Why didn't the TSA stop the Batman Terrorist??? Obviously it is because the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) only defends AIRPORTS against terrorists.
As the Batman Terrorist showed, terrorists can strike at movie theatres and the TSA won't be able to stop them because they aren't there. They are over at the airport.
The TSA should be renamed the Transportation and Movie Theater Safety Administration (TMTSA), and people should be searched, fondled, and x-rayed FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY before they can go into a movie theater. You know it makes sense.
But then terrorists will strike at supermarkets, you say. And you are quite right. So the TMTSA should take over safety at supermarkets too. The Transportation, Supermarket, and Movie Theater Safety Administration (TSMTSA) will keep you safe! Sure it'll be a bit harder to get groceries, but think about the SAFETY!!
In fact, why not just have a TSMTSA agent to follow around EVERY person to keep them safe!! YAY SAFETY!!!