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The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913

 
Ap0c@Lyp5e
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07/26/2012 09:58 PM
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The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE - UNTIL I READ THIS

"I can't recall ever shitting my pants, but once I came close.

Actually, it wasn't close, but it would've been epic had anyone been in the Wal-Mart bathroom with me that afternoon. The porcelain throne gods were divine that day.

So once I went on this diet and I bought this box of Fiber One cereal, the kind with the honey clusters in it, was rather tasty. When I got home from work about 4 o clock, I smoked a fat-ass spliff. I didn't feel like cooking so I grubbed down on another big bowl of cereal. Later than night after playing cards at a friend's house and stuff, I went home and had another bowl. And then another in the morning for breakfast, when I finished off the last of the box.

A day and a half later, I'm in Wal-Mart shopping. My stomach told me I had to get to a bathroom--Doo-Doo was knocking at the door! I HATE taking a shit in public bathrooms and I dreaded having an audience. But fortune shone down upon me, when I walked through the lavatory door and found myself alone with those pristine stalls of relief.

I entered the first one closest to the door, abandoning my cart with great haste outside in the aisle. After what seemed an eternity of getting my pants and drawers down to my ankles, I aimed my ass at the toilet and prepared to sit down for the beckoning.

The passage was so swift and powerful, I felt ejected back off the seat as though I'd been jet-propelled, like a hovercraft creating it's own gravity-well through sheer propulsion. They say Fiber cleans your colon, which I'd never had cleaned before, and as I gripped the sides of the seat tightly and felt everything loosen within myself during the purge, I remembered that box of cereal.

It wasn't turds or diarrhea, but one smooth and epic schlong of anti-matter. It even changed in the way it SMELLED about halfway through, and I felt as though I'd LOST something. It came out so fast and furiously that I immediately broke a sweat and it was all I could do to keep myself from crying out.

Afterwards, I wiped hurriedly before anyone could come in to smell the effects of my deep cleanse still lingering in the air. When I stood up, I knew and felt as though something profound had occurred within me, and with both shock and relief I peered down into the bowl, curious to identify everything I'd just left behind. It was the longest groman I'd ever seen coiled in the water, the peak just breaking the surface and offering still more essence of the prolific elimination. I observed that half of it was a different color, and I knew instinctively that it had been the "new" smell I'd experienced during the process.

Best shit I ever took. Later I coined it, "The Fiber One Shit/Challenge" upon recommending it to my friends and family.

DO IT!"
Judgement is coming..
Ap0c@Lyp5e (OP)

User ID: 20318505
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07/26/2012 10:10 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
please read, it will make your day, i did not write it but I had to share
Judgement is coming..
Holden

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07/26/2012 10:14 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
This interests me.
TDJ

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07/26/2012 10:19 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
instant classic
If something can corrupt you, you're corrupted already.

Bob Marley

“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.”
THOMAS PAINE (1737-1809)

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. Bruce Lee
Holden

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07/26/2012 10:20 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
Do you think it smelled like A-1 sauce?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/27/2012 05:21 AM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
Do you think it smelled like A-1 sauce?
 Quoting: Holden


It seems it had many odors
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/27/2012 03:19 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
Please read or forever be deprived
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/27/2012 04:01 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
Bumping my own thread is awesome
Mortal Epiphany

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07/27/2012 04:08 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
laugh

Best. Poop story. Ever.
5stars
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/27/2012 04:15 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
laugh

Best. Poop story. Ever.
:5stars:
 Quoting: Mortal Epiphany


It is a masterpiece i cried when i read it i laughed so hard
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2012 04:16 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
fight ahhhh!
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2012 04:20 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
OHH MAN THIS HAS ME LAUGHING OUT LOUD AT WORK

AHHAHAHAHA TOO DAMN FUNNY
Anonymous Coward
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07/27/2012 04:45 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE - UNTIL I READ THIS


It wasn't turds or diarrhea, but one smooth and epic schlong of anti-matter. It even changed in the way it SMELLED about halfway through, and I felt as though I'd LOST something. It came out so fast and furiously that I immediately broke a sweat and it was all I could do to keep myself from crying out.


 Quoting: Ap0c@Lyp5e

I call this "having poop babies." It is like going into labor, but you have poop babies instead of a human child.

Poop babies.

shit
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/27/2012 07:30 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
OHH MAN THIS HAS ME LAUGHING OUT LOUD AT WORK

AHHAHAHAHA TOO DAMN FUNNY
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1274745


I will savor this piece of elaborate writing to read every few weeks
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/27/2012 08:23 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
dont miss it plez
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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07/27/2012 09:14 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
=D
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
07/28/2012 09:20 AM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
clappa
Anonymous Coward
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07/28/2012 11:46 AM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
clappa
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20380339


pigchef
Ap0c@Lyp5e (OP)

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07/29/2012 01:12 AM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
Read
Judgement is coming..
Anonymous Coward
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07/29/2012 03:12 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
5a
Anonymous Coward
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06/10/2014 01:19 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
bump for a laugh.
Anonymous Coward
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06/10/2014 01:22 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
I wrote that. I'm so glad someone shared it, and that you all loved it so much.

Anyone tried the challenge?
Anonymous Coward
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06/10/2014 01:27 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
That's gross angryface
Anonymous Coward
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06/10/2014 01:27 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE - UNTIL I READ THIS


It wasn't turds or diarrhea, but one smooth and epic schlong of anti-matter. It even changed in the way it SMELLED about halfway through, and I felt as though I'd LOST something. It came out so fast and furiously that I immediately broke a sweat and it was all I could do to keep myself from crying out.


 Quoting: Ap0c@Lyp5e

I call this "having poop babies." It is like going into labor, but you have poop babies instead of a human child.

Poop babies.

shit
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20521926


There isn't much of a difference.
Anonymous Coward
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06/10/2014 01:38 PM
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Re: The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
actually, I have done this... not the cereal, but the fiber one bars

I got stoned one night a couple years back, and was looking for some munchies, my mom had a box of chocolate chip granola bars in her pantry, I ignored the fact it said fiber one, figuring it was some kind of diet shit she was always eating. One was great, so I ate the whole box.

By the next morning, my god, my gut was gurgling and I knew this was going to be bad. I barely made it to the shitter and when I did, I exploded with a force not unlike the person in the OP... one of the best shits I've ever taken. I was addicted to heroin for years, so some of those shits were actually better, if you've never experienced dope shits (try going for a week or two without shitting no matter how hard you try and then when it comes out all at once it's like giving birth to triplets) but this one was definitely cleaned me the fuck out.

Never again will I eat so many of those fucking things. Caught me totally off guard.

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