I am calm, collected, and thoughtful except when I'm raging like a furious psychopath and breaking things.

I am polite and easy to get along with except for when I'm being a rude, obnoxious asshole.

I value hard work until I'm asked to do it.

I tend to be a quiet, keep to myself kind of person, but unexpectedly find myself babbling at the top of my lungs about some shit nobody cares about.

I don't like people but like to be around them.

I dare you to find somebody more screwed up than me.