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Welcome to the New World Order (Warning: poetry within)

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17090286
United States
08/03/2012 01:36 PM
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Welcome to the New World Order (Warning: poetry within)
Wake up, jump in the shower,
don't forget to set the coffee maker,
'cause it's good to the last drop.
Wash yourself down with dove body soap,
because it's soft on your skin.
Brush your teeth with your Crest fluoride toothpaste,
now with extra fluoride to make them nice and clean.

Welcome to the New World Order.

Turn on the TV, local news,
Baby was just murdered by her mother,
and your toothpaste could be poisoning you,
but it's all fine 'cause that brand new Lexus is nice and safe.

Welcome to the New World Order.

Back to the news, cheerful smiles turn somber,
joking aside, possible terrorists in your neighborhood,
next door, in the closet, beneath your bed.

Welcome to the New World Order.

Go to work, sit in your cubicle,
watch the clock's hands spin,
go to your meetings, file reports,
data entry, it's 12 o'clock,
buckle up in your Lexus or Soccermom Mobile,
time to get some lunch at,
Burger King where you can have it your way,
except you can't.

Welcome to the New World Order.

Back to work, finish your day,
punch the clock and don't delay,
drive thru diet, time for another burger,
or maybe taco bell ultra spicy burrito,
'cause you're thinking outside the bun.

Welcome to the New World Order.

Back home, 6 o'clock news,
man shot up his workplace,
calls for gun control,
and by the way, new studies show,
brush your teeth after every meal,
or was that three times a day?
Don't forget to floss, and don't forget,
your floss could be killing you.

Welcome to the New World Order.

Where people get their dreams shattered,
on Dancing with the Next Top Chef,
for your own amusement.
Cut to commerical break,
Tide fabric softener will cure your scratchy clothes,
but be careful, your fabric softener
could be killing you.

Welcome to the New World Order.

Take another shower,
use your Irish Spring so you can
smell like a fresh Irish rain,
but your soap could be causing skin cancer,
jump out brush your teeth,
floss your teeth,
bark at shadows,
gnash your teeth,
Hop in bed in your nice soft sheets by Martha Stewart,
try to sleep with the terrorists in your closet,
under your bed, in your head.

Welcome to the New World Order.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
08/03/2012 01:43 PM
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Re: Welcome to the New World Order (Warning: poetry within)
Feeling poetic. At least it wasn't as bad as "Ode to a lump of green puddy I found in my armpit one midsummer's morning"
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
09/11/2012 11:07 AM
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Re: Welcome to the New World Order (Warning: poetry within)
I sent this to a publisher. Wish me luck.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
10/10/2012 08:07 AM
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Re: Welcome to the New World Order (Warning: poetry within)
I sent this to a publisher. Wish me luck.
 Quoting: Cave Johnson


They felt it would have too much of a negative response to publish.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1449081
Australia
10/10/2012 08:27 AM
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Re: Welcome to the New World Order (Warning: poetry within)
Cool. Thanks for sharing. There's room for the daring.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 300884
Sweden
10/10/2012 08:39 AM
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Re: Welcome to the New World Order (Warning: poetry within)
I just came here to say I appreciate being warned of such things!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
04/12/2013 07:58 PM
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Re: Welcome to the New World Order (Warning: poetry within)
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34488577
United States
05/15/2013 11:18 PM
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Re: Welcome to the New World Order (Warning: poetry within)
It would be "too negative" to publish???

I guess we're doing so well that people only write about happy things!

Now on to you OP, if you DID get it published, do you think you would be targeted for mentioning them?

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