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very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)

 
pink cat
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08/05/2012 12:02 PM
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very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
This is from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, a collection of things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

+++

i had to share this with you because that is the most hilarious thing i have read all week :)

Last Edited by pink cat on 08/05/2012 12:08 PM
+++ with a bunny hat +++
pink cat (OP)

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08/05/2012 12:12 PM
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Re: very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
shameless bumping!
+++ with a bunny hat +++
Anonymous Coward
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08/05/2012 12:13 PM
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Re: very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
bump
thetrickybigguy
say hello to my little friend...

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08/05/2012 12:24 PM

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Re: very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
this is an old one.....

WTF do you call 500 hundred lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?





a good start....


5a
Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. ~

Life is about choices, you get to make them each and every day of your life. ~

Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.~

Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.~

“When a government is dependent for money upon the bankers, they and not the government leaders control the nation. This is because the hand that gives is above the hand that takes. Financiers are without patriotism and without decency.”
pink cat (OP)

User ID: 20247439
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08/05/2012 12:33 PM
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Re: very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
this is an old one.....

WTF do you call 500 hundred lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?





a good start....


5a
 Quoting: thetrickybigguy


rockonrockonrockonbanana2banana2banana25a
+++ with a bunny hat +++
Sandi_T

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08/05/2012 12:36 PM
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Re: very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
How did the brain get into the jar?

scratching
No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf:

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Psych

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Netherlands
08/05/2012 12:38 PM

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Re: very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
chuckle
Yogi2493

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08/05/2012 12:42 PM

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Re: very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz ? The porcupine has it's pricks on the outside.
Yogi2493
asymetriclogic

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08/05/2012 01:14 PM

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Re: very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
This made my day!!!!!!!! Thanks for the laugh.
Where spirit, logic, intuition, and truth intermingle.
Anonymous Coward
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Mexico
09/26/2012 07:18 PM
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Re: very very hilarious thing said in court! for real! LOL :)
Hahahahahhaha

applause2


Americans seems to have forgotten to laugh.

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