thank for sharing this

forgiving yourself for your choice that night has clearly catalysed a powerful release in you
allowing you to 'let go' of your self blame for your inaction that night

not that i think you were to blame btw , just seeing that you had held that belief yourself but were releasing it -

your wife is and was ultimately responsible for her choices that night too( unless she was forced/raped of course)
and it is her journey to forgive herself -although your forgiveness might catalyse that- might have already


but you two managed 21 yrs after that-enormous well done -that's fast track learning , the hard way -so it not for nought , there has to have been a lot of love there

i've read it takes 3 lifetimes together to get it right

so i find we're are awfully hard on ourselves
for our beautifully human( nod to jill scott awesomeness)
but oft crapulous ways

we all make crap choices - all the time
it's what we do next that matters imo

and it is so very good to be alive

letting go of the pain of self loathing
and receiving the peace of self acceptance

you're a cool bloke marty :-)