While protesting the Evil, I was pulled out of my car and floated up into a UFO last night. Four people in the parking lot of our IHOP saw this and tried to pull me back down with a tree pruning pole. They were almost electrocuted by the force that traveled thru the pruner and knocked them into the ground.

The local rescue squad had to dig them out.

I tried to run away, but ended up in a Demon ship and was water boarded with some alien device that made noises that sounded like a cat meowing.

I THEN WAS TOLD TO LEAVE THIS WORLD OR DIE BY NEXT Tuesday. They also made me listen to their music, which sounds like Satan taking a dump.

They then flew me back to the municipal dump, where I awoke an hour ago.

Someone, please make the sign of the cross for me.....