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Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside

 
bendinglight

User ID: 2143478
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08/17/2012 03:33 PM

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Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
jesusaccord


alien03
butt

Last Edited by Bending Light on 03/30/2013 01:43 PM
Scarbedazzles

User ID: 7087818
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08/17/2012 03:35 PM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
AND God "drove" Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden in a TEMPEST!!! LOL. They had cars before cars even WERE cars!!!
Fool me once, shame on you.....fool me twice shame on me.
bendinglight (OP)

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08/17/2012 03:39 PM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
AND God "drove" Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden in a TEMPEST!!! LOL. They had cars before cars even WERE cars!!!
 Quoting: Scarbedazzles


It wouldn't the first time a Bible statement breaks scientific law and documented human history lol.
bendinglight (OP)

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08/18/2012 10:42 PM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Be like Jesus.. drive an Accord!
Shoot straight Johnny
Yeah...yeah and thrice yeah

User ID: 14510810
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08/18/2012 10:44 PM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Moses went up the hill in his Triumph.
The chariots of God are tens of thousands, and thousands of thousands.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18835047
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08/18/2012 11:16 PM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Moses went up the hill in his Triumph.
 Quoting: Shoot straight Johnny


"...and his triumph was heard throughout the land", actually.

They also played tennis, as David served in Herod's court.
T Ceti H.C. Radnarg

User ID: 22124619
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08/18/2012 11:19 PM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Moses went up the hill in his Triumph.
 Quoting: Shoot straight Johnny


"...and his triumph was heard throughout the land", actually.

They also played tennis, as David served in Herod's court.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18835047


cruise..dont forget Jesus was a surfer too he "walked " on water...
How unfortunate for some rulers when men,women,and children continue to think... Keep repeating the lies loud enough and long enough and just maybe the people will start to believe the lies again and good luck with that...finding your energy open until mars becomes raging aries...
Shoot straight Johnny
Yeah...yeah and thrice yeah

User ID: 14510810
United Kingdom
08/18/2012 11:23 PM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Moses went up the hill in his Triumph.
 Quoting: Shoot straight Johnny


"...and his triumph was heard throughout the land", actually.

They also played tennis, as David served in Herod's court.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18835047


LoL
The chariots of God are tens of thousands, and thousands of thousands.
abhie

User ID: 22210999
India
08/18/2012 11:31 PM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
ROFL!
(I'm male, mid-40's, and live and work in India as a designer. Writing is a passion of mine, as is painting. My avatar represents my protagonist against the Illuminati -a female warrior.)
laotszungb
abhie

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08/18/2012 11:32 PM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
The "you are a SATANIST"'s are soon going to be all over this thread.
(I'm male, mid-40's, and live and work in India as a designer. Writing is a passion of mine, as is painting. My avatar represents my protagonist against the Illuminati -a female warrior.)
laotszungb
bendinglight (OP)

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08/19/2012 12:22 AM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
The "you are a SATANIST"'s are soon going to be all over this thread.
 Quoting: abhie


sheeplechristian
SeriousNews

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08/19/2012 12:24 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
5a
All is divine in your minds eye.

:snbanner:
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 12:38 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Mark 6:25- King James Version (KJV)
"25 And she came in straightway with haste unto the king, and asked, saying, I will that thou give me by and by in a charger the head of John the Baptist."


Imagine a decapitated head being delivered in a Dodge Charger!
lmao
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 12:41 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
what the fuck is this thread about?
Skin Suit

User ID: 4280163
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08/19/2012 12:47 AM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Habakkuk 1:8
Their horses also are swifter than leopards, And more fierce than evening wolves. Their chargers charge ahead; Their cavalry comes from afar; They fly as the eagle that hastens to eat.


a little mad max with the chargers being the calvary too...sounds like a good car advertisement for dodge chargers.

lol

those israelites knew how to roll, habakkuk charger style.
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 12:47 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
There were even Asian drivers around at the time.

2 Kings 9:20

The lookout reported, "He has reached them, but he isn't coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi--he drives like a madman."
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 12:53 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Also, Alabama is mentioned in the Bible.

Ezekiel 20:29

Then I said to them: What is this high place you go to? It is called Bamah to this day.

battleflag
Skin Suit

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08/19/2012 12:58 AM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Exodus 12:39
And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough which they had brought out of Egypt; for it was not leavened, because they were driven out of Egypt and could not wait, nor had they prepared provisions for themselves.


its all coming together, jesus drove them out on his own accord.

otrike

sounds like they hit the survival store
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 01:05 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Matthew 12:34
"34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."


Huh, that's weird? Jesus seems to be talking to a parking lot full of Dodge Vipers. Did someone forget to remind Jesus that cars can't talk?
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 01:17 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
LOL funny my first car was a Honda accord thumbs
Scarbedazzles

User ID: 7087818
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08/19/2012 01:21 AM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
really funny thread... i'm glad it re-surfaced.
Fool me once, shame on you.....fool me twice shame on me.
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 01:24 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Jesus drives a 2012 Camry - Silver
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 01:26 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
I really did have a black Honda Accord hatchback back in Ylem High-School. It was so tiny, I used to haul around parking cones in the back so I could scoot in behind others in the same parking spot, set out the cones behind me, and never fear that I'd be denied my rightful place, no matter who may've claimed it beforehand...

Principal Belding used to get sooo mad. Suffice it to say, AC Slater was not his favorite.

Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 01:37 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Jesus drives a 2012 Camry - Silver
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9736089


Yeah, but the luster is fading fast, and I'm thinking black has a certain permanence I find undeniably attractive...

Must resist endless eclipse...

Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/19/2012 02:00 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Exodus 12:39
And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough which they had brought out of Egypt; for it was not leavened, because they were driven out of Egypt and could not wait, nor had they prepared provisions for themselves.


its all coming together, jesus drove them out on his own accord.

otrike

sounds like they hit the survival store
 Quoting: Skin Suit


Right on!
clappa

Jesus stuffed them in the Accord like Mexicans trying to cross a border!
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 02:06 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
He drives people mad...
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2012 02:30 AM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
"These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren." Acts 1:14

You can get the whole congregation in the back seat, plenty of leg room.
bendinglight (OP)

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08/19/2012 11:50 AM

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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
"These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren." Acts 1:14

You can get the whole congregation in the back seat, plenty of leg room.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3767410


Honda Accord.. The holy car where even the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren were inside praying.


jesusaccord
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/23/2012 12:31 PM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
Exodus 12:39
And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough which they had brought out of Egypt; for it was not leavened, because they were driven out of Egypt and could not wait, nor had they prepared provisions for themselves.


its all coming together, jesus drove them out on his own accord.

otrike

sounds like they hit the survival store
 Quoting: Skin Suit


Right on!
clappa

Jesus stuffed them in the Accord like Mexicans trying to cross a border!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2143478


bump
angel4
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2012 12:35 PM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
A teenage boy had just got his driver's license and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car.'

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut.'

The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.'

To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?'
Anonymous Coward
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08/23/2012 12:37 PM
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Re: Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside
:jesusaccord:


alien03
butt
 Quoting: bendinglight


lmaolmaolmaolmaolmao