Jesus drove a Honda Accord.. no really he did, Bible says so! Proof inside

AND God "drove" Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden in a TEMPEST!!! LOL. They had cars before cars even WERE cars!!!

It wouldn't the first time a Bible statement breaks scientific law and documented human history lol.

Be like Jesus.. drive an Accord!

Moses went up the hill in his Triumph.

"...and his triumph was heard throughout the land", actually.

They also played tennis, as David served in Herod's court.

..dont forget Jesus was a surfer too he "walked " on water...

LoL

ROFL!

The "you are a SATANIST"'s are soon going to be all over this thread.

Mark 6:25- King James Version (KJV)
"25 And she came in straightway with haste unto the king, and asked, saying, I will that thou give me by and by in a charger the head of John the Baptist."


Imagine a decapitated head being delivered in a Dodge Charger!

what the fuck is this thread about?

Habakkuk 1:8
Their horses also are swifter than leopards, And more fierce than evening wolves. Their chargers charge ahead; Their cavalry comes from afar; They fly as the eagle that hastens to eat.


a little mad max with the chargers being the calvary too...sounds like a good car advertisement for dodge chargers.



those israelites knew how to roll, habakkuk charger style.

There were even Asian drivers around at the time.

2 Kings 9:20

The lookout reported, "He has reached them, but he isn't coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi--he drives like a madman."

Also, Alabama is mentioned in the Bible.

Ezekiel 20:29

Then I said to them: What is this high place you go to? It is called Bamah to this day.

Exodus 12:39
And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough which they had brought out of Egypt; for it was not leavened, because they were driven out of Egypt and could not wait, nor had they prepared provisions for themselves.


its all coming together, jesus drove them out on his own accord.



sounds like they hit the survival store

Matthew 12:34
"34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."


Huh, that's weird? Jesus seems to be talking to a parking lot full of Dodge Vipers. Did someone forget to remind Jesus that cars can't talk?

LOL funny my first car was a Honda accord

really funny thread... i'm glad it re-surfaced.

Jesus drives a 2012 Camry - Silver

I really did have a black Honda Accord hatchback back in Ylem High-School. It was so tiny, I used to haul around parking cones in the back so I could scoot in behind others in the same parking spot, set out the cones behind me, and never fear that I'd be denied my rightful place, no matter who may've claimed it beforehand...

Principal Belding used to get sooo mad. Suffice it to say, AC Slater was not his favorite.

Yeah, but the luster is fading fast, and I'm thinking black has a certain permanence I find undeniably attractive...

Must resist endless eclipse...

Right on!


Jesus stuffed them in the Accord like Mexicans trying to cross a border!

He drives people mad...

"These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren." Acts 1:14

You can get the whole congregation in the back seat, plenty of leg room.

Honda Accord.. The holy car where even the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren were inside praying.