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Medicare And My Mother

 
tiger1 (OP)

User ID: 6269153
United States
08/20/2012 12:27 AM

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Re: Medicare And My Mother
sell your mothers house, and build a room on your house for her. Take care of her.

It's not the governments problem to take care of your family.

Whats wrong with people.

I know people in my church who have taken eldery people to live in their home to help them out. Until they are too sick to live at home or are a danger (starting fires or leaving to freeze to death outside) to themselves or children in your home, YOU should take care of your family.

Thats what life is all about.
Taking care of each other.

Take care of your mother.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1290518


Yes

THIS

since when is it someone else's responsibility to take care of someone's family??

100 years ago people did it automatically

Why is it everyone in this country feels ENTITLED in some way?

The elderly think it is someone's responsibility to take care of them....

The poor think they are entitled to hand outs


Take care of your own family
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22161671


ENTITLED? She has been paying for medicare. It is not an entitlement like medicaid.
 Quoting: tiger1


yea, isnt medicare our money?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1517542


She pays for it. Talk to the medicaid crowd about the use of your money.They do not pay 1 thin dime.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
08/20/2012 12:27 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
sell your mothers house, and build a room on your house for her. Take care of her.

It's not the governments problem to take care of your family.

Whats wrong with people.

I know people in my church who have taken eldery people to live in their home to help them out. Until they are too sick to live at home or are a danger (starting fires or leaving to freeze to death outside) to themselves or children in your home, YOU should take care of your family.

Thats what life is all about.
Taking care of each other.

Take care of your mother.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1290518


Yes

THIS

since when is it someone else's responsibility to take care of someone's family??

100 years ago people did it automatically

Why is it everyone in this country feels ENTITLED in some way?

The elderly think it is someone's responsibility to take care of them....

The poor think they are entitled to hand outs


Take care of your own family
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22161671

And it is sick how children think they are entitled to care from parents also, right?
Put the elders out like the folks up North, in the old days, to starve and freeze?
Put the kids to work, like other places, right?
You will never get old and still have your mind and desire a bit of life, right?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14788332


When you get old you need to think what is best for others. I wouldn't put my kids out or have unreasonable demands on them. My daughter has already said I will live with her. Whatever makes it easiest on my kids is what I will do.
Coolman
User ID: 20409369
United States
08/20/2012 12:28 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
LOL you idiots it will be worse under rommney LOLOLOLOL
tiger1 (OP)

User ID: 6269153
United States
08/20/2012 12:28 AM

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Re: Medicare And My Mother
...and I watched Obama's speech in New Hampshire yesterday, dripping heavy with sarcasm like no other President in history; stuttering, claiming he SAVED Medicare.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


Yeah, saved medicare by killing off all the elderly, the bastard.
 Quoting: tiger1


I was off work Thurs and Fri to take my mom to a dr. Tomorrow is catscan. We decided to do it the hard way rather spend 12 hours suffering in an emergency room waiting for the illegals and knife stabbing, gunshot victims and drug OD'ers to get treatment before us. Tomorrow I tell my boss at the company I've been at for 8 years that I have to leave early again. He won't tolerate much more of that, he just wants someone at my desk working, and if I can't do it...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


I wish you the best. This all is not easy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
08/20/2012 12:31 AM
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That is why you have to put yourself before them. Take care of yourself first or you can't take care of them. This is what parents have to do with children. And put your foot down with her. Don't let her ruin you or your siblings life. Take care of her but don't let her control you and be unreasonable. She won't like it but that is just the way it is. You have become the parent now so act like one. If she can push you around she will keep doing this until there is nothing left of you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


There is nothing I can do with her. She is extremely independant, but yet is so dependant on others.
 Quoting: tiger1


You can lay it on the line and tell her you can't do this much anymore. That she is going to have to give in and meet you at least half way. Get ready for tough love or you can just let her run your life until she dies.

I had to move a few states away from my mom because of work and she knows it is either assisted living for her or moving in with me. I cannot run down to see her at all because finances are tight now. It is rough but you have to do what is best for you. She is 90 years old and has lived a long life. She doesn't have the right to run anyone ragged. She needs to understand she is old and has to deal with it now. And you need to help her see this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


If we pull out on her, she will be dead in a week. I cannot live with that.
 Quoting: tiger1


But she is making this choice by being unreasonable. You and your siblings have opened your homes to her. And if she cannot accept that then her death would be on her hands. There is only so much you can do with someone who is being foolish.
tiger1 (OP)

User ID: 6269153
United States
08/20/2012 12:31 AM

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Re: Medicare And My Mother
I love how GLPers act so anti-government and hate "THE MAN" yet when their mothers need free healthcare they get upset when it isn't enough.

Your mother shouldn't be living at home, at that state she SHOULD be in an assisted living facility - period. Its insane to complain because you aren't being given enough over the top free taxpayer benefits on this. Its only right that medicare would cover it after depleting her assets - you should pay for your own bills in this country.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19099851


Medicare is not free, and she has no assets other than her small house. I pay my bills, do you pay yours?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
08/20/2012 12:32 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
LOL you idiots it will be worse under rommney LOLOLOLOL
 Quoting: Coolman 20409369


It really doesn't matter who is elected. TPTB decide what is going to happen.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21982181
United States
08/20/2012 12:33 AM
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That is why you have to put yourself before them. Take care of yourself first or you can't take care of them. This is what parents have to do with children. And put your foot down with her. Don't let her ruin you or your siblings life. Take care of her but don't let her control you and be unreasonable. She won't like it but that is just the way it is. You have become the parent now so act like one. If she can push you around she will keep doing this until there is nothing left of you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


There is nothing I can do with her. She is extremely independant, but yet is so dependant on others.
 Quoting: tiger1


You can lay it on the line and tell her you can't do this much anymore. That she is going to have to give in and meet you at least half way. Get ready for tough love or you can just let her run your life until she dies.

I had to move a few states away from my mom because of work and she knows it is either assisted living for her or moving in with me. I cannot run down to see her at all because finances are tight now. It is rough but you have to do what is best for you. She is 90 years old and has lived a long life. She doesn't have the right to run anyone ragged. She needs to understand she is old and has to deal with it now. And you need to help her see this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


If we pull out on her, she will be dead in a week. I cannot live with that.
 Quoting: tiger1


That's the thing too. So many families easily adapt to throwing mom or dad in a nursing home. One lady I work with who considers herself 'caring for her mother' by dumping her in a nursing home told me the other day how she can't stand to visit the place! She tried to get in and out quickly. And everyone lauds her as the perfect daughter!

We aren't those kind of folks. We are VERY close and they have lived with me for years. If one is separated from the others, they will die. I know this. Still, my mother says no matter what we do as children, we will still have guilt, it's the nature of the situation. Even if we do everything right. She's 78 and sharp as a tack but has developed medical problems. Wish you could talk to her OP. ;)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21982181
United States
08/20/2012 12:39 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
LOL you idiots it will be worse under rommney LOLOLOLOL
 Quoting: Coolman 20409369


It really doesn't matter who is elected. TPTB decide what is going to happen.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


Yeah, guess you haven't seen the statistics on the amount of doctors that are already, and will be - closing up shop. And the hospitals that will be closing. That WILL NOT happen under Romney. Not one person in the House or Senate voted for Obama's last bill. Do you even follow what's going on? Romney/Ryan are not our saviors, we know that, we're not children, but there IS a stark contrast between their ideology and Obama's.

Look at Obama - LYING LYING LYING saying Ryan's plan will END MEDICARE AS WE KNOW IT. It won't even TOUCH anyone currently receiving Medicare or approaching Medicare. Vouchers are for the Gen Xer's and below. My boss is a millionaire and he gets a Medicare check! You don't opt out you know. Ryan's plan would allow people a CHOICE to go about Medicare as usual or get that money back to invest in a lump sum to invest as they want to gamble with it. This is a GREAT idea and will take those people out of the system, like my boss, and leave money there for the poorer people who DO need it, like my parents.
Anonymous Coward
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08/20/2012 12:41 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
It is not easy, and unfortunately, in these situations all you can do is hoop jump the best you can. With my mother, in WV, it was easy. Social workers did the work. Mother in law, in KY, it was...my God it was horrible, frustrating, infuriating. My last suggestion is...and again Im sure it is state dependent, setting up a trust. Im not sure what your state calls it, but theyre eligibility trusts, income cap trusts, something like that...assuming becoming medicaid eligible would allow more in home care. I hate this for you, but at least you are doing the best you can. It doesn't ease the pain or frustration short term, but I think regrets later on are much harder to live with.

And THANK YOU for posting. I was ignorant about what obamacare had done to the elerly, and now know I need to talk to my grandmother, to see if she is affected. Fortunately at ninety she's still pretty active and healthy, but...now that my moms gone, I need to get better informed, for her. So thank you.

...and I watched Obama's speech in New Hampshire yesterday, dripping heavy with sarcasm like no other President in history; stuttering, claiming he SAVED Medicare.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


Yeah, saved medicare by killing off all the elderly, the bastard.
 Quoting: tiger1


I was off work Thurs and Fri to take my mom to a dr. Tomorrow is catscan. We decided to do it the hard way rather spend 12 hours suffering in an emergency room waiting for the illegals and knife stabbing, gunshot victims and drug OD'ers to get treatment before us. Tomorrow I tell my boss at the company I've been at for 8 years that I have to leave early again. He won't tolerate much more of that, he just wants someone at my desk working, and if I can't do it...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


I wish you the best. This all is not easy.
 Quoting: tiger1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
08/20/2012 12:42 AM
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We have talked to her doctors, and to a Social Worker. Unless my mother is deemed incompetant, there is nothing we can do.
 Quoting: tiger1


Then do nothing since she is so stubborn she won't listen to reason. Do what you can but until she gives in some let her deal with it. Stop enabling her and let her see how it is. I am going to have to do this soon with my stubborn mother. Sheesh, they become like little stubborn children. If she wants to live on her own then she will have to take everything that comes with it. Eventually they will break something and have to be put into a home or live with someone. It is crappy getting old but it must be dealt with and stubbornness is not the way to go.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


and soon your day will come. And your freedom and independence will be labeled "stubborness" - and you will be seen as a burden to all around you...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


The truth.
 Quoting: tiger1


No, it is not the truth. Like I already said I have a daughter I will move in with. Or if things change I will check myself into a nursing home. I will not become a burden on anyone. And I am not attached to my house or stuff. I have lived a good life and want the young people to live one as well. But many old people don't think like that. It is always about them when it should be what is best for all involved.
tiger1 (OP)

User ID: 6269153
United States
08/20/2012 12:43 AM

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Re: Medicare And My Mother
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There is nothing I can do with her. She is extremely independant, but yet is so dependant on others.
 Quoting: tiger1


You can lay it on the line and tell her you can't do this much anymore. That she is going to have to give in and meet you at least half way. Get ready for tough love or you can just let her run your life until she dies.

I had to move a few states away from my mom because of work and she knows it is either assisted living for her or moving in with me. I cannot run down to see her at all because finances are tight now. It is rough but you have to do what is best for you. She is 90 years old and has lived a long life. She doesn't have the right to run anyone ragged. She needs to understand she is old and has to deal with it now. And you need to help her see this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


If we pull out on her, she will be dead in a week. I cannot live with that.
 Quoting: tiger1


That's the thing too. So many families easily adapt to throwing mom or dad in a nursing home. One lady I work with who considers herself 'caring for her mother' by dumping her in a nursing home told me the other day how she can't stand to visit the place! She tried to get in and out quickly. And everyone lauds her as the perfect daughter!

We aren't those kind of folks. We are VERY close and they have lived with me for years. If one is separated from the others, they will die. I know this. Still, my mother says no matter what we do as children, we will still have guilt, it's the nature of the situation. Even if we do everything right. She's 78 and sharp as a tack but has developed medical problems. Wish you could talk to her OP. ;)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


My Dad, who died at age 65, was in a nursing home for a little over a year before he died. He had an enlarged heart, emphysema and dementia. When he tried to kill my mother, there was no choice but to put him into a nursing home. He got to the point of uncontrollable. Even at the nursing home, he was violent. He attacked other patients, and tried to strangle me one time when I came to visit him. He did not know what he was doing. It still made it very difficult for all of us. I wanted my Dad the way he was, not what he became.

I am falling asleep at my computer. I had better go to bed. I will pick this up tomorrow. Thank you, everyone, who has contributed to this discussion. hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
08/20/2012 12:43 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
LOL you idiots it will be worse under rommney LOLOLOLOL
 Quoting: Coolman 20409369


It really doesn't matter who is elected. TPTB decide what is going to happen.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


Yeah, guess you haven't seen the statistics on the amount of doctors that are already, and will be - closing up shop. And the hospitals that will be closing. That WILL NOT happen under Romney. Not one person in the House or Senate voted for Obama's last bill. Do you even follow what's going on? Romney/Ryan are not our saviors, we know that, we're not children, but there IS a stark contrast between their ideology and Obama's.

Look at Obama - LYING LYING LYING saying Ryan's plan will END MEDICARE AS WE KNOW IT. It won't even TOUCH anyone currently receiving Medicare or approaching Medicare. Vouchers are for the Gen Xer's and below. My boss is a millionaire and he gets a Medicare check! You don't opt out you know. Ryan's plan would allow people a CHOICE to go about Medicare as usual or get that money back to invest in a lump sum to invest as they want to gamble with it. This is a GREAT idea and will take those people out of the system, like my boss, and leave money there for the poorer people who DO need it, like my parents.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


They are going for their one world government no matter who is elected.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/20/2012 12:47 AM
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You can lay it on the line and tell her you can't do this much anymore. That she is going to have to give in and meet you at least half way. Get ready for tough love or you can just let her run your life until she dies.

I had to move a few states away from my mom because of work and she knows it is either assisted living for her or moving in with me. I cannot run down to see her at all because finances are tight now. It is rough but you have to do what is best for you. She is 90 years old and has lived a long life. She doesn't have the right to run anyone ragged. She needs to understand she is old and has to deal with it now. And you need to help her see this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


If we pull out on her, she will be dead in a week. I cannot live with that.
 Quoting: tiger1


That's the thing too. So many families easily adapt to throwing mom or dad in a nursing home. One lady I work with who considers herself 'caring for her mother' by dumping her in a nursing home told me the other day how she can't stand to visit the place! She tried to get in and out quickly. And everyone lauds her as the perfect daughter!

We aren't those kind of folks. We are VERY close and they have lived with me for years. If one is separated from the others, they will die. I know this. Still, my mother says no matter what we do as children, we will still have guilt, it's the nature of the situation. Even if we do everything right. She's 78 and sharp as a tack but has developed medical problems. Wish you could talk to her OP. ;)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


My Dad, who died at age 65, was in a nursing home for a little over a year before he died. He had an enlarged heart, emphysema and dementia. When he tried to kill my mother, there was no choice but to put him into a nursing home. He got to the point of uncontrollable. Even at the nursing home, he was violent. He attacked other patients, and tried to strangle me one time when I came to visit him. He did not know what he was doing. It still made it very difficult for all of us. I wanted my Dad the way he was, not what he became.

I am falling asleep at my computer. I had better go to bed. I will pick this up tomorrow. Thank you, everyone, who has contributed to this discussion. hf
 Quoting: tiger1


tiger1, please send me an e-mail when you can. Seriously would like to talk offline. There are so many of us out here.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21982181
United States
08/20/2012 12:48 AM
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If we pull out on her, she will be dead in a week. I cannot live with that.
 Quoting: tiger1


That's the thing too. So many families easily adapt to throwing mom or dad in a nursing home. One lady I work with who considers herself 'caring for her mother' by dumping her in a nursing home told me the other day how she can't stand to visit the place! She tried to get in and out quickly. And everyone lauds her as the perfect daughter!

We aren't those kind of folks. We are VERY close and they have lived with me for years. If one is separated from the others, they will die. I know this. Still, my mother says no matter what we do as children, we will still have guilt, it's the nature of the situation. Even if we do everything right. She's 78 and sharp as a tack but has developed medical problems. Wish you could talk to her OP. ;)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


My Dad, who died at age 65, was in a nursing home for a little over a year before he died. He had an enlarged heart, emphysema and dementia. When he tried to kill my mother, there was no choice but to put him into a nursing home. He got to the point of uncontrollable. Even at the nursing home, he was violent. He attacked other patients, and tried to strangle me one time when I came to visit him. He did not know what he was doing. It still made it very difficult for all of us. I wanted my Dad the way he was, not what he became.

I am falling asleep at my computer. I had better go to bed. I will pick this up tomorrow. Thank you, everyone, who has contributed to this discussion. hf
 Quoting: tiger1


tiger1, please send me an e-mail when you can. Seriously would like to talk offline. There are so many of us out here.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


also, anyone else who can relay these Medicare stories and what is happening to their loved one, I would like to hear from too.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21982181
United States
08/20/2012 12:50 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
LOL you idiots it will be worse under rommney LOLOLOLOL
 Quoting: Coolman 20409369


It really doesn't matter who is elected. TPTB decide what is going to happen.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


Yeah, guess you haven't seen the statistics on the amount of doctors that are already, and will be - closing up shop. And the hospitals that will be closing. That WILL NOT happen under Romney. Not one person in the House or Senate voted for Obama's last bill. Do you even follow what's going on? Romney/Ryan are not our saviors, we know that, we're not children, but there IS a stark contrast between their ideology and Obama's.

Look at Obama - LYING LYING LYING saying Ryan's plan will END MEDICARE AS WE KNOW IT. It won't even TOUCH anyone currently receiving Medicare or approaching Medicare. Vouchers are for the Gen Xer's and below. My boss is a millionaire and he gets a Medicare check! You don't opt out you know. Ryan's plan would allow people a CHOICE to go about Medicare as usual or get that money back to invest in a lump sum to invest as they want to gamble with it. This is a GREAT idea and will take those people out of the system, like my boss, and leave money there for the poorer people who DO need it, like my parents.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


They are going for their one world government no matter who is elected.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


Eventually, the Bible says that will happen - so I agree. But my parents are alive NOW and we fight for every day. Fighting means getting OBAMA out of office ASAP.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/20/2012 12:55 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
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It really doesn't matter who is elected. TPTB decide what is going to happen.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


Yeah, guess you haven't seen the statistics on the amount of doctors that are already, and will be - closing up shop. And the hospitals that will be closing. That WILL NOT happen under Romney. Not one person in the House or Senate voted for Obama's last bill. Do you even follow what's going on? Romney/Ryan are not our saviors, we know that, we're not children, but there IS a stark contrast between their ideology and Obama's.

Look at Obama - LYING LYING LYING saying Ryan's plan will END MEDICARE AS WE KNOW IT. It won't even TOUCH anyone currently receiving Medicare or approaching Medicare. Vouchers are for the Gen Xer's and below. My boss is a millionaire and he gets a Medicare check! You don't opt out you know. Ryan's plan would allow people a CHOICE to go about Medicare as usual or get that money back to invest in a lump sum to invest as they want to gamble with it. This is a GREAT idea and will take those people out of the system, like my boss, and leave money there for the poorer people who DO need it, like my parents.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


They are going for their one world government no matter who is elected.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


Eventually, the Bible says that will happen - so I agree. But my parents are alive NOW and we fight for every day. Fighting means getting OBAMA out of office ASAP.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21982181


But then one problem is just replace with another. And that is how it will go until they get the one world government. Remember they ALL lie. And why fight what the Bible says is inevitable? Don't get yourself worked up over presidents who really don't matter.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/20/2012 12:57 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
sell your mothers house, and build a room on your house for her. Take care of her.

It's not the governments problem to take care of your family.

Whats wrong with people.

I know people in my church who have taken eldery people to live in their home to help them out. Until they are too sick to live at home or are a danger (starting fires or leaving to freeze to death outside) to themselves or children in your home, YOU should take care of your family.

Thats what life is all about.
Taking care of each other.

Take care of your mother.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1290518


Ty, i honestly cant believe it took that many posts for someone to say this. I feel bad for your situation, however at the end of the day its you who will decide how you and your mothers future will pan out. Although it is defiantly mostly partly the goverments fault for your predicament, I have found dwelling on other peoples involvement in my problems is not as productive or easy as dwelling on my own involvement that could have improved my situation.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/20/2012 12:59 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
Just a thought.
If possible ,take a home equity loan on her house,
have an addition put on yours or other sibling.
(the addition would be private) although using main homes utilities.Move her in,
sell her house, pay off loan.
Use her SS ck and any spare income not used for her necessities to pay someone to come in when most
needed. Shop around there are a lot of people looking
for work.
Her money that is not used for the upkeep of her home will also be available.
Make up a schedule where the rest of the family has certain predetermined times to fill in and share the responsibility.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/20/2012 12:59 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
...



The slippery slope is well greased. The elite have no problems when it comes to medical needs, as they have the best care available to them. FTR, politicians are not forced into obamacare. They have their own insurance. If obamacare is good for the regular people, it should be good enough for them.
 Quoting: tiger1


Yes they should have the same insurance as the people who pay their paychecks. But they dont and they get away with it, they get away with anything they want, shame we have no say in nothing
Maybe you could rent her a small studio, she would fell like it was hers and small enough so he could get around in it
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2122560


My brothers have tried the apartment deal in a retirement community, and she refused.
 Quoting: tiger1


We went down exactly the same road as you did ... and they refused everything we tried to do for them.

We walked away finally. They lied, accused us of stealing, were nasty, and even when the office for the aged became involved wouldn't cooperate in any way. We can't even tell if they're paying their bills now. Almost certainly they aren't.

They wanted us to become their patsies and be their slaves. Oh please we're so old. No we won't clean toilets and drive 2 hrs each way every time they needed a ride. No I don't do dishes for charity, especially when they could easily hire a maid.

This is what you can look forward to. Get off the band wagon while you can.

tsk tsk its the nursing home... and YOU leave the state before they can charge you for their care.

The state is desperate for money. Anybody's money.
 Quoting: Mr. Toppit


You seem to be in a different situation than the others that are talking. It is one thing when the aged parents have money, and are not nice people, it is another when the aged parent doesn't have the money to hire someone and are loved by their families.

In my family we have enough people to help with an mom who is 90, but she finally moved in with one of my sisters. We love our mom.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/20/2012 01:02 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
sell your mothers house, and build a room on your house for her. Take care of her.

It's not the governments problem to take care of your family.

Whats wrong with people.

I know people in my church who have taken eldery people to live in their home to help them out. Until they are too sick to live at home or are a danger (starting fires or leaving to freeze to death outside) to themselves or children in your home, YOU should take care of your family.

Thats what life is all about.
Taking care of each other.

Take care of your mother.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1290518


Ty, i honestly cant believe it took that many posts for someone to say this. I feel bad for your situation, however at the end of the day its you who will decide how you and your mothers future will pan out. Although it is defiantly mostly partly the goverments fault for your predicament, I have found dwelling on other peoples involvement in my problems is not as productive or easy as dwelling on my own involvement that could have improved my situation.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14625665


If his mother would sell her place and go live with one of the kids the problem would be solved. But she is stubborn and the kids won't put their foot down. That is the real problem. So they are just going to have to run themselves ragged for a woman who shouldn't be living by herself at her age with her health problems. But hey, I have got my own mom under control. They need get their mom under control as well. But some people just like to complain and feel sorry for themselves instead of putting their foot down and moving mom in with them because that is the right thing to do and she will see that soon enough.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 285665
United States
08/20/2012 01:02 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
It's always amused me that when you hear a Demoncrap say something like "they don't care about the elderly" like you did again & again in reference to opposing Republicans during the Obamacare debates, what they're *always* telegraphing is the known quantity that they're trying to hide in whatever piece of legislation that they're pushing at the time.

They're the party of black is white up is down...


 Quoting: ScrumpTheTexan


bsflagAnd you claim to be a christian.Change your stupid name to scrump the antichrist whore already.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
08/20/2012 01:04 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
...


Yes they should have the same insurance as the people who pay their paychecks. But they dont and they get away with it, they get away with anything they want, shame we have no say in nothing
Maybe you could rent her a small studio, she would fell like it was hers and small enough so he could get around in it
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2122560


My brothers have tried the apartment deal in a retirement community, and she refused.
 Quoting: tiger1


We went down exactly the same road as you did ... and they refused everything we tried to do for them.

We walked away finally. They lied, accused us of stealing, were nasty, and even when the office for the aged became involved wouldn't cooperate in any way. We can't even tell if they're paying their bills now. Almost certainly they aren't.

They wanted us to become their patsies and be their slaves. Oh please we're so old. No we won't clean toilets and drive 2 hrs each way every time they needed a ride. No I don't do dishes for charity, especially when they could easily hire a maid.

This is what you can look forward to. Get off the band wagon while you can.

tsk tsk its the nursing home... and YOU leave the state before they can charge you for their care.

The state is desperate for money. Anybody's money.
 Quoting: Mr. Toppit


You seem to be in a different situation than the others that are talking. It is one thing when the aged parents have money, and are not nice people, it is another when the aged parent doesn't have the money to hire someone and are loved by their families.

In my family we have enough people to help with an mom who is 90, but she finally moved in with one of my sisters. We love our mom.
 Quoting: Daughter


That is good that your mom finally saw the light and did what was best. Some moms need more coaxing though.
Elephant

User ID: 1156712
Australia
08/20/2012 01:06 AM

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Re: Medicare And My Mother
Sorry for your delimma OP but it seems to me you have no say in the matter, your going to have to be cruel to be kind, your mum is not well and can't look after herself she's going to have to move in with you there's no way out of that if you don't want to put her in a nursing home, don't give her an option tell her she has to move in with you otherwise if she has an accident and hurts herself or worse you'll blame yourself for not doing it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
08/20/2012 01:06 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
Just a thought.
If possible ,take a home equity loan on her house,
have an addition put on yours or other sibling.
(the addition would be private) although using main homes utilities.Move her in,
sell her house, pay off loan.
Use her SS ck and any spare income not used for her necessities to pay someone to come in when most
needed. Shop around there are a lot of people looking
for work.
Her money that is not used for the upkeep of her home will also be available.
Make up a schedule where the rest of the family has certain predetermined times to fill in and share the responsibility.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13967625


He says she won't move from her house. So unless she changes her mind(or they apply tough love) there really isn't anything he can do but complain.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
08/20/2012 01:07 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
Sorry for your delimma OP but it seems to me you have no say in the matter, your going to have to be cruel to be kind, your mum is not well and can't look after herself she's going to have to move in with you there's no way out of that if you don't want to put her in a nursing home, don't give her an option tell her she has to move in with you otherwise if she has an accident and hurts herself or worse you'll blame yourself for not doing it.
 Quoting: Elephant


Yup
Tuff~Kooky

User ID: 18044353
United States
08/20/2012 01:16 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
If she didn't had that pacemaker put in, she'd be fine.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2274131


You are correct. I argued over the pacemaker, but the doctor scared her into having it done. She went into congestive heart failure 2 weeks after having the pacemaker put in. She has been on oxygen since then.
 Quoting: tiger1


Oh man. verysad
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14625665
United States
08/20/2012 01:30 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
...


Yes

THIS

since when is it someone else's responsibility to take care of someone's family??

100 years ago people did it automatically

Why is it everyone in this country feels ENTITLED in some way?

The elderly think it is someone's responsibility to take care of them....

The poor think they are entitled to hand outs


Take care of your own family
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22161671


ENTITLED? She has been paying for medicare. It is not an entitlement like medicaid.
 Quoting: tiger1


yea, isnt medicare our money?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1517542


She pays for it. Talk to the medicaid crowd about the use of your money.They do not pay 1 thin dime.
 Quoting: tiger1


Im not exactly sure, but doesnt she pay for some of it? Not some of the actual medicare, but some of the money needed for her treatment, you were talking about some big bucks there and i know medicare is running up huge deficits.

This is partly because of two things, one all the people with special disability's using medicare, and two the ridiculous high costs that are associated with the last one-two years of someones life.

Whatever the case may be sitting back and pointing fingers anywhere except to yourself wont get you anywhere.
Kirk

User ID: 10818676
United States
08/20/2012 01:30 AM

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Re: Medicare And My Mother
If she didn't had that pacemaker put in, she'd be fine.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2274131


You are correct. I argued over the pacemaker, but the doctor scared her into having it done. She went into congestive heart failure 2 weeks after having the pacemaker put in. She has been on oxygen since then.
 Quoting: tiger1


At this point try 600mg a day of Q10. If it doesn't fix the edema. . . You can buy Q10 at Costco they sell 300s so she only needs 2 a day.
Worry is a misuse of the imagination.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3978737
United States
08/20/2012 01:33 AM
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Re: Medicare And My Mother
sell your mothers house, and build a room on your house for her. Take care of her.

It's not the governments problem to take care of your family.

Whats wrong with people.

I know people in my church who have taken eldery people to live in their home to help them out. Until they are too sick to live at home or are a danger (starting fires or leaving to freeze to death outside) to themselves or children in your home, YOU should take care of your family.

Thats what life is all about.
Taking care of each other.

Take care of your mother.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1290518


Yes

THIS

since when is it someone else's responsibility to take care of someone's family??

100 years ago people did it automatically

Why is it everyone in this country feels ENTITLED in some way?

The elderly think it is someone's responsibility to take care of them....

The poor think they are entitled to hand outs


Take care of your own family
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22161671


If we got rid of these hand outs we could take care of the little old lady:

Corporate Welfare hand outs
Big Oil Hand outs
Big bank TAPR Bailouts hand outs
Military Industrial Complex hand outs
Imperialist war and corporate and military contractor hand outs
Tax break hand outs to the wealthiest Americans, including capital and dividend tax cuts
Big Pharma hand outs
Government Toy Hand Outs (we spend 2 billion on super imporatant hypersonic technoligies in the last few years).
Cush Government Job hand outs (there's probably about ten million).