Medicare And My Mother

Here's what I think. Why keep someone from dying? Why try and squeeze a year or two more when obviously they can't do much for themselves. Get over the fear of dying\losing a loved one. Life goes on.

Sorry to tell you this but there will be a point at which your mother has no choice.

Her health will fail as she gets older ...

It is a good time now to sit her down and have a chat about it all....

She seems very filled with pride.

She is not ready to go. Her family members generally live until well into their 90's, and her one aunt was 103 when she died. Long life genes, I guess.

My brothers have tried the apartment deal in a retirement community, and she refused.


we have yet to broach that topic....

a prideful person used to their independence

sounds very familiar

You can continue to whine if you like but I AM that home health nurse and these cuts were made three years ago. I thought you were screaming about entitlements? Make up your fucking mind. BTW, just so the FACTS are out there, yes, the cuts in Medicare have come and mostly to my industry. But, what did you expect? You are her family, it's not up to the rest of us to pay for your Mom's full time nanny. That's the family's job, yes it is difficult but look around, thousands of folks like yourself are now responsible for children and parents, get a grip. Start supporting your local Council o Aging, look up what services they offer, get the help of a MSW, they can help you find services you did not know were available. Then, stop blaming Obama for every fucking thing wrong with your life, grow the fuck up.

I'm in a similar situation. My parents need assisted living, but in the fine print, you do have to agree to deed over the house. They don't want to leave home, but Medicare won't pay for anything but personal hygiene care. My folks need more help than this. I drive up every couple of days to cook, clean, take them to appointments, ect. I raise my family & care for them too.

This is sad: It's not uncommon, that an elderly partner will divorce the other (who's more medically fragile) so the house is not taken, and the partner can go on Medicaid and receive more care than what Medicare offers.

sell your mothers house, and build a room on your house for her. Take care of her.

It's not the governments problem to take care of your family.

Whats wrong with people.

I know people in my church who have taken eldery people to live in their home to help them out. Until they are too sick to live at home or are a danger (starting fires or leaving to freeze to death outside) to themselves or children in your home, YOU should take care of your family.

Thats what life is all about.
Taking care of each other.

Take care of your mother.

The jig is up pal, you can spout that kind of stuff all you want, meanwhile 70% of the vehicles parked in front of our Local and Childrens Hospitals license say BAJA! The whole system is rout with corruption, no way to fix it regardless of ideas or finger pointing.

As of August 1st, Medicare drastically cut their covered services. As reported on the news, BILLIONS of dollars have been removed from the Medicare fund, and used for obamacare.

Here is how it affects my mother;

My mother is 89, and doing pretty good overall until earlier this year. She had a pacemaker put in, and subsequently developed congestive heart failure. She is now on oxygen 24/7. She probably only has 1-2 years left max, maybe less, because of the congestive heart failure. As of August 1st, her medicare coverage was drastically reduced, as it was also for millions of other people. She previously had a Therapist come in 1 day a week, a Nurse 2 days a week for a couple of hours, and a Home Health Aid for 2 hours, 2 days a week.Due to the medicare cuts, all she has now is the Nurse for 1 hour once a week, and the Home Health Aid for 2 hours, once a week. Myself, and one of my older brothers live relatively close by. We stop by frequently to her home(yes, she still lives in her own home), and check on her, cut the grass, rake the leaves, trim the bushes, take out garbage,do her laundry, etc.
We really depended on the medical professionals to fill in the gaps, and now they have been taken away almost entirely. We are in a horrible situation.My mother is deteriorating, refuses to live with anyone, and her medical help is down to almost nothing.
Financially, no one can really afford to hire a full time person to stay with my mother. Thanks to obamacare and the raid of the medicare fund, we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. We cannot afford to hire someone to stay with her full time. We do not want to put her in a nursing home, as there is no doubt she will not last there longer than a couple of months. IF we put her in a nursing home, medicaid would kick in and cover it, after we sold her house and the proceeds of the sale were used up. She doesn't want to leave her home.
I wonder how many other children of the elderly are now in the same situation as us?

My wife asked me if me if her mother 80s could come and live with us if Gramps got to sick (he 90 will die of cancer very soon 1-2y ) I said absolutely NO. They figured the system would take care of them, nursing home insurance govt pension, double dipper etc. So they made up a will which ensured the kids each would get 4.76% of the assets of the sale price of the estate. That includes 14 people with equal shares and 3 kids equal shares who shouldn't be included at all.

I said to hell with that. I'm not a home for old liberals pigs ... frack them. They can go Obamacare to the grave, or provide young surgeons in training practice.

The me me me generation finally getting what they deserve.

They threw their kids away, now over the cliff with them.

Ya'll may not feel that way now but give it time ....

We have talked to her doctors, and to a Social Worker. Unless my mother is deemed incompetant, there is nothing we can do.

ME - please e-mail me at [email protected]. I am almost about to lose my job due to caring for my parents. Then we are shit out of luck. I have no bro or sis to help. No one. I am a freelance writer on the side and I'm writing an article about this. PLEASE send me a private e-mail - I don't need to know your identity I just want to go over the facts of your situation. NO ONE is talking about this stuff.

My wife asked me if me if her mother 80s could come and live with us if Gramps got to sick (he 90 will die of cancer very soon 1-2y ) I said absolutely NO. They figured the system would take care of them, nursing home insurance govt pension, double dipper etc. So they made up a will which ensured the kids each would get 4.76% of the assets of the sale price of the estate. That includes 14 people with equal shares and 3 kids equal shares who shouldn't be included at all.

I said to hell with that. I'm not a home for old liberals pigs ... frack them. They can go Obamacare to the grave, or provide young surgeons in training practice.

The me me me generation finally getting what they deserve.

They threw their kids away, now over the cliff with them.

Ya'll may not feel that way now but give it time ....

Maybe not know but in the future ; at some point her health will fail further and you will be forced to do something...

she will NOT be able to prevent it.

I use to work as a nurse case manager

so I know what the PROGRESSION of these things look like

Someone in the family NEEDS to sit down calmly with her....someone she trusts and talk with her about

Death, and dying...

She maybe ok now but in a year or two??

things will change. She is at that age when things happen

SUDDENLY

Make sure she has a Living will in place; a power of attorney

These things are difficult but NEED to be talked about

If you don't have a living will in place or a power of attorney and she should take a turn for the worse

things can happen that you don't want to happen

just sayin'

With what's coming down the pike I really doubt that there will be any medicare or medicaid a few years from now. We have hundreds of trillions in debt that will never be repaid.

One of my older brothers, who is retired, and myself, are doing our best to take care of her. We take her to her doctor appointments, do some cleaning, laundry, food, etc.

My Dad died at age 65. My mother has been widowed for 24 years. You are right about medicaid. They cover a lot of services, much more than medicare. My mother is about $100 a month over the threshold for medicaid. :(

She is not ready to go. Her family members generally live until well into their 90's, and her one aunt was 103 when she died. Long life genes, I guess.

Any chance your dad was a veteran? If he served active duty during certain time periods, your mom is eligible for a benefit called aide and attendence. That would pay for in home care.

"She had a pacemaker put in, and subsequently developed congestive heart failure. She is now on oxygen 24/7."


They = not her.

Yes

THIS

since when is it someone else's responsibility to take care of someone's family??

100 years ago people did it automatically

Why is it everyone in this country feels ENTITLED in some way?

The elderly think it is someone's responsibility to take care of them....

The poor think they are entitled to hand outs


Take care of your own family

We feel entitled because the government keeps taking and taking and taking until there is nothing left. Now, if you have a decent insurance policy, they are going to tax that by 40%. Sometimes I just think the government wants society to fail. Everything THEY do is a failure.

But to answer your question, take a look at the deductions on your paycheck then YOU tell ME why we look to government. A portion of your payroll taxes go to fund Medicare; what part of that don't you understand? If they'd keep their friggin' hands out of our pockets, we could afford things like long-term care insurance, etc.

ME - please e-mail me at [email protected]. I am almost about to lose my job due to caring for my parents. Then we are shit out of luck. I have no bro or sis to help. No one. I am a freelance writer on the side and I'm writing an article about this. PLEASE send me a private e-mail - I don't need to know your identity I just want to go over the facts of your situation. NO ONE is talking about this stuff.

We feel entitled because the government keeps taking and taking and taking until there is nothing left. Now, if you have a decent insurance policy, they are going to tax that by 40%. Sometimes I just think the government wants society to fail. Everything THEY do is a failure.

But to answer your question, take a look at the deductions on your paycheck then YOU tell ME why we look to government. A portion of your payroll taxes go to fund Medicare; what part of that don't you understand? If they'd keep their friggin' hands out of our pockets, we could afford things like long-term care insurance, etc.