Medicare And My Mother

She pays for it. Talk to the medicaid crowd about the use of your money.They do not pay 1 thin dime.

When you get old you need to think what is best for others. I wouldn't put my kids out or have unreasonable demands on them. My daughter has already said I will live with her. Whatever makes it easiest on my kids is what I will do.

LOL you idiots it will be worse under rommney LOLOLOLOL

I wish you the best. This all is not easy.

But she is making this choice by being unreasonable. You and your siblings have opened your homes to her. And if she cannot accept that then her death would be on her hands. There is only so much you can do with someone who is being foolish.

Medicare is not free, and she has no assets other than her small house. I pay my bills, do you pay yours?

It really doesn't matter who is elected. TPTB decide what is going to happen.

That's the thing too. So many families easily adapt to throwing mom or dad in a nursing home. One lady I work with who considers herself 'caring for her mother' by dumping her in a nursing home told me the other day how she can't stand to visit the place! She tried to get in and out quickly. And everyone lauds her as the perfect daughter!

We aren't those kind of folks. We are VERY close and they have lived with me for years. If one is separated from the others, they will die. I know this. Still, my mother says no matter what we do as children, we will still have guilt, it's the nature of the situation. Even if we do everything right. She's 78 and sharp as a tack but has developed medical problems. Wish you could talk to her OP. ;)

Yeah, guess you haven't seen the statistics on the amount of doctors that are already, and will be - closing up shop. And the hospitals that will be closing. That WILL NOT happen under Romney. Not one person in the House or Senate voted for Obama's last bill. Do you even follow what's going on? Romney/Ryan are not our saviors, we know that, we're not children, but there IS a stark contrast between their ideology and Obama's.

Look at Obama - LYING LYING LYING saying Ryan's plan will END MEDICARE AS WE KNOW IT. It won't even TOUCH anyone currently receiving Medicare or approaching Medicare. Vouchers are for the Gen Xer's and below. My boss is a millionaire and he gets a Medicare check! You don't opt out you know. Ryan's plan would allow people a CHOICE to go about Medicare as usual or get that money back to invest in a lump sum to invest as they want to gamble with it. This is a GREAT idea and will take those people out of the system, like my boss, and leave money there for the poorer people who DO need it, like my parents.

It is not easy, and unfortunately, in these situations all you can do is hoop jump the best you can. With my mother, in WV, it was easy. Social workers did the work. Mother in law, in KY, it was...my God it was horrible, frustrating, infuriating. My last suggestion is...and again Im sure it is state dependent, setting up a trust. Im not sure what your state calls it, but theyre eligibility trusts, income cap trusts, something like that...assuming becoming medicaid eligible would allow more in home care. I hate this for you, but at least you are doing the best you can. It doesn't ease the pain or frustration short term, but I think regrets later on are much harder to live with.

And THANK YOU for posting. I was ignorant about what obamacare had done to the elerly, and now know I need to talk to my grandmother, to see if she is affected. Fortunately at ninety she's still pretty active and healthy, but...now that my moms gone, I need to get better informed, for her. So thank you.

No, it is not the truth. Like I already said I have a daughter I will move in with. Or if things change I will check myself into a nursing home. I will not become a burden on anyone. And I am not attached to my house or stuff. I have lived a good life and want the young people to live one as well. But many old people don't think like that. It is always about them when it should be what is best for all involved.

My Dad, who died at age 65, was in a nursing home for a little over a year before he died. He had an enlarged heart, emphysema and dementia. When he tried to kill my mother, there was no choice but to put him into a nursing home. He got to the point of uncontrollable. Even at the nursing home, he was violent. He attacked other patients, and tried to strangle me one time when I came to visit him. He did not know what he was doing. It still made it very difficult for all of us. I wanted my Dad the way he was, not what he became.

I am falling asleep at my computer. I had better go to bed. I will pick this up tomorrow. Thank you, everyone, who has contributed to this discussion.

They are going for their one world government no matter who is elected.

tiger1, please send me an e-mail when you can. Seriously would like to talk offline. There are so many of us out here.

also, anyone else who can relay these Medicare stories and what is happening to their loved one, I would like to hear from too.

Eventually, the Bible says that will happen - so I agree. But my parents are alive NOW and we fight for every day. Fighting means getting OBAMA out of office ASAP.

But then one problem is just replace with another. And that is how it will go until they get the one world government. Remember they ALL lie. And why fight what the Bible says is inevitable? Don't get yourself worked up over presidents who really don't matter.

Ty, i honestly cant believe it took that many posts for someone to say this. I feel bad for your situation, however at the end of the day its you who will decide how you and your mothers future will pan out. Although it is defiantly mostly partly the goverments fault for your predicament, I have found dwelling on other peoples involvement in my problems is not as productive or easy as dwelling on my own involvement that could have improved my situation.

Just a thought.
If possible ,take a home equity loan on her house,
have an addition put on yours or other sibling.
(the addition would be private) although using main homes utilities.Move her in,
sell her house, pay off loan.
Use her SS ck and any spare income not used for her necessities to pay someone to come in when most
needed. Shop around there are a lot of people looking
for work.
Her money that is not used for the upkeep of her home will also be available.
Make up a schedule where the rest of the family has certain predetermined times to fill in and share the responsibility.

You seem to be in a different situation than the others that are talking. It is one thing when the aged parents have money, and are not nice people, it is another when the aged parent doesn't have the money to hire someone and are loved by their families.

In my family we have enough people to help with an mom who is 90, but she finally moved in with one of my sisters. We love our mom.

If his mother would sell her place and go live with one of the kids the problem would be solved. But she is stubborn and the kids won't put their foot down. That is the real problem. So they are just going to have to run themselves ragged for a woman who shouldn't be living by herself at her age with her health problems. But hey, I have got my own mom under control. They need get their mom under control as well. But some people just like to complain and feel sorry for themselves instead of putting their foot down and moving mom in with them because that is the right thing to do and she will see that soon enough.

And you claim to be a christian.Change your stupid name to scrump the antichrist whore already.

That is good that your mom finally saw the light and did what was best. Some moms need more coaxing though.

Sorry for your delimma OP but it seems to me you have no say in the matter, your going to have to be cruel to be kind, your mum is not well and can't look after herself she's going to have to move in with you there's no way out of that if you don't want to put her in a nursing home, don't give her an option tell her she has to move in with you otherwise if she has an accident and hurts herself or worse you'll blame yourself for not doing it.

He says she won't move from her house. So unless she changes her mind(or they apply tough love) there really isn't anything he can do but complain.

Yup

Oh man.

Im not exactly sure, but doesnt she pay for some of it? Not some of the actual medicare, but some of the money needed for her treatment, you were talking about some big bucks there and i know medicare is running up huge deficits.

This is partly because of two things, one all the people with special disability's using medicare, and two the ridiculous high costs that are associated with the last one-two years of someones life.

Whatever the case may be sitting back and pointing fingers anywhere except to yourself wont get you anywhere.

At this point try 600mg a day of Q10. If it doesn't fix the edema. . . You can buy Q10 at Costco they sell 300s so she only needs 2 a day.

If we got rid of these hand outs we could take care of the little old lady:

Corporate Welfare hand outs
Big Oil Hand outs
Big bank TAPR Bailouts hand outs
Military Industrial Complex hand outs
Imperialist war and corporate and military contractor hand outs
Tax break hand outs to the wealthiest Americans, including capital and dividend tax cuts
Big Pharma hand outs
Government Toy Hand Outs (we spend 2 billion on super imporatant hypersonic technoligies in the last few years).
Cush Government Job hand outs (there's probably about ten million).