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My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next

 
seer

User ID: 1529717
United States
08/26/2012 01:09 AM

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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
sister- i suggest you get a job or start a home business. this obviously is not working for him.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22509899
United States
08/26/2012 01:12 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
all over bullshit money basatards.. are refusing to step down.

human life and values are worth less..
dugech

User ID: 22589968
United States
08/26/2012 02:48 AM

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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Here is a link for several different reliable work-at-home jobs. Each one has different criteria to meet as far as your operating system of your computer, so look at that before applying.

I used to work for one called Cloud 10 and they were very good to work for. When I left I was making $10.25 an hour, didn't have to leave home, buy gas, go out to eat, hire a babysitter, buy work clothes, etc.

The savings made up for the pay.

It's worth a try.

[link to www.worldwideworkathome.com]
SaveAmericaFightNWO

User ID: 19096721
United States
08/26/2012 05:59 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Hang in there. You don't want him back if that's how he reacted when he found out you were pregnant and if he throws things at you.

Plenty of classier men in the world.

Also, he's a banister.
 Quoting: Rambaldi


Bad advice, he did not cheat on her, he walked out to cool off, obviously.

Just cause there's many men out there, doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to stay and work it out, cause there's a good chance they can make it work, it's just money for god's sake, not the end of the world.

Move to the country, buy heirloom seeds, non-gmo, start your ranch/farm.

Many things that can help in this designed-to-make-us-fail system, leaving your man when he's hurting the most, is not the answer.
 Quoting: SaveAmericaFightNWO


He is already displaying abusive behavior and she is suppose to stay by his side because he needs her? WTH are you smoking?
 Quoting: CatBTX


You don't know the whole story, one person's "oh he's abusive" is someone's "I can't believe how many lies she's telling me right now"

You don't judge a conversation just by listening to 20 seconds of an hour long conversation.

She claims he's abusive, to what ends is does she mean by abusive? I told my ex/gf that I was against vaccines, yet was called abusive, for just putting it out there that I didn't want my son vaccinated, I didn't yell, I just talked to her about it, so she would call me abusive, while she was actually physically abusing my son and emotionally/psychologically abusing me.. that's an example.
"what would you do if you, knew all the things we knew. Would you stand up for truth, or would you turn and walk away"
SaveAmericaFightNWO

User ID: 19096721
United States
08/26/2012 06:01 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Screaming in your face whilst feeding a baby? Why would you want a man like that in your life? Is that the kind of role model you want for your child?

I'm happily a single mum. Will never allow a man to treat me that way again. Sure it's tough but you find a way to mange and be the best mother you can be. If I can do it with no family or friends around to help, then so can you. My ex pays child support of $1.013 a day, so I work and grow my own veg, do whatever it takes to provide a good home for my child. It takes a while to really start thriving but is so empowering. Do you really wanna live life as a victim?

I'd suggest getting in touch with your local support services - domestic violence, housing, whatever is relevant to your situation and available in your area. I actually found 1 police officer that gave me some really helpful info and put me onto a dv group that helped when others had not. If this is a case of dv, learn more about dv, the types, why men do it etc. *virtual hug* you can do whatever it takes to keep you and your child safe and happy.
 Quoting: jarrahtree


typical feminist, did you forget the part that the husband left due to the stress SHE WAS PUTTING ON HIM?!

IDIOTS!
"what would you do if you, knew all the things we knew. Would you stand up for truth, or would you turn and walk away"
hcc
CatRWall

User ID: 6493463
United States
08/26/2012 06:04 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Hopefully he is like my husband and will come home in a few hours when he's calmed down.
 Quoting: alexisj9


I hope so, but he's accusing me of 'checking out'. I asked him, 'is this it?' Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because he turned on me and started yelling at me. When we first found out I was pregnant his response was 'so I guess you got what you wanted.' He didn't even look at me. Over the course of the pregnancy, if I got even a little upset, he would get in my face and scream at me. Finger pointing, spit flying, everything. We went to counseling for about 2 months and then he quit going. Our son was born and the finances really got tight and during our 'discussion', even while I was nursing, he would get in my face and scream at me. A couple of months ago he threw a broom at me but luckily it hit the door frame to the hallway (hard enough to bend it).
I've got tired of the behavior and started harping on him all of the time. I'm not blameless here either, but I never did anything like he did. I tried to sit on his suit case to prevent him from leaving (stupid, yes) and he picked it up and threw me off of it.
He said he's not going to pay child support, he doesn't care about me, all of this nasty stuff.
 Quoting: Boudicca


Based on this description, you're better off without him.
How can someone tolerate behavior like his? How can someone want him to come back? Isn't it stressful being in a household like that. Or did you grow up in a household like that. If so you are doomed.

If it was me I'd be so far gone when he came back he'd never find me. Me and my son. GTFO of that man's life and find yourself a new one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22481746
United Kingdom
08/26/2012 06:05 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Maybe it's for the best?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9014106
Australia
08/26/2012 06:08 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Screaming in your face whilst feeding a baby? Why would you want a man like that in your life? Is that the kind of role model you want for your child?

I'm happily a single mum. Will never allow a man to treat me that way again. Sure it's tough but you find a way to mange and be the best mother you can be. If I can do it with no family or friends around to help, then so can you. My ex pays child support of $1.013 a day, so I work and grow my own veg, do whatever it takes to provide a good home for my child. It takes a while to really start thriving but is so empowering. Do you really wanna live life as a victim?

I'd suggest getting in touch with your local support services - domestic violence, housing, whatever is relevant to your situation and available in your area. I actually found 1 police officer that gave me some really helpful info and put me onto a dv group that helped when others had not. If this is a case of dv, learn more about dv, the types, why men do it etc. *virtual hug* you can do whatever it takes to keep you and your child safe and happy.
 Quoting: jarrahtree


typical feminist, did you forget the part that the husband left due to the stress SHE WAS PUTTING ON HIM?!

IDIOTS!
 Quoting: SaveAmericaFightNWO


She was 'putting him through stress' by reminding him budgeting to pay for electricity may be a good idea, rather than having the power cut off - as had happened/been happening.

I understand you think dying of starvation and going without necessities 'without nagging' is the correct way for a mother and her 2 year to live, but personally, I tend to feel the guy was an absolute jerk and loser.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15030519
United States
08/26/2012 06:11 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Just wanted to send to the OP. hf

No matter what, complete that course at school!
God bless you. :)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1077811
Australia
08/26/2012 06:13 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
that's cos ur a fatass.

and u didn't give him no sex.

that's my i left my ex.

no sex = ex.

that's the mathematical forumula.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22481746
United Kingdom
08/26/2012 06:14 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
that's cos ur a fatass.

and u didn't give him no sex.

that's my i left my ex.

no sex = ex.

that's the mathematical forumula.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1077811


I thought she got a puncture?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16069571
United States
08/26/2012 06:16 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
two things:

dude sounds like a loser who needs time to self reflect.

most women have a talent for not knowing to STFU because their man is not having a good day.


if you see you're husband come home stressed out, DON'T BE A DUMBASS and start pelting him with relentless questions about how his day was and "what's wrong". Women like to vocalise their feelings and men don't. The smart thing to do would be to stay quiet, help him get comfortable and give him a bj or something. If you are a source of comfort instead of nagging and complaining he will appreciate you much more.
Philligan
in rainbows

User ID: 7078441
United States
08/26/2012 06:23 AM

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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
OP if you run out of money and have nowhere to turn I can western union you $50. Just send me a PM

No matter how hard you squeeze sand you won't get oil. It sounds like your husband might not change. But any decision is ultimately up to you
everything in its right place
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22115160
Canada
08/26/2012 06:26 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Hopefully he is like my husband and will come home in a few hours when he's calmed down.
 Quoting: alexisj9


I hope so, but he's accusing me of 'checking out'. I asked him, 'is this it?' Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because he turned on me and started yelling at me. When we first found out I was pregnant his response was 'so I guess you got what you wanted.' He didn't even look at me. Over the course of the pregnancy, if I got even a little upset, he would get in my face and scream at me. Finger pointing, spit flying, everything. We went to counseling for about 2 months and then he quit going. Our son was born and the finances really got tight and during our 'discussion', even while I was nursing, he would get in my face and scream at me. A couple of months ago he threw a broom at me but luckily it hit the door frame to the hallway (hard enough to bend it).
I've got tired of the behavior and started harping on him all of the time. I'm not blameless here either, but I never did anything like he did. I tried to sit on his suit case to prevent him from leaving (stupid, yes) and he picked it up and threw me off of it.
He said he's not going to pay child support, he doesn't care about me, all of this nasty stuff.
 Quoting: Boudicca


You are married to an asshole. Be glad that he left. Change the locks, get a restraining order, divorce, and chile support.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21346179
United States
08/26/2012 06:33 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
sounds like the guy is a lost cause. So sad really. The lack of a loving reaction when you got pregnant, unless he shows affection I wouldn't stay with him 'just because' .... I have so much to provide and would love to have a family but with a certain health issue I have that makes me insecure around women I probably never will have this opportunity, and guys like him who have it throw it away over pussy or whatever, especially to have a woman that actually knows how to clean, cook, and exercise! Even more baffling. He probably just wants you to get a job of your own, it sounds like. He resents being the primary source of income.

Me I have no immediate plans to go back to school. My job could support a family with a woman who is cheap enough to not need new SUVs every 2 years and a new house, so that's good enough for me but probably will not happen anyways so the money will just pile up and I'll invest it.


Good luck.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10743136
United States
08/26/2012 06:34 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
maybe you stressed him out really bad , so he left to find some strange.

just saying....
 Quoting: SealsofSeven


I would agree with the stressed him out really bad, not all of my fault but some of it is.
The thing is, he's really weird about sex. He's super self-conscious and the girl he dated prior to me kept cheating on him and he took it!
Lately he's been wanting to get into more S&M stuff and so I'm not sure if he'd be able to perform for a stranger. I wouldn't want him back if he slept with someone else.
 Quoting: Boudicca


That sux, Doesnt sound too promising

Ladies, stay away from the nerds and the wanna be yuppies, They always have sexual kinks and are super obsessed with money.

Get yourself a good home grown, farm boy or midwesterner that likes flea markets and fairs and comedies..

Ive never freaked out like that on my woman, never yelled at her about money, never had sexual perversions. I get by appreciating Gods green earth, and my dream vacation is at my fishing cabin near the lakes . As long as I have a sound roof over my head, good food. loving wife, What more is there to ask for?..
 Quoting: APOLLO ILLUMINIST


THIS!!! Seriously, throwing stuff at you and the emotional abuse and verbal abuse you are going through? Honey, this kind of behavior statistically escalates to physical abuse. The sexual perversions should raise a few red flags too.

Google emotional and verbal abuse because at the very least that is what you are going through and read....and read and read. THEN make a decision.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3788465
Japan
08/26/2012 06:35 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
He will come back.
I'd say get a part time job for the hours when he is at home ( assuming he comes home at 6pm) you could work while he is home. Or the weekends. Or there are many things to do from home as well. It takes two. I'm a sahm too, and preggo with number two, and I know that being s sahm can be a lot of work but sometimes you can put off a few chores or cook ahead to do a part time job. You can make it work. No sense in fighting over it.
Judethz
Israel is Eternal

User ID: 20521597
United Kingdom
08/26/2012 06:41 AM

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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Too bad breakfast and dinner don't provide an income.


Clean less; get a part-time job.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11696035


blackcat That sounds like an idea, you get a change of scenery and some extra income. I hope things work out for all of you. hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22496471
United States
08/26/2012 06:58 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Hopefully he is like my husband and will come home in a few hours when he's calmed down.
 Quoting: alexisj9


I hope so, but he's accusing me of 'checking out'. I asked him, 'is this it?' Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because he turned on me and started yelling at me. When we first found out I was pregnant his response was 'so I guess you got what you wanted.' He didn't even look at me. Over the course of the pregnancy, if I got even a little upset, he would get in my face and scream at me. Finger pointing, spit flying, everything. We went to counseling for about 2 months and then he quit going. Our son was born and the finances really got tight and during our 'discussion', even while I was nursing, he would get in my face and scream at me. A couple of months ago he threw a broom at me but luckily it hit the door frame to the hallway (hard enough to bend it).
I've got tired of the behavior and started harping on him all of the time. I'm not blameless here either, but I never did anything like he did. I tried to sit on his suit case to prevent him from leaving (stupid, yes) and he picked it up and threw me off of it.
He said he's not going to pay child support, he doesn't care about me, all of this nasty stuff.
 Quoting: Boudicca


Why do the idiots always... ALWAYS... have to reproduce??
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22496471
United States
08/26/2012 07:01 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
got any pics of yourself?

Plenty of nice guys here to swoop in and save you



Your husband has a classic case of He's Banging a Hotter co-worker right now who convinced him to leave you syndrome

What does he do for a living? This has cheat written all over it. He was just waiting for an out and he took it!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21300769


What? Are you kidding?

This has NAG written all over it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22496471
United States
08/26/2012 07:06 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
verysad do you want him back?
 Quoting: Lilac.Nights


Your avatar made me laugh!

I don't know; I think it's turning into a very unhealthy home for our son.

He's never full out hit me, grabbed my hair, anything like that...but he has thrown stuff at me and lately he's been very verbally abusive.
 Quoting: Boudicca


If he is being abusive, it is good he has left. You don't need the grief, and your son doesn't need to see his father act like a jerk towards women. As for not paying child support, as long as he has a paycheck, the money will be taken out if he likes it or not.
What one of the other posters said, could be the truth. He has got someone on the side, and this is his out.
I really think, if he doesn't come home by monday morning, is to see a lawyer. If you have no money for a lawyer, contact legal aid. IF your husband comes home, and starts verbally abusing you, and starts to throw things at you AGAIN, call the police. Don't be a victim, be a victor in this difficult situation.
 Quoting: tiger1




I just LOVE the way people dish out this kind of advice, after having heard exactly ONE HALF of the story.

I often wonder just how many marriages and relationships have been destroyed by an angry upset woman, spouting off to her friends, or in this case, total strangers on the internet.

The man never even has HIS side told.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22623195
India
08/26/2012 07:08 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
I'm sure he will be back. You sound like an ideal wife so he would be stupid to leave you. Sometimes finances can cause some real problems. Especially for men. We want to provide for our familes and when we can't give them everything we want them to have we feel as if we are failing or letting our family down.

If you are giving him hell over finances this will just make things worse. He won't be mad at you really. He will be more mad at himself that he can't make you happy and give you everything you want.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10729761


surprising to find good and sane people on glp.....really surprised
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22115160
Canada
08/26/2012 07:09 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
verysad do you want him back?
 Quoting: Lilac.Nights


Your avatar made me laugh!

I don't know; I think it's turning into a very unhealthy home for our son.

He's never full out hit me, grabbed my hair, anything like that...but he has thrown stuff at me and lately he's been very verbally abusive.
 Quoting: Boudicca


If he is being abusive, it is good he has left. You don't need the grief, and your son doesn't need to see his father act like a jerk towards women. As for not paying child support, as long as he has a paycheck, the money will be taken out if he likes it or not.
What one of the other posters said, could be the truth. He has got someone on the side, and this is his out.
I really think, if he doesn't come home by monday morning, is to see a lawyer. If you have no money for a lawyer, contact legal aid. IF your husband comes home, and starts verbally abusing you, and starts to throw things at you AGAIN, call the police. Don't be a victim, be a victor in this difficult situation.
 Quoting: tiger1




I just LOVE the way people dish out this kind of advice, after having heard exactly ONE HALF of the story.

I often wonder just how many marriages and relationships have been destroyed by an angry upset woman, spouting off to her friends, or in this case, total strangers on the internet.

The man never even has HIS side told.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22496471


If what the OP says is true then when he said...quoting the OP "He said he's not going to pay child support, he doesn't care about me, all of this nasty stuff."

There is NO side to his story. He is a fucking idiot and does not deserve a wife nor a child. He is an abusive loser.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22571972
Australia
08/26/2012 07:09 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
do you have a smart meter?

if so the electromagnetic radiation from them reduces testosterone which creatss side effects in men... namely depression anger, irrationalism, and basically everything that is bad .... becuase of the testosterone reduction ..
Miggy

User ID: 17372810
United States
08/26/2012 11:08 AM

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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Here is a link for several different reliable work-at-home jobs. Each one has different criteria to meet as far as your operating system of your computer, so look at that before applying.

I used to work for one called Cloud 10 and they were very good to work for. When I left I was making $10.25 an hour, didn't have to leave home, buy gas, go out to eat, hire a babysitter, buy work clothes, etc.

The savings made up for the pay.

It's worth a try.

[link to www.worldwideworkathome.com]
 Quoting: dugech


Dugech, thank you for bringing this up.

I was hired the last part of April for a local telephone call center in the small city where I live.

Training was supposed to begin the first week of June. One week before the client using the call center "postponed".

I was already surprised this company was still open. It's been here over 20 years but when I walked in and saw 300 cubicles with only 50 occupied, well...

So I kept searching but told them I would still be interested in their next training and sure enough they called me and told me to prepare for training the first week of August.

Sure enough, a week beforehand they called again and said the class had been postponed.

Then about a week later the head company called and offered me the same job but doing so from my home.

I was elated!

Unfortunately I was in the middle of moving and I needed a permanent location where I could install a land line ($100?) by a headphone, etc.

In the mean time they actually DID announce the call center in my town is shutting down (my family's like, "WOW! How did you know? Spooky!"

I need to call them this week to see if there are any openings but it makes sense they would offer these jobs to the ones they have just laid off.

But tell me, can you choose your hours? For instance I am really committed to my church on Sundays and Wednesdays.

Otherwisethis sounds like an IDEAL job for me since I don't have a 5-day-week professional wardrobe any longer and not much gasoline in the car to drive far.

Is there any (other than the Cloud) you've checked out?

Thank you so much for this.


B- I'm sorry I interrupted your thread and hope your husband cooled down last night.

Is there anyone around to take you on errands since he took the car with him?

And maybe you can check into this work at home program to earn a little money while you STAY in school.

Sweetie, you are SO close! May is just around the corner.

Think how much better you'll feel, knowing you did it on your OWN!

Love to you, Miggy
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22094293
United States
08/26/2012 11:12 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
First Things First Get the Hell off glp and make certain your kid is getting attention and be there for him! Then get with folks you know locally and ask them. Strangers on glp are not going to be your go-to! As on freaky friday...You do not need a man to complete you. (Tough Love here darlin')
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22094293
United States
08/26/2012 11:14 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Hopefully he is like my husband and will come home in a few hours when he's calmed down.
 Quoting: alexisj9


I hope so, but he's accusing me of 'checking out'. I asked him, 'is this it?' Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because he turned on me and started yelling at me. When we first found out I was pregnant his response was 'so I guess you got what you wanted.' He didn't even look at me. Over the course of the pregnancy, if I got even a little upset, he would get in my face and scream at me. Finger pointing, spit flying, everything. We went to counseling for about 2 months and then he quit going. Our son was born and the finances really got tight and during our 'discussion', even while I was nursing, he would get in my face and scream at me. A couple of months ago he threw a broom at me but luckily it hit the door frame to the hallway (hard enough to bend it).
I've got tired of the behavior and started harping on him all of the time. I'm not blameless here either, but I never did anything like he did. I tried to sit on his suit case to prevent him from leaving (stupid, yes) and he picked it up and threw me off of it.
He said he's not going to pay child support, he doesn't care about me, all of this nasty stuff.
 Quoting: Boudicca


you can do better, he is not the amn for you
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/26/2012 11:15 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
verysad do you want him back?
 Quoting: Lilac.Nights


Your avatar made me laugh!

I don't know; I think it's turning into a very unhealthy home for our son.

He's never full out hit me, grabbed my hair, anything like that...but he has thrown stuff at me and lately he's been very verbally abusive.
 Quoting: Boudicca


I hope you get away and stay away from him. Right now my concern is if he reads this post how he will behave
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/26/2012 11:18 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Hang in there. You don't want him back if that's how he reacted when he found out you were pregnant and if he throws things at you.

Plenty of classier men in the world.

Also, he's a banister.
 Quoting: Rambaldi


Bad advice, he did not cheat on her, he walked out to cool off, obviously.

Just cause there's many men out there, doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to stay and work it out, cause there's a good chance they can make it work, it's just money for god's sake, not the end of the world.

Move to the country, buy heirloom seeds, non-gmo, start your ranch/farm.

Many things that can help in this designed-to-make-us-fail system, leaving your man when he's hurting the most, is not the answer.
 Quoting: SaveAmericaFightNWO


That's where I am at:
Do I leave while he's left me? He left me without the baby seat (he refused to leave it so that my parents could pick us up tomorrow) and now my son and I are kind of stuck at hom.
Do I stay and ignore everything that has happened? We've tried to work it out but he always backs down when it's his turn to concede. He's made really bad financial decisions that have left us with no money, $15 in total right now, and I've had his back, didn't say a word to protest though I knew they were bad ideas, and this is what he does when I do decide to stand up to him.
 Quoting: Boudicca


Bastard is playing with you and acting like a bg mean ape, making himself in control and taking it from you. I am not certain if you can but you need to end this relationship and get space between you.
Anonymous Coward
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08/26/2012 11:19 AM
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Re: My husband just left me and our son...don't know what to do next
Prepare for a significant life change...child support will not cover your total cost of living and you'll have to get a job...but you can do it if you are resolved.

Good luck...

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