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My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 148335
United States
08/27/2012 10:16 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
If this is true, few things to keep in mind.

1) You're a decent person, who has taken reasonable (arguably noble) measures to prepare yourself to be useful in a situation like this
2) You tried your best
3) People die
4) Extreme empathy and second guessing, while perhaps a symptom of a good soul, can be a liability when taken to a point of unproductive second-guessing. If you go there, it's to your detriment, so you really shouldn't linger there

Doesn't sound like there's much you could have done here. Go watch a stupid movie and laugh. You still have a life to enjoy, even though you couldn't magically bestow that gift back to your neighbor.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14596164
Canada
08/27/2012 10:16 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
This weekend my neighbor died. His little old wife came running in to our home asking for help. I ran over there, found him with out vital signs, hunched over his dining room table. They were just having dinner. His wife couldn't pick him up and place him on the floor and start CPR like the 911 report had told her. I some how managed to pick him up and place him on the floor and started compressions immediately. His face was already blue. I didn't stop CPR until after the paramedics arrived. I couldn't revive him. It is killing me.

Yes he had four prior heart attacks and a shot load of medical issues. I had just redone my CPR and first aid course and it didn't help. I just feel awful that I got there too late.

When does this crappy feeling go away?

verysad
 Quoting: CrazyMama73


You did all you could do, be proud that you knew CPR and that you tried your best, a lot of people have no training at all.
It was his time to go and no one could have saved him by the sounds of it.

It's a heart wrenching thing to go though and time will heal.
Just know that he knew you tried and he's greatful for it and just being there to support his wife in a time of need is wonderful thing in itself.

You did great OP!

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10856022
United States
08/27/2012 10:19 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
It was unevitable. Get over it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15515569


yes, and inevitable to boot.
A Friend

User ID: 22571841
United States
08/27/2012 10:20 AM

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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It must be very difficult for you now. I hope you can find solace in the fact that you could do CPR, that you were doing the best you could do in the situation you were in. Many don't even know CPR.

hf
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus

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fnecsm
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22580089
United Kingdom
08/27/2012 10:22 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It must be very difficult for you now. I hope you can find solace in the fact that you could do CPR, that you were doing the best you could do in the situation you were in. Many don't even know CPR.

hf
 Quoting: A Friend


British, but relevant!

[link to www.youtube.com]

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1405546
United States
08/27/2012 10:22 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
This weekend my neighbor died. His little old wife came running in to our home asking for help. I ran over there, found him with out vital signs, hunched over his dining room table. They were just having dinner. His wife couldn't pick him up and place him on the floor and start CPR like the 911 report had told her. I some how managed to pick him up and place him on the floor and started compressions immediately. His face was already blue. I didn't stop CPR until after the paramedics arrived. I couldn't revive him. It is killing me.

Yes he had four prior heart attacks and a shot load of medical issues. I had just redone my CPR and first aid course and it didn't help. I just feel awful that I got there too late.

When does this crappy feeling go away?

verysad
 Quoting: CrazyMama73


You would feel worse if you did nothing. You did everything right because you tried your best. What you are feeling is the natural remorse for the loss of life. Rejoice, he is past his ills and is made new again.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22580089
United Kingdom
08/27/2012 10:24 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It must be very difficult for you now. I hope you can find solace in the fact that you could do CPR, that you were doing the best you could do in the situation you were in. Many don't even know CPR.

hf
 Quoting: A Friend


British, but relevant!

[link to www.youtube.com]


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22580089


it actually worked in the USA, according to this comment on that vid..

'' for anything else, this advertisement has helped save at least 1 persons life - a woman collapsed at a Baseball game in the US - and a man saved her life with CPR singing along to "Stayin' Alive".

Jamie Poole 3 days ago ''
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22694723
India
08/27/2012 10:30 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
Sit in a quiet place.
Close your eyes.
Try to visualize the person who just died.
And think that wave after wave of peace
is engulping the person's soul.
Jynxx96

User ID: 15168337
United States
08/27/2012 10:31 AM

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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
This weekend my neighbor died. His little old wife came running in to our home asking for help. I ran over there, found him with out vital signs, hunched over his dining room table. They were just having dinner. His wife couldn't pick him up and place him on the floor and start CPR like the 911 report had told her. I some how managed to pick him up and place him on the floor and started compressions immediately. His face was already blue. I didn't stop CPR until after the paramedics arrived. I couldn't revive him. It is killing me.

Yes he had four prior heart attacks and a shot load of medical issues. I had just redone my CPR and first aid course and it didn't help. I just feel awful that I got there too late.

When does this crappy feeling go away?

verysad
 Quoting: CrazyMama73


Sorry OP
Time fixes most.all.
U were there alot wouldnt of.
Never regret anything,for at one time its exactly what you wanted
CrazyMama73 (OP)

User ID: 22659997
Canada
08/27/2012 10:37 AM

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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
This weekend my neighbor died. His little old wife came running in to our home asking for help. I ran over there, found him with out vital signs, hunched over his dining room table. They were just having dinner. His wife couldn't pick him up and place him on the floor and start CPR like the 911 report had told her. I some how managed to pick him up and place him on the floor and started compressions immediately. His face was already blue. I didn't stop CPR until after the paramedics arrived. I couldn't revive him. It is killing me.

Yes he had four prior heart attacks and a shot load of medical issues. I had just redone my CPR and first aid course and it didn't help. I just feel awful that I got there too late.

When does this crappy feeling go away?

verysad
 Quoting: CrazyMama73


Sorry OP
Time fixes most.all.
U were there alot wouldnt of.
 Quoting: Jynxx96


It never crossed my mind to not help. I couldn't imagine not helping someone who needed it.

I felt bad, when After the paramedics came and went, I came back home. My daughter asked what happened and I had told her. She said " I thought when you do CPR the person is saved, like in the movies". It was a big reality check for her.
CrazyMama73
CrazyMama73 (OP)

User ID: 22659997
Canada
08/27/2012 10:41 AM

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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
It does give me some comfort knowing I was there. We were supposed to have already been gone to an amusement park that day, but my tankless hot water system was giving us problems so I needed to stay home for the repair man to come and fix it. I guess it was meant to be.
CrazyMama73
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22622886
United States
08/27/2012 10:46 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
you're a good person, op
just remember, though
we all have an expiration date
it's in the stars
you will not go before
or after
but right on time
that's just the way it is
it was his time
we are here to live life
not fight against death
kwim?
if he was meant to live
then he would have
hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18558063
United States
08/27/2012 10:47 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
It does give me some comfort knowing I was there. We were supposed to have already been gone to an amusement park that day, but my tankless hot water system was giving us problems so I needed to stay home for the repair man to come and fix it. I guess it was meant to be.
 Quoting: CrazyMama73


You are an angel ... hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17670138
United States
08/27/2012 10:51 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
He was dead before you got there, his heart obviously stopped, and without a de fib machine, you can only keep blood circulating, not re start the electrical system on his heart.

It isn't your fault.

Take a deep breath and realize you did everything you could do.

You tried, and you have nothing to be ashamed about.
boilerbengal

User ID: 20613243
United States
08/27/2012 10:53 AM

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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
great job putting your skills to use. we take CPR/first aid training so that we can help. And you did. The outcome is allways in Gods hands anyway. alot of people would sit back frozen in confusion. You acted !! you are head and shoulders above the majority of people. much love to you..

hf
A Clear Choice Is Upon US.
Communists VS. Capitalists
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22638404
Denmark
08/27/2012 10:55 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
This weekend my neighbor died. His little old wife came running in to our home asking for help. I ran over there, found him with out vital signs, hunched over his dining room table. They were just having dinner. His wife couldn't pick him up and place him on the floor and start CPR like the 911 report had told her. I some how managed to pick him up and place him on the floor and started compressions immediately. His face was already blue. I didn't stop CPR until after the paramedics arrived. I couldn't revive him. It is killing me.

Yes he had four prior heart attacks and a shot load of medical issues. I had just redone my CPR and first aid course and it didn't help. I just feel awful that I got there too late.

When does this crappy feeling go away?

verysad
 Quoting: CrazyMama73


give it 3 month
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15215384
United States
08/27/2012 10:58 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
It's not your fault Op.
You were AWESOME at trying to save his life. This act will be counted forever as something special and good that you did in this life. It was your neighbor's time. Period. There is nothing that you could have done to save him if it is his time to go.

Be encouraged. His body is no longer in pain now.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18376798
United States
08/27/2012 11:06 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
You tried your best and that's all you could do. It was out of your hands. You cared enough to try. That's what's important. hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22690744
India
08/27/2012 11:07 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
till his next life he will be watching u
his soul will be watching u abduct
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6685296
United States
08/27/2012 11:10 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
This weekend my neighbor died. His little old wife came running in to our home asking for help. I ran over there, found him with out vital signs, hunched over his dining room table. They were just having dinner. His wife couldn't pick him up and place him on the floor and start CPR like the 911 report had told her. I some how managed to pick him up and place him on the floor and started compressions immediately. His face was already blue. I didn't stop CPR until after the paramedics arrived. I couldn't revive him. It is killing me.

Yes he had four prior heart attacks and a shot load of medical issues. I had just redone my CPR and first aid course and it didn't help. I just feel awful that I got there too late.

When does this crappy feeling go away?

 Quoting: CrazyMama73


If he was a sick as you say, he probably wouldn't have wanted to be revived.

After all, you're NOT God.





.
CrazyMama73 (OP)

User ID: 22659997
Canada
08/27/2012 11:16 AM

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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
This weekend my neighbor died. His little old wife came running in to our home asking for help. I ran over there, found him with out vital signs, hunched over his dining room table. They were just having dinner. His wife couldn't pick him up and place him on the floor and start CPR like the 911 report had told her. I some how managed to pick him up and place him on the floor and started compressions immediately. His face was already blue. I didn't stop CPR until after the paramedics arrived. I couldn't revive him. It is killing me.

Yes he had four prior heart attacks and a shot load of medical issues. I had just redone my CPR and first aid course and it didn't help. I just feel awful that I got there too late.

When does this crappy feeling go away?

 Quoting: CrazyMama73


If he was a sick as you say, he probably wouldn't have wanted to be revived.

After all, you're NOT God.





.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6685296


This weekend my neighbor died. His little old wife came running in to our home asking for help. I ran over there, found him with out vital signs, hunched over his dining room table. They were just having dinner. His wife couldn't pick him up and place him on the floor and start CPR like the 911 report had told her. I some how managed to pick him up and place him on the floor and started compressions immediately. His face was already blue. I didn't stop CPR until after the paramedics arrived. I couldn't revive him. It is killing me.

Yes he had four prior heart attacks and a shot load of medical issues. I had just redone my CPR and first aid course and it didn't help. I just feel awful that I got there too late.

When does this crappy feeling go away?

 Quoting: CrazyMama73


If he was a sick as you say, he probably wouldn't have wanted to be revived.

After all, you're NOT God.





.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6685296


Yes he was sick. His wife asked me to help, so I did. I am sure if he didn't want to be revived he would have mentioned it to his wife one of the many other times he was sent to the hospital for his health issues. I know I am not god, nor would I care to be.
CrazyMama73
gaton

User ID: 22690517
Poland
08/27/2012 11:18 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
You have been trying and done what was most appropriate in such situation. It was noble, it was decent, it was... GOOD!

WE ALL ADMIRE YOU!
hugs
Finally... negative public relations agency... [link to hitman.net84.net]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5161670
United Kingdom
08/27/2012 11:26 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
Similar situations have happened to my husband twice. He did all that he could but he couldn't revive the first person and the second person died later in hospital. You did your best. You made time to learn how to do CPR. You are obviously a good person and it's usually good people who feel bad. Eventually the bad feeling will go away but I don't think anybody can tell you how long it will take. Everybody should have a neighbour like you. God bless you for trying your best but sometimes there's nothing you can do no matter how hard you try.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8798818
United States
08/27/2012 11:45 AM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him


The crappy feeling goes away when you discard the fear that the calling you've followed is for naught.

Look to what drove you to enroll in and refresh your knowledge of CPR and first aid instead of the expectations you had leading you to question this outcome.

Keep your faith and trust yourself otherwise we might not get to read that thread about the life you do save hf
CrazyMama73 (OP)

User ID: 22659997
Canada
08/27/2012 02:22 PM

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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
Thank you everyone, for your kind words.

hf
CrazyMama73
yourAWonderfulPerson
User ID: 17594231
United States
08/27/2012 02:27 PM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
This weekend my neighbor died. His little old wife came running in to our home asking for help. I ran over there, found him with out vital signs, hunched over his dining room table. They were just having dinner. His wife couldn't pick him up and place him on the floor and start CPR like the 911 report had told her. I some how managed to pick him up and place him on the floor and started compressions immediately. His face was already blue. I didn't stop CPR until after the paramedics arrived. I couldn't revive him. It is killing me.

Yes he had four prior heart attacks and a shot load of medical issues. I had just redone my CPR and first aid course and it didn't help. I just feel awful that I got there too late.

When does this crappy feeling go away?

verysad
 Quoting: CrazyMama73


if only everyone had neighbors like you.....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20277007


^THIS^...Try not to be so hard on yourself, you did what you could hf
Blue Skies

User ID: 19168576
United States
08/27/2012 02:30 PM
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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
You tried.....Thats more than some people would do. You should be proud of yourself. You did nothing wrong. It was his time. hugs
:kitten on fence:
ScrumpTheTexan
-Controverter-

User ID: 10844865
United States
08/27/2012 02:32 PM

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Re: My neighbor died, I wasn't able to save him
That crappy feeling means your heart is big, and you value life, not just yours or your loved ones, any life.
 Quoting: Mwalk


^This^

God Bless you for trying Op.
I am a Christian.

Christian does not equal doormat or pushover.

SickOfItAll

"I Have Sworn upon the Altar of God... Eternal Hostility against every form of Tyranny over the mind of man." -Thomas Jefferson, Sep. 23, 1800

MedinaD
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