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Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)

 
Herman The Kid
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User ID: 17951882
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09/04/2012 05:06 PM
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Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
How did Hitler ties his shoelaces?

In little Nazis.
You m-m-m-muh-make me HAAA-PEEE.

Psalm 34:14 - Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.

Romans 5:8 - But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Anonymous Coward
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09/04/2012 05:06 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
Who touched my no no places when I was little?

My step father.
waterman

User ID: 21082139
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09/04/2012 05:10 PM

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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
how many jokes are too many jokes for this thread?
answer: 3 so far
-Heed the warning or endure the mourning
Favor ain't fair

[link to www.timeanddate.com]
[link to www.timeanddate.com]
Herman The Kid (OP)

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09/04/2012 05:13 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
how many jokes are too many jokes for this thread?
answer: 3 so far
 Quoting: waterman


Oh yeah,

A man went to a zoo that only had one dog as an exhibit.

It was a shih-tzu.
You m-m-m-muh-make me HAAA-PEEE.

Psalm 34:14 - Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.

Romans 5:8 - But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Anonymous Coward
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09/04/2012 05:14 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
My grandfather died in the Holocaust....

He fell out of his guard tower....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14905916
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09/04/2012 05:16 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
What flavor is that bread?

Rye.
institutionalized

User ID: 21503979
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09/04/2012 05:17 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
So there was this guy. He was mighty thirsty and wanted to quench his thirst at the saloon.

He pushed the swinging doors open, and stepped cross the threshold. His left foot got snagged on a nail sticking up.

The man fell...............................To his death!!!

Freak accident and all.
,./;'[]=-
Anonymous Coward
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09/04/2012 05:17 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
My grandfather died in the Holocaust....

He fell out of his guard tower....
 Quoting: DarbyDoom


I'm so sorry. What allied forces country was he fighting for? The US?
waterman

User ID: 21082139
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09/04/2012 05:18 PM

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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
how many jokes are too many jokes for this thread?
answer: 3 so far
 Quoting: waterman


Oh yeah,

A man went to a zoo that only had one dog as an exhibit.

It was a shih-tzu.
 Quoting: Herman The Kid


where did all the other animals go..were they abducted
and why wasn't the zoo closed and an investigation started.
There are some major concerns here..Where is this zoo
located..and I would have thought I would have heard more
about the missing animals on this site. I think that guy
visiting the zoo would be the number one suspect
-Heed the warning or endure the mourning
Favor ain't fair

[link to www.timeanddate.com]
[link to www.timeanddate.com]
Herman The Kid (OP)

User ID: 17951882
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09/04/2012 05:23 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
What do you say to a black guy in a suit?


"Will the defendant please rise?"

That is awful but you have to admit it's funny.
You m-m-m-muh-make me HAAA-PEEE.

Psalm 34:14 - Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.

Romans 5:8 - But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
09/04/2012 05:24 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1122747
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09/04/2012 05:25 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
How did Hitler ties his shoelaces?

In little Nazis.
 Quoting: Herman The Kid


How do you fit 6 million jewish people in a volkswagen?

Put them in the ashtray.

Ba dum dum.
Anonymous Coward
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09/04/2012 05:28 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
SirKnighte

User ID: 1281405
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09/04/2012 05:35 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
My grandfather died in the Holocaust....

He fell out of his guard tower....
 Quoting: DarbyDoom


Your cleavage is very admirable, i want to lay my head on them..

*RIMSHOT*
Anonymous Coward
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09/04/2012 05:38 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
My grandfather died in the Holocaust....

He fell out of his guard tower....
 Quoting: DarbyDoom


I'm so sorry. What allied forces country was he fighting for? The US?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14905916


It's a joke......
My grandfather died in the Holocaust.... (He was a Nazi guard at a concentration camp) He fell out of his guard tower....
institutionalized

User ID: 21503979
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09/04/2012 05:45 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
My grandfather died in the Holocaust....

He fell out of his guard tower....
 Quoting: DarbyDoom


I'm so sorry. What allied forces country was he fighting for? The US?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14905916


It's a joke......
My grandfather died in the Holocaust.... (He was a Nazi guard at a concentration camp) He fell out of his guard tower....
 Quoting: DarbyDoom


Tee hee, I get it now. It's totally ironic.

So, have you ever experienced anything of extreme similarity????
,./;'[]=-
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22939722
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09/04/2012 05:52 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
My grandfather died in the Holocaust....

He fell out of his guard tower....
 Quoting: DarbyDoom


I'm so sorry. What allied forces country was he fighting for? The US?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14905916


It's a joke......
My grandfather died in the Holocaust.... (He was a Nazi guard at a concentration camp) He fell out of his guard tower....
 Quoting: DarbyDoom




verysad
Anonymous Coward
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09/04/2012 05:52 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
how many men does it take to tile a bathroom ??


two if you slice them really thin ....



what red and green and screams ???


kermit the frog in a blender




what do you call and underground train with twenty professors sitting in it ???


a tube of smarties
Janine69

User ID: 16458863
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09/04/2012 10:33 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
The chicken and the egg had sex....later the chicken, looking disgruntled said.."Well, that solves THAT riddle"
Anonymous Coward
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09/04/2012 10:50 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity

I can't put it down...
Herman The Kid (OP)

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09/04/2012 11:37 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
A Native American walks into a shrink's office.

He says, "Doctor, doctor, I can't figure out who I am. I'm two people in the same body. I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wig-wam. I'm a tee-pee. I'm a wig-wam. What the HELL AM I?"


Doc says, "Settle down, you're two tents."
You m-m-m-muh-make me HAAA-PEEE.

Psalm 34:14 - Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.

Romans 5:8 - But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Anonymous Coward
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09/04/2012 11:42 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
My wife wanted to have sex in the backseat and she wanted me to drive
Anonymous Coward
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09/04/2012 11:55 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
Whats black, white and red and has trouble getting through revolving doors?

A nun with a spear through her head.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1579668
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09/04/2012 11:56 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
I just got done reading the book Increase Your Memory in 5 Easy Steps. Step 1 was....ah...you're supposed to....oh, never mind!
institutionalized

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09/05/2012 11:08 AM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
I just got done reading the book Increase Your Memory in 5 Easy Steps. Step 1 was....ah...you're supposed to....oh, never mind!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1579668


Tee hee, I like it when you said the word............um........that one word over there. No the other word..........I wish I could just tell you what it says but I can't read.
,./;'[]=-
Anonymous Coward
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04/17/2016 09:56 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
A dead baby is like a lab coat

If you wear one to the opera people will give you dirty looks
TobiasKillerB

User ID: 3728386
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04/17/2016 10:17 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
I got a good one, always makes me laugh... Women's Rights... 8D!
Most folks are as happy as they make up their mInds to be...
Anonymous Coward
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04/17/2016 10:21 PM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
Who fed more people, Jesus or Hitler?

Hitler - Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves and two fish but Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.
Anonymous Coward
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04/18/2016 12:52 AM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
Guy goes into a hardware store and says I need some 2x4. Guy behind the counter says how long do you want it? Other guy says I think I'll keep it.

How come you can't tell jokes about the Jonestown massacre? The punch-line is too long.
True utterances by students
"I can't find my camoflage"

"My glue got stuck"

"I need red paint"
(For what?)
"I need it for a while"
Anonymous Coward
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04/18/2016 01:13 AM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Anonymous Coward
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04/18/2016 01:15 AM
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Re: Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

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