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My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.

 
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:21 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
...


Poverty ripped the joy forth from my life in an assault that has emotionally impaired me. I want some money, so I can live in abject joy by travelling all over the place.
 Quoting: institutionalized


my natal map tells me its what i want too... but i would settle in the simplest life. living with my family in a farm completely our own, providing ourselvs and being free, this is what i wish.
 Quoting: DPS


Farm life produces life at the behest of labor. I hope for your farm an overabundance of life. 0112358
 Quoting: institutionalized


Is that the keyless code? Are you exposing secret knowledge?
 Quoting: Anarchytype


Sort of. It's the number sequence that mathematically harmonizes with the perfection of life.
,./;'[]=-
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:24 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
do you think about death?
 Quoting: DPS


No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Death is scary. Like your being right now. Stop scaring me. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

J/k. Ya'll know how I gets when it gets intense.
,./;'[]=-
DPS

User ID: 23043343
Israel
09/05/2012 02:27 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
does death kinda seems like an exit point? a passage way, but you know not where it leads.
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:30 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
Maybe, maybe it feels like sleep, sweet and eternal. Sleep with scary dreams.

It's all so very confusing.
,./;'[]=-
DPS

User ID: 23043343
Israel
09/05/2012 02:32 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
are you seeking a way out of the matrix?
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:34 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
Do you hold the keys to something else? Are you messianic? Or are you just messy? Fess up gangsta.

Last Edited by institutionalized on 09/05/2012 02:34 PM
,./;'[]=-
Anarchytype

User ID: 17408906
United States
09/05/2012 02:35 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
does death kinda seems like an exit point? a passage way, but you know not where it leads.
 Quoting: DPS


Are you thinking of death, DPS?

I think of death all the time. I find life rather unsatisfying. I take responsibility for this. In the sense that i am ultimately the one responsible for whatever experience I take from life.

I self destruct, my hands are always covered in my own blood.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12042051
United States
09/05/2012 02:35 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
I would like to create into my existence the action and adventure that accompanies the courageous thrill seeker.

This I am sure will stave off life's monotonous boredom.

I say damn be the consequences. Enjoy me.
 Quoting: institutionalized


Why don't you take up writing instead?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23226974
United States
09/05/2012 02:36 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
I think you need to leave the mushrooms alone
for a while
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:37 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
I would like to create into my existence the action and adventure that accompanies the courageous thrill seeker.

This I am sure will stave off life's monotonous boredom.

I say damn be the consequences. Enjoy me.
 Quoting: institutionalized


Why don't you take up writing instead?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12042051


Errrm, I uh...Well it's just that there is nothing better than the magic of real time communication.

It feels metaphysical to me.

Last Edited by institutionalized on 09/05/2012 02:37 PM
,./;'[]=-
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1128116
Canada
09/05/2012 02:38 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
macabre meanderings of the mind
break away set them free
DPS

User ID: 23043343
Israel
09/05/2012 02:38 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
does death kinda seems like an exit point? a passage way, but you know not where it leads.
 Quoting: DPS


Are you thinking of death, DPS?

I think of death all the time. I find life rather unsatisfying. I take responsibility for this. In the sense that i am ultimately the one responsible for whatever experience I take from life.

I self destruct, my hands are always covered in my own blood.
 Quoting: Anarchytype


im looking for a way out of this pardigm, my ultimate goal is to be a god in my own universe.

death is the only exit point i see, but then i would reincarnate into another matrix and fail.

but i think that the solution is suicide after attaining a certain think through soul alchemy
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:38 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
does death kinda seems like an exit point? a passage way, but you know not where it leads.
 Quoting: DPS


Are you thinking of death, DPS?

I think of death all the time. I find life rather unsatisfying. I take responsibility for this. In the sense that i am ultimately the one responsible for whatever experience I take from life.

I self destruct, my hands are always covered in my own blood.
 Quoting: Anarchytype


Beautifully writ. All consuming. I love it.
,./;'[]=-
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:40 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
macabre meanderings of the mind
break away set them free
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1128116


Nine!!!!! Nine!!!!!!!

They are horrified to float about without the protection of flesh. I want to say something so dark it causes everything to fade just a shade.
,./;'[]=-
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:43 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
does death kinda seems like an exit point? a passage way, but you know not where it leads.
 Quoting: DPS


Are you thinking of death, DPS?

I think of death all the time. I find life rather unsatisfying. I take responsibility for this. In the sense that i am ultimately the one responsible for whatever experience I take from life.

I self destruct, my hands are always covered in my own blood.
 Quoting: Anarchytype


im looking for a way out of this pardigm, my ultimate goal is to be a god in my own universe.

death is the only exit point i see, but then i would reincarnate into another matrix and fail.

but i think that the solution is suicide after attaining a certain think through soul alchemy
 Quoting: DPS


That's too bad. Do you have any suicide hotline numbers? Google them bro, if in need. If not it's cool, you can communicate here, it'll make you feel better.
,./;'[]=-
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:44 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
I think you need to leave the mushrooms alone
for a while
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23226974


Well that takes away this weekends sacraments. What should I have instead?
,./;'[]=-
DPS

User ID: 23043343
Israel
09/05/2012 02:45 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
what are you talking about, im not suicidal nor depressed.

im talking from an alchimecal point of view, if natural death takes you the big place where they reincarnate you, then where does suicide takes you.

have you not wondered why so many great magickans have gone through a suicide ritual?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23233063
United Kingdom
09/05/2012 02:45 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
"During the last 15 years experiments have shown that the sensed presence of a “Sentient Being” can be reliably evoked by very specific patterns of weak (<1microT) transcerebral magnetic fields applied across the temporoparietal region of the two hemispheres … Re-analyses with additional data for 407 subjects (19 experiments) showed that the magnetic configurations, not the subjects’ exotic beliefs or suggestibility, were responsible for the experimental facilitation of sensing a presence" (St-Pierre and Persinger 2005, 1079).

Dr Persinger from Laurentian University, found that 80% of normal people will feel a sensed presence within the room if you stimulate a person’s temporal lobes with magnetic fields (Persinger 2009).
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23233063


That is some heavy shit. How would one go about stimulating a person's temporal lobe. Could it be done organically? Human to human energy. Telepathically?
 Quoting: institutionalized


No, there is no evidence for this
Anarchytype

User ID: 17553212
United States
09/05/2012 02:50 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
does death kinda seems like an exit point? a passage way, but you know not where it leads.
 Quoting: DPS


Are you thinking of death, DPS?

I think of death all the time. I find life rather unsatisfying. I take responsibility for this. In the sense that i am ultimately the one responsible for whatever experience I take from life.

I self destruct, my hands are always covered in my own blood.
 Quoting: Anarchytype


im looking for a way out of this pardigm, my ultimate goal is to be a god in my own universe.

death is the only exit point i see, but then i would reincarnate into another matrix and fail.

but i think that the solution is suicide after attaining a certain think through soul alchemy
 Quoting: DPS


Interesting I have been reading about soul alchemy.
Death is the only exit for any of us...let's not rush to get there..;)

Are you able to project? It seems to me projecting yourself into the matrix rather than dying to get there might be a happy medium.
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:51 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
"During the last 15 years experiments have shown that the sensed presence of a “Sentient Being” can be reliably evoked by very specific patterns of weak (<1microT) transcerebral magnetic fields applied across the temporoparietal region of the two hemispheres … Re-analyses with additional data for 407 subjects (19 experiments) showed that the magnetic configurations, not the subjects’ exotic beliefs or suggestibility, were responsible for the experimental facilitation of sensing a presence" (St-Pierre and Persinger 2005, 1079).

Dr Persinger from Laurentian University, found that 80% of normal people will feel a sensed presence within the room if you stimulate a person’s temporal lobes with magnetic fields (Persinger 2009).
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23233063


That is some heavy shit. How would one go about stimulating a person's temporal lobe. Could it be done organically? Human to human energy. Telepathically?
 Quoting: institutionalized


No, there is no evidence for this
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23233063


O.I.C.
,./;'[]=-
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/05/2012 02:54 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
Just as this thing was getting more fun than jumping into a pool of jello shots. I have to leave, momentarily.

Goddamned responsibility to hell.

Leave some questions, talk among yourselves. I'll be back, way later.
,./;'[]=-
DPS

User ID: 23043343
Israel
09/05/2012 02:56 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
does death kinda seems like an exit point? a passage way, but you know not where it leads.
 Quoting: DPS


Are you thinking of death, DPS?

I think of death all the time. I find life rather unsatisfying. I take responsibility for this. In the sense that i am ultimately the one responsible for whatever experience I take from life.

I self destruct, my hands are always covered in my own blood.
 Quoting: Anarchytype


im looking for a way out of this pardigm, my ultimate goal is to be a god in my own universe.

death is the only exit point i see, but then i would reincarnate into another matrix and fail.

but i think that the solution is suicide after attaining a certain think through soul alchemy
 Quoting: DPS


Interesting I have been reading about soul alchemy.
Death is the only exit for any of us...let's not rush to get there..;)

Are you able to project? It seems to me projecting yourself into the matrix rather than dying to get there might be a happy medium.
 Quoting: Anarchytype


and exposing myself to beasts?? i would not project. i use clairvoynence, and let my sub conscious filter and build my dreams
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1259549
United States
09/05/2012 03:00 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
I'm a little nervous about posting a thread. There is a doorknob in my minds eye. I see it moving. Something on the other side is trying to come through.

It calls out to me. Through the door in a rage it screams at me.

I ate for breakfast something black. Wretched convulsions of possession soon after followed.

Collective Conscious? Hop in.....It's just right over there. You like my car? Yea, me too, its just too bad the accelerator got stuck and were heading right for that wall.

I will provide anyone with interest the inner workings of my mind. Up until I get overwhelmed with paranoia and synchronicity that is.
 Quoting: institutionalized


You should never eat anything black.
Judethz
Israel is Eternal

User ID: 20521597
United Kingdom
09/05/2012 03:04 PM

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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
Just take your meds...be allwight...
 Quoting: Ego_Sum_Nex


alone No he won't, some one's bound to give him one star and send him into a spiral of depression.
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/06/2012 02:21 AM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
I'm a little nervous about posting a thread. There is a doorknob in my minds eye. I see it moving. Something on the other side is trying to come through.

It calls out to me. Through the door in a rage it screams at me.

I ate for breakfast something black. Wretched convulsions of possession soon after followed.

Collective Conscious? Hop in.....It's just right over there. You like my car? Yea, me too, its just too bad the accelerator got stuck and were heading right for that wall.

I will provide anyone with interest the inner workings of my mind. Up until I get overwhelmed with paranoia and synchronicity that is.
 Quoting: institutionalized


You should never eat anything black.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259549


Yea, but you know what they say about hindsight and being able to see really well.

If I could go back in time I would have eaten only half.
,./;'[]=-
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/06/2012 02:31 AM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
Just take your meds...be allwight...
 Quoting: Ego_Sum_Nex


alone No he won't, some one's bound to give him one star and send him into a spiral of depression.
 Quoting: Judethz


Even the suggestion of one starring this thing that I'm doing on line..................would probably be o.k. It's not meant for the mainstream. It caters to crazy.

A very small portion of the online community will like it. These are the ones shunned by a hateful and evil society.

All the normal folks, all the rich people, all the happy people, will detest it. They will swallow back bile that floods their mouths.

They will rant and rave and pull out some of their hair. They will one star and bad karma the fuck out of me. That's cool, I can live with that.

Last Edited by institutionalized on 09/06/2012 02:32 AM
,./;'[]=-
institutionalized (OP)

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United States
09/06/2012 02:53 AM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
A song I oft times play whilst falling asleep, subconsciously speaks to me things I awake without remembering.

I go through my day, and the smallest thing sets me off. I fly off the handle into some hate fueled rage.

I scream curses, spittle flies free, I ball up my fists and swing them wildly in the air, I throw myself to the floor and roll around flailing all about.

Well, anyway......I can't find that album that has the song on it.
,./;'[]=-
institutionalized (OP)

User ID: 21503979
United States
09/07/2012 12:15 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
Cloak and dagger? Yes, please.

Like a cryptic and secret message I'm going to hide specific personal intel within the middle of this thread.

In my heightened state of awareness (paranoia), I try and take within every detail. I've been taking notice of every synchronicity.

The operative that bummed a smoke from me yesterday was professional. He kept it quick and short and didn't allow me any specific intel.

The asset who approached me in order to video me, allowed for me to have his phone number, his name, and his military history. He claimed to be ex-special forces. He was wearing his dog tags on the outside of his shirt. One tag had a sound suppressor the other did not. The phone he was using to video me was fricking high tech awesomeness.

One of his eyes were hazel, and the other a dark brown. Contact?

He played a guitar, and stated that he was influenced by the popular music of slipknot. Tee hee, Really?

He claimed to be from Dallas, and was now in Springfield Mo. Selling German engineered air filtration systems.

It was fucking hilarious when he told me this. I thought he claimed that he dealt in German infiltration systems.

It was soon clarified and I was like. O.I.C.

Last Edited by institutionalized on 09/07/2012 12:22 PM
,./;'[]=-
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21719598
United States
09/07/2012 12:16 PM
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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
I'm a little nervous about posting a thread. There is a doorknob in my minds eye. I see it moving. Something on the other side is trying to come through.

It calls out to me. Through the door in a rage it screams at me.

I ate for breakfast something black. Wretched convulsions of possession soon after followed.

Collective Conscious? Hop in.....It's just right over there. You like my car? Yea, me too, its just too bad the accelerator got stuck and were heading right for that wall.

I will provide anyone with interest the inner workings of my mind. Up until I get overwhelmed with paranoia and synchronicity that is.
 Quoting: institutionalized


Bring it, OP, bring it.
anabel

User ID: 16007817
United States
09/07/2012 12:22 PM

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Re: My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I am horrified beyond comprehension.
and my dreams keep telling me of a great devestation coming to my home, probably war... im scared.
 Quoting: DPS
hugs
howdy

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