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Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1283850
United States
09/06/2012 08:45 PM
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Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house -- mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.


Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in then flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is hot.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you've still got it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms .'

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you're not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

In your 90's & beyond :
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1283850
United States
09/07/2012 01:47 PM
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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
Come on now that's funny
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9927807
United States
09/07/2012 01:52 PM
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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
LOL now that is some funny shit!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23296479
United States
09/07/2012 01:54 PM
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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
cruise
beeches

User ID: 14127627
United States
09/07/2012 07:42 PM

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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
And true!
Now is the time.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23369416
United States
09/07/2012 07:46 PM
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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
Come on now that's funny
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1283850


yep
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 920396
United States
09/07/2012 09:53 PM
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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
rockon
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20006444
United States
09/07/2012 10:00 PM
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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
Geez! I'm still doing the thirties thing even though I'm in my sixties by the calendar. Does that mean I'm vain as hell or just young at heart?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23374275
United States
09/07/2012 10:09 PM
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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 975627
United States
09/07/2012 10:31 PM
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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
Man I must be an old man in a 38 yr old body cause I just stop what i'm doing, get the keys, and go all sweaty and stinky.I don't really care what anyone thinks. A wife of 17 years and 4 kids will do that to you. It's all good though.
NightWisp

User ID: 942369
United States
09/07/2012 10:36 PM

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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
Loved it. It is so true.
Jer 3:33 (OP)

User ID: 1283850
United States
11/20/2013 02:07 PM
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Re: Man's age determined by a trip to Home Depot
For those that missed it... A good laugh does the heart and mind good..
Jeremiah 33:3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

[link to www.thisprophecy.com]
[link to www.getalifemedia.com]
[link to www.jesus-is-savior.com]
[link to www.creationrevelation.org]

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