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Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23670570
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09/13/2012 01:45 AM
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Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
I hate having to impress people. I hate attention. I just want to be invisible. Why do I feel pressured to impress people; especially those of whom I don't know? I feel pressure at work the most. I have to act fake and impress customers to make them feel special or something. I have to be polite by asking them superficial questions and wishing every single person to have a good day. Yet people walk all over you if you're polite, too. I'm very indifferent, though. I do not care! I'm sorry. I used to care, but I do not care anymore. I don't know what happened to me. Not just work, but when I am my genuine self people become offended. Not because I'm rude or obnoxious (I'm rather humble, actually) but because I don't engage them in pointless conversation to act like I care what they think about the weather or something. I'm rather silent and hate asking questions I don't really want the answer to just to fill the silence.

I'm a nice person, honestly. But people mistake my indifference about superficial shit for rudeness. When someone engages me about something other superficial shit then I'm all in it. Like I feel like I have to be fake to be considered nice, but even when you're nice people try to exploit it and run you over. But when you're not nice people call you all kinds of names. It's like What the fuck do people want?

I'm also there for people, a lot. I don't want praise, I don't want remuneration. I just want to see people be happy, but not in the way that seems like people need pointless amounts of attention. If you need a ride somewhere, fine! I'll take you as much as I can as long as I know you're doing something for your life. It's hard to explain really...but on first glance people think I'm stuck-up or whatever...but I'm really not.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10771535
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09/13/2012 01:49 AM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
subconscious fear of the Void's yawning maw
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23662250
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09/13/2012 01:51 AM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
to make them feel like they really exist
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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09/13/2012 01:51 AM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
subconscious fear of the Void's yawning maw
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10771535



I love the silence. I feel so calm when it's silent, constant noise makes me want to runaway out to the middle of nowhere so I can hear myself think.
stillhere

User ID: 16315970
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09/13/2012 01:57 AM

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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
Everyone is different --the whole introvert/ extrovert thing. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is pretty simple and identifies which type people are, where they fit in on a 16 part grid.

Once people get to know someone they realize how they "are" and respect their personality. (well, that should happen). Don't fret, you are more normal than you think. It is normal at a young age to be more comfortable being like what you perceive others to be, but consider they are also putting on a front and may be thinking what you are--
hf



[link to en.wikipedia.org]

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The original developers of the personality inventory were Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers. They began creating the indicator during World War II, believing that a knowledge of personality preferences would help women who were entering the industrial workforce for the first time to identify the sort of war-time jobs where they would be "most comfortable and effective".[1]:xiii

The initial questionnaire grew into the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which was first published in 1962. The MBTI focuses on normal populations and emphasizes the value of naturally occurring differences.[3]


CPP Inc., the publisher of the MBTI instrument, calls it "the world's most widely used personality assessment",[4] with as many as two million assessments administered annually.

The CPP and other proponents state that the indicator meets or exceeds the reliability of other psychological instruments[5][6] and cite reports of individual behavior.[7] Some studies have found strong support for construct validity, internal consistency, and test-retest reliability, although variation was observed.[8][9]

However, some academic psychologists have criticized the MBTI instrument, claiming that it "lacks convincing validity data".[10][11][12][13] Some studies have shown the statistical validity and reliability to be low.[13][14][15] The use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as a predictor of job success has not been supported in studies,[15][16] and its use for this purpose is expressly discouraged in the Manual.[17]
"You can bend it and twist it... You can misuse and abuse it... But even God cannot change the Truth.”
Michael Levy
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 23670570
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09/13/2012 02:01 AM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just depressed or is it really just human nature to need to fill the silence when noise with pointless dribble--no matter what. Sometimes I go to the club with friends for the music and I notice everyone around me is so needy for attention from the way they dress to the way they act. It's all a front for something...I'm probably just fucked in the head honestly.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 23670570
United States
09/13/2012 02:17 AM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
Everyone is different --the whole introvert/ extrovert thing. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is pretty simple and identifies which type people are, where they fit in on a 16 part grid.

Once people get to know someone they realize how they "are" and respect their personality. (well, that should happen). Don't fret, you are more normal than you think. It is normal at a young age to be more comfortable being like what you perceive others to be, but consider they are also putting on a front and may be thinking what you are--
hf



[link to en.wikipedia.org]

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The original developers of the personality inventory were Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers. They began creating the indicator during World War II, believing that a knowledge of personality preferences would help women who were entering the industrial workforce for the first time to identify the sort of war-time jobs where they would be "most comfortable and effective".[1]:xiii

The initial questionnaire grew into the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which was first published in 1962. The MBTI focuses on normal populations and emphasizes the value of naturally occurring differences.[3]


CPP Inc., the publisher of the MBTI instrument, calls it "the world's most widely used personality assessment",[4] with as many as two million assessments administered annually.

The CPP and other proponents state that the indicator meets or exceeds the reliability of other psychological instruments[5][6] and cite reports of individual behavior.[7] Some studies have found strong support for construct validity, internal consistency, and test-retest reliability, although variation was observed.[8][9]

However, some academic psychologists have criticized the MBTI instrument, claiming that it "lacks convincing validity data".[10][11][12][13] Some studies have shown the statistical validity and reliability to be low.[13][14][15] The use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as a predictor of job success has not been supported in studies,[15][16] and its use for this purpose is expressly discouraged in the Manual.[17]
 Quoting: stillhere


I took the test and scored INTJ
stillhere

User ID: 16315970
United States
09/13/2012 02:27 AM

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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just depressed or is it really just human nature to need to fill the silence when noise with pointless dribble--no matter what. Sometimes I go to the club with friends for the music and I notice everyone around me is so needy for attention from the way they dress to the way they act. It's all a front for something...I'm probably just fucked in the head honestly.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23670570


If you think you are depressed make sure you are getting enough "B" vitamins, magnesium, omega 3 oils...any shortage of the above can effect your moods.

Our biggest challenge in this life is to KNOW ourselves. Each of us is different and it is ok.

Discover what makes you happy, not everyone else. Do that, know yourself and you will attract like minded people to you.

Find music that you love and listen to it daily, get outside in nature. Be yourself!

You are not messed up or wrong.
hfhfhf
"You can bend it and twist it... You can misuse and abuse it... But even God cannot change the Truth.”
Michael Levy
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 23670570
United States
09/13/2012 02:28 AM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just depressed or is it really just human nature to need to fill the silence when noise with pointless dribble--no matter what. Sometimes I go to the club with friends for the music and I notice everyone around me is so needy for attention from the way they dress to the way they act. It's all a front for something...I'm probably just fucked in the head honestly.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23670570


If you think you are depressed make sure you are getting enough "B" vitamins, magnesium, omega 3 oils...any shortage of the above can effect your moods.

Our biggest challenge in this life is to KNOW ourselves. Each of us is different and it is ok.

Discover what makes you happy, not everyone else. Do that, know yourself and you will attract like minded people to you.

Find music that you love and listen to it daily, get outside in nature. Be yourself!

You are not messed up or wrong.
hfhfhf
 Quoting: stillhere


Thanks :)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23387604
United States
09/13/2012 02:31 AM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
I voided reading to make you more transparent...iwish
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12016255
United States
09/13/2012 03:04 AM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
People feed the need to be sought after. Even if it is fake or contrived it makes them feel like they are center of attention. That they somehow are special because people gawk at them.

But these are short-term thinkers. They know nothing of the long-term.

Living for the now is the right way to be but they take it a to a new level. People like this tend to be flaky, irresponsible, and downright annoying at times.

That's their front - they are fast talkers that want to make it seem like they're an angel. When deep down they are the boringest (yes I know it's not a word) people in the world.

Let them have their bullshit chatter. It's never going to get them anywhere. It's a bunch of strangers acting like they're on Cheers or something.

True work is done in silence - I have the exact same issue at my work. And you wanna know how I deal with it? I make them mannequins in my mind. They don't exist. They're placeholders.

The people you speak of are patsies or newbs. Learn to love them. It wouldn't be much fun if every person was the same skill level in everything.

At my work currently we have so many of those its ridiculous. I leave for a thirty minute break and the pace of the job slows down 3-5 minutes because the patsy in my position has no sense of urgency.

Moral of the story: People like this have no urgency for a reason. They're lame. Boring. Sneaky. Conniving. And usually suck so much ass if you told them how much they sucked ass they would be surprised.

Fuck em. Make alliances with the good people. Crush the game. Make money. Good luck.
BlondeDramaQueen

User ID: 23843226
Germany
10/10/2012 04:21 PM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
bump
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
LaniJane

User ID: 25327387
United States
10/10/2012 05:49 PM

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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
I hate having to impress people. I hate attention. I just want to be invisible. Why do I feel pressured to impress people; especially those of whom I don't know? I feel pressure at work the most. I have to act fake and impress customers to make them feel special or something. I have to be polite by asking them superficial questions and wishing every single person to have a good day. Yet people walk all over you if you're polite, too. I'm very indifferent, though. I do not care! I'm sorry. I used to care, but I do not care anymore. I don't know what happened to me. Not just work, but when I am my genuine self people become offended. Not because I'm rude or obnoxious (I'm rather humble, actually) but because I don't engage them in pointless conversation to act like I care what they think about the weather or something. I'm rather silent and hate asking questions I don't really want the answer to just to fill the silence.

I'm a nice person, honestly. But people mistake my indifference about superficial shit for rudeness. When someone engages me about something other superficial shit then I'm all in it. Like I feel like I have to be fake to be considered nice, but even when you're nice people try to exploit it and run you over. But when you're not nice people call you all kinds of names. It's like What the fuck do people want?

I'm also there for people, a lot. I don't want praise, I don't want remuneration. I just want to see people be happy, but not in the way that seems like people need pointless amounts of attention. If you need a ride somewhere, fine! I'll take you as much as I can as long as I know you're doing something for your life. It's hard to explain really...but on first glance people think I'm stuck-up or whatever...but I'm really not.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23670570

Sooo weird to see someone else iterate, I've felt this way for years. About 5 yrs. ago I took myself out of work that brought me into contact with the general public and I've gotta tell you I'm much happier now. Course I still don't respond well to drivel tounge.
"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls." ~
George Carlin
sssss

User ID: 25091341
Australia
10/10/2012 05:56 PM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
Everyone is different --the whole introvert/ extrovert thing. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is pretty simple and identifies which type people are, where they fit in on a 16 part grid.

Once people get to know someone they realize how they "are" and respect their personality. (well, that should happen). Don't fret, you are more normal than you think. It is normal at a young age to be more comfortable being like what you perceive others to be, but consider they are also putting on a front and may be thinking what you are--
hf



[link to en.wikipedia.org]

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The original developers of the personality inventory were Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers. They began creating the indicator during World War II, believing that a knowledge of personality preferences would help women who were entering the industrial workforce for the first time to identify the sort of war-time jobs where they would be "most comfortable and effective".[1]:xiii

The initial questionnaire grew into the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which was first published in 1962. The MBTI focuses on normal populations and emphasizes the value of naturally occurring differences.[3]


CPP Inc., the publisher of the MBTI instrument, calls it "the world's most widely used personality assessment",[4] with as many as two million assessments administered annually.

The CPP and other proponents state that the indicator meets or exceeds the reliability of other psychological instruments[5][6] and cite reports of individual behavior.[7] Some studies have found strong support for construct validity, internal consistency, and test-retest reliability, although variation was observed.[8][9]

However, some academic psychologists have criticized the MBTI instrument, claiming that it "lacks convincing validity data".[10][11][12][13] Some studies have shown the statistical validity and reliability to be low.[13][14][15] The use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as a predictor of job success has not been supported in studies,[15][16] and its use for this purpose is expressly discouraged in the Manual.[17]
 Quoting: stillhere


I think it goes beyond the introvert and extrovert thing. Regardless of both, i still see an urge by people to impress others by having more flashier material items.

Your are probably a developed soul OP, get used to being in a sea of immature ones :P

Avoiding small talk and being straight up with the truth, you sound like me... Most people are feel intimidated by this haha

Last Edited by sssss on 10/10/2012 05:58 PM
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25328809
United Kingdom
10/10/2012 06:02 PM
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Re: Why do people need constant praise/attention/fakeness?
we don't have that here in blighty we have the opposite people just ignore one another and look at you with contempt but at least we know where we stand :D