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Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday

 
Anonymous Coward
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09/16/2012 11:28 PM
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Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Before you ask why I'm asking for advice here, I'll tell you - I'M DESPERATE!! I'll get to the point since I imagine you're upset that I've torn you from the doom gripping the world right now. I've got serious doom happening right now, in my daily life. It's not bad for me though, it's the worst for my mom.
My dad is a meth head, he lives with my mom and torments her daily. Since he's a meth head, he can stay up for days and torture her. He's delusional and so paranoid, he thinks when he goes to the bathroom a guy pops out of the closet and starts fucking my mom, and jumps out the window when he comes back. You may be laughing at that but I'm dead serious, I am not joking at all He thinks there's people in the bushes behind his (my parents) house, when he comes home from work he'll like crawl through the window one day, and bust in through the back door another expecting to find my mom fucking someone or doing meth.
My mom DOES NOT do meth, but my dad is so paranoid he thinks she steals his and does it. When he's home he NEVER takes his eyes off her. When he doesn't have dope, he thinks she gets it some how and is keeping it from him. An example (This is how my mom told it to me) - one day his dope head buddies came over, she was reading magazines (There's like a stack of magazines on my moms coffee table) she said she leaned up from the couch to put one back and grab another and her phone fell out of her lap onto the floor, she picked it up and that's that. After the dope head buddies leave, he swears up and down one of his buddies threw a bag of dope into the floor in front of the coffee table when he wasn't looking and she 'pretended' to drop her phone to pick it up.
It's something like that daily - several times a day. He punches her sometimes, and pushes her down but it doesn't happen all that often (doesn't make it any better) he threatens to kill her daily. I live a few blocks away and I'm constantly driving 90 to nothing to her house 'cause they're arguing.

Here's the complicated part
I live in a rinky dink shit ass town, and the cops don't give a FUCK about anything. The police have been called on SEVERAL occasions and it's OBVIOUS that something has happened, but my mom either won't complain or leaves before the cops arrive and the cops won't do anything.
It's gotten to the point when the police are called, they take a fucking hour to come (The towns population is 600 - how much can be going on to where it takes an hour??)
It's getting worse, and I really really fear for my moms life. She comes to stay with me sometimes but when she does my dad just calls 24/7, bangs on my windows and doors all night.. She won't stay long because she says I shouldn't have to deal with it... She's right, but I can't just ignore it.
I'm so close to losing my job, I've had to drop out of school over this because I'm afraid - I feel like I have to be right there all the time or he's going to kill her...
This is hell, pure hell... I know there's people who have it worse... I just don't know what to do and I'm losing my mind. I don't know what I expect you guys to tell me to do, but - does anyone have any advice... Anything? Advice, suggestions, opinions, and kind words are much appreciated..
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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09/16/2012 11:30 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Oh, in case anyone wondered - I'm 20, and female. AND, I imagine someone will suggest we move but, we actually don't have the money. We really want to though.
Anonymous Coward
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09/16/2012 11:32 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
My advice- get away from that asshole! Do anything you can to get you and your Mom away- leave town w/no trace- lots of other places to live/work!Bus, plane train hitch-hike-outta that hell! Good-luck man.
Hitch-hike until you get to a city that has women's shelters- it will take a while to get on your feet, but lots of women have gone there before!
Anonymous Coward
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09/16/2012 11:32 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Find a battered women's shelter within 75 miles and take your mother there. Then get yourself out of town for a while. Where are you that the cops can't be bothered with busting your dad?
Anonymous Coward
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09/16/2012 11:33 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Doesn't pops go boating in that "old" boat from time to time ? That could be real dangerous you know ? wink - wink!
Anonymous Coward
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09/16/2012 11:34 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Geesh...God Bless is all I can come up with...
AtsuiPanda
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09/16/2012 11:35 PM

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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Find a battered women's shelter within 75 miles and take your mother there. Then get yourself out of town for a while. Where are you that the cops can't be bothered with busting your dad?
 Quoting: Little Bee


bump
THE EBOLA-ZOMBIES ARE COMING!
Anonymous Coward
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09/16/2012 11:36 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
My advice- get away from that asshole! Do anything you can to get you and your Mom away- leave town w/no trace- lots of other places to live/work!Bus, plane train hitch-hike-outta that hell! Good-luck man.
Hitch-hike until you get to a city that has women's shelters- it will take a while to get on your feet, but lots of women have gone there before!
 Quoting: SpiderJones


Yes.

Pack you and your mom's bags NOW

Go to a shelter ; in another town if need be. Sounds like the town you live in has some messed up cops and they like pay offs and is filled with corruption

YOu need to get out of there without hesitation and go to a place that is safe and will NOT

give out your whereabouts to anyone.

This is why I said a safehouse in another town

or even a church.

Take this advice and do not linger
Anonymous Coward
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09/16/2012 11:36 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Is there a church in town where you could go for help? Even if you are not a member of the church if you speak to the minister, pastor, priest, rabbi, etc. I'm sure they could give you some suggestions or help get your mother to a safe house.

hf
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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09/16/2012 11:37 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
I'm located in South Western Arkansas. The messed up thing is, most people have family they can go to for help but like 95% of my family are meth heads and the others are like extended family.. My mom and I plan to leave but it's kinda tough, I don't neither of us have a vehicle, I have to ride to work with a friend. Any money she gets he takes, I'm currently saving up but it's just nerve wracking until we can leave. My mom doesn't want to go to a battered women's place, and she doesn't want to tell the police.. That's what makes it so complicated.
Sloane

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09/16/2012 11:38 PM

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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Oh you poor thing. You should not have to carry this weight. Your mom must be strong enough to walk away from the situation - go into a shelter if there is nowhere else to go. Clearly she loves you much though, by not staying too long at your place. If you could move away, far away, that would be best. Sadly you can't rely on the police to keep you safe.


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09/16/2012 11:38 PM

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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
google and find a shelter and contact them!

Sorry you are going through this!!
"My religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me. ... That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave." - General Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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09/16/2012 11:39 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Honestly, I feel like my mother has given up on life - she doesn't want to do anything, she doesn't want to go get help. I've tried seeking out help for her but everyone tells me SHE has to seek out help to get it.
Anonymous Coward
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09/16/2012 11:45 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
I'm located in South Western Arkansas. The messed up thing is, most people have family they can go to for help but like 95% of my family are meth heads and the others are like extended family.. My mom and I plan to leave but it's kinda tough, I don't neither of us have a vehicle, I have to ride to work with a friend. Any money she gets he takes, I'm currently saving up but it's just nerve wracking until we can leave. My mom doesn't want to go to a battered women's place, and she doesn't want to tell the police.. That's what makes it so complicated.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21914232


Sweetie...you are just a kid...and a good kid too! I know you love your mother and are trying to take care of her but...if she will NOT tell the police or go to a shelter this is HER problem. She is enabling the abuse. I'm sure she is frightened but fear will get her nowhere...except maybe hurt.

You need to take care of yourself and make sure your dad doesn't hurt you too.

It's so hard when you do not have any money or a vehicle but If it's as bad as you say it is, and she is afraid for her life, she needs to put on her shoes and start walking.

I will pray for you and your mother!

red_heart
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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09/16/2012 11:47 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Does anyone know of a way I could get help without her? My dad is kind of slick, he makes sure he doesn't do anything that the police can arrest him for. My cousin is the only sober male in the family, when he has to come pull my dad off my mom my dad makes 100% sure he doesn't touch him so he can't press charges. My cousins actually said he WANTS my dad to hit him so he can press charges and get him arrested. Sounds retarded, but hey if it works..
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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09/16/2012 11:51 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
I'm located in South Western Arkansas. The messed up thing is, most people have family they can go to for help but like 95% of my family are meth heads and the others are like extended family.. My mom and I plan to leave but it's kinda tough, I don't neither of us have a vehicle, I have to ride to work with a friend. Any money she gets he takes, I'm currently saving up but it's just nerve wracking until we can leave. My mom doesn't want to go to a battered women's place, and she doesn't want to tell the police.. That's what makes it so complicated.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21914232


Sweetie...you are just a kid...and a good kid too! I know you love your mother and are trying to take care of her but...if she will NOT tell the police or go to a shelter this is HER problem. She is enabling the abuse. I'm sure she is frightened but fear will get her nowhere...except maybe hurt.

You need to take care of yourself and make sure your dad doesn't hurt you too.

It's so hard when you do not have any money or a vehicle but If it's as bad as you say it is, and she is afraid for her life, she needs to put on her shoes and start walking.

I will pray for you and your mother!

red_heart
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23807017

Thank you, and you're right. The truth hurts, but it's so hard to just walk away. I think about it all the time, but the thought of my mom left completely alone with him is more unbearable then my current situation.
mikebo2

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09/16/2012 11:54 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Is there a church in town where you could go for help? Even if you are not a member of the church if you speak to the minister, pastor, priest, rabbi, etc. I'm sure they could give you some suggestions or help get your mother to a safe house.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23807017


This person has the best advise.

You and your Mother should file a restraining order against your father.

I hate that you are in this situation.
There is nothing any of us can do.
Your only option is to file a restraining order on him and the 2 of you live together for a while.

This situation is NOT your fault. Nor is it actually your responsibility to correct it.
That being said I understand that it is your Mother and you as well as the rest of us would do anything we can to help our Mothers.

God be with you.
Anonymous Coward
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09/16/2012 11:59 PM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Why don't you tell her how the situation is effecting YOU!!!

Explain that you are terrified that he is going to hurt/kill her and YOU can NOT stand the thought of living the rest of your life without her!

Use reverse mom guilt...

Say something like.... MOM if you really LOVE ME, then you will help yourself. I NEED you!

I'm a mom and if my daughter came to me and told me those things, I would do something because I couldn't stand to watch my daughter suffer.

My heart hurts for you sweetie.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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09/17/2012 12:00 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Is there a church in town where you could go for help? Even if you are not a member of the church if you speak to the minister, pastor, priest, rabbi, etc. I'm sure they could give you some suggestions or help get your mother to a safe house.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23807017


This person has the best advise.

You and your Mother should file a restraining order against your father.

I hate that you are in this situation.
There is nothing any of us can do.
Your only option is to file a restraining order on him and the 2 of you live together for a while.

This situation is NOT your fault. Nor is it actually your responsibility to correct it.
That being said I understand that it is your Mother and you as well as the rest of us would do anything we can to help our Mothers.

God be with you.
 Quoting: mikebo2


Thanks. I knew no one on here could do anything except offer advice and kind words. It's all I needed, I needed to get this off my chest - I guess.

Thanks to everyone who posted for your words, and advice. I have called 800 numbers, and abuse hotlines but I haven't contacted a local church yet. I am going to now though, and see what advice they can offer. Maybe they can talk to my mom. Thanks again everyone.
Anonymous Coward
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09/17/2012 12:00 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
You both need to get away from there... but since your mom is unable to change her life and won't even go to a shelter, it's pretty clear... You're gonna have to make the move on your own.

Get far away from there. Just call the police from all around the area and tell them he cooks meth. They'll take his ass in. From there, your mom will either follow or she won't.
Patrick Bateman

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09/17/2012 12:04 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
If I were you, I would pack myself and mom up and bounce. Shelter, relative, whatever, but meth heads can be extremely dangerous, especially when they get too paranoid.

Maybe the time away is what he needs to get clean? But for the safety of you and your mom, you should get out.

I hope it works out for you, and wish you the best.

hf
Anonymous Coward
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09/17/2012 12:04 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Before you ask why I'm asking for advice here, I'll tell you - I'M DESPERATE!! I'll get to the point since I imagine you're upset that I've torn you from the doom gripping the world right now. I've got serious doom happening right now, in my daily life. It's not bad for me though, it's the worst for my mom.
My dad is a meth head, he lives with my mom and torments her daily. Since he's a meth head, he can stay up for days and torture her. He's delusional and so paranoid, he thinks when he goes to the bathroom a guy pops out of the closet and starts fucking my mom, and jumps out the window when he comes back. You may be laughing at that but I'm dead serious, I am not joking at all He thinks there's people in the bushes behind his (my parents) house, when he comes home from work he'll like crawl through the window one day, and bust in through the back door another expecting to find my mom fucking someone or doing meth.
My mom DOES NOT do meth, but my dad is so paranoid he thinks she steals his and does it. When he's home he NEVER takes his eyes off her. When he doesn't have dope, he thinks she gets it some how and is keeping it from him. An example (This is how my mom told it to me) - one day his dope head buddies came over, she was reading magazines (There's like a stack of magazines on my moms coffee table) she said she leaned up from the couch to put one back and grab another and her phone fell out of her lap onto the floor, she picked it up and that's that. After the dope head buddies leave, he swears up and down one of his buddies threw a bag of dope into the floor in front of the coffee table when he wasn't looking and she 'pretended' to drop her phone to pick it up.
It's something like that daily - several times a day. He punches her sometimes, and pushes her down but it doesn't happen all that often (doesn't make it any better) he threatens to kill her daily. I live a few blocks away and I'm constantly driving 90 to nothing to her house 'cause they're arguing.

Here's the complicated part
I live in a rinky dink shit ass town, and the cops don't give a FUCK about anything. The police have been called on SEVERAL occasions and it's OBVIOUS that something has happened, but my mom either won't complain or leaves before the cops arrive and the cops won't do anything.
It's gotten to the point when the police are called, they take a fucking hour to come (The towns population is 600 - how much can be going on to where it takes an hour??)
It's getting worse, and I really really fear for my moms life. She comes to stay with me sometimes but when she does my dad just calls 24/7, bangs on my windows and doors all night.. She won't stay long because she says I shouldn't have to deal with it... She's right, but I can't just ignore it.
I'm so close to losing my job, I've had to drop out of school over this because I'm afraid - I feel like I have to be right there all the time or he's going to kill her...
This is hell, pure hell... I know there's people who have it worse... I just don't know what to do and I'm losing my mind. I don't know what I expect you guys to tell me to do, but - does anyone have any advice... Anything? Advice, suggestions, opinions, and kind words are much appreciated..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21914232


I do have to say:

bsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflag

Anyone in this situation would fucking leave unless they are *that* stupid. No sympathy here. Go out and make a life in the greatest nation to have ever been born in. Take the reigns of your life dipshit!
Anonymous Coward
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09/17/2012 12:07 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
If your mother is not ready to try anything to save herself, there is really not much you can do darlin. I feel sorry for your Mom, but she has to want change.hf
Anonymous Coward
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09/17/2012 12:09 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Before you ask why I'm asking for advice here, I'll tell you - I'M DESPERATE!! I'll get to the point since I imagine you're upset that I've torn you from the doom gripping the world right now. I've got serious doom happening right now, in my daily life. It's not bad for me though, it's the worst for my mom.
My dad is a meth head, he lives with my mom and torments her daily. Since he's a meth head, he can stay up for days and torture her. He's delusional and so paranoid, he thinks when he goes to the bathroom a guy pops out of the closet and starts fucking my mom, and jumps out the window when he comes back. You may be laughing at that but I'm dead serious, I am not joking at all He thinks there's people in the bushes behind his (my parents) house, when he comes home from work he'll like crawl through the window one day, and bust in through the back door another expecting to find my mom fucking someone or doing meth.
My mom DOES NOT do meth, but my dad is so paranoid he thinks she steals his and does it. When he's home he NEVER takes his eyes off her. When he doesn't have dope, he thinks she gets it some how and is keeping it from him. An example (This is how my mom told it to me) - one day his dope head buddies came over, she was reading magazines (There's like a stack of magazines on my moms coffee table) she said she leaned up from the couch to put one back and grab another and her phone fell out of her lap onto the floor, she picked it up and that's that. After the dope head buddies leave, he swears up and down one of his buddies threw a bag of dope into the floor in front of the coffee table when he wasn't looking and she 'pretended' to drop her phone to pick it up.
It's something like that daily - several times a day. He punches her sometimes, and pushes her down but it doesn't happen all that often (doesn't make it any better) he threatens to kill her daily. I live a few blocks away and I'm constantly driving 90 to nothing to her house 'cause they're arguing.

Here's the complicated part
I live in a rinky dink shit ass town, and the cops don't give a FUCK about anything. The police have been called on SEVERAL occasions and it's OBVIOUS that something has happened, but my mom either won't complain or leaves before the cops arrive and the cops won't do anything.
It's gotten to the point when the police are called, they take a fucking hour to come (The towns population is 600 - how much can be going on to where it takes an hour??)
It's getting worse, and I really really fear for my moms life. She comes to stay with me sometimes but when she does my dad just calls 24/7, bangs on my windows and doors all night.. She won't stay long because she says I shouldn't have to deal with it... She's right, but I can't just ignore it.
I'm so close to losing my job, I've had to drop out of school over this because I'm afraid - I feel like I have to be right there all the time or he's going to kill her...
This is hell, pure hell... I know there's people who have it worse... I just don't know what to do and I'm losing my mind. I don't know what I expect you guys to tell me to do, but - does anyone have any advice... Anything? Advice, suggestions, opinions, and kind words are much appreciated..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21914232


I do have to say:

bsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflag

Anyone in this situation would fucking leave unless they are *that* stupid. No sympathy here. Go out and make a life in the greatest nation to have ever been born in. Take the reigns of your life dipshit!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14153199



Heartless bastard leave the kid alone! She is 20 years old living in nowhere Arkansas with no money or a car to get away in and is worried about her mother.

Take your poison somewhere else shill!
Anonymous Coward
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09/17/2012 12:09 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Just know that he could very possibly kill her. Don't doubt it, otherwise you may regret it. There have been mothers who have killed their own children while on meth. This drug is VERY dangerous and less than 1% of users ever get off of it.
Nikola Tesla

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09/17/2012 12:09 AM

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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
My advice- get away from that asshole! Do anything you can to get you and your Mom away- leave town w/no trace- lots of other places to live/work!Bus, plane train hitch-hike-outta that hell! Good-luck man.
Hitch-hike until you get to a city that has women's shelters- it will take a while to get on your feet, but lots of women have gone there before!
 Quoting: SpiderJones


Yes.

Pack you and your mom's bags NOW

Go to a shelter ; in another town if need be. Sounds like the town you live in has some messed up cops and they like pay offs and is filled with corruption

YOu need to get out of there without hesitation and go to a place that is safe and will NOT

give out your whereabouts to anyone.

This is why I said a safehouse in another town

or even a church.

Take this advice and do not linger
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23487446

Get out of there immediately. Do not linger at all. The battered women's shelter sounds like a good idea. You are not safe where you are. At least you will be safer at a shelter. Also, call the police and have a very serious talk with them. But leave first.

Good Luck!

“Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.” John Wayne
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The Bay

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09/17/2012 12:12 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
Ever thought about the Navy? You're a female...The pros would easily overcome the cons.
Anonymous Coward
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09/17/2012 12:15 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
I'm located in South Western Arkansas. The messed up thing is, most people have family they can go to for help but like 95% of my family are meth heads and the others are like extended family.. My mom and I plan to leave but it's kinda tough, I don't neither of us have a vehicle, I have to ride to work with a friend. Any money she gets he takes, I'm currently saving up but it's just nerve wracking until we can leave. My mom doesn't want to go to a battered women's place, and she doesn't want to tell the police.. That's what makes it so complicated.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21914232


If neither of you have a vehicle, how are you doing this?

" I live a few blocks away and I'm constantly driving 90 to nothing to her house 'cause they're arguing."

Just wondering... hmmm...
Nine's

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09/17/2012 12:17 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
What a horrible situation. It's sad and wrong that you've been put in the middle of it.

Has he always been mean, or did the drugs do it to him? It sounds like he needs help as much as your Mom. Guess there's probably no way anyone could reason with him right now?

You said you don't have a car to leave, but in your first post you mentioned driving "ninety" to nothing to get there when they're arguing. How do you get there?

Does your Mom call you and tell you about the fighting or how do you find out about it? Is that why you think you're about to lose your job?

Do you realize your own life is at risk by getting involved? It's so touching that you care enough to do it, but you know he can be dangerous. It just seems there has to be another alternative rather than having you as the referee.

What if you do lose your job? What will you do? If you move away with your Mom, what would you both do? Have you thought about it?

It really scares me that your Mom doesn't want to call the cops on him or talk to anyone who could control his behavior. I think even if you did go somewhere, run away, hide out, she'd end up calling him and telling him where you both are. It sounds like a codependent relationship and they feed off each other.

You sure do have a load on your shoulders. I know you want to help them but think that until they are willing to work out their own problems or contact someone who will stop the behaviors, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. My heart goes out to you and hope you'll let us know how things work out.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17851333
United States
09/17/2012 12:19 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
What a horrible situation. It's sad and wrong that you've been put in the middle of it.

Has he always been mean, or did the drugs do it to him? It sounds like he needs help as much as your Mom. Guess there's probably no way anyone could reason with him right now?

You said you don't have a car to leave, but in your first post you mentioned driving "ninety" to nothing to get there when they're arguing. How do you get there?

Does your Mom call you and tell you about the fighting or how do you find out about it? Is that why you think you're about to lose your job?

Do you realize your own life is at risk by getting involved? It's so touching that you care enough to do it, but you know he can be dangerous. It just seems there has to be another alternative rather than having you as the referee.

What if you do lose your job? What will you do? If you move away with your Mom, what would you both do? Have you thought about it?

It really scares me that your Mom doesn't want to call the cops on him or talk to anyone who could control his behavior. I think even if you did go somewhere, run away, hide out, she'd end up calling him and telling him where you both are. It sounds like a codependent relationship and they feed off each other.

You sure do have a load on your shoulders. I know you want to help them but think that until they are willing to work out their own problems or contact someone who will stop the behaviors, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. My heart goes out to you and hope you'll let us know how things work out.
 Quoting: Nine's


Reread the op's posts, nine. In the first post she's saying she's constantly driving 90 to nothing to get to her mom's house and then turns right around and says neither she nor her mother has a vehicle and she has to ride with a friend to work.

Which is it?


Somebody's yanking some chain here, I do believe.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23924389
United States
09/17/2012 12:20 AM
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Re: Dear GLP, I'm in need of advice for an extremely complicated situation - My mom and I are living DOOM everyday
I will pray for you. Tell your mother that you want her to leave with you. If she refuses, tell her you might not ever see her again. Tell her that you need her to help you make a fresh start. Tell her how much you need her to be there for you. Go to a local church and ask for help. There are people who will help you leave town. When you and hopefully your mother arrive in the new town, there are people who will help you.

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