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DHS version of a Non-Terrorist Civilian

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23786571
Canada
09/20/2012 12:22 PM
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DHS version of a Non-Terrorist Civilian
1. Does not have any American paraphernalia, including flags, bumper stickers, or t-shirts.

2. Does not know his or her rights and has never heard of the American history or the constitution.

3. Cheated all the way through school, and couldn't pass one test honestly if his or her life depended on it.

4. Does not vote, but wear's pictures of Obama or Mitt in transnational attire unknowingly with UN logos.

5. Uses a debit card, and holds all his or her equity in a house and/or cash, despite money printing and housing bubble haircuts.

6. Has less than two days worth of food in the fridge.

7. Has never read a book, and doesn't own any. Gets very confused by political analysis.

8. Shops almost completely at Walmart.

9. Does not have any Americanized friends, despite living in the USA.

10. Gets vaccinated regularly.

11. Takes lots of prescription drugs to help them function in society.

12. Is a police officer.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24124926
Mexico
09/20/2012 12:28 PM
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Re: DHS version of a Non-Terrorist Civilian
Good punch line!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 23786571
Canada
09/20/2012 01:36 PM
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Re: DHS version of a Non-Terrorist Civilian
Should have added...

1. Does not gather in public spaces aside from necessary shopping.

2. Does not own any hoodies or wear them.

3. Does not know how to operate a smart phone application such as a recording device.

4. Has no social life and stays mostly at home.

5. Does not internet surf, apart from netflix and videogaming and facebook.