God Joke`s

i genuinly dont get it.

hey Dry Paw

So sorry it did,nt make ya laugh man
im absolutly gutted

well thats alright, i never understand the humour in christian jokes anyway.

Maybe this one will

Avertisement for a Yogi Ashram;

We garantee to make your death feel exactly like your birth
or your money will be refunded.

Wet Foot
you got
any good one`s ???

[link to godlikeproductions.com]

wait, this did not work

[link to godlikeproductions.com]


just type jokes in the search box of this forum, all the jokes are there,.

humans are made from a pile of crap .

well this is not about god, but its truly divine:


Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legs hurt, I no come work."
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today.
When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex.
That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."

Well saved Wet foot there are indeed a heap of laughs here lol

That was great Cosmic Trigger
might start looking for a boss with a nice wife

Says God....

And it came to pass that God visited the earth, and He did behold a series of billboard ads attributing to Him utterances of such banality that they would never pass His lips in a billion years.

And it came to pass that God in His wrath considered a libel suit, but in the end opted simply to mount a cantankerous, self-contradictory ad campaign of His own. . . .

You can have another kid when you learn to take care of the first one.
—God

If I wanted you to have seven kids, I would have given you a bigger planet.
—God

I'm flattered you liked my book so much. Now why don't you read something new?
—God

I never said, "Thou shalt not think."
—God

I gave you a bigger brain for a reason. Start using it.
—God

All this will someday be your children's.
—God

Here's a clue—if they say they're doing it in my name, they're lying.
—God

I don't care who started it. Just stop it.
—God

You'd better have stopped fighting by the time I get back, or you're all grounded.
—God

Just look at this planet! Do you expect me to clean this up?
—God

If you don't clean this place up, you won't get another millennium.
—God

You're not tracking those bloody footprints in here.
—God

There is no such thing as killing in my name.
—God

Stop smirking, America. I'm talking to you, too.
—God

Source: www.saysgod.com

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
T
he first man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength--and the tools to cross this river". Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools and the intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned him into a woman.

She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.

Hehehe...good one 62269.

Please don't smite me....the devil made me do it!

God's joke = woman!