Those wet moist towelette wipes make my ass itchy. As much as I like the way they clean my butt crack, I can’t use them.

When I am talking to a really hot chick I wonder if she really knows what I am thinking about.

Sometimes I think back to all the restaurant meals I ate that unknowingly contained semen.

I swear that I can see my dog smirk when I pick up his poop.

Not sure, maybe I’ll just kill myself.