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Hate this life

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23941694
Canada
09/23/2012 10:34 PM
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Re: Hate this life
OP, we are similar in many ways.

you have an artistic and altruistic heart - you enjoy giving and creating - excellent!

you feel depressed because the outside world does not acknowledge your gifts and giving.

allow me to ask you - what part of the outside world is important enough for you to base your self worth on?

i agree it is no fun being alone while you put value on not being alone, or may i say it as "putting value into the programming that one must be yoked to be happy"

hang in there, you're not alone, et al .... means nothing while you're depressed - just know that you will not always feel this way

embrace your difference from the masses!

eh, re-reading this i see drivel - maybe you'll get something out of it. who knows?

just be good to yourself dude. :)
 Quoting: Ima Pseudonym


Thank you! Very kind words :)

As for the rest of the people who posted on this thread of mine, i never thought it would blow up like this. Honestly i was just venting. I needed someone to talk to, i feel like i have nobody and it means the world to me to talk to other people in the same boat. Granted, i'm still low, but atleast each of you have given me reason to move on..even if it's just for a wee while. You're all right, it does pass and i have been happy at some point in my life, just hard to remember what it feels like.

As for this post, i'm not sure what i expect from the outside world, i really don't. Companionship i suppose. Been hurt alot in my days and i guess it's just getting to me. Real hard for me to make friends as in a way i don't want them to get to know me as im afraid they would reject...writing this now it looks like silly talk but i don't care, it's how i feel.

It will pass and thank you all for being there for me..i really mean that and i hope i can be there for all of you too

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


You are welcome!

Please stay strong and it would be great if you could post one of your songs!

I Love hearing Guitar!
Love

hf
grasptheuniverse

User ID: 24323133
Australia
09/23/2012 11:50 PM

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Re: Hate this life
Why does your family seem indifferent to you what is the reason. You sound like a really nice person, trouble is that there are alot of mean people in the world also and nice people seem to get walked all over. Dont do anything foolish life is precious.
caz
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22868622
Canada
09/23/2012 11:56 PM
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Re: Hate this life
Why does your family seem indifferent to you what is the reason. You sound like a really nice person, trouble is that there are alot of mean people in the world also and nice people seem to get walked all over. Dont do anything foolish life is precious.
 Quoting: grasptheuniverse


Well for starters, i'm the youngest, they are all married and have a family of their own. Just seems they have no time if i don't have a spouse or kids to share with theirs. So when they get togetheer, they choose to exclude me because i'm not as succesful or ahead in life like them. (Actual words from their mouth)
strgzr

User ID: 21529100
United States
09/24/2012 12:07 AM
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Re: Hate this life
Damnit I had hoped this thread would die. Why? Because it resonates so much with how I feel and I'm trying hard to not kill myself and get out of this fucked up world.
strgzr
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 23579473
United States
09/24/2012 12:40 AM

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Re: Hate this life
Why does your family seem indifferent to you what is the reason. You sound like a really nice person, trouble is that there are alot of mean people in the world also and nice people seem to get walked all over. Dont do anything foolish life is precious.
 Quoting: grasptheuniverse


Well for starters, i'm the youngest, they are all married and have a family of their own. Just seems they have no time if i don't have a spouse or kids to share with theirs. So when they get togetheer, they choose to exclude me because i'm not as succesful or ahead in life like them. (Actual words from their mouth)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


I was the youngest in my family too with 3 older siblings. My parents are deceased, my 2 brothers I get along with, but they feel more like acquaintances than family, we are not close. My sister I'm very close with but she's got children and her own family to take care of so my interaction with her living in another state is limited to phone calls and emails. I know what you are talking about with regards to people seeming more distant when they are busy with their families or jobs. Heck I even have good friends that I don't see very often because of those reasons - married, had a kid, or moved away for a job. I don't see or talk to some of these individuals very often at all. Seems to be a common experience at this age.

Can I offer some advice about your family? No amount of resenting them or taking personal offense to their behavior will ever make you feel at peace inside. You will always feel conflicted and discontent if you believe they are intentionally trying to hurt you or neglect your feelings out of malice. Do you want to continue feeling this way? Of course not. If you want to change the way you feel about the circumstances, you need to consider altering your perception of them - changing your perspective. You can't control how they behave so the only thing you do have control over is how YOU feel.

Just because you are the youngest of the family does not mean you are the least mature, experienced, or developed. A person's physical age in adulthood is no indication of their level of conscious development or awareness. For your family members that are acting out or neglecting you - have you ever considered that their behavior may be a reflection of their level of conscious awareness or development? In other words, their actions may not be representative of any willful desire to hurt you or neglect you - their actions may be a product of being naive, misguided, uninformed, immature. Those are attributes that we usually associate with children, but there are plenty of adults who never learn to transcend those qualities. If you begin to perceive these individuals in your life as being CHILD-LIKE, you will not feel so offended by their actions. We know children are inexperienced and less developed so we are often more accepting of their mistakes because those mistakes are a reflection of their less developed conscious awareness. If you can learn to perceive these individuals in that context, you will open the door to understanding why they act the way they do, and through that understanding you will open the door to forgiveness. That is the only way you will find peace of mind within (through forgiveness).

I don't know if this makes any sense to you or not. If you want me to elaborate more on how this perspective could be applied to your specific situation with your family members, I could.

Last Edited by ANHEDONIC on 09/24/2012 01:31 AM

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Been (kind of am) there
User ID: 23805396
United States
09/24/2012 12:57 AM
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Re: Hate this life
You are loved, can you feel it? Feel it, Know it. Life is so gorgeous and each and every one of us is beautiful beyond measure as an individual. Sometimes I am just so overwhelmed by the beauty of everyone on this earth that I have been known to cry. The creativity and want of love inherent in us all is gorgeous. All that we're created on this earth all the art, music, poems... it speaks of a deep well of knowledge of the divine on this earth, and a yearning for love and the good. Isn't it rewarding to be a hard ass ambassador for (The Source) is this incarnation? Don't give up, find your spiritual armor and wear it often.

I'm kind of like you, this is what I tell myself, so people don't walk all over me in the future. Be as bitter as you can be about all these rotten people in your life without loosing your goodness (like you said about yourself, being kind, doing good works.) Find a balance between anger for the way you've been treated and love, and you've found a healthy medium known as self preservation. Don't loose your capacity for unconditional love, but always take a step back and remember your own feelings, like "I'm not being treated well." That usually brings up the emotion of bitterness, so it's balancing that with your natural ability to love unconditionally. So you love those around you, friends, family, but always take a step back, remove yourself slightly, and do what you know you need to do to maintain your own health and emotional safety. Love without constraint, but don't give too much of yourself that you feel like an overlooked doormat. IF this doesn't work for you, do some searching on your own, find some self help books, write, find your passion, discover what you find inherently rewarding in life.

I actually found an audio course by a guy named Carlos Xuma called "Games people play". He's actually a dating guru, but did a course on how people manipulate others and play social games. I found it very helpful to be able to identify just what someone was doing when they were being passive aggressive, and I knew it, but couldn't really make sense of it, or make sense of how to repel such attacks.

Please, please don't forget,
The human race is destined for the stars and so are you!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24320625
United States
09/24/2012 01:23 AM
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Re: Hate this life
There are infinite things to see, touch, and do in this world. Your imagination is pathetic, but that can be fixed. Go out ad experience nature in all its forms extensively.
IAM LEGION

User ID: 25267947
United States
10/14/2012 06:12 PM

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Re: Hate this life
^^^

Oh on that note if you say you are broke and can hardly make ends meet, they will say "yes I am terribly broke too, things are bad, real bad."

The very next week they buy a brand new car and go on a trip to some exotic location.

Then they tell you their earning $20,000 a month.
.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 945308


yup thats how alot of my relatives are. i know what you are going thru op, i have been wanting to do the same. just waiting for that brighter day!
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