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Hate this life

 
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22868622
Canada
09/23/2012 07:18 PM
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Re: Hate this life
We really need to connect you and I. where can I reach you?are you a woman or man?
I am in ontario.
That would be nice to chat a little.I am in the same case, I always help shelters , food banks etc...but when I need a job nobody helps me.How old are you?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


i am a 30 year old male in Alberta sir/maam
Hard knock life eh?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23579473
United States
09/23/2012 07:18 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I think about suicide about every other day.

I know that doesn't help you to say that, but I understand where you are coming from.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13376778


You can die without physically perishing. Death of your ego, death of your old self - the element of your identity that is only a product of the conditioning and programming of this material, superficial world. Many who struggle with depression do so because they do not relate to or resonate with the unnatural lifestyle which our society has crafted for itself. Jamming a square peg through a round hole does not get easier over time, it doesn't fit. You don't need to harm yourself, just to relinquish your OLD self - distance your conscious awareness from the identity & mindset that this irrational and unnatural world tried to force upon us and encourage us to adopt. This is not an easy task by any means but through this pursuit, one can finally find their peace of mind and freedom from fear-based thoughts.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23941694
Canada
09/23/2012 07:23 PM
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Re: Hate this life
We really need to connect you and I. where can I reach you?are you a woman or man?
I am in ontario.
That would be nice to chat a little.I am in the same case, I always help shelters , food banks etc...but when I need a job nobody helps me.How old are you?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


i am a 30 year old male in Alberta sir/maam
Hard knock life eh?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


yeah life is hard but stay strong
I am a woman,I just turned 35
Do you have something that makes you happy?such as an activity,a hobby etc...sometimes we need to turn to something that makes us happy and forget those who hurt us and make us unhappy
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12582603
Canada
09/23/2012 07:24 PM
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Re: Hate this life
It seems to me that the problem lies with your family. They are mean spirited and appear to enjoy hurting you. It's terrible to have a family like this but a lot of people do.
I have done ok in my life but it wasn't because of my family. It was in spite of them.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14333155
Canada
09/23/2012 07:24 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I was actually going to make a similar thread.

In your case, I bet you are the poor one in the family so you are excluded because you can't afford to fly around and have a good time with the rest of your family?

Families are usually mean. If you can't afford to join in they will just leave you out. No one will bother to pay for you, even if others did not treat them as meanly as they treat you.

I have seen this in my own family. Whole family raised on welfare and given charity and kindness from others. In my life I was the only one on welfare and the rest of the family just cut me out.

Apparently it is my own fault that I have a debilitating medical condition and can't work and that my husband left.

The truth is people don't want to associate with unhappy people. If you are miserable, others just want you to fuck off and stop being the dark cloud in the room.
.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 945308


I too have met this fate. I am poor with a sometimes debilitating medical condition. And, the egg story is just remarkable.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14333155
Canada
09/23/2012 07:26 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I was actually going to make a similar thread.

In your case, I bet you are the poor one in the family so you are excluded because you can't afford to fly around and have a good time with the rest of your family?

Families are usually mean. If you can't afford to join in they will just leave you out. No one will bother to pay for you, even if others did not treat them as meanly as they treat you.

I have seen this in my own family. Whole family raised on welfare and given charity and kindness from others. In my life I was the only one on welfare and the rest of the family just cut me out.

Apparently it is my own fault that I have a debilitating medical condition and can't work and that my husband left.

The truth is people don't want to associate with unhappy people. If you are miserable, others just want you to fuck off and stop being the dark cloud in the room.
.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 945308


I too have met this fate. I am poor with a sometimes debilitating medical condition. And, the egg story is just remarkable.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14333155

Well it's not soo debilitating as it is annoying. I have a mental health conditon. It causes me to flake out. I am sure I will be fine. I have friends. I have some family. We are pooor together. We help each other out. I just thank God I have a life and I can live it. Although the times can be pretty hard.
FuzzleFace

User ID: 4738313
United States
09/23/2012 07:33 PM
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Re: Hate this life
get over your pity and move on but dont forget remember dont turn back move foward. there are some great people but you wont find them if your too involved in the cirlces you shouldnt be in.

cheerscheers
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15779560


Please listen to this person. Could not have said it better myself. My family sucks too. Look around, others out there will love you but you gotta let go of that negative crew!
good luck
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8036987


That's crap. I was a divorced single mom for twenty years, the whole world shuns you, even your family. Even if you never ask for a loan or a hand out not once, they can't stand you making them feel like maybe they should help you?

Try and find a person who is upbeat and having a good time who will associate with you, you can't. They don't want your kind around. They only time they think about your kind is when they are bitching about how much tax they pay and voting to pay less taxes. Even though they are well off and having a good time.

The only people you will find who want to talk to you are other poor people who society has also rejected.
.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 945308



Jesus effin christ lady, you are bummin me out, and I'm only getting 15% of the experience of meeting you (your words on a screen)

Stop screaming about your victimization. Stop making yourself out to be a victim. Forgive yourself for choosing your life experience, and know that you chose a hard path, because you will learn so much more in this one lifetime than those with "easy" lives.

Forgive those around you, or you'll never stop feeling the emotional pain you seem to be suffering.

Think of others on this earth with hard paths, you are not alone

resist
This is all a joke!!
Davvi

User ID: 3677166
United States
09/23/2012 07:42 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I need to vent, bash me all you want..i really don't care anymore as i have lived a life of people putting me down and belittling me.

All my life i have tried to do good. I make it a priority to always do atleast 1 good deed a day and have always tried to help others. However, this same life as consisted of people pushing me away and choosing not to be friendly with me, to hang out with me or whatnot. My own family choose not to include me when there is a big birthday bash or little sibling reunion where they all fly in from other parts of the country to be together. No bother letting me know.

I have failed at any kind of friendship i have had and am sick of being alone. Truth be told, GLP is the only place i have any kind of social existence with. I hate myself, i'm done trying to help others in need as i always get it thrown back in my face.

There is no such thing as Karma. I have decided i think i just might end it. Cowerdly as it seems, i have been told its the best thing for me as i am dirt.

Cheers and good luck
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


hey don't even talk like that. you do know that you don't have to be a religious person to speak with a pastor, rabbi, or a priest? they are trained to listen and help you. if one doesn't work out move on to the next one.

never think you are worthless, and you are NOT dirt. everyone has a reason for being here. if you have a social existence on glp, good, be comfortable with that and enjoy it for now. maybe once you get used to interacting here you can move that comfort zone out and expand into the real world.

good luck to you and i hope things work out.

Last Edited by deplorable but adorable davvi on 09/23/2012 07:44 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24195368
Australia
09/23/2012 07:48 PM
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Re: Hate this life
Back to karma for a minute - just because you do good things in this life does not mean good things will follow in this life - espically if you expect that. It does not matter if you belive or not in karma - I can tell you for sure it does exist. A karma releated incident for a past life I went through led me straight back to making a decision (the right one this time) in this life. The process led me right into a total breakdown - of which 4yrs later I have recovered - I think - Lots Love to you OP, truly ya not alone

```:lbnvy:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22787868
Canada
09/23/2012 07:52 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I need to vent, bash me all you want..i really don't care anymore as i have lived a life of people putting me down and belittling me.

All my life i have tried to do good. I make it a priority to always do atleast 1 good deed a day and have always tried to help others. However, this same life as consisted of people pushing me away and choosing not to be friendly with me, to hang out with me or whatnot. My own family choose not to include me when there is a big birthday bash or little sibling reunion where they all fly in from other parts of the country to be together. No bother letting me know.

I have failed at any kind of friendship i have had and am sick of being alone. Truth be told, GLP is the only place i have any kind of social existence with. I hate myself, i'm done trying to help others in need as i always get it thrown back in my face.

There is no such thing as Karma. I have decided i think i just might end it. Cowerdly as it seems, i have been told its the best thing for me as i am dirt.

Cheers and good luck
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622



Take out all your fustrations on the devil,lucifer. He is the cause of all your problems because he fed you lie after lie after lie. Say the 150 original Rosary. Seriously it really makes the devil mad because you take away from him what he likes the most,souls. Say 150 times in a row: Our Lady full of Grace God is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst sinners and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Our Lady Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. If you can't say 150 which I really suggest you do then do as many as you can.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23579473
United States
09/23/2012 07:53 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I need to vent, bash me all you want..i really don't care anymore as i have lived a life of people putting me down and belittling me.

All my life i have tried to do good. I make it a priority to always do atleast 1 good deed a day and have always tried to help others. However, this same life as consisted of people pushing me away and choosing not to be friendly with me, to hang out with me or whatnot. My own family choose not to include me when there is a big birthday bash or little sibling reunion where they all fly in from other parts of the country to be together. No bother letting me know.

I have failed at any kind of friendship i have had and am sick of being alone. Truth be told, GLP is the only place i have any kind of social existence with. I hate myself, i'm done trying to help others in need as i always get it thrown back in my face.

There is no such thing as Karma. I have decided i think i just might end it. Cowerdly as it seems, i have been told its the best thing for me as i am dirt.

Cheers and good luck
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


hey don't even talk like that. you do know that you don't have to be a religious person to speak with a pastor, rabbi, or a priest? they are trained to listen and help you. if one doesn't work out move on to the next one.

never think you are worthless, and you are NOT dirt. everyone has a reason for being here. if you have a social existence on glp, good, be comfortable with that and enjoy it for now. maybe once you get used to interacting here you can move that comfort zone out and expand into the real world.

good luck to you and i hope things work out.
 Quoting: Davvi


Wouldn't it be safe to assume that a religious 'figure' is going to try and steer (convert) OP to their particular denomination/church? Not sure that's going to be productive.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22868622
Canada
09/23/2012 07:56 PM
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Re: Hate this life
We really need to connect you and I. where can I reach you?are you a woman or man?
I am in ontario.
That would be nice to chat a little.I am in the same case, I always help shelters , food banks etc...but when I need a job nobody helps me.How old are you?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


i am a 30 year old male in Alberta sir/maam
Hard knock life eh?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


yeah life is hard but stay strong
I am a woman,I just turned 35
Do you have something that makes you happy?such as an activity,a hobby etc...sometimes we need to turn to something that makes us happy and forget those who hurt us and make us unhappy
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


I love playing guitar and writing. About the only thing that takes me away so to speak. Guess i just feel a big gaping hole alot of the time. Weird i know
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16233071
Ireland
09/23/2012 08:02 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I need to vent, bash me all you want..i really don't care anymore as i have lived a life of people putting me down and belittling me.

All my life i have tried to do good. I make it a priority to always do atleast 1 good deed a day and have always tried to help others. However, this same life as consisted of people pushing me away and choosing not to be friendly with me, to hang out with me or whatnot. My own family choose not to include me when there is a big birthday bash or little sibling reunion where they all fly in from other parts of the country to be together. No bother letting me know.

I have failed at any kind of friendship i have had and am sick of being alone. Truth be told, GLP is the only place i have any kind of social existence with. I hate myself, i'm done trying to help others in need as i always get it thrown back in my face.

There is no such thing as Karma. I have decided i think i just might end it. Cowerdly as it seems, i have been told its the best thing for me as i am dirt.

Cheers and good luck
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions! I've been through depression and its rough but the only way out is to take responsibility for your reality. Do you help others for the purpose of feeling sorry for yourself later? You have a choice to focus on the negative or positive aspects of life! Look after yourself until you feel good enough to help others. In years to come you wont even remember posting this thread, it will just be a distant memory. Keep the head up and keep on truckin!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22868622
Canada
09/23/2012 08:02 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I need to vent, bash me all you want..i really don't care anymore as i have lived a life of people putting me down and belittling me.

All my life i have tried to do good. I make it a priority to always do atleast 1 good deed a day and have always tried to help others. However, this same life as consisted of people pushing me away and choosing not to be friendly with me, to hang out with me or whatnot. My own family choose not to include me when there is a big birthday bash or little sibling reunion where they all fly in from other parts of the country to be together. No bother letting me know.

I have failed at any kind of friendship i have had and am sick of being alone. Truth be told, GLP is the only place i have any kind of social existence with. I hate myself, i'm done trying to help others in need as i always get it thrown back in my face.

There is no such thing as Karma. I have decided i think i just might end it. Cowerdly as it seems, i have been told its the best thing for me as i am dirt.

Cheers and good luck
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


hey don't even talk like that. you do know that you don't have to be a religious person to speak with a pastor, rabbi, or a priest? they are trained to listen and help you. if one doesn't work out move on to the next one.

never think you are worthless, and you are NOT dirt. everyone has a reason for being here. if you have a social existence on glp, good, be comfortable with that and enjoy it for now. maybe once you get used to interacting here you can move that comfort zone out and expand into the real world.

good luck to you and i hope things work out.
 Quoting: Davvi


Wouldn't it be safe to assume that a religious 'figure' is going to try and steer (convert) OP to their particular denomination/church? Not sure that's going to be productive.
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


With all do respect, i am not religious and don't believe in orginized religious circles. It's my own personal belief so please don't hate on me because of it. I do believe there is a higher power though.

Guess this thread just shows we are all looking for "something"
FuzzleFace

User ID: 4738313
United States
09/23/2012 08:03 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I need to vent, bash me all you want..i really don't care anymore as i have lived a life of people putting me down and belittling me.

All my life i have tried to do good. I make it a priority to always do atleast 1 good deed a day and have always tried to help others. However, this same life as consisted of people pushing me away and choosing not to be friendly with me, to hang out with me or whatnot. My own family choose not to include me when there is a big birthday bash or little sibling reunion where they all fly in from other parts of the country to be together. No bother letting me know.

I have failed at any kind of friendship i have had and am sick of being alone. Truth be told, GLP is the only place i have any kind of social existence with. I hate myself, i'm done trying to help others in need as i always get it thrown back in my face.

There is no such thing as Karma. I have decided i think i just might end it. Cowerdly as it seems, i have been told its the best thing for me as i am dirt.

Cheers and good luck
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622



Take out all your fustrations on the devil,lucifer. He is the cause of all your problems because he fed you lie after lie after lie. Say the 150 original Rosary. Seriously it really makes the devil mad because you take away from him what he likes the most,souls. Say 150 times in a row: Our Lady full of Grace God is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst sinners and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Our Lady Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. If you can't say 150 which I really suggest you do then do as many as you can.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22787868


Wow, what terrible advice. Do not feel hate for anyone or anything, this is a useless poison that will only make your experience worse. You probably know that already OP, you seem like good peeps to me
This is all a joke!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23579473
United States
09/23/2012 08:07 PM
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Re: Hate this life
We really need to connect you and I. where can I reach you?are you a woman or man?
I am in ontario.
That would be nice to chat a little.I am in the same case, I always help shelters , food banks etc...but when I need a job nobody helps me.How old are you?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


i am a 30 year old male in Alberta sir/maam
Hard knock life eh?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


yeah life is hard but stay strong
I am a woman,I just turned 35
Do you have something that makes you happy?such as an activity,a hobby etc...sometimes we need to turn to something that makes us happy and forget those who hurt us and make us unhappy
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


I love playing guitar and writing. About the only thing that takes me away so to speak. Guess i just feel a big gaping hole alot of the time. Weird i know
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


That sounds like a healthy interest. The guitar work & writing can be very therapeutic. What type of music do you gravitate towards?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9114467
Canada
09/23/2012 08:10 PM
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Re: Hate this life
Have you tried smoking a joint ?
 Quoting: !saac


Ding ding ding we have a winner! Smoke a joint and your life will change for the better :D (wish i had one right about now! hehe)
Horus
User ID: 15472606
Iceland
09/23/2012 08:11 PM
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Re: Hate this life
Have you tried smoking a joint ?
 Quoting: !saac


yea, you live in canada where it's not illegal.
grow it!
and eat it.

just accept your family as it is.
glp is also a family, accepted as it is by you.
perfection is an ideal, not a requirement.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24239491
United States
09/23/2012 08:22 PM
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Re: Hate this life
OP, we are similar in many ways.

you have an artistic and altruistic heart - you enjoy giving and creating - excellent!

you feel depressed because the outside world does not acknowledge your gifts and giving.

allow me to ask you - what part of the outside world is important enough for you to base your self worth on?

i agree it is no fun being alone while you put value on not being alone, or may i say it as "putting value into the programming that one must be yoked to be happy"

hang in there, you're not alone, et al .... means nothing while you're depressed - just know that you will not always feel this way

embrace your difference from the masses!

eh, re-reading this i see drivel - maybe you'll get something out of it. who knows?

just be good to yourself dude. :)
Psychobilly

User ID: 23773057
United States
09/23/2012 08:24 PM
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Re: Hate this life
Positive attitude DOES NOT WORK.

It has some benefits but the problem is that you might be trying to change your personality from within the same personality that created it.

What you need to do first is start to monitor the thoughts you are thinking.
This is the great thing about being human. Learning to be an observer. It's called metacognition. The ability to step outside of ones self and monitor thoughts.

Thoughts produce feelings, which produce moods, which produce attitudes which produce personalities. Your thoughts are also coupled with your belief systems, and associations and automatic subconscious programs.

Do you know anyone that you admire that is happy? What aspects about that person can you see that contribute to their happiness? Do you think you could replicate those aspects.

Have you ever really sat down and analyzed what you think would make you happy. In silence, meditative state, while losing track of the big 3? Body, space and time?

That's key.

You can go another 10 years, complaining on an internet forum and see that nothing really changes.

Your thoughts are probably by now, automatic programs, rooted in the past. Your future can not be anything different from the past if you're running the programs of the past and repeating the same thoughts. You'll attract nothing but things in your life and reality that will support your state of being, which seems to be unhappiness.

Knowledge is power my friend. Find someone you admire in history and learn every single possible thing you can about them. This will fire up the frontal lobe. Contemplation is what the frontal lobe loves. Possibility.

But there is a certain amount of change and uncomfort you must go thorugh. You are most likely addicted to the chemicals that get released when you have the thoughts you think. Start by realizing that your intent and your current state of being are two different things. Your current state is rooted in the body, not the mind. The intent is in the mind.

Stick to your greatest ideal of yourself in the mind and ignore the uncomfort that the body will present to you to keep everything the same.

You're 30? Do it now man. I'm 42 and I just started on all this stuff about 8 months ago. I decided I no longer wanted to be the person I was.

Keep in mind. A warning. You don't want to spend the rest of your life doing what your doing now.

Nobody knows WTF they are doing man. I stopped trying to figure out what I was SUPPOSED to do.

I've created a vision in my mind of how I want my life to be. I've meditated on it so much that it actually seems like a memory. I'm basically brainwashing myself to believe in something that the senses yet can not perceive. I give no fuck whatsoever about anybody that tells me my reality in my mind is not real. Because it is. The brain does not know the difference between a thought and what's out there. That's the wonderful part.

When you really get into this process, the things that you are meditating on actually become and feel like a memory. That's the whacky part. It's actually kind of scary but yet liberating as well. It becomes so real in your head that you don't even question it. That's when objective reality starts to bend in your favor.

Seriously though, start by watching your thoughts. I'll bet 99% of them are absolute bullshit or rooted in past beliefs that no longer support you.

When I did this I was like WTF? No wonder I have panic attacks. I was thinking nothing but absolute horse shit 24/7, making myself nuts.

Take control man. 1 brain and it's yours. Who's gonna drive? Past BS or your Intent?
 Quoting: Psychobilly


I really like this post!
I have a question how do you meditate?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694



I use to meditate like a fool. You know "Don't think"

We humans have about 10,000 years to evolve before we can just "Not Think"

So that never worked. Instead, I'd imagine things I wanted to happen in my life. Now here's the deal. An atom is 99.9999% empty space. Physical is only .000001% of reality, if your speaking about atoms.

To me this basically means that what is in my head, as energy is more real than the physical (objective reality)

So to answer your question. Start by doing this. Take the slowest biggest deepest breath you can. Let it out as slowly as you let it in and just go real slow. With time, you can get down to about 3 breaths a minute. With ear plugs in, and eye blinds on, lights off, phone off, if you persist with the breathing, you can basically lose your body, environment and time in about 5 - 10 minutes. From there just imagine the things you want to happen. Who you want to be.

Also, ask yourself this. If I can't feel my body, if I can't see, hear or touch, what is left? A feeling. A feeling of me. Who I AM. That's you. Everything else is just built on top of that, including your body.

So want to start meditating right away to produce change? Just sit quiet and imagine. Practice 10 minutes a day and over time you'll see how real your imagined reality can become. We all meditate. We start with a thought, usually a self-defeatist thought based on past bullshit beliefs and we make a movie out of it and 15 minutes later you realize you've been imagining nothing but bullshit.

Now try this with something positive, do it 15 minutes a day if you can. The most important thing is not Affirmations, positive thoughts, etc. It's the feeling you carry with you in your gut. That's the defining factor. Your STATE, if you will. Is it one of joy and creation, or is of lack and fear and survival.

Most of us are in survival and we don't realize that these chemicals of a survival state are eating us alive from the inside out. It's not food, not fucking monsanto and the chemicals as much as your state of being. It's all rooted in your beliefs and the thoughts you think.

Want a new life? Start by shutting off the phone, the pc, the ipad and dim the lights, throw in some ear plugs, get out a notebook and draw 2 columns. One with the old you and aspects you dislike about yourself and on the right column, what you are going to replace it with.

Then, meditate on those two behaviors, one at a time and FEEL what it would feel like in your imagination. If you do this right and FEEL the FEELING of what it would be like now, you have essentially pruned some of the old connections and replaced them with new ones.

Nerve cells that fire together, wire together. Nerve cells that no longer fire together, no longer wire together. PERSISTANCE.

Now you can do this exercise, which requires work. Or you can spend 2 hours on fucking Facebook and nothing changes.

Last Edited by Psychobilly on 09/23/2012 08:25 PM
The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23941694
Canada
09/23/2012 08:28 PM
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Re: Hate this life
Back to karma for a minute - just because you do good things in this life does not mean good things will follow in this life - espically if you expect that. It does not matter if you belive or not in karma - I can tell you for sure it does exist. A karma releated incident for a past life I went through led me straight back to making a decision (the right one this time) in this life. The process led me right into a total breakdown - of which 4yrs later I have recovered - I think - Lots Love to you OP, truly ya not alone

```:lbnvy:
 Quoting: Dances


Okay, so please explain to me something about karma,I always wanted to know a thing about it but I never found the answer: when someone suffers at the hands of another person (domestic abuse for example),who is paying the karma,the victim or the perpetrator will get topay later? meaning did the victim is paying back for she has done or the perpertrator will pay later?I always wanted to know that
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24195368
Australia
09/23/2012 09:47 PM
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Re: Hate this life
Okay, so please explain to me something about karma,I always wanted to know a thing about it but I never found the answer: when someone suffers at the hands of another person (domestic abuse for example),who is paying the karma,the victim or the perpetrator will get topay later? meaning did the victim is paying back for she has done or the perpertrator will pay later?I always wanted to know that
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


I can only related what I personally experienced and know. In a past life I murdered my man due to the fact that he came to tell me he was leaving me for another. Bear in mind him and I had been together in many lives. I offered him a drink and poisioned him, as he lay dying I sat on his chest and choked him till dead - I then jumped off a cliff into the ocean to be with him. The women he was leaving me for is now his wife (in this life). The same situation came around, he had a choice her or me, he choose her - he slept in my spare room that night - my choice - leave him alone ? seduce him ? kill him again ? I choose to leave it - you can not know how fuckin hard that was. I have not seen him since then. I must say my choice was purely selfish - cause this is my last time on this rock - and I would not endanger that for anything.

```:sdew:
davvi

User ID: 3677166
United States
09/23/2012 09:55 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I need to vent, bash me all you want..i really don't care anymore as i have lived a life of people putting me down and belittling me.

All my life i have tried to do good. I make it a priority to always do atleast 1 good deed a day and have always tried to help others. However, this same life as consisted of people pushing me away and choosing not to be friendly with me, to hang out with me or whatnot. My own family choose not to include me when there is a big birthday bash or little sibling reunion where they all fly in from other parts of the country to be together. No bother letting me know.

I have failed at any kind of friendship i have had and am sick of being alone. Truth be told, GLP is the only place i have any kind of social existence with. I hate myself, i'm done trying to help others in need as i always get it thrown back in my face.

There is no such thing as Karma. I have decided i think i just might end it. Cowerdly as it seems, i have been told its the best thing for me as i am dirt.

Cheers and good luck
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


hey don't even talk like that. you do know that you don't have to be a religious person to speak with a pastor, rabbi, or a priest? they are trained to listen and help you. if one doesn't work out move on to the next one.

never think you are worthless, and you are NOT dirt. everyone has a reason for being here. if you have a social existence on glp, good, be comfortable with that and enjoy it for now. maybe once you get used to interacting here you can move that comfort zone out and expand into the real world.

good luck to you and i hope things work out.
 Quoting: Davvi


Wouldn't it be safe to assume that a religious 'figure' is going to try and steer (convert) OP to their particular denomination/church? Not sure that's going to be productive.
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


With all do respect, i am not religious and don't believe in orginized religious circles. It's my own personal belief so please don't hate on me because of it. I do believe there is a higher power though.

Guess this thread just shows we are all looking for "something"
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22868622


i suggested going to a religious person because you seemed to need someone to talk to, and not knowing your financial situation i thought it was the best option.

i am not religious myself so have no reason to hate anyone who also is not religious. I have only known of one person who has been in your situation she did go to two religious men, one priest, one pastor, and neither tried to convert her. lol, even though i guess that is their business. she said that both were very comforting and gave her a good feeling about herself which she needed desperately.

good luck to you. =)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23941694
Canada
09/23/2012 10:09 PM
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Re: Hate this life
Okay, so please explain to me something about karma,I always wanted to know a thing about it but I never found the answer: when someone suffers at the hands of another person (domestic abuse for example),who is paying the karma,the victim or the perpetrator will get topay later? meaning did the victim is paying back for she has done or the perpertrator will pay later?I always wanted to know that
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


I can only related what I personally experienced and know. In a past life I murdered my man due to the fact that he came to tell me he was leaving me for another. Bear in mind him and I had been together in many lives. I offered him a drink and poisioned him, as he lay dying I sat on his chest and choked him till dead - I then jumped off a cliff into the ocean to be with him. The women he was leaving me for is now his wife (in this life). The same situation came around, he had a choice her or me, he choose her - he slept in my spare room that night - my choice - leave him alone ? seduce him ? kill him again ? I choose to leave it - you can not know how fuckin hard that was. I have not seen him since then. I must say my choice was purely selfish - cause this is my last time on this rock - and I would not endanger that for anything.

```:sdew:
 Quoting: Dances


thank you for your reply.How do you know he is your husband from another life? how do you know it's the last life?
Dances
User ID: 24195368
Australia
09/23/2012 10:19 PM
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Re: Hate this life
thank you for your reply.How do you know he is your husband from another life? how do you know it's the last life?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


He was not my husband we where just together. I know because I was shown in a awake vision what I did and how I did it. I felt and saw it - this person was my best friend (in this life) for 20yrs + before this happened. He also has a twin, we are actually three from one soul - but thats a whole other story. How do I know this is my last life - cause Ive been here since before time, a punishment of sorts for galactic nastyness - the shift is my ticket home and Ive done all I can to be good. hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17885218
United States
09/23/2012 10:21 PM
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Re: Hate this life
i feel you OP. i am in the exact same place
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10750949
United States
09/23/2012 10:26 PM
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Re: Hate this life
I think about suicide about every other day.

I know that doesn't help you to say that, but I understand where you are coming from.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13376778


You can die without physically perishing. Death of your ego, death of your old self - the element of your identity that is only a product of the conditioning and programming of this material, superficial world. Many who struggle with depression do so because they do not relate to or resonate with the unnatural lifestyle which our society has crafted for itself. Jamming a square peg through a round hole does not get easier over time, it doesn't fit. You don't need to harm yourself, just to relinquish your OLD self - distance your conscious awareness from the identity & mindset that this irrational and unnatural world tried to force upon us and encourage us to adopt. This is not an easy task by any means but through this pursuit, one can finally find their peace of mind and freedom from fear-based thoughts.

hf
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC



I wish I could hold everyone in this world who are so down they are thinking of suicide, and show them love. I mean this from the heart. I have been there.


red_heart

Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22868622
Canada
09/23/2012 10:29 PM
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Re: Hate this life
OP, we are similar in many ways.

you have an artistic and altruistic heart - you enjoy giving and creating - excellent!

you feel depressed because the outside world does not acknowledge your gifts and giving.

allow me to ask you - what part of the outside world is important enough for you to base your self worth on?

i agree it is no fun being alone while you put value on not being alone, or may i say it as "putting value into the programming that one must be yoked to be happy"

hang in there, you're not alone, et al .... means nothing while you're depressed - just know that you will not always feel this way

embrace your difference from the masses!

eh, re-reading this i see drivel - maybe you'll get something out of it. who knows?

just be good to yourself dude. :)
 Quoting: Ima Pseudonym


Thank you! Very kind words :)

As for the rest of the people who posted on this thread of mine, i never thought it would blow up like this. Honestly i was just venting. I needed someone to talk to, i feel like i have nobody and it means the world to me to talk to other people in the same boat. Granted, i'm still low, but atleast each of you have given me reason to move on..even if it's just for a wee while. You're all right, it does pass and i have been happy at some point in my life, just hard to remember what it feels like.

As for this post, i'm not sure what i expect from the outside world, i really don't. Companionship i suppose. Been hurt alot in my days and i guess it's just getting to me. Real hard for me to make friends as in a way i don't want them to get to know me as im afraid they would reject...writing this now it looks like silly talk but i don't care, it's how i feel.

It will pass and thank you all for being there for me..i really mean that and i hope i can be there for all of you too

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23941694
Canada
09/23/2012 10:30 PM
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Re: Hate this life
thank you for your reply.How do you know he is your husband from another life? how do you know it's the last life?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23941694


He was not my husband we where just together. I know because I was shown in a awake vision what I did and how I did it. I felt and saw it - this person was my best friend (in this life) for 20yrs + before this happened. He also has a twin, we are actually three from one soul - but thats a whole other story. How do I know this is my last life - cause Ive been here since before time, a punishment of sorts for galactic nastyness - the shift is my ticket home and Ive done all I can to be good. hf
 Quoting: Dances 24195368


I see what you mean, if you feel it that way and experienced it that way,it is you truth and I don't have the right to judge that.
hf


I am still questioning the victim/perpetretor formula, who is who? I don't know if you could help me understand.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22868622
Canada
09/23/2012 10:33 PM
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Re: Hate this life
In a way, it seems this thread has turned into somewhat of a "self help, help eachother" group talk!





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