Here is some personal info based on a letter I wrote to Henrik at Red Ice I have edited it a bit...
(btw-it seems to me that all the alternative sites are controlled to some degree--and they all have a bias, wittingly or not, IMHO):
If you listen to what Matt Todd has to say in this video Bases 4 Part 1 James Casbolt. & Matt Todd
( [link to www.youtube.com
] it is one of the most startling things I have ever uncovered, both generally and within myself. He basically says that there is a program whereby our etheric bodies are being used as super soldiers to assassinate and perform missions. He also says specifically that "pot heads" and drug users generally are the "soldiers". I would bet you anything he would say that part of the programing is for the users to use.
When I was a child, I had many weeks of horrible nightmares, during which times I don't remember much, but I do remember "shadow people" and they looked exactly how they are portrayed. When I first saw them in crop circles I still couldn't believe it. I have begun to suspect that I was somehow programmed during that time. I now know this is a generational thing, as my mother had the same thing when she was a child.
After seeing the Matt Todd interview, I realized something that I vaguely suspected: that i was being used on a level most of us would rather not think about. Not only have a spent more money smoking chronic than anyone I know, thus smoking more than anyone I know, but I have many dreams whereby I can only describe them as assignments. Long taxing dreams, most of which I would not remember, but still the feeling of them was intense, exhilarating and exhausting. I have also had OBEs where I saw the plane go down in Queens after 911, for example, in real time--I know this because my friend called me right after it happened and I had just seen it happen in my dream, as real as any real.
I remember specifically assassinating people, performing super-human feats, working with shamans in s. america, etc... as recently as within the last year.
I always considered them just dreams until I saw Matt Todd, but even that might not have been enough to convince me. What really made me seek this stuff out and start to put it together was my own personal experiences in real life. Smoking tons of hash in China just before Tian An Men, Drinking in excess every night in Berlin before the wall came down, AND then being on some of the most powerful hallucinogens available for weeks on end before during and after 911, and particularly, having been told the cia runs the whole substance game even back then (which I didn't care about, really--I just wanted to create and reflect the human condition as profoundly as possible.)
Some of the art I did after 911 was "conceptual street art." Me and a homeboy from Mexico City (he had been kicked out of Mexico City for graffiti) would party and then go out late at night (though I often worked in broad daylight with a shopping bag cuz I am white) and "work," as we called it. It really felt like work and I noticed when I treated it like work it was like I was invisible.
I was just trying t "get up" in the arts as far as I was concerned and knew people who were getting famous and successful all around me. I had no political agenda nor did I care much for anything other than making profound interesting art that I thought was unique and reflected the human condition.
I think they changed the laws in NYC because of what we did, because we were painting on city and private property, and until that time it was just a misdemeanor. After that, they made it a felony.
We were taking the motif of "POST NO BILLS" which was on every construction site, and changing it to PAY NO BILLS and PRAY FOR PILLS and then, (this is when the poop really hit the fan) OSAMA IS A BUSH.
We called ourselves "CORP!" and also would put up "VIVA CORP!" We put our tags up everywhere and believe me when I say, eventually the heat came down. We had to stop, eventually, and my life became a nightmare for a while... :)
Looking back, I always wondered how we got away with it as long as we did--though I think we took the official authorities by surprise in the months right after 911, IMO now knowing what I know, we basically ended up performing a few useful tasks for he sorcerers: 1) we contributed to the crazy terroristic energy at the time (though we were making fun of it); 2) we gave the authorities an excuse to crack down on free speech and conspiracy theories; 3) we let the authorities know what people were thinking ahead of the curve and created some of the curve ourselves and 4) Perhaps the most important of the bunch, we told the truth and put it out in a form that would not be taken seriously by most, as in magic the truth, according to spiritual laws and what I know about magic, it seems must always be put out.
All of this aside, I have asked myself over the last months, what is the one thing I am totally biased against: religion, and specifically Christianity. And what am I biased for: art and substance use. The trump in this is a desire for truth that is a requirement to make good art. The artist must create honest systems or make crap, IMHO. That was the glitch that got me out of where I was to where I am.
What is the one thing all of the brilliant minds of the world questioning the most: Christianity. Once I saw that the power of Jesus Christ may be real (MUFON researchers) and that there are people with advanced abilities far beyond my own (Mark Cleminson, Carolyn Hamlett, Johanna Michaelsen) who are saying what they think the game is: Lucifer or Christ, then I started to pray.
I am curious, so I wanted to see what it was like. It feels good. It feels powerful and safe. It feels right. The shadow of God is cool. I don't care about living forever in this 3D, I am more interested in what comes after and where I want to be. My wife likes to say the operative phrase in NDEs is "Near Death" and we will never know what comes after till we are there.
I always liked the idea of "service to others" and I still seek and want to know more, but now I do it as someone who reads the New Testament and prays to God in the way Roger Moreau indicates is the most powerful way--because he seems like someone who knows what's up.
I have quit substance use for now and I think this would have been impossible for someone like me without realizing the above. It all still seems contrived or planned somehow, but God gives us a free will and we have to exercise it or He will do nothing. Thems the rules, yo.
p.s. the song I am attaching is a Hauscka mash-up (did I already send it?) I did about a year ago--at one point I sing: "We wait for assignment... traffic doesn't make a sound... they pick us up and bring us 'round... ahkenaten is in town..." I sing this to James Casbolt... I was of course, high when I wrote and performed this and the whole song was an accident, anyway, since my buddy sent me a Hauschka track for a listen and I thought it was his and that I was supposed to put down some vox, like usual... but it was telling to me, looking at it later...
I don't believe in coincidences.