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Relationship question

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21102271
United States
09/28/2012 03:26 AM
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Relationship question
I started talking to this girl I used to know back in college. We had a non-exclusive relationship back then, went on a few dates and had fun times into the night, then she fell in love with another person. We went our separate ways and talked every once in a while by email then stopped talking entirely. About a year ago she got out of a relationship with the same guy she'd been seeing for five years, who she had a kid with.

We started talking about two months ago and I've been seeing her more lately, because I still have feelings for her after all this time. She put her kid to bed and we finally had some alone time on the couch, started to cuddle, then I started to give her a massage. In the middle of all of that she asked me "What are your intentions?" which came off as a rather loaded question, I'm not sure what she meant. I just told her that I liked her and I wanted to see where the night would take us, then she said that she had class the next morning and should probably get to bed. She said that she wasn't looking for anything serious. She said "I like you too" but what exactly does a question like that mean? I told it "It doesn't have to be serious, lets just have some fun" even though I want more. I've never dated a single mom and I wonder if she has trust issues since her last boyfriend was such an asshole.

Whats your take on this? Do I even have a chance with this woman? And why would she ask such a question?
Mister ObviousModerator
Forum Administrator

09/28/2012 03:31 AM

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Re: Relationship question
Not good bro...

Kinda sounds like she doesn't want you for cheap sex, OR a relationship.

Basically, you're friend zoned bro.

There's a reason nothing ever came of it before.

Now she's got a kid...

Bah...

I say move on dude.

If she does decide to get with you in any way, it's probably only because she thinks she can use you...

But because she didn't jump on the opportunity I'm thinking you probably might not have much to materialistically offer her...

I could be wrong, so whatevs, but... that's just the impression I get.

I mean think about it, she's got a kid. Of course she needs support and security.

She's not scorned from relationships... she's holding out for a provider. She'll tell you (and everyone else who doesn't meet the criteria) that she's "not looking" etc. But then you will hear of her with another guy later, and don't be surprised to find out that he's got a 'niche' if you know what I mean.

Just be relieved she didn't jump on the opportunity for sex... maybe at least she's not a total whore.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1018225
United States
09/28/2012 03:41 AM
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Re: Relationship question
Maybe she means she wants something serious but she doesn't want to pressure you into anything serious.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 21102271
United States
09/28/2012 03:41 AM
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Re: Relationship question
In a lot of ways she's fiercely independent, and a bit of a feminist too. I know materially I could offer her much, I have a good job. I don't know if she's playing hard to get, or if I am indeed in the friend zone. Its hard to read her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 300884
Sweden
09/28/2012 03:51 AM
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Re: Relationship question
I started talking to this girl I used to know back in college. We had a non-exclusive relationship back then, went on a few dates and had fun times into the night, then she fell in love with another person. We went our separate ways and talked every once in a while by email then stopped talking entirely. About a year ago she got out of a relationship with the same guy she'd been seeing for five years, who she had a kid with.

We started talking about two months ago and I've been seeing her more lately, because I still have feelings for her after all this time. She put her kid to bed and we finally had some alone time on the couch, started to cuddle, then I started to give her a massage. In the middle of all of that she asked me "What are your intentions?" which came off as a rather loaded question, I'm not sure what she meant. I just told her that I liked her and I wanted to see where the night would take us, then she said that she had class the next morning and should probably get to bed. She said that she wasn't looking for anything serious. She said "I like you too" but what exactly does a question like that mean? I told it "It doesn't have to be serious, lets just have some fun" even though I want more. I've never dated a single mom and I wonder if she has trust issues since her last boyfriend was such an asshole.

Whats your take on this? Do I even have a chance with this woman?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21102271


No.

Or rather, if you do get together in the end, she will play you like a fiddle.

And why would she ask such a question?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21102271


To test you.

You failed the test by the way. She made you uncomfortable and broke off the sexual tension, which means she took power over you (she emasculated you). Bitches always do these kind of bitch tests to shake out the undesirables. They have a deep need to find someone that will put them in place. A bitch needs the proverbial bitch slap.

Unless you wish to learn the techniques on establishing dominance, I'd recommend dropping the pursuit of this woman.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24356260
United States
09/28/2012 03:59 AM
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Re: Relationship question
She's not looking for casual sex, she's looking for someone who will commit to a relationship as a dad for her kid.
Face Palmer
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User ID: 1149868
Germany
09/28/2012 04:03 AM

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Re: Relationship question
You should wait until at least(!) a year has past since her divorce/breakup. People are not themselves shortly after such life changing event. Usually they seek reassurement.
"The world will soon wake up to the reality that everyone is broke and can collect nothing from the bankrupt, who are owed unlimited amounts by the insolvent, who are attempting to make late payments on a bank holiday in the wrong country, with an unacceptable currency, against defaulted collateral, of which nobody is sure who holds title."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 300884
Sweden
09/28/2012 04:03 AM
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Re: Relationship question
She's not looking for casual sex, she's looking for someone who will commit to a relationship as a dad for her kid.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24356260


One might think that would be the case, but the OP told us "she said she wasn't looking for anything serious."

That, plus a history of being a slut manipulating her boyfriend into a "non-exclusive" relationship so she can fuck around as she pleases, is what sealed the deal for me.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9204251
Australia
09/28/2012 04:08 AM
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Re: Relationship question
I started talking to this girl
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21102271


There's your problem dude.

peace
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18847658
United States
09/28/2012 04:13 AM
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Re: Relationship question
Beware girls that tell you evil stories about their ex.
Sounds like you need to back off.
The carrot on a stick is not as good as it looks.
Be a man and find someone else.
I know it sounds shitty right now, But if you persist you will be the next asshole ex before you know it.