Who is the Illuminati?

I don't think the Illuminati exist. Mainly because all the people who talk about them can't even agree with who or what they are. So here is my evidence to prove that the Illuminati are fake and just a cover for what's actually going on. Just think for a minute... how much time do people spend predicting that the candle heads are going to bring about doom and then it never happens? A lot. Like a lot. Like more than all the other fake doom. Any time the Illuminati get brought up, nothing ever happens. Why? Because they are the biggest conspiracy ever created. All to keep us distracted from the truth.

First off Wikipedia shall tell us about the candle heads
[link to en.wikipedia.org] Anyone look at the first line :The Illuminati (plural of Latin illuminatus, "enlightened") is a name given to several groups, both real (historical) and fictitious. Now following up on the Bavarian candle heads... [link to www.bavarianilluminati.com] Basically a scam to get money. But wait there's more! [link to freemasonry.bcy.ca] Robison freely admitted that he had scanty knowledge of German and had derived all his information from other writers. 3 Unfortunately neither he nor Barruel were concerned with providing references for their sources. When they do quote from the papers and correspondence of the Order as published by the Bavarian government or the published works of Adam Weishaupt and Adolph Knigge, they also fail to provide context or citations. So uh yea. They just pulled some stuff outta their ass, cited some things and called it good. And wait yet again! There's more! As an example of the mythology that surrounds the history of the Illuminati, note that Barruel claimed that Lanz, an Illuminati courier and apostate priest, was struck by lightning, thus revealing Weishaupt’s papers to the authorities, but this does not appear to be substantiated. This error was widely reprinted and enlarged on by subsequent anti-masons whose lack of research and disdain for historical accuracy has lead them to confuse Johann Jakob Lanz (d.1785), a non-Illuminati secular priest in Erding, and friend of Weishaupt, with Franz Georg Lang, a court advisor in Eichstätt who was active in the Illuminati under the name Tamerlan. Read the rest of the page folks.

Moving on... [link to www.illuminati-news.com] Um..dude you screwed up your own argument by saying:The Illuminati (not to be confused with the Bavarian Illuminati; more about that later)... yea. He goes on to explain more about his theory yet never clearly identifies the origins of the Illuminati, doesn't even give any proper evidence to support his case, says that Christians( I am a Christian by the way) believe the Illuminati in fact are descending from the fallen angels and the Giants that walked the Earth. Sure dude. We all totally believe that. He then states that the offspring of the Illuminati- the Nephilim- are the top families today. In other words he's a Christian too :D woot! So somehow these people have managed to trace back their family roots to the biblical era and beyond to the very Battle of Heaven! Holy cow! Bull shit! So basically half human, half fallen angels are currently ruling the world! Oh my God, who'd thunk? I stopped reading at this point.

And according to the Gawker, of which I can't link due to copyright stuff,Jay-Z, Beyonce, and baby Blue Ivy are half human half fallen angels ruling the world through music. I would've never known. Except the gawker is a news satire site that most GLPers take seriously. How many people on here cited it in all seriousness when Blue Ivy was born? SHEEPLE! MOTHERFUCKING SHEEPLE! Okay anger gone. Moving on.

[link to www.skepdic.com] David dIcke, another pundit of the Illuminati, believes humans have been getting messages from alien "Illuminati-reptilians" for thousands of years. So wait.. their not half human, half angels ruling the world as the world's most powerful families? Their actually lizard folk? [link to cdn.obsidianportal.com] (O_O) IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW!
An extremely powerful civilian dominated cabal, the New World Order, includes Majesty [sic] Twelve [MJ-12], The Illuminati, Order of the Quest, The Bilderberg Group, The Trilateral Commission, The Executive Committee of The Council on Foreign Relations, The PI-40 Committee, The Jason Group [sic], The Club of Rome, The Group, The Royal Institute of International Affairs, The Open Friendly Secret Society [the Vatican], The Rosicrucians, The Brotherhood of the Dragon (or Snake), The Russell Trust, The Black Families (of Europe), Skull & Bones, the Scroll & Key, The Knights of Malta, the Illuminati arm of The Freemasons, and many, many other secretive groups. So members of the Skulls and Bones are half human, half fallen angel, lizards? From space? And from Heaven? Holy shit, I had no idea. This changes my lifeinsomanywaysIthinkI'mgoingtocryandthenrideaunicornintoara​inbowthisisallcrappeople.

[link to rense.com] It is Aryan supremacist (German is spoken at the top) but welcomes Jewish apostates. Yep. Everyone believes that. After all, the Holocaust was fake. Oh wait. It wasn't. >:[ Get with the program folks! So basically a halfhumanfallenangellizard left the Illuminati and start an online blog exposing the world's most ancient (since 1776,Battle of Heaven,1760) and evil organization in the world and got away with it because she used a fake name? Wow!

[link to humansarefree.com] When its final orbit decays in December 1999, Galileo will deliver its payload into the center of Jupiter. The unbelievable pressure that will be encountered will cause a reaction exactly as occurs when an atomic bomb is exploded by an implosion detonator. The plutonium will explode in an atomic reaction, lighting the hydrogen and helium atmosphere of Jupiter and resulting in the birth of the star that has already been named Lucifer. Yep. That totally happened. Oh wait. It's 2012. Nothing happened.

[link to one-evil.org] aww that's cute. They couldn't get right the name of the men who started the rumor and spread information about a fake "secret" organization. This website is totally legit and everything on it is accurate. [link to www.religiouscounterfeits.org]

Shall I go on or has everyone heard enough? I think I'll go on. Just to really drive the point home.

[link to www.theforbiddenknowledge.com] Look a timeline! 1776, Adam Weishaupt, a famous Mason, had developed the Illuminati, a secret society within a secret society. Waitwaitwait! Didn't the Illuminati come first in previous links? Isn't the Freemasons a group within the Illuminati, not the other way around?

Read more: [link to adventofdeception.com] The Illuminati was founded by Adam Weishaupt ....On May 1, 1776 (A Prime Occult Holiday) Weishaupt formed the “Order of Perfectibilists”. He adopted the name of “Brother Spartacus” within the Order. Though the Order was not egalitarian or democratic, its mission was the abolition of all monarchical governments and state religions in Europe and its colonies. So what.. he didn't create the Illuminati? And didn't someone else say that the Bavarian candle heads are different from the other candle heads? And why is there no info on the "Order of Perfectibilists" in the other links which talk about Illuminati? Hm? Because people who claim to know their shit do not in fact know their shit.

[link to en.wikipedia.org] . That Friday he awoke with a severe sore throat (either quinsy or acute epiglottitis)... Following common medical practice at the time, he was bled—initially by an employee and later again by physicians....Washington died at home around 10 p.m. on Saturday, December 14, 1799, aged 67. The last words in his diary were "'Tis well."Lol that didn't actually happen, here's the real story! [link to adventofdeception.com] Adam Weishaupt is adverted to repeatedly in The Illuminatus! Trilogy, written by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson,( [link to en.wikipedia.org] [link to www.amazon.com] as the founder of the Bavarian Illuminati. It is mentioned that Weishaupt construed as an impostor who killed George Washington and took his place as the first president of the United States. Wait when did Weishaupt die again? Oh yea 1830. A full 31 years after Washington died in 1799.

Okay I'm done now. Does anyone get it? Does anyone understand what has happened to us? We think that we're 'awake' but really, we're still asleep. Especially when something as fake as this is viewed as truth by so many. Face it, the Illuminati don't exist. They are biggest conspiracy ever created. "But wait!" you might say. "What about the all seeing eye on the dollar? Does that not prove their existence?" Well no. It doesn't. [link to en.wikipedia.org] It really doesn't mean a thing. Again biggest conspiracy ever created is to distract us...from what? Well that's the thing. We don't know because we've been too busy chasing shadows to ever uncover the truth. We've been trolled hardcore for many years. Wake up, for reals this time. Look around and stop staring at the obvious. You think we would even know about the Illuminati if it was an actually secret society controlling the world? No, we wouldn't. That would jeopardize their power and control over the masses. Think people! Think! Look around you and try to see the truth.

And so I conclude my thread on the Illuminati. Refute me all you want, the links don't lie. Go read them. Look at the truth, wake up, open your eyes, etc, etc. Unlike you I'm not asleep