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Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24630895
United States
09/29/2012 12:15 PM
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Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
First, apostrophes, which are particularly, especially near and dear to my heart, and so horrifically abused. Yes, I'm talking to you, and you know who you are. Dude, you're killing me.

First, apostrophes have NOTHING to do with plurality. Nothing. The plural of 'cat' is 'cats'. Let's use 'cats' in a sentence:

The insane woman who lives across the road has seventy cats inside her house.

NOT:

The insane woman who lives across the road has seventy cat's inside her house. WRONG! BAD! KILLING ME!!

If you put apostrophes into plural words, people will think that you are stupid, even if you aren't. It is that simple.

Second, apostrophes are used to show POSSESSION.

If the cat possesses something, then it is "the cat's". For example:

The dog's favorite treat is eating the cat's puke.

The PUKE belongs to the cat, so it is the CAT'S puke. As an added bonus in this sentence, the FAVORITE TREAT is the possession of the dog, so it is the DOG'S favorite treat. Possession, possession, possession.

Now, if the dog in question lived in the crazy woman's house with seventy cats and the the dog ate the puke from many or all of the seventy cats, that sentence would be:

The dog's favorite treat is eating the cats' puke.

When you have a plural word that is also possessive, the apostrophe goes on the outside of the 's'.

Completing the progression, if the crazy woman had multiple puke-eating dogs instead of just one, that sentence would be:

The dogs' favorite treat is eating the cats' puke.

Thirdly, apostrophes are used to indicate a CONTRACTION. 'Do not' becomes 'don't'. We put the apostrophe between the 'n' and the 't' because we have removed the 'o' in 'not'. The apostrophe goes in the place of the missing letter or letters.

Are not becomes aren't.
I have becomes I've.
She had and she would become She'd
Contraction, contraction, contraction.

Fourthly, the words 'it's' and 'its' must have their respective rules memorized. It is quite easy to distinguish between the two if you simply remember this mnemonic device:

IT can never possess anything.

Now certainly the word 'it' is used in the possessive case, but the point of this little mnemonic device is to remind us that the possessive 'its' never, ever has an apostrophe. Once I learned this little rule as a kid, the whole 'its-it's' question was put to bed forever.

The cat is quite chagrined when the dog eats its puke. No apostrophe, because this is a possessive 'its'.

When 'it's' is a contraction for 'it is', then you use the apostrophe to replace the missing 'i' from the word 'is'.

It's pretty gross to sit around and watch a bunch of dogs eat cat puke.

Given these rules for 'its' and 'it's', it follows that there is NO SUCH WORD as its' with an external apostrophe. I would insert an example here about dogs and cats and vomit consumption, but there is no example because there is no such word as its'.

That is all.

3. Your vs. you're.

Your is the possessive of you.

You're is the contraction of you are.

Your punctuation is awful, and it's killing me, but you're a'ight.

The punctuation YOU POSSESS (your) is awful, and IT IS (contracted to it's) killing me, but YOU ARE (contracted to you're) alright (redneck contracted to a'ight).

That is all.

4. There-Their-They're

There: a place. Over there. Interchangeable with 'yonder'.

Their: plural possessive. It's their house. Their body odor is intolerable.

They're: contraction of they are.

They're going to eat their lunch over there.

That is all.


[link to barnhardt.biz]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24630895
United States
09/29/2012 12:24 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24622497
United Kingdom
09/29/2012 12:34 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
Good post!

One of the best American grammatical faux pas, which I see time and time again, is "for all intensive purposes."

Another, of course, is "you are prejudice."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24624201
Denmark
09/29/2012 12:36 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
'Lets eat grandma' or 'lets eat, grandma' makes a big difference also!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24616559
United Kingdom
09/29/2012 12:38 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
I respect your valiant effort OP, but had you started your piece with 'First:' instead of 'First,', I'd be literally in awe.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24622497
United Kingdom
09/29/2012 12:39 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
'Lets eat grandma' or 'lets eat, grandma' makes a big difference also!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24624201


It should be "let's", as in let us. "grandma" should be capitalized.
Psych

User ID: 903456
Netherlands
09/29/2012 12:40 PM

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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
your
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24421874
Canada
09/29/2012 12:40 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
What OP you dont like ppl who spell and use improper grammer all the time its like so cool though to spell wrong and type like your a 5 year old with no skills whatsoever which makes me think most of the ppl on here are children who have nothing better to do
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24622497
United Kingdom
09/29/2012 12:42 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
:your:
 Quoting: Psych


I, of course, being British, do not speak, read or write any other language than English, the planet's lingua franca!

(Did you see what I did, there?)
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24630895
United States
09/29/2012 12:44 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
I respect your valiant effort OP, but had you started your piece with 'First:' instead of 'First,', I'd be literally in awe.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24616559


It's a copy 'n paste, but I salute your good catch. ;)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24624201
Denmark
09/29/2012 12:51 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
'Lets eat grandma' or 'lets eat, grandma' makes a big difference also!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24624201


It should be "let's", as in let us. "grandma" should be capitalized.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24622497



Awww darnit you got me! I take it I won't be winning the grammar award!
afro
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11888060
Australia
09/29/2012 12:55 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
thanks op

it's sad to see the degradation of literacy skills, ironically it seems to be caused by the internet - a medium based mostly on text.

sadder still is that this de-volution is creeping into published works and edited media.

there were 2 rules there I wasn't aware of. now i am. that wasn't so hard.

and yeah i know i'm slack with my capitals. i don't find them necessary in informal text.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1071414
United States
09/29/2012 12:56 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
OK, if we're going to be complaining in public about things that matter only to people with psychological malfunctions (grammar Nazi protocols)I'll dump my own into the mix.


Comma ussage:

The rules for commas are very subjective, and ultimately indicate a slight pause in speach, to indicate pacing.

That's all. You may have been taught in school that the word "and" always has a comma in front of it. You may have been shown that it never does...

But it is actually variable and the truth is that there are no hard and fast comma rules!

Trying to be a Nazi on the topic only means you're poorly educated.

The best "rule" I've ever seen for comma ussage is to read the sentence out loud. If you pause at any point, so that what you read sounds correct to you, slap in a comma.

This is something that Grammar Nazis get wrong all the time!

Basically, if you complain about comma's you're probably the one that's wrong.

ALSO...

Sentence fragments.

In literary works and those that are supposed to mimic human speach patterns, they're allowable, even if you're fifth grade teacher would have given you a frowny face for them.

The technical writting used in school was always different than what is used in literary works.

The idea was to stadardize things for simplicity, knowing that the vast majority of people would never write a book, so they didn't teach you all the rules.

End rant.
groganzolo

User ID: 24621026
United Kingdom
09/29/2012 01:52 PM

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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
First, apostrophes, which are particularly, especially near and dear to my heart, and so horrifically abused. Yes, I'm talking to you, and you know who you are. Dude, you're killing me.

First, apostrophes have NOTHING to do with plurality. Nothing. The plural of 'cat' is 'cats'. Let's use 'cats' in a sentence:

The insane woman who lives across the road has seventy cats inside her house.

NOT:

The insane woman who lives across the road has seventy cat's inside her house. WRONG! BAD! KILLING ME!!

If you put apostrophes into plural words, people will think that you are stupid, even if you aren't. It is that simple.

Second, apostrophes are used to show POSSESSION.

If the cat possesses something, then it is "the cat's". For example:

The dog's favorite treat is eating the cat's puke.

The PUKE belongs to the cat, so it is the CAT'S puke. As an added bonus in this sentence, the FAVORITE TREAT is the possession of the dog, so it is the DOG'S favorite treat. Possession, possession, possession.

Now, if the dog in question lived in the crazy woman's house with seventy cats and the the dog ate the puke from many or all of the seventy cats, that sentence would be:

The dog's favorite treat is eating the cats' puke.

When you have a plural word that is also possessive, the apostrophe goes on the outside of the 's'.

Completing the progression, if the crazy woman had multiple puke-eating dogs instead of just one, that sentence would be:

The dogs' favorite treat is eating the cats' puke.

Thirdly, apostrophes are used to indicate a CONTRACTION. 'Do not' becomes 'don't'. We put the apostrophe between the 'n' and the 't' because we have removed the 'o' in 'not'. The apostrophe goes in the place of the missing letter or letters.

Are not becomes aren't.
I have becomes I've.
She had and she would become She'd
Contraction, contraction, contraction.

Fourthly, the words 'it's' and 'its' must have their respective rules memorized. It is quite easy to distinguish between the two if you simply remember this mnemonic device:

IT can never possess anything.

Now certainly the word 'it' is used in the possessive case, but the point of this little mnemonic device is to remind us that the possessive 'its' never, ever has an apostrophe. Once I learned this little rule as a kid, the whole 'its-it's' question was put to bed forever.

The cat is quite chagrined when the dog eats its puke. No apostrophe, because this is a possessive 'its'.

When 'it's' is a contraction for 'it is', then you use the apostrophe to replace the missing 'i' from the word 'is'.

It's pretty gross to sit around and watch a bunch of dogs eat cat puke.

Given these rules for 'its' and 'it's', it follows that there is NO SUCH WORD as its' with an external apostrophe. I would insert an example here about dogs and cats and vomit consumption, but there is no example because there is no such word as its'.

That is all.

3. Your vs. you're.

Your is the possessive of you.

You're is the contraction of you are.

Your punctuation is awful, and it's killing me, but you're a'ight.

The punctuation YOU POSSESS (your) is awful, and IT IS (contracted to it's) killing me, but YOU ARE (contracted to you're) alright (redneck contracted to a'ight).

That is all.

4. There-Their-They're

There: a place. Over there. Interchangeable with 'yonder'.

Their: plural possessive. It's their house. Their body odor is intolerable.

They're: contraction of they are.

They're going to eat their lunch over there.

That is all.


[link to barnhardt.biz]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24630895




It's been pissing me off for ages too. ffs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24635298
Japan
09/29/2012 01:57 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
This one freaks me out:

"The panda eats shoots and leaves." (Describes what the panda eats).

"The panda eats, shoots and leaves." (Panda has a meal, then uses a gun to to kill somebody and then leaves).

A single comma makes all the difference. redface
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20362974
United States
09/29/2012 01:57 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
Please don't get offended OP but I have run across people who always complained about others grammer/punctuation and those people who always complained tend to be from the lower income bracket and drive older model cars. I am not saying that this is you I am just saying that this is what I have concluded from my observations.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17090286
United States
09/29/2012 01:58 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
For those that think you spell "a lot" as one word:

[link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24599639
United States
09/29/2012 02:00 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
Are you Ann Barnhardt?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24622497
United Kingdom
09/29/2012 02:00 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
This one freaks me out:

"The panda eats shoots and leaves." (Describes what the panda eats).

"The panda eats, shoots and leaves." (Panda has a meal, then uses a gun to to kill somebody and then leaves).

A single comma makes all the difference. redface
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24635298


"Eats, shoots and leaves" is a classic!

No wonder non-English speakers find English difficult to learn.

It's so nuanced, and one word can have many meanings, dependent on context.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17090286
United States
09/29/2012 02:00 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
This one freaks me out:

"The panda eats shoots and leaves." (Describes what the panda eats).

"The panda eats, shoots and leaves." (Panda has a meal, then uses a gun to to kill somebody and then leaves).

A single comma makes all the difference. redface
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24635298


"Let's eat, Grandma!"

"Let's eat Grandma!"

A comma makes all the difference.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24599639
United States
09/29/2012 02:03 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
For those that think you spell "a lot" as one word:

[link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com]
 Quoting: Cave Johnson


"Those who think..."
People are not things to be described as 'that'.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17090286
United States
09/29/2012 02:04 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
For those that think you spell "a lot" as one word:

[link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com]
 Quoting: Cave Johnson


"Those who think..."
People are not things to be described as 'that'.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24599639


I shall now blow my brains out for the cause!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10393879
United States
09/29/2012 02:05 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
stfugrammer Nazi's your all sick'o's
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17090286
United States
09/29/2012 02:06 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
stfugrammer Nazi's your all sick'o's
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10393879


:grammarnazi:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11888060
Australia
09/29/2012 02:07 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
Please don't get offended OP but I have run across people who always complained about others grammer/punctuation and those people who always complained tend to be from the lower income bracket and drive older model cars. I am not saying that this is you I am just saying that this is what I have concluded from my observations.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20362974


you are correct. it doesn't take intelligence to make money.
wealth is usually acquired from hard work, motivation, and plain old opportunism.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24622497
United Kingdom
09/29/2012 02:14 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
stfugrammer Nazi's your all sick'o's
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10393879


cruise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1669698
Germany
09/29/2012 02:15 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
Thank fuck some people still care. Thank you! :-)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24596610
United Kingdom
09/29/2012 02:18 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24637307
Ireland
09/29/2012 02:19 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
"The panda eats, shoots and leaves." (Panda has a meal, then uses a gun to to kill somebody and then leaves)

Meaning is also important when it comes to words. Shoots does not necessarily indicate that someone is killed. The Panda may have shot into the air. Or, indeed, the Panda may have fired a crossbow.
:)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24622497
United Kingdom
09/29/2012 02:20 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
"The panda eats, shoots and leaves." (Panda has a meal, then uses a gun to to kill somebody and then leaves)

Meaning is also important when it comes to words. Shoots does not necessarily indicate that someone is killed. The Panda may have shot into the air. Or, indeed, the Panda may have fired a crossbow.
:)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24637307


I believe Pandas have been shown to be smart enough to operate an M-4 rifle! And a grenade-launcher.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24637307
Ireland
09/29/2012 02:21 PM
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Re: Spelling, grammar and punctuation matter. Let's go over a few things.
Aye..therein lies the necessity to be specific.

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