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What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites

 
DallasDog
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09/30/2012 09:40 PM
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What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
I'm looking for insight here, if anybody can help

My husband has just turned 48. He's been fired a few times in the past few years because of the crappy economy, not because of his performance

I have tried my best to be supportive and helpful, and helped find him his last job, but money was tight and I know he felt embarrassed and let down

However, now he is getting nasty and cranky

He hardly talks at dinner, is always checking his cell phone and ipad, and reading twitter...so I checked his twitter account, and it's perplexing

He's following women who seem to be total c*nts or call girls...lots of people who laugh about being drunks and drugged up

I love humor, dark humor, sexy humor...but I can't even find anything fun or witty in what they say.

Now I just noticed there are 4 or 5 dating sites following him, and it isn't temporary.

Why would a dating site or matchmaker be following someone's twitter account?

He tells me it is just accidental, but he only has 50 followers, and these dating sites and matchmakers been following him for a few months now

in addition, he is following women like this:

twitter.com/Kuntspeak

twitter.com/yourcatastrophy

twitter.com/Jazzzzzmina

twitter.com/BristolSweets

twitter.com/SassyMcMelons

but at home, he has not been interested in sex for a long time. That began about the time he lost his job the second time

These days I usually have to initiate

and no, I have not let myself go, I'm not a lazy bitch, I look at least 10 years younger than my age, and men often flirt with me

I've been lurking on this site long enough to know I'll get slammed and insulted by men with issues, but I am seriously hoping someone can give me some insight

I am trying my best to be sympathetic to someone I know must be going through a difficult situation, piled on top of normal mid life crises issues

He was always the nicest stand up guy, never nasty, never rude, always polite to people...I don't understand the change

I just want to understand what I am dealing with and if someone has ever been in this situation
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 09:42 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
the anima
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 09:43 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Oh boy, sorry to say Op sounds kinda obvious to me!
Nickadeemus

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09/30/2012 09:45 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Have nothing intelligent to say except I'm so sorry you're going through this. As a male, if I were responsible for the actions that you're describing, I would have been cheating now for a little while. Hope it helps.

Nick®
pbwu
Pure Life; Get it on...
DallasDog (OP)

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09/30/2012 09:59 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Have nothing intelligent to say except I'm so sorry you're going through this. As a male, if I were responsible for the actions that you're describing, I would have been cheating now for a little while. Hope it helps.

Nick®
pbwu
 Quoting: Nickadeemus


thank you

I have asked him outright if he is seeing someone

he says no

the strange thing is, he is not following any dating sites...just the sluts...but the dating sites are following HIM

isn't that weird?

now he wants to Friday nights for his own...to go "carousing" as he calls it

he says all men get a night to go carousing

we've been married for 20 years, and up until now he would come home on Friday, we would go out, make plans

now he won't even respond to my phone calls while he's out on his nights, nor texts
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 10:05 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
He's cheating it's obvious. you could follow him on his nights out..but would just find out your being cheated on. Leave, while you still have some pride..and don't wait for him to bring home an STD.
user123

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09/30/2012 10:10 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
It does look as though your hubby is up to a bit of the auld heave-ho else where.

Personally my woman lets me go out when ever I want, with no questions asked, both parties need time apart. Let him go out carousing as he calls it.

I know I couldnt bare to spend every free minute of my time with my other half. It would drive me insane, and I know I would her also.

On the other hand, you'll maybe get closure on the whole thing, he's a bloke and as smart as we like to think we are. We always slip up somewhere along the line, so if he is banging some other chick while hes out carousing im sure you'll find out.

On the other hand maybe you could find out what it is that girls like SassyMcMelons have that turn him on?
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 10:11 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
SassyMcMelons cruise
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 10:12 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
doesn't have to mean he is cheating. When I signed up for twitter I had several dating sites follow me and I in no way am interested in dating anyone, I'm female, married. Anyone can follow you on twitter. I keep getting emails from eharmony and match.com and I have no idea how they got my email in the first place.
DallasDog (OP)

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09/30/2012 10:32 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
doesn't have to mean he is cheating. When I signed up for twitter I had several dating sites follow me and I in no way am interested in dating anyone, I'm female, married. Anyone can follow you on twitter. I keep getting emails from eharmony and match.com and I have no idea how they got my email in the first place.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13588462


thanks for that...

I know it looks bad :(

I just don't want to jump to conclusions if the man is only blowing off steam and letting anger out somewhere
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 10:44 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
If yo really want to know, hire a private dick!
DallasDog (OP)

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09/30/2012 10:46 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
SassyMcMelons cruise
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


yeah, I didn't know there were posters like her out there...

I hate to be naive, but why?

do they make money like this? do they get clients?

wtf?

unless I had seen them on my husband's twitter feed, I would never have known there were people like this out there....

that person's self-description:

@SassyMcMelons
Dad was a dock worker and mom a whore that worked the pier. These are the memoirs of a slut.


and one of the ones following him:

Naked RN ‏ @NakedRN
Tell me where it hurts...

___________________________________________
BillTheKat
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09/30/2012 10:52 PM

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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Time to hire a divorce lawyer!

Get out while you still can.

BTW: about twitter.com/SassyMcMelons...

That's a good one, laughed for 10 minutes at that, but the one that really killed me was twitter.com/Kuntspeak...

My ribs hurt from laughing at that one!!!

Seriously though, if he's sitting up all night beating off to tweets, you need to pack your bag and shag ass as fast as you can, especially if he wants nothing to do with you and is nasty and cranky like you said.

Get out now. If you have kids, take them with you.

Shark44

Last Edited by Mister Shadow on 09/30/2012 10:52 PM
I have so much debt, I can start a government.
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 10:52 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
He's cheating it's obvious. you could follow him on his nights out..but would just find out your being cheated on. Leave, while you still have some pride..and don't wait for him to bring home an STD.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24567565


Not necessarily. He might just be fantasizing.
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 10:53 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
On twitter anyone can follow anyone,unless block followers of your account. Is it possible that your husband just doesn't take too much notice to who follows him? Troll accounts, like those you listed will follow everyone and anyone. A mildly smart person would not use his or her main account to cheat, sounds like you, imo, have nothing to worry about, my 2 cents.pigchef
DallasDog (OP)

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09/30/2012 10:56 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Time to hire a divorce lawyer!

Get out while you still can.

BTW: about twitter.com/SassyMcMelons...

That's a good one, laughed for 10 minutes at that, but the one that really killed me was twitter.com/Kuntspeak...

My ribs hurt from laughing at that one!!!

Seriously though, if he's sitting up all night beating off to tweets, you need to pack your bag and shag ass as fast as you can, especially if he wants nothing to do with you and is nasty and cranky like you said.

Get out now. If you have kids, take them with you.

Shark44
 Quoting: BillTheKat


damn

I really do not want to leave..I'm the kind who always thought I would stay married, not quit if it got difficult

I know people go through phases...men go through them too, and I know mid-life is a tough time for a guy, especially if he feels short on money and under pressure at work

I'm just trying to gauge what is real, what is temporary

the disrespect, especially in front of friends, however, is really getting to me. It's reached the point that most friends say they don't like the way he treats me....and the few times I've mentioned it, he doesn't care. He just says

"fine, then I won't see them anymore if they don't like the way I am..."

its like someone else has taken over his body...he was never like this
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 11:00 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
i get trash in my email all the time with come ons from women claiming to know me! It may be innocent... social networking is a tangeled web of connections- not all are known
DallasDog (OP)

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09/30/2012 11:03 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
i get trash in my email all the time with come ons from women claiming to know me! It may be innocent... social networking is a tangeled web of connections- not all are known
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1898146


Well, in the case of PlentyofFish and DatingBaldMen, I check who they are following, and it isn't that many people who they follow
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 11:04 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
I have been spamed by adult dating sites on twitter, they just start following you idk why. Or just all sorts of random spam/fake accounts on twitter.

I wouldn't worry too much. Worst case he's probably looking at half naked pics of Twitter sluts and maybe attempting to flirt.
DallasDog (OP)

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09/30/2012 11:04 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Also, I have had a twitter account since 2009, and I don't have any dating sites following me....
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 11:07 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
damn

I really do not want to leave..I'm the kind who always thought I would stay married, not quit if it got difficult

I know people go through phases...men go through them too, and I know mid-life is a tough time for a guy, especially if he feels short on money and under pressure at work

I'm just trying to gauge what is real, what is temporary

the disrespect, especially in front of friends, however, is really getting to me. It's reached the point that most friends say they don't like the way he treats me....and the few times I've mentioned it, he doesn't care. He just says

"fine, then I won't see them anymore if they don't like the way I am..."

its like someone else has taken over his body...he was never like this
 Quoting: DallasDog


He feels guilty for his inability to live up to the promises he made himself about how he was going to take care of you. He feels like a failure. He is probably trying to push you away so that you do not have to see him being a failure and so that he will no longer feel the guilt of being unable to provide. If, as you say, you have had a good marriage thus far, then if he suddenly finds himself gainfully and successfully employed, this nasty behavior will stop. This "fine, then I won't see them anymore if they don't like the way I am..." is pure defensiveness. You need to find some way to break through his defensiveness and talk to him and let him know that he does not need this guilt. That you are in it together, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I know nothing about him so I have no idea how you will break through his defensiveness and get him to talk.
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 11:08 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
That is a real bummer and it is very clear what he is and has been doing. Just read it again and think for a minute....those people are right about the STD part---My brother in law's wife just left he because he gave her a STD...yikes! Hope all works out for you :)
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 11:12 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
see what happens if he comes home after a night of carousing and you arent there.

then give him one chance.

let him KNOW he only has one chance to straighten up.

if he continues with the shit, lose the loser.it's not worth it
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 11:24 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Have nothing intelligent to say except I'm so sorry you're going through this. As a male, if I were responsible for the actions that you're describing, I would have been cheating now for a little while. Hope it helps.

Nick®
:pbwu:
 Quoting: Nickadeemus


thank you

I have asked him outright if he is seeing someone

he says no

the strange thing is, he is not following any dating sites...just the sluts...but the dating sites are following HIM

isn't that weird?

now he wants to Friday nights for his own...to go "carousing" as he calls it

he says all men get a night to go carousing

we've been married for 20 years, and up until now he would come home on Friday, we would go out, make plans

now he won't even respond to my phone calls while he's out on his nights, nor texts
 Quoting: DallasDog


It's the cookies on Facebook, they exchange info between people and their lifestyles etc....the people he is friends with go to these places or he may browsed at one time.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1898146
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09/30/2012 11:30 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Also, I have had a twitter account since 2009, and I don't have any dating sites following me....
 Quoting: DallasDog


Perhaps you are not looking at porn...

all this crap is linked... it is a sespool... just look at what we have to look at for ads here on GLP...its's a;; in your face and a click tells em you are interested...
DallasDog (OP)

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09/30/2012 11:31 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Have nothing intelligent to say except I'm so sorry you're going through this. As a male, if I were responsible for the actions that you're describing, I would have been cheating now for a little while. Hope it helps.

Nick®
pbwu
 Quoting: Nickadeemus


thank you

I have asked him outright if he is seeing someone

he says no

the strange thing is, he is not following any dating sites...just the sluts...but the dating sites are following HIM

isn't that weird?

now he wants to Friday nights for his own...to go "carousing" as he calls it

he says all men get a night to go carousing

we've been married for 20 years, and up until now he would come home on Friday, we would go out, make plans

now he won't even respond to my phone calls while he's out on his nights, nor texts
 Quoting: DallasDog


It's the cookies on Facebook, they exchange info between people and their lifestyles etc....the people he is friends with go to these places or he may browsed at one time.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24283440


he deleted his face book 4 years ago, so I don't think that is it...

these are more of the women he follows...

Emmerson McGinnis ‏ @Momfia
SlutWaffle. Writer for hire. Irish-American binge drinker with enough rage to fuel her fire & liquor to ignite her desires

Meat Balloon ‏ @TheBlessMess
Rock 'n' Roll Queen. CEO of my vagina. Instigator. John Candy's love child. One half of Fingerbang Radio with Adie and Shaan.

Zillah Gashlycrumb ‏ @msloulou
I once starred in an off-Broadway musical about a girl with a transgender father called 'Daddy Pees Sitting Now'.

Brandi ‏ @CovertPervert
Wife. Mother. Astrological sign: Feces. Likes: Long walks on the beach and Tijuana donkey shows.

and then lots and lots about going out to drink, like this:

SusieDrinksDallas ‏ @drinkdallas
my name should say it all.


I should mention he barely drinks in the house, maybe a glass or two of wine, but now insists on going to whiskey bars solo on a Friday night, and may be there tonight, even though he says he is at the office
nature girl

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09/30/2012 11:32 PM

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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Well OP I was initially going to tell you that he is probably addicted to porn of ALL types. IPAD to watch and TWITTER to read. But now he wants to run around on Friday nights? If he hasn't cheated already, he is looking to.

I would definitely follow him. Get the proof (pictures) and then kick him out. You are the bread winner so you can't take him to the cleaners financially but you will at least have the proof that he is the one that SCREWED up. He may think twice about getting your 401k or other assets that you may have once he knows you have the proof.
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BillTheKat
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09/30/2012 11:34 PM

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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
Get out now. If you have kids, take them with you.

 Quoting: BillTheKat


damn

I really do not want to leave..I'm the kind who always thought I would stay married, not quit if it got difficult

I know people go through phases...men go through them too, and I know mid-life is a tough time for a guy, especially if he feels short on money and under pressure at work

I'm just trying to gauge what is real, what is temporary

the disrespect, especially in front of friends, however, is really getting to me. It's reached the point that most friends say they don't like the way he treats me....and the few times I've mentioned it, he doesn't care. He just says

"fine, then I won't see them anymore if they don't like the way I am..."

its like someone else has taken over his body...he was never like this
 Quoting: DallasDog


Stop rationalizing and get out while you can.

I would not say this if I did not care. I've seen to many friends and co-workers miserable because of a spouse cheating on them.

Get Out Now.
I have so much debt, I can start a government.
Debauchery

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09/30/2012 11:34 PM

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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
He's lost interest in you and wants to cheat.

It's not a big mystery.

Kick his ass out.
And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." Amen.
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 11:48 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
feedtroll
Anonymous Coward
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09/30/2012 11:51 PM
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Re: What does this mean: My husband's Twitter Account is followed by 6 dating sites
doesn't have to mean he is cheating. When I signed up for twitter I had several dating sites follow me and I in no way am interested in dating anyone, I'm female, married. Anyone can follow you on twitter. I keep getting emails from eharmony and match.com and I have no idea how they got my email in the first place.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13588462


Yeah I was going to say, it's not his fault that someone is following him especially some spam/commercial accounts.. he could go back through and take the time to block them but after so many followers it becomes annoying to do manually.

He does have a choice who he follows though, obviously.

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