Oh, there should also be an "Armageddon Phrase," something that would make you drink everything at one go and light up a bowl or two.

If Romney says, "Colored people."

If Obama says, "Whitey."

Chances are about 1mil to 1, but, you know, when people get testy, they make mistakes . . .

And, of course, we should all get absolutely shitfaced and set fire to our homes if they get into a fistfight.

That would be sublime.