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I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.

 
crustyoldangel
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10/03/2012 08:52 PM
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I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Yep, another reveal thread - huzzah! I expect at LEAST 5 "bs" flags by the time I come back.

Warning - written in notepad... sorry for formatting errors!

Hello everyone, I am the Archangel Michael. Of course, it doesn't matter since I'm "power gimped"... but after reading the 144+page from walt's thread where he 'revealed', I was compelled to give something a little more meaningful than the 'same old crazy' everyone is used to. And since it won't matter/doesn't matter I can get away with this :)

AKA: The first Angel of Vengeance, Gevurah, Sabbathiel, "the old battle axe of god" - my
favorite description btw, I occasionally masquerade as the demon Asmodae (it's called
covert intelligence, get over it), etc. There's quite literally too many to list. You
may know me from such shows as "the guy who threw the devil into the pit", "the
Arch-Viceroy of heaven", "The Time Spirit", and other fantastic shows that most people
think are just a bunch of bullshit anyways.

You know, totally different from the thousands of others who claim that, right? I can't
do 'miracles' (at this time). I have limited power (at least it's something) and as such will not be able to
prove myself to the thousands of disbelievers (Good for you! I appreciate skepticism -
people who have the intelligence to question what they read/see/hear are my preferred
kind of people!). I can offer you a sort of proof in numerological significances to my
name & birthdate. At best it's a proof, at worst an odd curiosity. I think it's pretty
risky for me to give this much info about myself but some cursory google searches online
with this info didn't turn anything up. So I feel relatively safe. I pray I don't ever regret it.

I respectfully ask you don't use this information to find me in the physical, give me problems, harass me, etc. I'm not worried about demons. Most of them already know who I am anyways. But I do worry about the average internet troll - some of those can be worse than demons, you know? :P If you find something .. uh specific like say my home phone number or address do me a big favor and don't post it, k? Thanks. I appreciate it.

Proofs and/or Odd things about that crazy guy online:
My "Number" angelically is three. I was the third created angel therefore... #3. That said, it also represents godlike perfection when you see things in trio's. Holy hell that sounds really really narcissistic. Well, whatever. You'll see a lot of threes, so bear that in mind.

Born 08/28/80
Turned 28 on 08/28/08. (Was a very boring birthday too!)
28 has special significance in mathematics and in the fractal/recursive universe. Not to mention the Jewish solar cycle, Power in Gematriya, the female reproductive cycle, is the numerical value of "good" in Hebrew, and of course (you'll see a lot of this) cyclic energy in numerology.

Name is Michael Matthew Mxxxxxx (no last name will be give for security purposes)
M is the 13th letter.
- this is not an unlucky number but represents naturalized mystical energy/divinity as
well as challenge.
Did you know the number 13 is used... you guessed it ... 28 times in the bible?
And that there's 28 chapters to the book of Matthew? Kind of spooky O_O

Each segment of my name is 7 digits long.
7 is another divine number.
As is 21, the sum of 7x3.
21 represents the creation/destruction cycle as well as perfection by excellence.
Subtract 7 from 28 & you get 21.
8+2+8+8 = 26. 2+6=8.
Just a little bit of number fun for you :)
The number 8 represents the entrance of the covenant with god, or the 8th day (adam/eve)
It also represents continuity in cycles as well as perfection in natural cycles.
It is also an extremely holy number.

Seriously, I could do this all day long. There's too much here to keep delving into, so let's move on. Feel free to add what you find! And no, I won't post my last name. God
help me, I don't need that kind of attention.
The FAQ - just because I don't want to sift through 3000 pages of people asking the same
ten items over and over.

Why here? - Disinfo/Attention starved peeps aside, this is where the cool kids hang out.
Why now? - I'm bored and am being compelled to do so. This compulsion usually comes from
divine will. That and seriously - giant douche vs turd sandwich doesn't appeal to me.
Youtube channel? Yep. Under a pseudonym.
Other id's online? Also - same thing. Pseudonyms, various - good luck finding my other accounts.
Games? WOW and FPS games mostly. No, I don't want you playing with me. Life is hard enough that I'm sure I will regret doing this considerably later. Why add to the pain?
Will the world end 12/21/12 - no idea. I don't think so. My understanding is that 'shit
gets real' in 2013, which would imply that 2012 means a whole lot of nothing.
Do you know any other languages? Nope. Tiny human brain, huuuuuuge understanding meant I couldn't bring it all with me - same as the rest of you (I don't need to explain that do I?). I can speak about 10-80 words in about 20-30 languages. Mostly just because I like to say the odd bit here and there.
Personality type? INTJ.
Do I possess foreknowledge? Yep - but not much.
Am I prescient - nope. But I'm REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY good at extrapolating the future.
That's kind of why I kick so much ass when kicking ass.
Why are you here? No fucking clue. Part of the mission is that I don't know my mission.
Most all I know is "it's the hardest thing I'll ever do (it has been)", that this is the last time I'll be here in this form, and that major changes will commence in my life time for humanity. My understanding is that the secrecy is necessary for God to keep me as an 'ace in the hole'.
Hobbies - most of this will be pretty transparent but here goes: Video games. Martial arts (For over 18 years now). Guns (I'm a competitive shooter). Weapons based combat
(fencing & stickfighting). Computers. Camping. Survivalism. My earthly family. Robotics. Programming. Artificial intelligence. Magnetics. Numerology. Quantum physics.
Have I ever revealed anywhere else before? Not online. IRL I did and it landed me (self admitted) in the mental health ward for about two months. Ironically at a CATHOLIC RUN mental ward before I was released as being decisively not crazy but rather as a result of 'environmentally induced stress'.
"What lottery is going to win on xyz date?" - I'm not a damn fortune teller. Go find the yellow pages for that someone to read your palms or something.
I am *NOT* Jesus. Though we are friends, mostly. Nor am I the second coming, though I will tell you he lives in Texas and can be kind of dickish - though he is a nice being at
his core - he doesn't take the trials well. I wish I had more power to help him with them. I'm flattered so many people think I'm Jesus/version 2 though. Unfortunately - I'm not a real nice being and if you looked into the line of angelic work I'm in you'd understand that.
Do I know any other Angels/Archangels in corporeal form? A few. No, I won't name them as frankly that's kind of rude. No, you don't likely know any. Veritably NONE are famous, though we are scattered around the world. No I'm not going to 'confirm' you online so you can validate your own insecurities. Yes, I'm potentially being a hypocrite. Deal with it :)

What's with all the pretenders? OPSEC. Security through obscurity. Even this post won't matter because this is a disbeliever's paradise. So I'm literally pissing in the wind. At least, that is what I'm telling myself. Most are deluded, with a gentle nudge from one of my cohorts or an actual proxy working directly for me.

Do I have any children? Yes, I was permitted to have a son.
Am I married? Yep. Happily - though we have our spats.
To an angel? Nope. A human, thank god. She's awesome.
Why not an angel? Most angels are assholes, myself included. Once again, consider it a product of our work.
Does she know? Yep. We live a relatively quiet life. She doesn't know about this thread though and would probably crucify me (see what I did there?) if she knew.
Favorite TV Shows: Currently? Bob's burgers - awesome show. Supernatural is good for some laughs- I love the irreverence of it, tons of anime :X, some others I can't really think. I really watch whatever strikes my fancy.
Are you crazy? Probably. Frankly everyone is. But the reality is that I don't let it affect my life at all - I live as a normal joe doing normal joe things until the day of judgement when I'm called.

Are there any physical signs on your person? Yep - a mark which is completely unique to me which I cannot reveal. No other human has this physical characteristic. Note - it's not a skin characteristic, but a change in my cartilage.

I am not all knowing, I am not all seeing. I'm not multipresent. I'm a soul of an archangel in a human body here to serve a specific mission fate which is mostly unknown to me. All the others are there deliberately to obfuscate certain parties from finding me. Even this post won't matter because they can't even be absolutely sure themselves until I get 'unlocked'. SEEMS LEGIT RIGHT? That's all.

Powers - Compulsion. I can override weaker wills quite easily, especially when they're in an alpha state when driving. Makes it especially easy to get to work on time. Rain - I can make it rain pretty easily over my location barring it's not some holiday and everyone wants it to be sunny out. Complete muscular control - I can overload my muscles to perform feats of strength with the downside being I still incur physical injury. Time control: I can exert small to moderate changes over time; example: I've made a 300 mile trip in an hour and a half going 80mph. Ironically that was on 9/10/01, go figure! That one is very tricky and difficult to do. In short, these powers are worthless woo-woo merely to appease me I believe. But hey, at least I'm still a tricky, intelligent bastard. That counts for something, right?


Sorry. No ominous warnings of impending HARP-caused earthquakes that never surface. You may notice I'm a bit goofy/sarcastic. That's kind of how I roll. After you get old enough you stop (mostly) being crotchety and 'get off my lawn' and just kind of relegate to a sort of lighthearted/semi-serious note for things like this.
With that - please fire away with some intelligent and interesting questions! I'm going to go run play some WOW and come back to see what I've got. Then I'll probably go drink away my sorrows from all the hurtful words.
:)

PS - F*ck the GFL. I hate those idiots. And no, I'm not trolling. I'm just being me - in every sense.
No, seriously - the real Archangel Michael :P

SEE MY SIGNATURE EVEN SAYS SO.
crustyoldangel (OP)

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10/03/2012 08:55 PM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Just an addendum: turd sandwich/douche reference = south park reference to presidential debates currently happening. Now as doctor weird would say - LET THE MATING COMMENCE
No, seriously - the real Archangel Michael :P

SEE MY SIGNATURE EVEN SAYS SO.
ANHEDONIC

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10/03/2012 09:16 PM

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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
When you cup your hand do you see an 'M' shape from the lines in your palm?

Last Edited by ANHEDONIC on 10/03/2012 09:17 PM

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
crustyoldangel (OP)

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10/03/2012 09:34 PM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
... I thought everyone had that M. Never really thought it mattered, TBH.

Yeah, I do, it's very clearly defined, even without cupping.

I also have a cross in the center of each hand, also clearly defined.
No, seriously - the real Archangel Michael :P

SEE MY SIGNATURE EVEN SAYS SO.
siniXster

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10/03/2012 09:49 PM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Lmao, love it... You rock old dog!

Had no clue you'd be Earth bound, not at all where I expected to run into you either. Cheers!

It appears we have another massive task to take on, understaffed and overworked as usual...

Last Edited by siniXster on 10/03/2012 10:00 PM
"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore" - Andre Gide

"Given enough time, any man may master the physical. With enough knowledge, any man may become wise. It is the true warrior who can master both....and surpass the result." - Tien T'ai

"All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name." - Andre Breton

"Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink" - Charles Bukowski

Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain - Exerpt Psalm 127:1

Pain and heartbreak are but illusions that we allow our mind to create out of fear, live in love and from your heart and you'll realize that all is as it should be. The lessons we learn from loss are meant to be taken with wisdom and happiness not sadness and remorse. New strength, new love, new life, new wisdom and lessons that propel us forward on our journey back to unity, universal consciousness and true unconditional love. Wow, what an incredibly joyous ride when we see it for what it truly is!- Sin
Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2012 09:58 PM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Before someone else beats me to it: do u know the nobody?

thanks for all them times you've helped me
Anonymous Coward
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10/03/2012 09:59 PM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Oh, and

bsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflag
TDJ

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10/03/2012 10:02 PM

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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
What happened after Keanu Reeves kicked your ass in that awful movie? You were a real bitch in that one.
If something can corrupt you, you're corrupted already.

Bob Marley

“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.”
THOMAS PAINE (1737-1809)

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. Bruce Lee
ANHEDONIC

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10/03/2012 10:10 PM

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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
... I thought everyone had that M. Never really thought it mattered, TBH.

Yeah, I do, it's very clearly defined, even without cupping.

I also have a cross in the center of each hand, also clearly defined.
 Quoting: crustyoldangel


Palms are unique to individuals.

I have an 'M' as well, and my name is Michael.

I am not religious but someone once told me I was born in the essence of Archangel Michael and this individual didn't know my first name, so that struck a chord with me. After some reading I feel there is some connection there.

I don't personally subscribe to the claims of other individuals when they claim to be so and so in a previous life, but my intention is not to debunk you or to convince you otherwise. That's your belief and you have a right to it if you so choose. At the very least I would imagine you have or feel a similar connection like I do.

Here is a write-up that someone emailed me once and it resonated with my nature/personality. You may enjoy reading it:

[link to morningstar.netfirms.com]

Last Edited by ANHEDONIC on 10/03/2012 10:30 PM

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 09:07 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
[link to imageshack.us]

Sorry guys. I suppose I'll have to wait out the ban.
Serenity777

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10/04/2012 09:13 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
No you're not...

And if you have no power...then you're of no use, hence, making you a human which means...You're not the Archangel Michael,

Good day...

bsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflag

Last Edited by Serenity777 on 10/04/2012 09:13 AM
watching the "run up" to the elections and the "hopes and dreams" that are built as a result is like watching a dead mouse that is still able to make his exercise wheel go around because his nerves are still twitching that familiar motion...
Serenity777

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10/04/2012 09:16 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Lmao, love it... You rock old dog!

Had no clue you'd be Earth bound, not at all where I expected to run into you either. Cheers!

It appears we have another massive task to take on, understaffed and overworked as usual...
 Quoting: siniXster


This is so sad that its beyond cartoonish...

putin
watching the "run up" to the elections and the "hopes and dreams" that are built as a result is like watching a dead mouse that is still able to make his exercise wheel go around because his nerves are still twitching that familiar motion...
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 09:27 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Dude ....you're supposed to say "ask me a question."

Stupid damn archangels ......
Michael_

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10/04/2012 09:29 AM

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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
What happened after Keanu Reeves kicked your ass in that awful movie? You were a real bitch in that one.
 Quoting: TDJ


Do you mean Constantine? I think that was Gabriel, oh and Lucifer aswell
141

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10/04/2012 09:31 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
hmmm a funny synchronicity...
bc had actually thought of making a thread today, asking for Archangel Michael...
Bc if that if he was here, somehow he would have found glp...

Not knowing whether you are him or not, know it could be possible... Just a nice 'coincidence'

Love and respect
rose
Truth and Love...
Ford44

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10/04/2012 09:31 AM

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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Although I don't believe Michael flew down to Earth and is posing as a human, the truth is I was thinking of the Archangel Michael before logging on, and lo and behold this thread. As a famous movie character once said, there is no coincidence only the illusion of coincidence. So I do believe Michael can speak to me through you.

A while back I was at a low point in my professional life. You told me to post your image on my work desktop and you would give me protection. After a couple of years, and just recently, I have been fired. Many thoughts are running through my head as to what I should do next, and I don't know which career path I should choose.

I do not have any anger against you for me losing my job, as I believe it was done for my protection. My question is, what advice do you have for me?
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 09:43 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Account was banned within an hour or so of making it. Not surprising - just typical interference. Trying to be super gentle here they unban me. I'd even pay the toll but I overextended myself monetarily this pay. On that note - how long do these bans take? I'd like to respond in kind to everyone who's posted on this thread.

Thanks

Mike :)
Ford44

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10/04/2012 10:19 AM

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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
The Archangel Michael, The leader of GOD'S army, the one who cast Satan and his angels from heaven and down to Earth, has himself been cast out of GLP because he is strapped for cash? I guess hard economic times have fallen upon everyone now.

I would not dare to call the great Michael an anonnymous coward, however the irony is that Michael has indeed spoken to me in this way by telling me that you are not him and I should disreguard your posts.

This isn't a game son, there are consequences for impersonating and making light of powers beyond your ken. However, my GOD is a forgiving one, so I believe you should apologize and confess.
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 10:58 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Ford44 Sorry to disappoint...
Frankly, I do very little speaking personally. I usually send a proxy. It's sort of like the dilbert principle. Do you really think you can tell the difference between an archangel and an angel? Moreover that an archangel, one of the seven seraphim who stands in the primary radius of god's emanations can afford to speak to you personally? No, in most cases not. However, we do have subordinates that do a great job.

If you saw a vision and it was a two winged angel, then that's what you got. As I stated, I'm not multipresent and frankly that makes it veritably impossible. If you want to know what I really look like in 'my full glory' - then look for pictures of a red-winged angel, with a total of 8 wings. The feathers are more like fine hairs. That is how I usually look.

Money problems are a fact of life on this planet. Even more so when you're in hostile territory. It's not like I get a personal stipend or anything, though that would have been a nice touch by the old man.

As to impersonation - I'm not worried, primarily because I am who I am; the only impersonations I do are Doctor Nick from the simpsons, a generic bubba impression, and the popsicle guy from family guy.

I'll tell you a secret to being me though: I try not to be terribly prideful; I've seen what that does firsthand. My own personal weakness is my wrathfulness. This isn't some great secret. This is primarily why I've been restrained thus. When I am called in as Rogziel(I expect this is part of my role in this life eventually :X ), things generally get very ugly. As such, I try to crack jokes at my own expense to add some levity to my personality. I've found that doing the high and mighty act really doesn't work out well in this particular form.

As to your job loss/life? The best advice I can give is to not fight the flow. You'll be tempted to do so, but if you're truly being divinely pushed/guided then it will only cause discord.

The rest of you - thanks for reading. And yes - the movie was constantine. Though the scientologist John Travolta's (luciferian) movie of "Michael" really rubs me the wrong way - as it was intended.

And I did say I look forward to your intelligent/interesting questions - which is fairly equivalent to saying ask me anything :)
Michael The Archangel

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10/04/2012 11:03 AM
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Really?
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 11:08 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
The irony of my previous comment is not lost on me.
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 11:13 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
All four theaters of war are in ruins. Now I'm not gonna shake the blame stick too hard, but yours fell first. Mine definitely fell hardest, but still, you couldn't even outpace Cif. That's bad. I'll reiterate... You made Cif look good. That is bad. That's a bad Michael.

Oh well. There's always the next apocalypse.

Who's up for another fall?!

Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 11:22 AM
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The Archangel Michael, The leader of GOD'S army, the one who cast Satan and his angels from heaven and down to Earth, has himself been cast out of GLP because he is strapped for cash?
 Quoting: Ford44


You do realize Satan's minions control all economies/professions/media, I hope?

That includes this board.
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 11:23 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Apocalypse? We're not even in the pre-game warmup yet. Which to be blunt - bothers me on a number of levels.
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 11:26 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
And AGC to supplement what AGC is saying about media control - as I said before ... the usual interference.

The fact that:
* I was banned within an hour of making the account/posting
* IP banned through a proxy browser that I use which is run by a friend as a small private proxy (thus unlikely to be a known proxy server IP)
* IP banned when logging in via TOR
* AND IP banned on my cell phone when attempting to use that

was not lost on me.

But after a few decades in this body dealing with this type of horsesh*t day in and day out - you get sort of used to it.
MURK9

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10/04/2012 11:26 AM
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Lmao, love it... You rock old dog!

Had no clue you'd be Earth bound, not at all where I expected to run into you either. Cheers!

It appears we have another massive task to take on, understaffed and overworked as usual...
 Quoting: siniXster


Too much work to do as it is.
MURK9
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 11:28 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
No you're not...

And if you have no power...then you're of no use, hence, making you a human which means...You're not the Archangel Michael,

Good day...

bsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflagbsflag
 Quoting: Serenity777


He definitely could be. Michael got chumped out a while back, it could be practically anyone. Michael is also a spirit capable possessing almost anyone or anything (even inanimate matter) if his host is incapacitated. It doesn't really matter now though, all his charges defaulted to me and I went on a rampage because everyone lost the fucking plot.

God never blessed the angels with an abundance of brains. They're supposed to be just these hollow empty shells to pilot around with almost no will of their own. That hasn't been the case for quite some time.
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 11:30 AM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Apocalypse? We're not even in the pre-game warmup yet. Which to be blunt - bothers me on a number of levels.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2634699


The game's already over, and clearly, you're not a part of it. This all takes place way outside of time before it's hammered home. The Anima Mundi is clear and everyone's bailing out.
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2012 11:41 AM
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The game's already over, and clearly, you're not a part of it. This all takes place way outside of time before it's hammered home. The Anima Mundi is clear and everyone's bailing out.
 Quoting: AGC


LOL - not quite yet. If what you said is what you believe then why are you still hanging around in this (physical) reality?
MURK9

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10/04/2012 12:14 PM
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Re: I'm the real archangel Michael... no, really.
Apocalypse? We're not even in the pre-game warmup yet. Which to be blunt - bothers me on a number of levels.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2634699


The game's already over, and clearly, you're not a part of it. This all takes place way outside of time before it's hammered home. The Anima Mundi is clear and everyone's bailing out.
 Quoting: AGC


Game has been going on for a long time but not near being over, we are just now getting to the Two minute warning, things are about to become very interesting.

Blessings
Michael.
MURK9
ANHEDONIC

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10/04/2012 12:38 PM

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Apocalypse? We're not even in the pre-game warmup yet. Which to be blunt - bothers me on a number of levels.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2634699


The game's already over, and clearly, you're not a part of it. This all takes place way outside of time before it's hammered home. The Anima Mundi is clear and everyone's bailing out.
 Quoting: AGC


Game has been going on for a long time but not near being over, we are just now getting to the Two minute warning, things are about to become very interesting.

Blessings
Michael.
 Quoting: MURK9


Hey Murk. hi

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"

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