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marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps

 
av
User ID: 25091405
United States
10/06/2012 07:55 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
charge her room and board.
The Myth

User ID: 25003698
Canada
10/06/2012 07:55 PM

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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
Instead of lecturing you about money and how married couples are supposed to act, I'll actually answer your question.

If you are married, legally ANY income if half yours. Everything else is a question of character and morals, which I'll leave for you and your wife to figure out for yourselves.
Wouldn't it be great to heal the world, with only a song?
betty189

User ID: 24524819
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10/06/2012 07:55 PM

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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
my wifes mom came into some money , had a family gathering, she gave each of her kids an envelope each contained 4000 dollars , i asked my wife for 400 for a crossbow , and a bit for survival food stuff...


well she says its hers not mine, weve been married for 12 yrs... im worreid what what will happen if i die will all the money left over be HERS and none go to my kids ...


im hurt , or am i just being greedy... i thought when you got married you became one in ALL respects....


The envelopes containg the money only had her kids name on it...


when i got my inheritence i opaid off her house...

ya know i asked to BORROW the money like id pay her in three cks postdated , she didnt evenm go for that...


like i said im devasataed or IS SHE RIGHT to do this...


im just fkn crushed!!!! i feel like this is the gamechanger ....


OR AM I WRONG ...please help with your opinion
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15323087
shes so used to you paying all the bills no wonder
she thinks shes entitled,you better run to a lawyer and make sure your will has your kids in it,shes taking you
for granted
I wish that I could have this moment for life,cuz in this moment I just feel so alive...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21668065
United States
10/06/2012 07:59 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
my wifes mom came into some money , had a family gathering, she gave each of her kids an envelope each contained 4000 dollars , i asked my wife for 400 for a crossbow , and a bit for survival food stuff...


well she says its hers not mine, weve been married for 12 yrs... im worreid what what will happen if i die will all the money left over be HERS and none go to my kids ...


im hurt , or am i just being greedy... i thought when you got married you became one in ALL respects....


The envelopes containg the money only had her kids name on it...


when i got my inheritence i opaid off her house...

ya know i asked to BORROW the money like id pay her in three cks postdated , she didnt evenm go for that...


like i said im devasataed or IS SHE RIGHT to do this...


im just fkn crushed!!!! i feel like this is the gamechanger ....


OR AM I WRONG ...please help with your opinion
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15323087


Drop the hammer don't come home, then tell her we spitting the bills equally. Starting now. If she doesn't like it then get out. Think of it this way you are a mule pulling her wagon. and she just beat you for not pulling fast enough.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21668065
United States
10/06/2012 08:00 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
my wifes mom came into some money , had a family gathering, she gave each of her kids an envelope each contained 4000 dollars , i asked my wife for 400 for a crossbow , and a bit for survival food stuff...


well she says its hers not mine, weve been married for 12 yrs... im worreid what what will happen if i die will all the money left over be HERS and none go to my kids ...


im hurt , or am i just being greedy... i thought when you got married you became one in ALL respects....


The envelopes containg the money only had her kids name on it...


when i got my inheritence i opaid off her house...

ya know i asked to BORROW the money like id pay her in three cks postdated , she didnt evenm go for that...


like i said im devasataed or IS SHE RIGHT to do this...


im just fkn crushed!!!! i feel like this is the gamechanger ....


OR AM I WRONG ...please help with your opinion
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15323087


Never alone the mother in the house again.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24699241
United States
10/06/2012 08:07 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
Sounds like trouble even before the money came into play. You still refer to it being her house. Borrow money and pay it back in three posted dated checks? You serious? We are talking about your wife for 12 years right? That's what you do to friends and not your wife. Guessing you have kids but not to your current wife? If that's true, yes you need to worry about your kids. Do you know what she is going to do with that 4 grand? If you answer no, that's wrong!
ceawaves

User ID: 23342686
United States
10/06/2012 08:09 PM

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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
She should have shared the money.. had something like that happen to me, didn't feel like it was all mine, but the family's..

If i had done what i felt like doing, would have taken the money an ran.. started a new life with it, i regret not doing that sometimes, OK.. a lot of the time.

Still would have felt like part of it was 'the family's'

Last Edited by ceawaves on 10/06/2012 08:10 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24893000
United States
10/06/2012 08:10 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
You said you pay the bills. Just wondering does your wife get any discretionary $$? If she's a SAHM she might feel like she can't spend any of the family money on herself.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13158115


ive NEVER refused her anything........
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15323087


if she's only thinking of herself, i wouldn't spend another dime on her ass!
The Governor

User ID: 25061971
United States
10/06/2012 08:12 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
my wifes mom came into some money , had a family gathering, she gave each of her kids an envelope each contained 4000 dollars , i asked my wife for 400 for a crossbow , and a bit for survival food stuff...


well she says its hers not mine,
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15323087


Fuck that stupid bitch.

That's my considered, gentle opinion.

My original response is far less polite.
Welcome to Woodbury.

I think being a Democrat should be a felony.

[link to www.policymic.com]
The Governor

User ID: 25061971
United States
10/06/2012 08:14 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
charge her room and board.
 Quoting: av 25091405


yes
Welcome to Woodbury.

I think being a Democrat should be a felony.

[link to www.policymic.com]
PhennommennonnModerator
Senior Forum Moderator

10/06/2012 08:15 PM

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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
my wifes mom came into some money , had a family gathering, she gave each of her kids an envelope each contained 4000 dollars , i asked my wife for 400 for a crossbow , and a bit for survival food stuff...


well she says its hers not mine, weve been married for 12 yrs... im worreid what what will happen if i die will all the money left over be HERS and none go to my kids ...


im hurt , or am i just being greedy... i thought when you got married you became one in ALL respects....


The envelopes containg the money only had her kids name on it...


when i got my inheritence i opaid off her house...

ya know i asked to BORROW the money like id pay her in three cks postdated , she didnt evenm go for that...


like i said im devasataed or IS SHE RIGHT to do this...


im just fkn crushed!!!! i feel like this is the gamechanger ....


OR AM I WRONG ...please help with your opinion
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15323087


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The People Vs Larry Flynt
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you've heard a lot here today and I won't try to go back over it all. But you have to go back in that room and make some decisions and there is one thing I want to make very clear to you before you do. I'm not trying to convince you that you should like what Larry Flynt does. I don't like what he does. But what I do like is... that I live in a country... where you and I can make that decision for ourselves. I like that I live in a country where I can pick up Hustler magazine... read it if I want... or throw it in the trash, if that's where I think it belongs. Or better yet I can express my opinion by not buying it. I like that right. I care about it. And you should care about it, too... because we live in a free country. We say that a lot, but sometimes we forget what that means, so listen again. We live in a free country. That is a powerful idea. That's a magnificent way to live. But there is a price for that freedom, which is that sometimes... we have to tolerate things that we don't necessarily like. So go back in that room... where you are free to think whatever you want to think... about Larry Flynt and Hustler magazine. But then ask yourselves if you want to make that decision for the rest of us... because the freedom that everyone in this room enjoys... is, in a very real way, in your hands. If we start throwing up walls against what some of us think is obscene... we may wake up one morning and realize... that walls have been thrown upin places we never expected... and we can't see anythingor... do anything. And that's not freedom. That is not freedom. So, be careful. Thank you."
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The Governor

User ID: 25061971
United States
10/06/2012 08:18 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
Think of it this way OP, you just learned a secret about your wife's character that no amount of love and respect would have revealed.
Welcome to Woodbury.

I think being a Democrat should be a felony.

[link to www.policymic.com]
Just A Thought

User ID: 22473674
United States
10/06/2012 08:22 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
I wouldn't blink an eye over my wife not giving me $400 for "whatever".

Because if I wanted something I would save for it and buy it myself. I'd never ask.

If she gave you the $400 "because you asked for it", you may never hear the end of that.

And $400 is less than spilt milk if you have children together.

Not worth the drama or dwelling upon it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25063111
Denmark
10/06/2012 08:24 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
I thought marriage was all about sharing.
I could get it if for example she would decide to put it away for the kids education or such entirely, like if she felt it was needed there and kids come first.

But if she is just going to spend it, 400 isn't such a big deal, especially not if you are willing to even pay it back geesh.

If i'd get an inheritance and didnt need it for kids college fund or anything, id love to buy the better half a gift.
ceawaves

User ID: 23342686
United States
10/06/2012 08:27 PM

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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
I wouldn't blink an eye over my wife not giving me $400 for "whatever".

Because if I wanted something I would save for it and buy it myself. I'd never ask.

If she gave you the $400 "because you asked for it", you may never hear the end of that.

And $400 is less than spilt milk if you have children together.

Not worth the drama or dwelling upon it.
 Quoting: Just A Thought


Not even the point. she's a selfish bitch.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1445528
United States
10/06/2012 08:27 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
Wow! Your wife sounds selfish. I can understand your feelings being hurt!
NuckingFutz

User ID: 9202848
Australia
10/06/2012 08:29 PM

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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
I`m sorry OP but your wife is a very selfish person. Start keeping your money for you. Make her pay some bills instead of hoarding it all for herself. Like the other poster said, What`s hers is hers, what`s yours is hers. Cut her off. The cow has used you long enough.

Last Edited by NuckingFutZ on 10/06/2012 08:40 PM
Eagle # 1
User ID: 24513996
United States
10/06/2012 08:29 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
SAD to inform you OP, but WAIT till you get to the divorce !

She gets the house, YOU GET the payments; she gets the car, YPU get the payments; SHE gets the kids, YOU get the alimony payments !

OH ! Forgot the lawyers bills .... HERS and yours! You get to pay them BOTH!

Been there 3 times. ONLY the third wife let me go free without anything but the health care insurance and some extra, BECAUSE after all the threats of what she was going to do the WHOLE last year if I didn't sell the house and split the money, she FINALLY got the message I gave her all YEAR .... " You have to be ALIVE to collect."

Eagle
pool
Netizen Ribbonmind

User ID: 18381151
United States
10/06/2012 08:30 PM

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Just ask her to give it to you at a holiday, like Christmas or something specific to your religion.
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25037494
United States
10/06/2012 08:36 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
The sad part is..You wont get that money back that u paid on her house. How do I know? I've been there. You are getting screwed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25093406
United States
10/06/2012 08:38 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
Dude, if you don't owe a mortgage or a car payment and you don't owe a credit card bill and your families health insurance and taxes are all paid up, then she should have given you the money for the bow. Otherwise, I suspect she kept it because the bills aren't paid.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5542489
United States
10/06/2012 08:41 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
Think of it this way OP, you just learned a secret about your wife's character that no amount of love and respect would have revealed.
 Quoting: The Governor


This. As a woman I am sickened that she's treating you like this. Very similar thing happened with my now ex-husband and it showed me a terribly selfish side of him I didn't know existed in our 14 years together. Things were never quite the same after that.

As of today, make household/joint bills split 50-50. Close any joint accts. Get your own checking acct. to pay your 50% out of and after you've paid your 50%, all that's left over is yours to spend as you please. She started this, you are just following her lead.

And definitely get a legal will made up to protect your kids.

I am so sorry, I know the pain this brings, when you find out the person you share your life with is not the person you thought they were. She just showed her true colors, OP, and they're not pretty.
The Governor

User ID: 25061971
United States
10/06/2012 08:42 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
The sad part is..You wont get that money back that u paid on her house. How do I know? I've been there. You are getting screwed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25037494


yes
Welcome to Woodbury.

I think being a Democrat should be a felony.

[link to www.policymic.com]
Lady Jane SmithModerator
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User ID: 19147018
United States
10/06/2012 08:42 PM

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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
She sounds selfish & unloving to me.

I cannot imagine coming into a large sum and not sharing it with my husband. In our case, I would probably stash it in our JOINT retirement account.

As for your kids, make sure you have a sound will made by an attorney to assure the kids are protected. You keep a copy of the will, and make sure another copy is in the hands of a trusted relative -- not the snotty-poo wife. The attorney will also have a copy for the record if the wife makes any accusations that the will is forged. Be certain your kids are aware of the will as well.

Good luck, OP.
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The Governor

User ID: 25061971
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10/06/2012 08:42 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
Think of it this way OP, you just learned a secret about your wife's character that no amount of love and respect would have revealed.
 Quoting: The Governor


This. As a woman I am sickened that she's treating you like this. Very similar thing happened with my now ex-husband and it showed me a terribly selfish side of him I didn't know existed in our 14 years together. Things were never quite the same after that.

As of today, make household/joint bills split 50-50. Close any joint accts. Get your own checking acct. to pay your 50% out of and after you've paid your 50%, all that's left over is yours to spend as you please. She started this, you are just following her lead.

And definitely get a legal will made up to protect your kids.

I am so sorry, I know the pain this brings, when you find out the person you share your life with is not the person you thought they were. She just showed her true colors, OP, and they're not pretty.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5542489


clappa
Welcome to Woodbury.

I think being a Democrat should be a felony.

[link to www.policymic.com]
stella stevens

User ID: 1490898
Canada
10/06/2012 08:45 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
she is the one being greedy
this could really break up your marriage
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25091351
Aruba
10/06/2012 08:46 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
She is a selfish woman, she should give you at least $1000, I am a female, and I work to provide for the family along with my husband! we both take care of the bills, and if we want something we planned in our budget!!!she should appreciated you more that is for sure!
she is taking you for granted!
I believe a woman who let all the financial responsibility of her husband is like a rock on his neck!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25048349
United States
10/06/2012 08:49 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
my wifes mom came into some money , had a family gathering, she gave each of her kids an envelope each contained 4000 dollars , i asked my wife for 400 for a crossbow , and a bit for survival food stuff...


well she says its hers not mine, weve been married for 12 yrs... im worreid what what will happen if i die will all the money left over be HERS and none go to my kids ...


im hurt , or am i just being greedy... i thought when you got married you became one in ALL respects....


The envelopes containg the money only had her kids name on it...


when i got my inheritence i opaid off her house...

ya know i asked to BORROW the money like id pay her in three cks postdated , she didnt evenm go for that...


like i said im devasataed or IS SHE RIGHT to do this...


im just fkn crushed!!!! i feel like this is the gamechanger ....


OR AM I WRONG ...please help with your opinion
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15323087


Good idea OP, GOTTA SPEND DAT MONEY!! That shit is burning a hole in your pocket, and it ain't even in your pocket.
Daersoulkeeper

User ID: 4665114
United States
10/06/2012 08:50 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
Opinion: she sucks...it's official (opinion from my GF)

Last Edited by Daersoulkeeper on 10/06/2012 08:51 PM
the real reason most people on this planet are the most ignorant gullible people that have ever lived is a little thing called the

TELL-LIE-VISION

television

when you watch it, you put the I(you) in television and you get tel(i)evision

tell lie vision
Eimaj

User ID: 10601066
United States
10/06/2012 08:51 PM
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Re: marriage and money ? need help please, married peeps
OK,guy,here is the real deal. Women will not respect a man who treats her nice. They always pine for the guy who was indifferent and demeaning,he was a "real man". I've seen this too many times. You want her heart,mind and soul? Make her feel like you don't know she exists. Act aloof. In other words,be a real dick. If you don't believe this,watch reruns of "Sex and the City". It is all about women chasing after the bad boy users.
 Quoting: grassyknoll


^THIS RIGHT HERE^...This is bullshit IF you say all women!
I've seen a lot of marriages fail because of what this poster just told you to do!

Op...Maybe your marriage has been over for some time now, and this just gave her that chance to really show you, But I promise you this, if you still love her, and don't want it to end, then don't take that advice, or it will be over for damn sure!

You need to get your ass off glp, and sit down with her and tell her how you feel!
This time I feel lost in a world so cold and lonely. This time I feel broke and if I left no one would even know me ...

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