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One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain

 
141

User ID: 23784387
Denmark
10/07/2012 02:20 PM

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One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
The other day I attended to a funeral, didn't knew the one who had passed, she was a former collegue of a good friend, so was there as support...
The woman who died, let's call her M, was only 47 y.o., she took her own life in a very violent way, leaving two grown up children and the man she lived with

There were many people in the church, and lots of crying...
Especially when the priest shared the story M's life, things which the family had told...
As a sensitive person, I really went into the words and tried to feel how it had been to be M, to live the life that she had...
What came to me was a deep longing, a longing for just a quiet life, with loved ones, in peace, with fun and joy... And most of all where it all made sense...
She never got to there, sometimes in glimpses, but then it was all taken away, this way or another, for each time just making the pain deeper and the longing for a meaningfull life even so...
She really tried so hard, so damn hard...
At some point it all got too much, like if life had just worn her out, taken all of her wishes for a quiet good life and ridiculed them, taken all of her hope and love and made it into nothing...
At the end, there was only such great inner pain and that feeling,, that nothing made sense, nothing at all... And having no clue, where to go and where to reach...
In the moment where she took her own life, the pain was just like all there was, after years of being moved around in systems where compassion is nowhere to be found and becoming like a stranger in a society where everyone is pulled in this and that direction, always busy always just ready to go to the next place, never really there... Always distracted... No sense, no love...
And I cried, for her and for all those 'regular' people, those that some call sheeples...
Those who are so programmed to live in the systems, are so dimmed down by mind control media, by their own loyalty to systems that are only created to make them run faster and faster, always distracted, always alienated to themselves and eachother...
Those which are so stucked in controlling, have no clue either, they are just as much alienated... They think that these people are just pieces in a game...
They have no clue either, being so far from their own essence...
But they are not pieces, sheeps or whatever

They are real people, feeling real feelings, real sorrow, real pain
Real!!!

And whether they call themselves God, the Devil or whatever, if this heart of mine has anything to say, damn it, they have to deal with it
Deal with the pain, the control, imposed... All that suffering inflicted on innocent, mind-controlled hearts... For what reason
Many, oh so many, have taken their life in dispair, or died in misery in this world

See the world from the heart of those like M, blessed be her soul...
There are no need for any pedestals, and preaching, all there are need for is for us to remember ourselves, eachother, and for us to remember honor, respect and love...

Just needed to share this, in rememberence of M and those like her, that never had a chance, bc they never knew where and how to look, never knew what amazing capacity their heart held...
Never got the chance to get that simple peaceful life, which was all they ever wanted...

Thanks for listening
Truth and Love...
Unit3

User ID: 9834739
United States
10/07/2012 11:07 PM
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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
The other day I attended to a funeral, didn't knew the one who had passed, she was a former collegue of a good friend, so was there as support...
The woman who died, let's call her M, was only 47 y.o., she took her own life in a very violent way, leaving two grown up children and the man she lived with

There were many people in the church, and lots of crying...
Especially when the priest shared the story M's life, things which the family had told...
As a sensitive person, I really went into the words and tried to feel how it had been to be M, to live the life that she had...
What came to me was a deep longing, a longing for just a quiet life, with loved ones, in peace, with fun and joy... And most of all where it all made sense...
She never got to there, sometimes in glimpses, but then it was all taken away, this way or another, for each time just making the pain deeper and the longing for a meaningfull life even so...
She really tried so hard, so damn hard...
At some point it all got too much, like if life had just worn her out, taken all of her wishes for a quiet good life and ridiculed them, taken all of her hope and love and made it into nothing...
At the end, there was only such great inner pain and that feeling,, that nothing made sense, nothing at all... And having no clue, where to go and where to reach...
In the moment where she took her own life, the pain was just like all there was, after years of being moved around in systems where compassion is nowhere to be found and becoming like a stranger in a society where everyone is pulled in this and that direction, always busy always just ready to go to the next place, never really there... Always distracted... No sense, no love...
And I cried, for her and for all those 'regular' people, those that some call sheeples...
Those who are so programmed to live in the systems, are so dimmed down by mind control media, by their own loyalty to systems that are only created to make them run faster and faster, always distracted, always alienated to themselves and eachother...
Those which are so stucked in controlling, have no clue either, they are just as much alienated... They think that these people are just pieces in a game...
They have no clue either, being so far from their own essence...
But they are not pieces, sheeps or whatever

They are real people, feeling real feelings, real sorrow, real pain
Real!!!

And whether they call themselves God, the Devil or whatever, if this heart of mine has anything to say, damn it, they have to deal with it
Deal with the pain, the control, imposed... All that suffering inflicted on innocent, mind-controlled hearts... For what reason
Many, oh so many, have taken their life in dispair, or died in misery in this world

See the world from the heart of those like M, blessed be her soul...
There are no need for any pedestals, and preaching, all there are need for is for us to remember ourselves, eachother, and for us to remember honor, respect and love...

Just needed to share this, in rememberence of M and those like her, that never had a chance, bc they never knew where and how to look, never knew what amazing capacity their heart held...
Never got the chance to get that simple peaceful life, which was all they ever wanted...

Thanks for listening
 Quoting: 141



Thank you for sharing this. You have the most loving heart and such a beautiful way of sharing. I am very glad you are my friend.

And may all of us remember and remember quickly. This is my prayer. I know something great is getting ready to happen and I pray whatever it is, it means everyone is involved, so no one has to go through this simulation again....EVER! I WANT IT OVER FOR EVERYONE and I don't care how evil a being has been.

I hear all different things about how this ascension is going to play out. Many feel there is a split, sometimes into thirds. Anyway, what good is it if we don't all go together? We are all ONE SON so if some ascend and some don't, those who ascend are still connected to those who don't.

I don't want to ever face this mess again...never. And if everyone doesn't get out, that means some will probably end up returning again to help. Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I would just as soon get it over with this time forever more. And if it just takes remembering, there has to be a way to accomplish it for everyone. Amen!

And OP, condolences to your friends. This must be such a sad situation for everyone.

Last Edited by U3 on 10/07/2012 11:18 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13385958
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10/07/2012 11:34 PM
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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
:oiu:Thank u, this has helped me. My son committed suicide.
141 (OP)

User ID: 12828358
Denmark
10/08/2012 04:27 PM

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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
:oiu:Thank u, this has helped me. My son committed suicide.
 Quoting: Krystal


Wish there was something I could say or do to make it better...
I know that is life as real as it gets, and there are no easy words to be said...
At times in my life, I have been at the edge to suicide myself, when everything just felt enough...
And I know, at that point there is only the pain and there is no thought on those who are left behind...
I know your son would never want to hurt you by doing that, never...
For what it is worth i send you love and thoughts of healing...
Best wishes...
From heart to heart
Truth and Love...
141 (OP)

User ID: 12828358
Denmark
10/08/2012 04:30 PM

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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
The other day I attended to a funeral, didn't knew the one who had passed, she was a former collegue of a good friend, so was there as support...
The woman who died, let's call her M, was only 47 y.o., she took her own life in a very violent way, leaving two grown up children and the man she lived with

There were many people in the church, and lots of crying...
Especially when the priest shared the story M's life, things which the family had told...
As a sensitive person, I really went into the words and tried to feel how it had been to be M, to live the life that she had...
What came to me was a deep longing, a longing for just a quiet life, with loved ones, in peace, with fun and joy... And most of all where it all made sense...
She never got to there, sometimes in glimpses, but then it was all taken away, this way or another, for each time just making the pain deeper and the longing for a meaningfull life even so...
She really tried so hard, so damn hard...
At some point it all got too much, like if life had just worn her out, taken all of her wishes for a quiet good life and ridiculed them, taken all of her hope and love and made it into nothing...
At the end, there was only such great inner pain and that feeling,, that nothing made sense, nothing at all... And having no clue, where to go and where to reach...
In the moment where she took her own life, the pain was just like all there was, after years of being moved around in systems where compassion is nowhere to be found and becoming like a stranger in a society where everyone is pulled in this and that direction, always busy always just ready to go to the next place, never really there... Always distracted... No sense, no love...
And I cried, for her and for all those 'regular' people, those that some call sheeples...
Those who are so programmed to live in the systems, are so dimmed down by mind control media, by their own loyalty to systems that are only created to make them run faster and faster, always distracted, always alienated to themselves and eachother...
Those which are so stucked in controlling, have no clue either, they are just as much alienated... They think that these people are just pieces in a game...
They have no clue either, being so far from their own essence...
But they are not pieces, sheeps or whatever

They are real people, feeling real feelings, real sorrow, real pain
Real!!!

And whether they call themselves God, the Devil or whatever, if this heart of mine has anything to say, damn it, they have to deal with it
Deal with the pain, the control, imposed... All that suffering inflicted on innocent, mind-controlled hearts... For what reason
Many, oh so many, have taken their life in dispair, or died in misery in this world

See the world from the heart of those like M, blessed be her soul...
There are no need for any pedestals, and preaching, all there are need for is for us to remember ourselves, eachother, and for us to remember honor, respect and love...

Just needed to share this, in rememberence of M and those like her, that never had a chance, bc they never knew where and how to look, never knew what amazing capacity their heart held...
Never got the chance to get that simple peaceful life, which was all they ever wanted...

Thanks for listening
 Quoting: 141



Thank you for sharing this. You have the most loving heart and such a beautiful way of sharing. I am very glad you are my friend.

And may all of us remember and remember quickly. This is my prayer. I know something great is getting ready to happen and I pray whatever it is, it means everyone is involved, so no one has to go through this simulation again....EVER! I WANT IT OVER FOR EVERYONE and I don't care how evil a being has been.

I hear all different things about how this ascension is going to play out. Many feel there is a split, sometimes into thirds. Anyway, what good is it if we don't all go together? We are all ONE SON so if some ascend and some don't, those who ascend are still connected to those who don't.

I don't want to ever face this mess again...never. And if everyone doesn't get out, that means some will probably end up returning again to help. Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I would just as soon get it over with this time forever more. And if it just takes remembering, there has to be a way to accomplish it for everyone. Amen!

And OP, condolences to your friends. This must be such a sad situation for everyone.
 Quoting: Unit3


Thankyou my loved friend
rose
Truth and Love...
Philligan
in rainbows

User ID: 2530194
United States
10/08/2012 04:35 PM

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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
Thank you OP yes. Life can be so simple but our biggest threat is ourselves.

My mom suffered her whole life from severe depression and more, it hurt a lot when she died and how she died but y only hope is she is feeling better now.

Death puts life into perspective
everything in its right place
141 (OP)

User ID: 12828358
Denmark
10/08/2012 04:42 PM

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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
Thank you OP yes. Life can be so simple but our biggest threat is ourselves.

My mom suffered her whole life from severe depression and more, it hurt a lot when she died and how she died but y only hope is she is feeling better now.

Death puts life into perspective
 Quoting: Philligan


Yes it certainly does... It gets so real, and many things lose their meaning, and that what really means something, from the heart are in focus...
Thanks for sharing, know it is not easy to talk about, and it is much appreciated and respected...
Hope of all my heart, that your mom is feeling better now

rose
Truth and Love...
Nonya
User ID: 25202128
United States
10/08/2012 04:59 PM
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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
I found out that a friend's spouse committed suicide last week.He was 23. Then, got to work and found out that a coworker's spouse committed suicide.He was 56. We had a very close friend commit suicide last year. He was 40
It was devestating. It still is. The amound of pain that suicide causes..even with people not directly connected. Our friend taught a coworker to play guitar. Then had not seen that person in a long time. She found out and was devestated. The threads of pain caused by suicide are so far reaching that it is hard to believe. My children after hearing of our friends suicide had trouble sleeping and kept having visions of his hanging. They didn't even know him. How they found out he hung himself, I don't know. My friends spouse shot himself in the head while she was in the shower. How does that not destroy her? They were planning on getting married and starting a family.

But despite all the pain that this causes others, the deep, physical unrelenting emotional pain that causes someone to devalue themselves so much they feel the world is better off without them is so incredibly sad. I have never felt so sad until I heard of so many suicides. I understand their pain. I know what that feels like. However, noone can change that. They have to fight it, every single moment of every single day. We must search ourselves every day and if this is something at all we suspect within ourselves to find a reason to live, make a committment to staying alive.
It has been a long day and I am so glad this was on here, and to share feelings with you. Thanks for listening.
141 (OP)

User ID: 12828358
Denmark
10/08/2012 05:11 PM

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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
I found out that a friend's spouse committed suicide last week.He was 23. Then, got to work and found out that a coworker's spouse committed suicide.He was 56. We had a very close friend commit suicide last year. He was 40
It was devestating. It still is. The amound of pain that suicide causes..even with people not directly connected. Our friend taught a coworker to play guitar. Then had not seen that person in a long time. She found out and was devestated. The threads of pain caused by suicide are so far reaching that it is hard to believe. My children after hearing of our friends suicide had trouble sleeping and kept having visions of his hanging. They didn't even know him. How they found out he hung himself, I don't know. My friends spouse shot himself in the head while she was in the shower. How does that not destroy her? They were planning on getting married and starting a family.

But despite all the pain that this causes others, the deep, physical unrelenting emotional pain that causes someone to devalue themselves so much they feel the world is better off without them is so incredibly sad. I have never felt so sad until I heard of so many suicides. I understand their pain. I know what that feels like. However, noone can change that. They have to fight it, every single moment of every single day. We must search ourselves every day and if this is something at all we suspect within ourselves to find a reason to live, make a committment to staying alive.
It has been a long day and I am so glad this was on here, and to share feelings with you. Thanks for listening.
 Quoting: Nonya 25202128


Thankyou for sharing...
Yes, no words apply here, just the the pain we can share...
I too understand their feelings and the pain they are going through, also have seen what a suicide does to a family... There is no easy way around that, the pain remains...
I have a good friend whos kid brother, only 33 hung himself, she wasn't even able to leave the house for over half a year and still every year at that time, feel so much pain...
The worst is probably the self blaming part, that if we could just have done this or that, it would have made a difference...
That is understandable too, yet after walking to that pain, you need to let yourself free of that...
I so wish that we could be able to stop up from time to time, see eachother, just really see, and appreciate eachother...
We tend to be so busy in this world, and when it comes to the crisis in life we just realize how important those seemingly small thing are...
Again... Thankyou deeply for sharing... And a lot of love to you
Truth and Love...
141 (OP)

User ID: 12828358
Denmark
10/08/2012 05:43 PM

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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain

Truth and Love...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22944917
United States
10/08/2012 05:47 PM
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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
If there really was a god he would surely allow those who take their own lives to be welcomed into his loving presence. He's just taking all the good souls first to teach those of us left behind a lesson.
141 (OP)

User ID: 12828358
Denmark
10/08/2012 05:54 PM

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Re: One suicide, one funeral... Real people feel real pain
If there really was a god he would surely allow those who take their own lives to be welcomed into his loving presence. He's just taking all the good souls first to teach those of us left behind a lesson.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22944917


For me it resonates, that if there truly was a God, he would be comforting those which have gone so much pain, meeting them with love and compassion...
No judgement to be made...
Walking the path down here, you really get to feel that pain is real, down here you get hurt for real, not always so easy to just continue on...
My hope is for us to be more aware of ourselves and eachother, so we can share, both when it is joyful but also when life hurts so bad... And that we perhaps just more often go and touch the shoulder of that friend or college, looking them in the eyes, asking if they are ok...
Sometimes it is the small things, that makes the big difference....
Love to you
Truth and Love...

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