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I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24206893
Germany
10/07/2012 05:44 PM
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I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
He misses China and wants to go back by next year, but I'm a bit nervous and am not very keen to leave the US or my family... Id love to go for visits, but living there permanently scares me.. Im a blonde white woman and I know there aren't many mixed couples in China so I am also scared of being lonely and unable to make friends...
He misses his home a lot and I want to make him happy though... are all my fears for nothing??
PS... we would be moving to Chengdu.

I work as an Italian/Spanish translator. He says I could stop working completely as he has a decent paying job, or I might be able to find work as an English or Spanish teacher, or at an embassy... I would like to keep working.
We've been married 9 mo and he has just recently been getting very homesick... he says he wants our children to grow up in Chengdu...
last one
I just don't give a fuck

User ID: 25032474
United States
10/07/2012 05:46 PM

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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
cruiseweirdo
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15488325
United States
10/07/2012 05:47 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Go there to visit and see if it is something you would like.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18304550
United States
10/07/2012 05:47 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
ohno
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User ID: 12042051
United States
10/07/2012 06:05 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Only you can make that decision, OP. He needs to consider your feelings too in the matter. This is a tough one, because you would miss your family also. Hopefully, this is not one of those incompatibility relationships. In the end, you would find out from the experience of living in China. You could make your choices based on career and learn another language and different culture, but the fact remains, you would be making a sacrifice, if you are not happy there.
Aunty Flo

User ID: 25144309
Australia
10/07/2012 06:10 PM

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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
I wouldn't live in China. But I love fresh air.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25021634
United States
10/07/2012 06:10 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
You didnt see this coming?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 24206893
Germany
10/07/2012 06:25 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Only you can make that decision, OP. He needs to consider your feelings too in the matter. This is a tough one, because you would miss your family also. Hopefully, this is not one of those incompatibility relationships. In the end, you would find out from the experience of living in China. You could make your choices based on career and learn another language and different culture, but the fact remains, you would be making a sacrifice, if you are not happy there.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12042051



I don't like chinese food or chinese people. They smell like shit . Ewwwwwwww

The only reason I married this chinese guy is because he owns a billion dollar company.
anonymous coward
User ID: 1511304
United States
10/07/2012 06:29 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
I would move there but I love the U.S. forests and lakes and mountains and... But they have a great civilisation there.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24124662
United States
10/07/2012 06:30 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Don't go, they have little yellow balls and will most likely sale you to slavery to Arab Muslims.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25119411
United States
10/07/2012 06:31 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
You married him for his money. And he is talking about having children???? You need to let this man go so he can find someone who truly loves him.
Hotty. No really I am.
User ID: 1351603
United States
10/07/2012 06:32 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
I will marry any chinese man and move to china tomorrow.

I have to be treated like Hawaiian queen though. And he should know sumo.
the mighty Atom

User ID: 23715861
Japan
10/07/2012 06:33 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Visit there and have a look!

Difficult it will be, for sure.
G.Y.!B.E.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3810017
United States
10/07/2012 06:47 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
If you are blond you can make money by the assload. Literally by the ASSLOAD.
geerod

User ID: 3592190
United States
10/07/2012 06:55 PM

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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
My American 36 year old son has been living in China for 10-1/2 months of the year for the last 4 years.He originally liked the first year there while he was sight seeing.

The last three years he has grown to hate it there.The two large cities he has lived and worked in has extremely dirty air.He has the beginning signs of asthma.

He recently divorced his Chinese wife and is planning on moving back to the states for good by years end.She originally said she would live in the states before they married but then changed her mind after the wedding.

He will be leaving her with an upscale apartment and a fairly new car.Not too bad for a woman who came from the lower end of the economic ladder.

Beware of relationships between people of different cultures/countries.It can be very difficult on the marriage!

I hope you have the opportunity to stay/visit for awhile there before you commit living there long term.

I hope this info is of help to you OP.

Good luck..............
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18169141
United States
10/07/2012 06:55 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
he says he wants our male child to grow up in Chengdu...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24206893


Fixed.
oh candy is pumpkin corn
User ID: 1351603
United States
10/07/2012 06:57 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
If you are blond you can make money by the assload. Literally by the ASSLOAD.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3810017




i am part of orange party. is there any other? (smirk)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1290057
United States
10/07/2012 06:57 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Only you can make that decision, OP. He needs to consider your feelings too in the matter. This is a tough one, because you would miss your family also. Hopefully, this is not one of those incompatibility relationships. In the end, you would find out from the experience of living in China. You could make your choices based on career and learn another language and different culture, but the fact remains, you would be making a sacrifice, if you are not happy there.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12042051



I don't like chinese food or chinese people. They smell like shit . Ewwwwwwww

The only reason I married this chinese guy is because he owns a billion dollar company.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24206893
You're a horrid person.I was gonna say something racist but i'll take the chinamans side over you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24358110
United States
10/07/2012 06:58 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Only you can make that decision, OP. He needs to consider your feelings too in the matter. This is a tough one, because you would miss your family also. Hopefully, this is not one of those incompatibility relationships. In the end, you would find out from the experience of living in China. You could make your choices based on career and learn another language and different culture, but the fact remains, you would be making a sacrifice, if you are not happy there.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12042051



I don't like chinese food or chinese people. They smell like shit . Ewwwwwwww

The only reason I married this chinese guy is because he owns a billion dollar company.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24206893


then do HIM a favor and divorce him you who have whored to him and free him of you.
Desert hot.
User ID: 1351603
United States
10/07/2012 07:00 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Don't go, they have little yellow balls and will most likely sale you to slavery to Arab Muslims.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24124662




How cool is that. Arab men are gorgeous.
DSL Connector

User ID: 11566547
United States
10/07/2012 07:09 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
You'll be alright. Just practice up on eating dog meat.
DSL is better than cable! :)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23597994
United States
10/07/2012 07:10 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
My American 36 year old son has been living in China for 10-1/2 months of the year for the last 4 years.He originally liked the first year there while he was sight seeing.

The last three years he has grown to hate it there.The two large cities he has lived and worked in has extremely dirty air.He has the beginning signs of asthma.

He recently divorced his Chinese wife and is planning on moving back to the states for good by years end.She originally said she would live in the states before they married but then changed her mind after the wedding.

He will be leaving her with an upscale apartment and a fairly new car.Not too bad for a woman who came from the lower end of the economic ladder.

Beware of relationships between people of different cultures/countries.It can be very difficult on the marriage!

I hope you have the opportunity to stay/visit for awhile there before you commit living there long term.

I hope this info is of help to you OP.

Good luck..............
 Quoting: geerod


An apartment is a very very big deal in China. If the guy had the apartment, I think he could get a new wife with little difficulty. Or, she could get a new husband. This wife might consider the whole thing successful because of the apartment.

If I were he, I would sell the apt. and take the money back. No way he should leave it with the ex. Chinese law won't give her all the advantages that women get here in divorces, so he should be able to get that done.

If she doesn't get to keep the apartment she may suddenly become flexible about moving to the states too. The only way to find out is to sell it; she'll not reveal her true intentions if she sees any chance to talk him out of it and keep that apartment.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24358110
United States
10/07/2012 07:14 PM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
OP claims to not want to leave the US. Why is she writing from Germany?
Des.Vince
User ID: 36176684
Australia
03/14/2013 09:13 AM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Only you can make that decision, OP. He needs to consider your feelings too in the matter. This is a tough one, because you would miss your family also. Hopefully, this is not one of those incompatibility relationships. In the end, you would find out from the experience of living in China. You could make your choices based on career and learn another language and different culture, but the fact remains, you would be making a sacrifice, if you are not happy there.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12042051



I don't like chinese food or chinese people. They smell like shit . Ewwwwwwww

The only reason I married this chinese guy is because he owns a billion dollar company.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24206893


Your stereotype and brainwashed mindset towards Chinese are just not true and are COMPLETE NONSENSE. Anyway, if you don't like this man and are not interested in the Chinese Culture, why would you marry him in the first place? If you like money rather than this particular guy, go marry money but leave him alone. I'm sure there are a whole lot of rich white dudes you can choose from in America and therefore you can marry their money and remain staying in America.

My advice is simple and direct: divorce him and stay in America, because mostly like you would feel shitty of the Chinese people and Chinese food there.

To be blunt, you are just one of those typical materialistic foolish blond and obviously you haven't truly found what you really want in your life.

True love never fails. It's about sharing each other's happy and sad moments.

Let him go and find someone you truly love.
Des.Vince
User ID: 36176684
Australia
03/14/2013 09:17 AM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Only you can make that decision, OP. He needs to consider your feelings too in the matter. This is a tough one, because you would miss your family also. Hopefully, this is not one of those incompatibility relationships. In the end, you would find out from the experience of living in China. You could make your choices based on career and learn another language and different culture, but the fact remains, you would be making a sacrifice, if you are not happy there.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12042051



I don't like chinese food or chinese people. They smell like shit . Ewwwwwwww

The only reason I married this chinese guy is because he owns a billion dollar company.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24206893


Your stereotype and brainwashed mindset towards Chinese are just not true and are COMPLETE NONSENSE. Anyway, if you don't like this man and are not interested in the Chinese Culture, why would you marry him in the first place? If you like money rather than this particular guy, go marry money but leave him alone. I'm sure there are a whole lot of rich white dudes you can choose from in America and therefore you can marry their money and remain staying in America.

To be blunt, you are just one of those typical materialistic foolish blond and obviously you haven't truly found what you really want in your life.

True love never fails. It's about sharing each other's happy and sad moments. But when you take money as your primary consideration for marriage, mostly likely it's the beginning of a miserable experience.

Let him go. Don't fool yourself or him.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34824387
Canada
03/14/2013 09:18 AM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
I would leave Germany for China...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25042174
Japan
03/14/2013 09:25 AM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
If he is so rich you do not have to worry about eating chinese food or hanging around with Chinese. Tons of other rich expats in china and of course they have tons of 4 and 5 star restaurants, high fashion and all the luxury you could dream of. You can only have one kid but I don't think that matters.
But if you dont love him then you should probably just divorce him and take half his shit, if it's money you're after.
I married my Japanese husband and we came to live in Tokyo. He isn't rich but we make enough to live comfortably. I had to somewhat conform to the cultural image of a housewife, which took some time, and I had I make new friends, which also took time, but now I can't imagine going back to America to live. Everytime I go back I visit it gets worse and worse.

But then again, I really love my husband, our family, his family and my life here so the short term culture shock and loneliness was a small price to pay considering the awesome life I have now.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28123114
United States
03/14/2013 09:30 AM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
He misses China and wants to go back by next year, but I'm a bit nervous and am not very keen to leave the US or my family... Id love to go for visits, but living there permanently scares me.. Im a blonde white woman and I know there aren't many mixed couples in China so I am also scared of being lonely and unable to make friends...
He misses his home a lot and I want to make him happy though... are all my fears for nothing??
PS... we would be moving to Chengdu.

I work as an Italian/Spanish translator. He says I could stop working completely as he has a decent paying job, or I might be able to find work as an English or Spanish teacher, or at an embassy... I would like to keep working.
We've been married 9 mo and he has just recently been getting very homesick... he says he wants our children to grow up in Chengdu...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24206893



only if your truly faithful , your life would depend on it.
Crazy Harriet

User ID: 8548727
United States
03/14/2013 09:50 AM

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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
It's harder to learn Mandarin than any of the other Latin languages, so if you go, get started now on that. There are several good language sites. Memrise has a great Chinese teacher, and it's free. Also Kanji-a-day, for written language only (no pinyan). Of course your husband can coach you, but best not to make him teacher/boss while you are becoming much more dependent on him. And you will.

Otherwise, you just won't be able to hear what people are saying. The language is very different at a root level, with the same sounds said differently meaning completely different things. You will enjoy it - it's hilarious how they come up with some of those radical groups to create words. A chicken is your right-hand bird, for example. Yeah.

Have fun!
It is in the interest of Tyrants to reduce the people to Ignorance and Vice. For they cannot live in any Country where Virtue and Knowledge prevail. The religion and public Liberty of a People are intimately connected; their Interests are interwoven, they cannot subsist separately; and therefore they rise and fall together. For this Reason, it is always observable, that those who are combined to destroy the People’s Liberties, practice every Art to poison their Morals. Sam Adams
Anonymous Coward
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United States
03/14/2013 09:56 AM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
Only you can make that decision, OP. He needs to consider your feelings too in the matter. This is a tough one, because you would miss your family also. Hopefully, this is not one of those incompatibility relationships. In the end, you would find out from the experience of living in China. You could make your choices based on career and learn another language and different culture, but the fact remains, you would be making a sacrifice, if you are not happy there.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12042051



I don't like chinese food or chinese people. They smell like shit . Ewwwwwwww

The only reason I married this chinese guy is because he owns a billion dollar company.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24206893


So you sold yourself to him ! What were you Thinking!?
Go along to China!
kungfukitty88

User ID: 23241006
United States
03/14/2013 09:58 AM
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Re: I'm recently married to a Chinese man, and he wants to take me to to live with him in China? Should I agree?
hell no!

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