Has anyone had a "friends with benefits " turn into a gf/bf?

while you have been fwb with him, have you gotten with a lot of others that he knows about?

Has he been getting with other people?

most likely he probably does... but he does have the good parts already, just not the chain...

unless he WANTS IT committed... then most likely you will have to push a "only friends" or "together" card... but no one likes that shit...


so... who knows

I haven't been with anybody else. And I only know about one girl one time, because he got a bit drunk and it was a few years ago, other than that I don't ask.

I like what we have going on, and would rather keep it than ruin it pushing the relationship card. When I found out he had slept with that other girl, it hurt my feelings and thats when I realized I'm deeper than I thought.

So you're saying I will have to push it because he's got his cake and eats it too? This is why I hate relationships! The games~!

The worst thing I have ever done in my life, was move into a common-law relationship...

We were the best of friends, we could converse on anything, we had a great sex life and enjoyed each others company...

Living together at first was great... But, over time it fizzled... We seperated and I have not spoke with her in 8 years...

I lost my best friend, and I regret it...

So what would've saved your relationship? Staying fbs or actually committing to a relationship?

Living in seperate homes, I believe, although nothing is guaranteed...

I'm thinking about talking to him when we see each other again. I just want to clear up why he calls affectionate names, and is physically affectionate. He was also there for me when I had some pretty heavy tragedies in my life, and friends that I thought were close avoided me.

I wonder if he thinks I don't want a relationship. On Valentine's day he sent me a card with something like "I couldn't live without you in my heart." But at that time I wasn't ready and I pretty much didn't respond to it. Now it seems like an attempt by him to test the waters.

Most likely he doesn't want a relationship. You chicks have it all backwards for some reason.

You're already giving him the tang. I am certain he's also getting pooty tang from a number of other girls. So if he loses your ass then it's like okay I have to replace my Friday night sperm urinal. That's what it really comes down to.

Ladies, if you really want a true relationship, then stop sleeping around! No guy wants some ho that has 200,000 miles on her. Take it from a guy who has slept with over 500 women. Yea, say whatever you want, but listen up all the same. Guys don't give a fuck about what you think. They just don't. Sorry. The only thing guys honestly care about is exclusive rights to your vagina. Let me repeat that. EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO YOUR VAGINA.

that's what marriage is to a guy. Nothing more. It is a business contract to your vagina. So if your vagina is all beat up and stretched and has had 7000 dicks pushed up in it, your marketability is in the sewer forever. It's more than just a tight snatch. You can be a loose virgin and be just as valuable.

So if you want a guy then don't sleep with him. That doesn't mean sleep with 8 other dudes while you deny him. It means take the shit seriously. Sex is the last thing that should come in a courtship.

I banged lots of girls some were girls you might know from television. All of them were ultra hot chicks because I accepted nothing less. That's just how my life turned out.

But one day I met a girl who was interested yet indifferent. She didn't flop her tits out in the first ten minutes. I couldn't believe I actually had found a hot chick that had self respect. She made me wait. She had control. Amazing.

12 years later we are happily married with 3 beautiful children. We screw like rabbits on a daily basis and couldn't be happier. We have trust because I know she is not a slut.

This is what good friends are for - to be there when the going gets a little rough...

Sex is an intimate act, you are getting in to each others aura's and it touches you on a spiritual level...

Fb's are a mutual agreement, an understanding... But, when it carries on for three years, as you mentioned, it is bound to lead to more...

IMO, it is best to set a time limit before it starts, then have the discipline to stick to it...

OP how old are you?

When I was doing the FWB thing with a guy I was 24 years old. It was great while it lasted but never went into anything serious and after a year he was doing the pet names (baby, hun, doll) that stuff.

Ask him what he sees the relationship as and that will clarify everything.

If it breaks your heart then well it does but at least you know.

- Sara

You have been fooling yourself about not being in love with him. He KNOWS that you are in love with him and not interested in other men. Your heart is already on the line.

Ask point blank how he feels. You need to decide right now if you can live with the possibility that he keeps on being your fuck buddy for another year then leaves you for Ms. Better than you and you have wasted your life in love with a man that will never be yours.

Find out. If he has been leading your heart on, yet reserving freedom, he may not really have your best interest at heart and just using you lady.

Once you whore yourself out for free, don't be surprised if the guy doesn't want to pay for your ass.

Sorry.

Friends with benefits is just another name for whores for free.

need another 'fuck buddy'?

excuse me, lady, but whatever sort of committed relationship do you think you can have with this guy if you can't even speak to him about this right now?

FFS stop pussyfooting. Life really truly is far too short for the head stuff you're doing with this.

I'm 28, have only had long term relationships-in fact when we met I had just broken up with the man I thought I'd marry. I"ve never been the one to start the whole "relationship" chat, but then again, I've never had a fwb before either so this is new territory.

I just want to know if I stand a chance with him or if he's already written me off for the fwb stuff.

Well, I've only slept with the two men I've had serious long term relationships with and now him, so this is new to me. I know all about "putting the pussy on a pedistal" stuff. But I never figured this guy would still be around 3 years later, let alone talking every day and becoming best friends. I never intended it to go on this long, but we are good together.

This is just a unique situation for me and I want to know if I should give it a try, or look elsewhere and save my friendship with him. Of course if I found someone else, I wouldn't sleep with him (fwb) anymore. I'd just like to give him "first dibs" before I go looking but don't want to embarrass myself.

Whore.

I've never had a friend, so I've never had one with benefits either.

thanks for the input, that was really helpful

No problem.

I like to call a spade a spade.

Its not that I don't think I can discuss this with him, I will. But I wanted some thoughts on it before I do, since this is a foreign situation for me. I wanted a man's perspective on how they feel towards their fwb and if it is possible to start a meaningful relationship after the fact.

I don't even know if I do love him more than a friend. And I don't think he thinks so either. I have been as neutral as possible all these years when he is affectionate because I valued the friendship and didn't want to fall into something I wasn't ready for. But I'm ready now.

You bring up a great point to wasting time on him if he really doesn't want me. But even if that's the case, I want to keep him as a friend. He's turned into one of my good friends.

BLASPHEMY!!!

i want some

well are you hot? or dog shit ugly or fat. Thats what it really comes down too. i mean i wont be going around calling a fat chick my girlfriend but id fuck the hell out of one everytime she'd give it up. They got alotta cushin for the pushin. so soft. lmao but really tho just ask the dude how he feels about if not then on to the next one. oh and id like to know did your break up with that last dude you were gonna marry? if so why?

well generally everything turns into a big pile of crap but who knows maybe your situation will work out as desired. if the two of you are emotionally connected will be the determining factor.

I'm not ugly or fat, but I'm not conceited either. I did some print modeling a few years back. But I realize that in general, men like different things. Skinny is hot for one guy and makes the next guy sick, and some guys loves big boobs and others think they're gross. To each his own.

This guy tells me he likes my body and thinks I'm beautiful. And I don't bait or troll for complements (complements actually make me uncomfortable), so that is all him.

Since you asked, I found out the fiancee was cheating on me-with men. I don't have a problem with homosexuality, but I don't want to marry one either.

true. and well thats good but i think jumping in the whole fuck buddy situation and letting it go on for that long might have fucked it up just ask about how he feels. and for the last part WHAT THE FUCKIN GROSS?!?! ima pretend i didnt just read that. lol

honey, you are selling yourself short. God made you for a reason, there is a man out there who would love to be your husband without you second guessing and wondering... You are meant for a deep committed relationship to have a family, kids one day. This FWB stuff is very unnatural to us human beings, it robs us from from real deep connection with people and the Creator, and only adds regrets. You are much better then this.

OK--you asked.

You stated that you both were not in a position to want a "real" relationship three years ago, but now you want more.

Girl--you control the cookie--you have all the power, you have to use it.

first, if you are ready for a more serious relationship, you will never get one with this going on--what "Real Man" would put up with that kind of a friend?

Bring it up, and what is there to ruin? Time is valuable, don't waste yours.

1. Tell him you have to stop being physical with him and back off from your friendship for awhile.

2. Start dating, but don't sell yourself short--men value what they have to work for.

If he has feelings for you it will drive him crazy to think of losing you.

If not--you need to move on.

For some great advice and a good "MAN ual" buy--Steve Harvey's "Act Like A Woman, Think Like a Man"

The movie is first rate too--Take some advice from someone who has been there done that--

Of course, you've seen the movies, right?


It always ends in a "happy ending!"