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Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1251597
India
10/08/2012 07:05 AM
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Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
As example,
What happens in Hell? Is Hitler your God to torture people
so much just for not bowing down to him?
pope
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24276364
10/08/2012 07:09 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
As example,
What happens in Hell? Is Hitler your God to torture people
so much just for not bowing down to him?
pope
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1251597


The Hell is there for the dissolution of your body AND soul. No one needs your worshiping God. But you.
jdb

User ID: 2426721
United States
10/08/2012 07:11 AM

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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
As example,
What happens in Hell? Is Hitler your God to torture people
so much just for not bowing down to him?
pope
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1251597


The Hell is there for the dissolution of your body AND soul. No one needs your worshiping God. But you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24276364


Re "No one needs your worshiping God...but you"!

Well said!
God Is! We're not! Let's knock off all the nonsense!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 525676
Estonia
10/08/2012 07:11 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Just ignore them, that works best. Their justification for preaching relies on them fighting evil, so if there's no one they can fight with - they fail.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1135427
United States
10/08/2012 07:12 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
You are in hell and as wrought with sin as I. So what do you think you have to teach me?
Face Palmer
Rated "P" for pathetic.

User ID: 1149868
Germany
10/08/2012 07:13 AM

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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
"I will sacrifice a chicken tonight to deliver your soul to satan" should STFU every preacher lol
"The world will soon wake up to the reality that everyone is broke and can collect nothing from the bankrupt, who are owed unlimited amounts by the insolvent, who are attempting to make late payments on a bank holiday in the wrong country, with an unacceptable currency, against defaulted collateral, of which nobody is sure who holds title."

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Inquisitor X
User ID: 1351603
United States
10/08/2012 07:14 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Religion = Opiate of masses? Good luck with that desade.

All the torture devices originated with the church.



And we all know that means elites are "Diary of English Opium Eater"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20737157
United States
10/08/2012 07:14 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
What you and the preacher fail to understand is that everything is God, including you and the preacher.

This is what makes your argument rather hilarious.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22089462
Netherlands
10/08/2012 07:15 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
As example,
What happens in Hell? Is Hitler your God to torture people
so much just for not bowing down to him?
pope
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1251597


Why do we have sex with others with our own bodies sewer system?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17090286
United States
10/08/2012 07:16 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Preacher touch my naughty spot, make it sweaty, make it hot.

Let me be your altar boy, dress me up, I'll be your toy.

These two sentences will either shut him up or make you run your ass off.
jdb

User ID: 2426721
United States
10/08/2012 07:16 AM

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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Just ignore them, that works best. Their justification for preaching relies on them fighting evil, so if there's no one they can fight with - they fail.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 525676


In His Name we fight for *you* - you don't receive...you fail for eternity! Your choice you will remember with a regret that is beyond imagination!

Choose Life - choose to follow Jesus, The Most High God!
God Is! We're not! Let's knock off all the nonsense!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17090286
United States
10/08/2012 07:17 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Just ignore them, that works best. Their justification for preaching relies on them fighting evil, so if there's no one they can fight with - they fail.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 525676


In His Name we fight for *you* - you don't receive...you fail for eternity! Your choice you will remember with a regret that is beyond imagination!

Choose Life - choose to follow Jesus, The Most High God!
 Quoting: jdb


Yeah, I'm all for Jesus. Is it alright that I just don't like the Church? I have never liked it, I don't trust it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24868786
Australia
10/08/2012 07:18 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Two sentences, eh?

Why not give him life
jdb

User ID: 2426721
United States
10/08/2012 07:20 AM

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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Just ignore them, that works best. Their justification for preaching relies on them fighting evil, so if there's no one they can fight with - they fail.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 525676


In His Name we fight for *you* - you don't receive...you fail for eternity! Your choice you will remember with a regret that is beyond imagination!

Choose Life - choose to follow Jesus, The Most High God!
 Quoting: jdb


Yeah, I'm all for Jesus. Is it alright that I just don't like the Church? I have never liked it, I don't trust it.
 Quoting: Cave Johnson


If (sincerely and respectfully) you ever want to talk about that, pm me
God Is! We're not! Let's knock off all the nonsense!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1251597
India
10/08/2012 07:21 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Just ignore them, that works best. Their justification for preaching relies on them fighting evil, so if there's no one they can fight with - they fail.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 525676


Someone seems to have hired too many preachers and they may be getting good commission to convert, hence the harassment is increasing day by day :(
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 24771157
United States
10/08/2012 07:23 AM

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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
OP, don't you have a cow to go worship?
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25113698
Australia
10/08/2012 07:26 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
-where was God when his clergy were abusing children.
There is no comeback. For to weave this horrendous deed into a "greater plan" or the "individual evil" involves handing God a level of complicity.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25113698
Australia
10/08/2012 07:27 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Just ignore them, that works best. Their justification for preaching relies on them fighting evil, so if there's no one they can fight with - they fail.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 525676


Someone seems to have hired too many preachers and they may be getting good commission to convert, hence the harassment is increasing day by day :(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1251597


perhaps you should just chase the money trail.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1018225
United States
10/08/2012 07:27 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
I have found that three sets of options work best.

1. Ask what denomination they are. Tell them you don't have anything to do with that denomination because it is against the Bible and they are going to hell.

2. Tell them you are a Jehovah's witness, and you want to talk to them about saving their soul.


3. Tell them you are a Satanist. Ask them if they would like to have all the money they can dream, and all the sex they can imagine.

All three work very well when someone comes up to you in person and starts preaching.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25148952
United States
10/08/2012 07:32 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Number 2 the JW one is a keeper. I'll use that one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25177053
United Kingdom
10/08/2012 07:33 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
As example,
What happens in Hell? Is Hitler your God to torture people
so much just for not bowing down to him?
pope
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1251597


1. ever stopped a moving bullet with your head?
2.do you think this gun is loaded?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22398352
New Zealand
10/08/2012 07:37 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
1. If God is omnipotent why did he require his son to be tortured in a complex ritual to atone for human sin instead of just forgiving the sin.

2. If God is omnipotent why does he need Jesus or the bible when he could just zap any necessary information into our heads at any time and make it perfectly clear.

3. Why isn't there any historical evidence for Jesus?

4. How did Noah get the different species to the different places on earth, and how did he keep the fresh water fish from dying when the salt water inundated inland waterways.

5. Why isn't there any historical evidence from the Egyptians of the captivity of the Jews or their exodus?

6. Why send Jesus in 30 AD instead of 4000 BC right after the fall from the garden instead of having all of human population until that time spend thousands of years in Hell?

7. Why won't God heal amputees?

8. Why hasn't any supernatural event ever been scientifically documented?

9. If God is omniscient than why is Caan able to hide from him, why does he change his mind and flood the world instead of doing it right the first time, why does he allow Satan to tempt people?

10. If God is omnipotent how is it that he can be beaten by iron chariots?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25177045
Netherlands
10/08/2012 07:39 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Nice home with rest and something to get your mind off of nothing some relaxing safe money and a job (but not the ..........
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25177045
Netherlands
10/08/2012 07:41 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
And a safe hey hi there again ress machine.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25130834
Belgium
10/08/2012 07:41 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
...not the what?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25130834
Belgium
10/08/2012 07:42 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
no way you're too insane for me
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25177045
Netherlands
10/08/2012 07:43 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
Not the fuck you oahf fraud buro.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17090286
United States
10/08/2012 07:43 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
As example,
What happens in Hell? Is Hitler your God to torture people
so much just for not bowing down to him?
pope
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1251597


1. ever stopped a moving bullet with your head?
2.do you think this gun is loaded?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25177053


I did once, I had severe frontal lobe damage and a complete personality change. Also was in a coma for 2 months. Any other questions?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17090286
United States
10/08/2012 07:43 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
As example,
What happens in Hell? Is Hitler your God to torture people
so much just for not bowing down to him?
pope
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1251597


1. ever stopped a moving bullet with your head?
2.do you think this gun is loaded?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25177053


I did once, I had severe frontal lobe damage and a complete personality change. Also was in a coma for 2 months. Any other questions?
 Quoting: Cave Johnson


Okay, I lied. I just thought it sounded cool.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25130834
Belgium
10/08/2012 07:45 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
k
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25130834
Belgium
10/08/2012 07:45 AM
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Re: Please Suggest me two sentences to STFU any preacher
k

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