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"The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain

 
Accidental Stoner
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Finland
10/08/2012 05:44 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Try Finnish.


bonghit
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10/08/2012 05:47 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
ugly looking and sounding language

its a brilliant irony that it will eventually die out faster than many languages, considering germany wished (and still wishes) to impose itself on the rest of europe, and yet it is only spoken in germany and only somewhat in austria


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22820077


Correct, because :

Oiso mia in Östareich redn ka görman sundan unsa eiganes Deitsch des wos si nit nua aundas auheat ois wias deitsche, es wiad a gaunz aundas gschriem.

And only in austrian german the following makes sense:

Do iat a di und do iat a di und do iat a di a
Anonymous Coward
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10/08/2012 05:50 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
ugly looking and sounding language

its a brilliant irony that it will eventually die out faster than many languages, considering germany wished (and still wishes) to impose itself on the rest of europe, and yet it is only spoken in germany and only somewhat in austria


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22820077


Correct, because :

Oiso mia in Östareich redn ka görman sundan unsa eiganes Deitsch des wos si nit nua aundas auheat ois wias deitsche, es wiad a gaunz aundas gschriem.

And only in austrian german the following makes sense:

Do iat a di und do iat a di und do iat a di a
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 331367


Thats just bavarian!
Anonymous Coward
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10/08/2012 05:52 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
ugly looking and sounding language

its a brilliant irony that it will eventually die out faster than many languages, considering germany wished (and still wishes) to impose itself on the rest of europe, and yet it is only spoken in germany and only somewhat in austria


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22820077


Correct, because :

Oiso mia in Östareich redn ka görman sundan unsa eiganes Deitsch des wos si nit nua aundas auheat ois wias deitsche, es wiad a gaunz aundas gschriem.

And only in austrian german the following makes sense:

Do iat a di und do iat a di und do iat a di a
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 331367


Thats just bavarian!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25185095


Bavaria and austria belong to the same inner-german language group.
Anonymous Coward
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10/08/2012 05:52 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Saxonion dialect is the best.

Anonymous Coward
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Germany
10/08/2012 05:56 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Fick mig up ..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25183121


may i...



the correct (not literal) translation for "it fucked me up" into german is "es hat mich durcheinander gebracht".


tomato
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25123144


lol

Wie kommst Du auf 'durcheinander' ? Es mag zwar eine Möglichkeit sein, doch in den meisten Fällen dürfte die Übersetzung so lauten:

'Es hat mich fertig gemacht.'
Anonymous Coward
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10/08/2012 05:58 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
how do you say, "I want to butt hump an aardvark" in German?
Anonymous Coward
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10/08/2012 06:07 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
i'm sorry i don't want to fuck up (durcheinanderbringen) this otherwise interesting thread.

tomatobanana2
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25123144


rofl
Anonymous Coward
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10/08/2012 06:16 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Ah.. Deutsch, die Sprache der Liebe.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 998738


On singing in German, George Bernard Shaw once said:

“Wagner's music has some wonderful moments but awful half hours.”


More Mark Twain Quotes:

Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.

In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.



[link to www.twainquotes.com]
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
10/08/2012 06:17 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
You have to love a language/people who have a word which means "to enjoy other peoples suffering"

Schadenfreude

Manu-Koelbren

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10/08/2012 06:26 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
i'm sorry i don't want to fuck up (durcheinanderbringen) this otherwise interesting thread.

tomatobanana2
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25123144


Did you just insult my mother?
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Manu-Koelbren

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10/08/2012 06:38 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Try Finnish.


bonghit
 Quoting: Accidental Stoner 25196548


What about Danish, I may go to live there at some point but learning the language may prove a challenge.
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Anonymous Coward
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10/08/2012 06:43 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Speaking German makes your voice deeper.
Anonymous Coward
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Germany
10/08/2012 06:47 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Ah.. Deutsch, die Sprache der Liebe.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 998738


chuckle
Accidental Stoner
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10/08/2012 06:48 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Try Finnish.


bonghit
 Quoting: Accidental Stoner 25196548


What about Danish, I may go to live there at some point but learning the language may prove a challenge.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


lmao

Just stuff a hot potato in your mouth and speak Swedish!
Won't help you with their insane numbers-and-figures system, though.

(Most Danes do seem to speak good English.)
Anonymous Coward
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10/08/2012 06:53 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Ah.. Deutsch, die Sprache der Liebe.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 998738


Zwei Holländer besteigen einen Flug nach London. Einer nimmt den Fensterplatz, der andere setzt sich neben ihn auf den mittleren Platz. Kurz vor dem Start setzt sich ein Deutscher auf den Platz am Gang.

Nach dem Start zieht der Deutsche seine Schuhe aus, wackelt mit seinen Zehen und macht es sich gemütlich, als der Holländer auf dem Fensterplatz sagt: "Entschuldigen Sie, ich muss aufstehen und mir eine Cola holen."

"Bleiben Sie ruhig sitzen", sagt der Deutsche, "ich sitze am Gang. Ich hol' Ihnen Ihre Cola."

Kaum ist er aufgestanden, nimmt einer der Holländer einen seiner Schuhe und spuckt hinein. Als er mit der Cola zurückkehrt, sagt der andere Holländer: "Das sieht gut aus, ich hätte auch gerne eine." Wieder erklärt sich der Deutsche bereit, sie zu holen. Als er weg ist, nimmt der andere Holländer den anderen Schuh und spuckt ebenfalls hinein. Als der Deutsche zurückkommt, lehnen sie sich alle zurück und genießen den Flug.

Als das Flugzeug zur Landung ansetzt, zieht der Deutsche seine Schuhe an und bemerkt sofort was passiert ist.

"Warum nur?" fragt er, "Wie lange wird das noch weitergehen? Dieser Kampf zwischen unseren Nationen. Dieser Hass. Diese Animositäten. Dieses In-die-Schuhe-Spucken und In-die-Cola-Pissen."
Anonymous Coward
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10/08/2012 06:54 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Ah.. Deutsch, die Sprache der Liebe.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 998738


Zwei Holländer besteigen einen Flug nach London. Einer nimmt den Fensterplatz, der andere setzt sich neben ihn auf den mittleren Platz. Kurz vor dem Start setzt sich ein Deutscher auf den Platz am Gang.

Nach dem Start zieht der Deutsche seine Schuhe aus, wackelt mit seinen Zehen und macht es sich gemütlich, als der Holländer auf dem Fensterplatz sagt: "Entschuldigen Sie, ich muss aufstehen und mir eine Cola holen."

"Bleiben Sie ruhig sitzen", sagt der Deutsche, "ich sitze am Gang. Ich hol' Ihnen Ihre Cola."

Kaum ist er aufgestanden, nimmt einer der Holländer einen seiner Schuhe und spuckt hinein. Als er mit der Cola zurückkehrt, sagt der andere Holländer: "Das sieht gut aus, ich hätte auch gerne eine." Wieder erklärt sich der Deutsche bereit, sie zu holen. Als er weg ist, nimmt der andere Holländer den anderen Schuh und spuckt ebenfalls hinein. Als der Deutsche zurückkommt, lehnen sie sich alle zurück und genießen den Flug.

Als das Flugzeug zur Landung ansetzt, zieht der Deutsche seine Schuhe an und bemerkt sofort was passiert ist.

"Warum nur?" fragt er, "Wie lange wird das noch weitergehen? Dieser Kampf zwischen unseren Nationen. Dieser Hass. Diese Animositäten. Dieses In-die-Schuhe-Spucken und In-die-Cola-Pissen."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 976158


lolsign
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Netherlands
10/08/2012 07:11 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Ah.. Deutsch, die Sprache der Liebe.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 998738


Zwei Holländer besteigen einen Flug nach London. Einer nimmt den Fensterplatz, der andere setzt sich neben ihn auf den mittleren Platz. Kurz vor dem Start setzt sich ein Deutscher auf den Platz am Gang.

Nach dem Start zieht der Deutsche seine Schuhe aus, wackelt mit seinen Zehen und macht es sich gemütlich, als der Holländer auf dem Fensterplatz sagt: "Entschuldigen Sie, ich muss aufstehen und mir eine Cola holen."

"Bleiben Sie ruhig sitzen", sagt der Deutsche, "ich sitze am Gang. Ich hol' Ihnen Ihre Cola."

Kaum ist er aufgestanden, nimmt einer der Holländer einen seiner Schuhe und spuckt hinein. Als er mit der Cola zurückkehrt, sagt der andere Holländer: "Das sieht gut aus, ich hätte auch gerne eine." Wieder erklärt sich der Deutsche bereit, sie zu holen. Als er weg ist, nimmt der andere Holländer den anderen Schuh und spuckt ebenfalls hinein. Als der Deutsche zurückkommt, lehnen sie sich alle zurück und genießen den Flug.

Als das Flugzeug zur Landung ansetzt, zieht der Deutsche seine Schuhe an und bemerkt sofort was passiert ist.

"Warum nur?" fragt er, "Wie lange wird das noch weitergehen? Dieser Kampf zwischen unseren Nationen. Dieser Hass. Diese Animositäten. Dieses In-die-Schuhe-Spucken und In-die-Cola-Pissen."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 976158


Nicht alle Niederlander sind anti deutsch. Im gegenteil.
Anonymous Coward
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Germany
10/08/2012 07:17 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
@OP
Ja, der Dativ ist dem Genitiv sein Tod.

If you get that, you mastered german :D
Manu-Koelbren

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Spain
10/08/2012 07:19 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
Try Finnish.


bonghit
 Quoting: Accidental Stoner 25196548


What about Danish, I may go to live there at some point but learning the language may prove a challenge.
 Quoting: Manu-Koelbren


lmao

Just stuff a hot potato in your mouth and speak Swedish!
Won't help you with their insane numbers-and-figures system, though.

(Most Danes do seem to speak good English.)
 Quoting: Accidental Stoner 25196548


cruise

yeah I know they speak English but I wouldn't like to go there and force them to speak a foreign language for my sake (and I know if I asked them to they would do it, those folk are too nice for their own sake)
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
jdb

User ID: 2426721
United States
10/08/2012 07:22 PM

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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
I took both English and German in school, so I can attest to the fact German is harder to grasp. My English may not be flawless, but at least it compares favorably to what most native speakers can manage...

So, what about my German then? Well, this is the sum total of my knowledge in this backwards language:


1. Durch, fur, gegen, ohne, um. (That's a list of words that make some other word take some special grammatical form. The details are as lost to me now as they were when I memorized the list.)

2. Es ist ein kuhlshrank. "It is a refrigerator". This everyday phrase could prove useful some time, you never know!

3. Ein hubschrauber fliegt davon. "A helicopter flies over there." One day I will probably see a black helicopter over my house if I keep writing shit on the internet, and then this phrase may come in handy!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 300884


LOL - thanks for the laugh!!!
God Is! We're not! Let's knock off all the nonsense!
Water Flower

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United States
10/08/2012 10:10 PM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
there's only one thing i like to hear in german.


Anonymous Coward (OP)
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Germany
10/09/2012 07:02 AM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
@OP
Ja, der Dativ ist dem Genitiv sein Tod.

If you get that, you mastered german :D
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25208281


hab das buch gelesen der Dativ ist des Genetivs Tod sollte es ja eigentlich heißen naja was soll ich jetzt noch hier dazu schreiben finde das Thema interessant bin aber leider ein asoziales Vieh und von daher eigentlich durchaus in der Lage die Sprache anzuwenden und soetwas aber leider spreche ich so gut wie nie.

Naja egal abgesehen davon.

Ich finds nur wie soll ich sagen nicht so gut wenn Leute sich das lesen was ich hier von mir gebe und dann auf alle Deutsche schließen das wäre dumm.

Ich bin einfach nur ein Depp. Deppen gibts überall. Ob Asien, Nordamerika oder sonstwo.

Haha.

Ist eigetnlich auch nicht so sinnvoll so schlecht von sich selber zu schreiben.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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Germany
10/09/2012 07:02 AM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
@OP
Ja, der Dativ ist dem Genitiv sein Tod.

If you get that, you mastered german :D
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25208281


hab das buch gelesen der Dativ ist des Genetivs Tod sollte es ja eigentlich heißen naja was soll ich jetzt noch hier dazu schreiben finde das Thema interessant bin aber leider ein asoziales Vieh und von daher eigentlich durchaus in der Lage die Sprache anzuwenden und soetwas aber leider spreche ich so gut wie nie.

Naja egal abgesehen davon.

Ich finds nur wie soll ich sagen nicht so gut wenn Leute sich das lesen was ich hier von mir gebe und dann auf alle Deutsche schließen das wäre dumm.

Ich bin einfach nur ein Depp. Deppen gibts überall. Ob Asien, Nordamerika oder sonstwo.

Haha.

Ist eigetnlich auch nicht so sinnvoll so schlecht von sich selber zu schreiben.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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Germany
10/09/2012 07:02 AM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
@OP
Ja, der Dativ ist dem Genitiv sein Tod.

If you get that, you mastered german :D
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25208281


hab das buch gelesen der Dativ ist des Genetivs Tod sollte es ja eigentlich heißen naja was soll ich jetzt noch hier dazu schreiben finde das Thema interessant bin aber leider ein asoziales Vieh und von daher eigentlich durchaus in der Lage die Sprache anzuwenden und soetwas aber leider spreche ich so gut wie nie.

Naja egal abgesehen davon.

Ich finds nur wie soll ich sagen nicht so gut wenn Leute sich das lesen was ich hier von mir gebe und dann auf alle Deutsche schließen das wäre dumm.

Ich bin einfach nur ein Depp. Deppen gibts überall. Ob Asien, Nordamerika oder sonstwo.

Haha.

Ist eigetnlich auch nicht so sinnvoll so schlecht von sich selber zu schreiben.


rant
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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Germany
10/09/2012 07:04 AM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
oh doppel ne dreifach post das tut mir leid sorry for the triple post mkay it was an accident.

so anyway.

I think the german language is very verspielt that its so precise you can play around with it and stuff. Its the language of the thinkers and the poets.


If you understand what I just wrote and the posts before you are mentally ill.

No just kidding.


Chear up y'all relax and enjoy life.



rant
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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Germany
10/09/2012 07:09 AM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
ugly looking and sounding language

its a brilliant irony that it will eventually die out faster than many languages, considering germany wished (and still wishes) to impose itself on the rest of europe, and yet it is only spoken in germany and only somewhat in austria

plus, its difficult to master when it isnt your own tongue. kind of linguistic darwinism

germany keeps trying to have its own empire. hitler envied the british and wished for a german empire to rival the british


why they continue to teach it in english schools is beyond me. chinese would be far more useful
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22820077


even if i am ugly sounding and looking you shouldn't deduct that all germans are like me.

so anyway
ich hab diesen Thread schon ziemlich idiotifiziert aber but and stuff what I'm actually trying to say

I, the op might be a dickhead, that doesn't mean all germans are like me.


whatever.


Ich wollte eigentlich nur sharen den Artikel von

I just was trying to share the
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/09/2012 07:11 AM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
I'm from east germany east germans are like nig*as to west germans. lolol

those paranoid xenophobic ***


anyway if you take this stuff seriously i




actually i'm just trying to share this great litarary work of reputable 19th century American writer Mark Twain because maybe some are not aware of it or havent heard of it and i thought it might stimulate interesting conversation.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/09/2012 07:12 AM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
ugly looking and sounding language

its a brilliant irony that it will eventually die out faster than many languages, considering germany wished (and still wishes) to impose itself on the rest of europe, and yet it is only spoken in germany and only somewhat in austria


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22820077


Correct, because :

Oiso mia in Östareich redn ka görman sundan unsa eiganes Deitsch des wos si nit nua aundas auheat ois wias deitsche, es wiad a gaunz aundas gschriem.

And only in austrian german the following makes sense:

Do iat a di und do iat a di und do iat a di a
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 331367


if you dont like germany why dont you find yourselves some other language like hungarian, italian, french or english?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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Germany
10/09/2012 07:13 AM
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Re: "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain
"I went often to look at the collection of curiosities in Heidelberg Castle, and one day I surprised the keeper of it with my German. I spoke entirely in that language. He was greatly interested; and after I had talked a while he said my German was very rare, possibly a "unique"; and wanted to add it to his museum.

If he had known what it had cost me to acquire my art, he would also have known that it would break any collector to buy it. Harris and I had been hard at work on our German during several weeks at that time, and although we had made good progress, it had been accomplished under great difficulty and annoyance, for three of our teachers had died in the mean time. A person who has not studied German can form no idea of what a perplexing language it is.

Surely there is not another language that is so slipshod and systemless, and so slippery and elusive to the grasp. One is washed about in it, hither and thither, in the most helpless way; and when at last he thinks he has captured a rule which offers firm ground to take a rest on amid the general rage and turmoil of the ten parts of speech, he turns over the page and reads, "Let the pupil make careful note of the following exceptions." He runs his eye down and finds that there are more exceptions to the rule than instances of it. So overboard he goes again, to hunt for another Ararat and find another quicksand. Such has been, and continues to be, my experience. Every time I think I have got one of these four confusing "cases" where I am master of it, a seemingly insignificant preposition intrudes itself into my sentence, clothed with an awful and unsuspected power, and crumbles the ground from under me. For instance, my book inquires after a certain bird -- (it is always inquiring after things which are of no sort of consequence to anybody): "Where is the bird?" Now the answer to this question -- according to the book -- is that the bird is waiting in the blacksmith shop on account of the rain. Of course no bird would do that, but then you must stick to the book. Very well, I begin to cipher out the German for that answer. I begin at the wrong end, necessarily, for that is the German idea. I say to myself, "Regen (rain) is masculine -- or maybe it is feminine -- or possibly neuter -- it is too much trouble to look now. Therefore, it is either der (the) Regen, or die (the) Regen, or das (the) Regen, according to which gender it may turn out to be when I look. In the interest of science, I will cipher it out on the hypothesis that it is masculine. Very well -- then the rain is der Regen, if it is simply in the quiescent state of being mentioned, without enlargement or discussion -- Nominative case; but if this rain is lying around, in a kind of a general way on the ground, it is then definitely located, it is doing something -- that is, resting (which is one of the German grammar's ideas of doing something), and this throws the rain into the Dative case, and makes it dem Regen. However, this rain is not resting, but is doing something actively, -- it is falling -- to interfere with the bird, likely -- and this indicates movement, which has the effect of sliding it into the Accusative case and changing dem Regen into den Regen." Having completed the grammatical horoscope of this matter, I answer up confidently and state in German that the bird is staying in the blacksmith shop "wegen (on account of) den Regen." Then the teacher lets me softly down with the remark that whenever the word "wegen" drops into a sentence, it always throws that subject into the Genitive case, regardless of consequences -- and that therefore this bird stayed in the blacksmith shop "wegen des Regens.""


[link to www.crossmyt.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25123144

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