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If a man keeps turning down sex...

 
moot

User ID: 1076292
United States
10/09/2012 10:04 PM

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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
bdance
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24767321
Japan
10/09/2012 10:05 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
No offense to the op but she must be like 300pounds...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21728885
United States
10/09/2012 10:07 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Two logical reasons
a: your ugly
b: your pussy smells
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25246117
United States
10/09/2012 10:07 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Believe it or not - sometimes we men (adults) actually get tired of sex. Masturbation is quick and easy with none of the emotional hang-ups that comes with a partner.

Me and my wife have been together for a wee bit over 20 years and for a period of 3 years I'm not sure if we even had sex - and although I felt guilty, I simply was not interested.

Things changed after I read something (I wish I could remember the title and could post a link) that explained that the sex drive had to be exercised. If you (and him) made an effort to simply go through the motions 2 to 3 times a week the sexual appetite will come back and will last. It's one of those things where the more you do it - the more you want to do it.

Hon - I've watched or read porn throughout my marriage and have never cheated on my wife. I loved her than and now (even though she's now a bit on the chubby side like myself) but would never consider being with another. It's an escape into my imagination - that's all.

Best thing to do is talk to him - explain that YOU have a need and ask him to do this for you. Set up a schedule (Tuesdays and Fridays or whatever) and keep to it no matter how either one of you feel that night. Make the night a little special - favorite foods, wine, use your imagination. Before long he will start reminding you that it's Nookie Night and will enjoy it himself. NEVER deviate from the schedule (unless one of you are truly ill or away) - but feel free to add an extra night whenever the "need" arises for him. You can always "test the waters" for your own desires.

If he loves you, and you explain that it's a need for you, he'll go through the motions for you at first, and begin to enjoy it again in the near future. If he refuses to meet your needs to save your relationship - well... to put it bluntly - he doesn't love you and you will have to work that out on your own.

Hope this wall of text helps... It saved my marriage.
Mr. D
User ID: 4603964
United States
10/09/2012 10:08 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Are you talking about Real sex or virtual fake sex? You know why if it is the latter, only the real thing will do.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25140339
United States
10/09/2012 10:10 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
My advice would be to talk to him and encourage to build up his "strength" for you. If he waits a day or two, he'll be like a stallion with you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1185588
United States
10/09/2012 10:11 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
it means he's an addict and a narcissist. it's not you, it's him. but you're probably not helping.
Travis Bickle
Vigilantes need love too....

User ID: 1484907
United States
10/09/2012 10:13 PM

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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Looks like OP got baned for her 'Call-out' thread.
 Quoting: wisc_natureboy


May have.... I had just sent her a PM too... Oh well, she'll sweat for a while then maybe wise up.
One of these days... A *REAL* rain is gonna come and wash all this scum off the streets.
eve incognito
User ID: 25176502
Bosnia and Herzegovina
10/09/2012 10:14 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
hmmm.very strange.ppl who use sex as reward or panishment, or as blackmailing bargening chip, are so nasty....i don't care how mad you are, or tired, or sick, unless ur partner cheated on you, or killed a puppy, you got to put out....if you are asked for sex by your significant other, it is ur sacred duty to put out....unless yah some serious crime has been comitted....sweety it could be a number of reasons why he is aviding sex, you have to make hi tell you, honestly. if he will not, there you he is hiding something, bt it can still be a number of things, only he knows....
moot

User ID: 1076292
United States
10/09/2012 10:16 PM

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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
rastabanan
****SUPERFLY****

User ID: 19055858
United States
10/09/2012 10:17 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Looks like OP got baned for her 'Call-out' thread.
 Quoting: wisc_natureboy


May have.... I had just sent her a PM too... Oh well, she'll sweat for a while then maybe wise up.
 Quoting: Travis Bickle


She sent a message in another thread just before the ban, asking me something I said previously. She's searching for so many answers.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7061022
United States
10/09/2012 10:18 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Speaking as a female, when I watch porn it totally burns into my brain. I can't get the images out of my mind.

It does affect your psychology and I guess for guys it is more exciting to do the extreme or brutal sex acts that most women will not agree to.

I don't think u should compromise ur self in this way. He is not marriage material.
eve incognito
User ID: 25176502
Bosnia and Herzegovina
10/09/2012 10:19 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Believe it or not - sometimes we men (adults) actually get tired of sex. Masturbation is quick and easy with none of the emotional hang-ups that comes with a partner.

Me and my wife have been together for a wee bit over 20 years and for a period of 3 years I'm not sure if we even had sex - and although I felt guilty, I simply was not interested.

Things changed after I read something (I wish I could remember the title and could post a link) that explained that the sex drive had to be exercised. If you (and him) made an effort to simply go through the motions 2 to 3 times a week the sexual appetite will come back and will last. It's one of those things where the more you do it - the more you want to do it.

Hon - I've watched or read porn throughout my marriage and have never cheated on my wife. I loved her than and now (even though she's now a bit on the chubby side like myself) but would never consider being with another. It's an escape into my imagination - that's all.

Best thing to do is talk to him - explain that YOU have a need and ask him to do this for you. Set up a schedule (Tuesdays and Fridays or whatever) and keep to it no matter how either one of you feel that night. Make the night a little special - favorite foods, wine, use your imagination. Before long he will start reminding you that it's Nookie Night and will enjoy it himself. NEVER deviate from the schedule (unless one of you are truly ill or away) - but feel free to add an extra night whenever the "need" arises for him. You can always "test the waters" for your own desires.

If he loves you, and you explain that it's a need for you, he'll go through the motions for you at first, and begin to enjoy it again in the near future. If he refuses to meet your needs to save your relationship - well... to put it bluntly - he doesn't love you and you will have to work that out on your own.

Hope this wall of text helps... It saved my marriage.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25246117


aw my goodness, i firmly believe that not having sex at least every second day is grounds for divorce. i can go one day without making love to my man,(if i have to) the next day if i don't get mine, i get very nervous and jumpy, and have trouble sleeping.
doomsucker
WORLD

User ID: 24873192
United States
10/09/2012 10:20 PM

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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Go on a vacation for a while without him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23097787


Can't afford a vacation, but I might be going to a Walking Dead season premiere party Sunday without him. But, that's just because he has to work.
 Quoting: Kristina


Walking Dead season premiere party

Nothing more needs to be said......
'Politicians are like diapers; they need to be changed often and for the same reason.' - Mark Twain

sheep1sheeeeeeeeeppepe
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23318413
United States
10/09/2012 10:21 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
...because he says he's too tired, yet he still "does it" to Internet porn, could he REALLY be too tired?? Or could there be another logical reason? Or is he just cheating? I know, I'm beating a dead horse here (see my prior posts) but I would just like to hear from the guys out there. Could there be a logical excuse??
 Quoting: Kristina


your pussy might have a bad smell
you might be fat
you might annoy him somehow
you might be just ugly
you might be just more sexually active
you might be just to saggy
you might just be to loose

so many goddamn reasons
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25268353


this

what a troll thread
Travis Bickle
Vigilantes need love too....

User ID: 1484907
United States
10/09/2012 10:23 PM

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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Looks like OP got baned for her 'Call-out' thread.
 Quoting: wisc_natureboy


May have.... I had just sent her a PM too... Oh well, she'll sweat for a while then maybe wise up.
 Quoting: Travis Bickle


She sent a message in another thread just before the ban, asking me something I said previously. She's searching for so many answers.
 Quoting: ****SUPERFLY****


Yeah... I started to feel bad for her. She seemed a little TOO desperate. That's why I PM'd.

Oh well, Back to
end

LOL
One of these days... A *REAL* rain is gonna come and wash all this scum off the streets.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1461956
United States
10/09/2012 10:24 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
He does not want to be close to you.

For a man to turn down sex is rare, and there is ALWAYS a reason. It is either mostly his fault (porn?) or mostly your fault (bitching and complaining). Or worse, both of these.

My guess is that he's turned to porn for his sexual and even emotional outlet. The question is why. Like others have said, "It's easier".

If you are a shrew, if constantly nag an nitpick, if you complain or are overly critical, if you get angry and then have a hard time letting it go, then you WILL drive your man away. Most men won't actually 'get up and walk out', though some will. You have a man who has the mindset that 'I need to stay', for whatever reason.

The big problem is not the sex.

The big problem is to figure out what's caused him to not want it from YOU.

I will tell you this, I never turned down the real thing over a computer screen, washrag and Jergen's.

Whether it's real or not, whether you deserve it or not, in HIS mind, the reason is something YOU have done or said or both. And he's maybe even angry for some reason and the passive-aggressive approach is how he gets back at you - denying you something you obviously want. And maybe he does want to leave but doesn't want to be the 'bad guy' (who does?) so he's hoping you will want it bad enough to screw up and get it elsewhere - making his decision to leave both easy and fully justifiable.

Now you just have to figure out how YOU fucked up.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24537487
United States
10/09/2012 10:27 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
...because he says he's too tired, yet he still "does it" to Internet porn, could he REALLY be too tired?? Or could there be another logical reason? Or is he just cheating? I know, I'm beating a dead horse here (see my prior posts) but I would just like to hear from the guys out there. Could there be a logical excuse??
 Quoting: Kristina


He's cheating!!!! Start snooping and you will find your answer.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23318413
United States
10/09/2012 10:27 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
...


No, we have had sex since I moved in. And I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have turned him down! And by the way, I DON'T EAT THAT MUCH!!!
 Quoting: Kristina



Okay in pounds, how much do you eat? And if you weigh more that 135 pounds at 5'6.... well ......


How many time have you been married, how many kids?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 820520



I'm not telling how much I weigh, that's none of anyone's business. Never married. One son.
 Quoting: Kristina


:bigmus:i see :squashme:
 Quoting: ar-15 nut


LOL ^ winner
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25246117
United States
10/09/2012 10:27 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
aw my goodness, i firmly believe that not having sex at least every second day is grounds for divorce. i can go one day without making love to my man,(if i have to) the next day if i don't get mine, i get very nervous and jumpy, and have trouble sleeping.
 Quoting: eve incognito 25176502


My wife is the same way - and I find it hard to sleep without it anymore. The last 4 years it's been my sleeping pill 4-5 times a week (sometimes more). Oddly though - she gets totally energized while I get entirely sedated. I guess we are now "sex addicts" - but with each other so it's all good here. FYI - we're both pushing 50 and it's never been better - not even in way back in my teens.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12938566
United States
10/09/2012 10:29 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
...because he says he's too tired, yet he still "does it" to Internet porn, could he REALLY be too tired?? Or could there be another logical reason? Or is he just cheating? I know, I'm beating a dead horse here (see my prior posts) but I would just like to hear from the guys out there. Could there be a logical excuse??
 Quoting: Kristina


You should of laid down the law about porn when you first met.Now its too late.You've let internet whores spoil him.
I let my man know from day 1,NO PORN. And he respects that and never looks at it.My man is ALL MINE!
 Quoting: sunshine4mealwayz


Big mistake.. it's his house and she can't afford to live on her own!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12938566
United States
10/09/2012 10:29 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
...because he says he's too tired, yet he still "does it" to Internet porn, could he REALLY be too tired?? Or could there be another logical reason? Or is he just cheating? I know, I'm beating a dead horse here (see my prior posts) but I would just like to hear from the guys out there. Could there be a logical excuse??
 Quoting: Kristina


You should of laid down the law about porn when you first met.Now its too late.You've let internet whores spoil him.
I let my man know from day 1,NO PORN. And he respects that and never looks at it.My man is ALL MINE!
 Quoting: sunshine4mealwayz


Not to mention what you don't know what hurt you! :)
IvantZtrooth

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10/09/2012 10:32 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
cheating on you? no, but the way you always go straight to the negative, i wouldnt be surprised if he left you
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1247165
United States
10/09/2012 10:36 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
...because he says he's too tired, yet he still "does it" to Internet porn, could he REALLY be too tired?? Or could there be another logical reason? Or is he just cheating? I know, I'm beating a dead horse here (see my prior posts) but I would just like to hear from the guys out there. Could there be a logical excuse??
 Quoting: Kristina


ill give you what you need
phoenixe

User ID: 25198728
Germany
10/09/2012 10:39 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
may I just throw in some other ideas "why not" ?

- STD
- too much wanking and therefore either really to tired or just too used to his hand
- he is getting old. at 52, not all can perform as they did some years ago any more when they are with a woman.
- midlife crisis, thinking that most part of his life is over and all those thoughts that come with that and can be depressing
- propecia or other drugs to prevent hair loss
- prescription drugs for epileptics or depression
the last two points have less interest/ability in making love ..maybe that´s why he is only able to wank off to porn

from personal experience:
- one was falling in love with another woman and therefore had no more interest in me
- one was sexually abused as child by his own mother and had issues with normal intercourse, only could get off when wanking to real harcore pron;
- one was really physically hard working in different shifts every week on a chemical plant and therefore just really too tired - and it did not become better when i asked him for more as it stressed him out even more
- some others had so many things going on in their lifes (which they didn´t chat about as girls normally do, as they are men)that they just lost interest for some time. when they had solved their problems on their own, as men do, everything was back to normal again.

none of them was cheating, I know that for sure.
(the ones cheating never lost their sexual appetite,btw)

i could go on and on why a man can´t or doesn´t want to proof he is a man.

just don´t forget he is a human being with feelings and issues and so on, too. not just a piece of meat.
let go for a while, concentrade on other things.

and may i ask, did anything else change? do you still kiss as you used to, hold hands, say nice words?
if not, why? start it again, see how he reacts.

when it does not go back to normal on its own and everything else is ok, talk to him. but in a friendly way.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25230548
United States
10/09/2012 10:40 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
You need to suck his balls.
MuzzleBreak

User ID: 507108
United States
10/09/2012 10:43 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Sometimes the desire and the energy fade away. Hopefully not until you're sixty or more.
He needs to lay off porn, start doing some aerobic interval training and weight lifting to get in better shape, less fatigue.
In his book, "Between Two Ages," Brzezinski wrote: "The technetronic era involves the gradual appearance of a more controlled society. Such a society would be dominated by an elite, unrestrained by traditional values."

MuzzleBreak
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5314341
United States
10/09/2012 10:47 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
Just be honest. Tell him you're concerned about how often he's been too tired to do it and then ask him if there's anything that's stressing him out that he'd like to talk about or anything you could do to get re-connecting.

Honestly it could be a million totally innocent things. He could be experiencing insecurity about himself right now.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5314341
United States
10/09/2012 10:48 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
There is 0 need to manipulate or lie to your partner in this situation so I wouldn't try any of those methods that involve either. Could make something fixable spiral out of control into something not so fixable.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7041808
United States
10/09/2012 10:51 PM
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Re: If a man keeps turning down sex...
what about cookign him dinner and waiting on him on hand and knee?


or maybe he's impotent and can only get off on internet porn.

why buy milk when you have a cow at home unless his junk dont work on you. which is his fault for being fixated on porn, now that's the only thing that can turn him on.

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