How can I stay positive ?

Awe I send you a big hug that's really rough...

Ultimately the good is more worth it than the bad...

But ur in a shitty situation, just know how strong and good u are in spite of the shit.

U will always appeciate the good more than others, u will b less of a douchebag because you've lived realistically, not in a fantasy.

Stay strong gurl and know there are forces (non religious) which feel for you and love you, including this random stranger :)

Just keep on keepin on gurl and do what u can to make things better, even just in small ways, small things can make a big difference sometimes :D

You are the master of your own universe OP. Sometimes you just have to cut people out of your life to make it better. No reason to feel quilty about it either. Change is up to you. Good luck young one. Life is a hard row. Make the best of it. You only have one shot.