Beginning about a year ago I started becoming aware that I was being attacked by others who somehow or another were able to get inside my brain. At times I would think things that were totally uncharacteristic of me. I was offended by the thoughts entering my own mind! For reasons I will not get into I began to believe that these thoughts were being 'planted' in my brain via subliminal neurolinguistical programming and other mechanisms, dream inceptions, and what I can only describe as brute force attacks on my psychospiritual well being.
Now I made some horrible choices growing up and by the grace of God through our Lord Jesus Christ I was set free from some pretty horrible bondage and healed in a very powerful way. I walked with the Lord for some time and then found myself slipping back into old habits. As the scripture reads-I was attacked by 7 spirits worse than the first with lust and paranoia stemming from drugs & conspiracy research.
Around the middle of this past summer the Lord really set me free in a powerful way AGAIN! This goes to show that He is slow to anger, rich in kindness, loving, forgiving, faithful, and true, but I also experienced some pretty stern chastisement and disciplined which I am encouraged by because it means He loves me and has not turned away from me.
I think I am being attacked by spiritual entities. I have various symptoms ranging from thought patterns uncharacteristic of me, bizarre delusions, and psychosomatic symptoms such as feeling these non materials entities either hit me, or enter my body, or something. Oftentimes a loud sound will resonate within me and shake whatever it is out of me. This is merely a brief explanation of my experiences of the past year, as most of the things I have experienced are so far out there few would believe, and I'm not even sure what is true as I try to make sense of my life experiences in light of the strange occurrences which have played out over the past few years-this year in particular.
I used to be a social person able to go out and have a good time but this sudden change in me has caused me severe anxiety wherever I go.
I need to say that I do find much solace and relief from these symptoms when I pray and read the bible in isolation, but when I go to Church to worship I find myself experiencing terrible anxiety as I struggle with the terribly offensive, blasphemous, and oftentimes disgusting thoughts in my mind.
I need help, and I don't know what to do. I know I am not the only one who has experienced these things but I am not able to explain them entirely, but I have woken up to many disturbing realities recently. I continue to put my faith and hope in the Love of God-in Christ Jesus, but even when I pray I come under attack.
I have cut out most all sin in my life including drugs, pornography and masturbation, but I still struggle with letting go of cigarettes. The stress and anxiety from the experiences I have been through have caused me a sort of PTSD, but I believe I deserve worse for some of the things I've done in the past.
I am attacked in my dreams with people trying to put thoughts in my head-I've caught them-and while I am awake. They do things like associative programming which I have mentioned but one disturbing thing I find these abusers able to do is cause physical sensations in my body like tingling on my body (especially in my genital areas) and I feel extremely violated. It is like whoever is doing this to me has direct access to my brain and is able to stimulate certain parts of my brain to trigger these thoughts and sensations.
I have attempted in earnest to understand what is happening to me, and how it is happening (e.g. how it is physically possible), and have narrowed down to the possibility that this is either purely spiritual, purely technological, or a combination of both. I am convinced it is the latter. Am I 'chipped'? If so where is the chip (micro circuit/stimoceiver) and how do I remove it? Is this nano-particles? Dentistry? Are these particles in our water (sodium fluoride can be used to 'non-invasive remotely monitor glucose gradients in the body for example), food, air (chemtrails), etc? I am a seeker of truth and spend a lot of time trying to understand this so I can end my plight. Is this possible by electromagnetic waves alone? Cell phones, computers, televisions, radio towers, cell phone towers, satellite, HAARP, etc?
I am interested in answers, but more importantly I am interested in determining what I must do in order for this abuse to stop. It is like spiritual warfare, and I try to be equipped with the full Armor of God, yet this seems insufficient. I sometimes am so frustrated by my inability to stop these attacks that I want to lash out in anger, but as the Bible teaches us our anger can not make us pleasing to God. I want to learn how to protect myself, and maybe even be more proactive in warding off these attacks. Anyone with answers feel free to send me an e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org.
I don't expect this thread to receive much attention and wouldn't be surprised if I am banned again after posting it. I also wouldn't be surprised if it simply disappears. I hope someone can give me answers. Are we living in the tribulation?