In motivating people, criticism is the WORST WAY to affect change. The best way is reward. Instead of "getting back at her" for smoking and actually not helping you by her habits, instead say, "Your breath is so sweet now. I love kissing you the times when you haven't smoked yet. Mmmmm this is great." or "I feel so attracted to the smell of your perfume. You make me feel excited when I can smell that and I become so aware of your femininity."

These ways are far more effective. Since most women have low self-worth, then when you criticize them for a negative behavior, it can actually make them do the behavior more. (Sound similar to some comments directed towards me above?) When people perceive a criticism, it creates recidivism (resistence to change and return to old habits).

When you were in grade school, middle school, and high school, your teachers used "multiple modalities" to both educate you and motivate you. Research that. A "player" will deliberately use this idea to date more successfully. A lawyer will too to persuade the judge and jury. So will a salesman to increase his sales and paycheck. So will a pastor to win souls.

Dont be afraid thanks for your kind advice: Don't worry, I am not too hard on her and will do what you say as I know she is immensly proud of me for stopping. I will encourage her even more now so that those cigs in the drawer are gone for ever.

peace and love