I QUIT SMOKING , YOU CAN TOO. I QUIT SEPT 27, 2012, SUPPORT EACH OTHER HERE

OneLove - Good to hear from you.

I was thinking of you this morning and was going to issue a check-in request from you. You sound, as always, wonderful. I so admire and respect the way you take care of yourself. Day 24! What a gift. Happy for you, OneLove

And Bollywood is da bomb! If you're so inclined, one of my favorite films is "Moonson Wedding." It's just a lovely story and the music/score (I have a feeling you have a love of music) has always spoken to me. It has a sprinkling of traditional Punjabi music, but most is original composition related to the film. Both film and music work wonderfully together and simply celebrate life, love, and the wonder of ever-present hope on the horizen.

In any event, so happy for you, OneLove

remember, Warrior, that pain is weakness leaving the body

DF - Sorry to hear about the pain. I know you've got the stuff to ride it out, but it still sucks and I wish you didn't have to suffer through it. Peace and comfort to you.

Morning everyone! I The sun is out finally after weeks of unrelenting fog and dirty air. Mayhap I won't have my lung issues today, wouldn't that be something, that it's just smog causing my issues? I'll report after my morning dog walk in the wood. I'd better hurry, they are staring at me....

I really like the chicken as well, it really sums up the general feeling for us ex smokers....I.m seriously considering replacing my little boy nuke test screen saver with it...lol

Feeling pretty good today and it seems I may finally be equalizing on the emotional front. I can tell I must be somewhat better because I woke up REALLY craving a smoke, which has not been the case for the last week.

Still severely cutting back on the weed consumption and down to about three-five puffs, before it was, wake up, smoke dope, take a shower, smoke dope, go to work, smoke dope before even starting, smoke dope after every completion of a phase, eat lunch, smoke dope, work more, smoke more, go home smoke dope, eat dinner, smoke dope.......You get the idea, as bad if not worse than smoking the damnable tobacco but at least there are no withdrawals, only the thought that I need to smoke dope.

I ramble, therfore, I am...lol

How is DF doing this morning? I see you haven't checked in yet so you must be having some restfull and pain free sleep at least we all hope so...

FAIL. 3 Weeks.. .today. until today. i was free of all that stuff. then i smoked a lot (5-7) of cigarettes..
this morning i had a meeting with my boss, his business-partner and some other people in a very strange construct of company.

for explanation:
the company is run by "my" company & another one. all the workers are led by these to companies together.
but 4 months ago, they decided to put the whole production of "my" company (including my human resource) in this construct run by them together, without applying any contracts. without doing any written concept until today. so we had this meeting. where the two businesspartners while opening the meeting were actually failing themselfs in their own word. they actually do not have any clue about what is going on in place.. (and yes.. they both are financed with tax money). even if they couldn't finish their own opening words without falling each other in the word we had 2 hours of talking about responsibility that we do not take in the eyes of just one person on the table.
everybody else had the same opinion, felt the same way, was there to work together for a good solution but one (my boss).
i am a open person, i am a strong person, i tell things some people can't handle when it comes to their own field. but this time.. it was different. i never saw so much ignorance. i think nobody of us. and i never witnessed so much incompetence... still i said what must be said. everybody was rolling eyes because of that one person.... but not even her businesspartner said anything. WTF? do i, as small working bee (fucked and ensalved from the system) really have to tell the truth all the time until i loose my job... my existence? i have no woman anymore but a 2 and a half year old son that i bring up too myself. i work, do not take any welfare money. but still have to DO the job of my boss who then takes all the MONEY and does nothing but blame her incompetence on other people?

NO... i don't.

but then.. you now.. when my ex-girlfriend was pregnant i witnessed some scary stuff that went for the life of my unborn son and for the existence of her & i. i never want that again. never. i sweared to myself to not be part of that AGAINST-EACH-OTHER and to stay TRUE to myslef, to love, to the cause and not the effect. but these to hours i was pushed, emotionally, in exact that direction of feelings. again, very scary. the problems we face.... i'd say they could clear them in half a day on the strategic board of that company if they had any real intention to do so. again. nothing happens. even if i told them that their acting was negligently in doing that project without any written paper (just visions, visions and ideas), after the meeting that one special person said that there will be no written protocol of the meeting. i am still stunned. luckly i made my own notices.
so i went out to get a smoke.
shit.

hope i can handle that stuff. to smoke or not to smoke is the smallest problem i have to solve now. if not, i might be on welfare very soon when i loose my job. but tomorrow, i make a new effort. i do not smoke. i now it.

so what to do?
be untrue to myself? - no.
saying the truth, the naked one? - yes.
help my son to grow up in a open-minded, open-hearted way and show him what that means by acting unconditionally open-minded and open-hearted? - yes.
Ensalve myself? - no.
is maybe self amputation the solution? - no.

so. what to do? i am just one step away from telling one more time the naked truth so that i can ensure that everybody understands it. but then.. i'm gone.

well.... time will tell


please excuse for all the writting errors.. i'm sure there are plenty. i'm still shocked.


one love.

well, smoking 7 cigarettes is not a big deal. just stop again, go thru the strong cravings one more time, and be done with it. in the grand scheme of things, its not a big deal considering you probably smoke double that daily for a really long time.

Hello Swiss 557 - First, your command of written English is impressive. You conveyed your thoughts very clearly (don't even consider spelling or grammar issues; everything you wrote came through). Admirable.

Sounds like a really tough spot and I found myself getting frustrated just reading about your meeting and situation. I hated sitting in similar meetings. Just a waste of time and words. The sound and the fury. It must be maddening. And it seems like your boss is an idiot which only adds to a sense of frustration and questions of the fairness of it all. I'm sorry.

That said, it sure sounds like your child is fortunate to have such a good father. It's clear that he's your priority and the things you want to impart to him are the real things of life. What a huge success you are in that.

The great irony in my life is no one can harm me more than I can harm myself (and it follows that no one can be harder on me than me.). If a stranger treated me like I am wont to treat myself from time to time, I'd be obligated to fuck them up in a big way. The same goes with justified resentment and anger toward another for me. Ultimately, I turn it against myself ("I'll show them...and then I do something to hurt myself). Still learning.

I can understand the "fuck it" and going out to smoke. I can relate to making the choice between having a smoke or banging my head against a wall (or the head of the person behind the insanity). Makes sense to me. That said, I find freedom when I understand the limits of my control over how fucked-up things can be from time to time. Freedom when I find the acceptance in focusing on the things I have control over (and, it seems to me, you zeroed-in on a big one with the way you love and honor your son). It's not easy and I won't give you any platitudinous bullshit. Some days it simply bites ass.

As Salt wrote, no harm, no foul. Six or seven smokes as opposed to what you would have been smoking keeps you far ahead of the game. And three weeks clean today? That's fucking huge and something to be proud of. Don't beat yourself up (switch the hammer for a feather). You've been smoke-free and you'll be smoke-free again. You didn't lose those three weeks. Those weeks are yours. On the books. Start again and don't let some sadly misinformed boss live rent free in your head (aren't you happy you don't have to shack-up with her - yikes?).

Please keep coming back, Swiss. Keep us posted. You don't have to do this alone and you'll find a fine group of people here to cheer you on to continued freedom from the smokes.

Best to you.

As always Mac your wordsmithing is spot on!

How are you doing today DF???

REPORT!, if you are able that is ;)

I was just going to write you, CHL. I'm so happy the sun is shining over you today, brother. That you're ok for today and feeling better. We take it as it comes. Win, lose, or draw.

In any event, it made me feel good knowing you were feeling better.

Doc tomorrow, right?

Best.

Thank you for your words. I really appreciate it.

Thanks Mac! I am feeling way more even these last few days and the lung thing aint acting up that much especially since the smog/ fog has finally rolled out. Makes me think that it's actually airborne contaminants that are causing this and nothing else.

Yes doctor tomorrow, actually psysicians assistant appointment as all doctors are booked solid till the first. I am actually quite nervous about the appt although I suppose I should be relieved but it is what it is.

You keeping it even over there?
I hope so brother, and agian thanks for the kind words, they REALLY mean alot.

I've been reviewing some recorded footage of my former band this afternoon and looking at my 32 year old self.
I wish I could tell that IDIOT to quit fucking smoking and learn how to play guitar! lol

I am making a tape for for the former bass player and his family as he passed away a few years ago and his wife and four kids have no actual live footage of him, only pictures and I know they want to have something of their father to hold onto..

Believe me I am having a tough time keeping at bay as he was another of my very closest friends to pass into the clearing at the end of the path.

Sometime I feel like I have lost so many loved ones these last twenty years, that the reason I am still here is to see, suffer and LIVE TO HELP OTHERS!

Has this thread turned into a confessional or what??

Dear Swiss

Life is so darn difficult. There really is wisdom in that saying "God grant me the serenity to whatever... change the things..." I'm going senile. I can't remember it exactly. But the "wisdom to know the difference" is the key thing.

If the idiot boss doesn't want papers and is clearly an idiot. Let her be an idiot. Do not invest any more emotional or loyalty stuff to this company. Just go in, do a job, come home. Easier said than done I know but you have to put up a wall. Change the way you think about the job so that it does not frig you up emotionally anymore. It must be done.

This is a horrible world. It seems to give people so few options. But it is also a wonderful world, where you have a son who has a father to be proud of and you know clearly what matters in this life.

If I were there I'd go beat up your boss for you. Or at least send Mac or CHL or Dessert Fox or Danger. :) Although I think they're probably too polite... lol

I understand so well how you're feeling. If you can say to yourself "what's the worse that can happen" and then realize that it isn't the worst. Think of the things that people have survived. You will survive this one. I guarantee it. And you will thrive. Because you are strong.

Find a quiet phrase to say to yourself when the boss does things like this. Maybe "Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care" or "I am calm and competent and have no need to go postal on this freakin' idiot in front of me..."

You can quit smoking. You can do it. You get back on the horse. The horrible boss will still be there whether you smoke or don't smoke.

My horrible advice. Stay strong. Be gentle with yourself.
:)

Hello everyone. Thank you for the kind words and Bollywood suggestions.

I don't have much energy to share (fatigue) AND wanted to reach out to Swiss557.

The reason I believe I am able to quit this time IS because of all the times I failed to quit. Little did I know that each "failure" was a valuable lesson...

Each time I quit and then smoked again - I learned something new - about myself, how I react to life, how I deal with stress, how I feel about myself, how I let others treat me (boundary issues) what it means to love myself and much more.

All these experiences - and the many times I quit and seemed to fail - were ESSENTIAL to my succeeding one day at a time - today.

If I may give some advice: Put this experience in your heart, look at what you need to do, and when you are ready - try again, and again, and again, until you finally let the cigs go.

oneLOVE!

Lastly - guilt perpetuates shame, shame perpetuates addictive behaviour. Only LOVE can heal. Pure LOVE.


oneLOVEsoulJAH

CHL... that's precious to have memories of having played in a band! How cool were you!!! :)

Tomorrow I have great faith that the doctors are going to send you home with an allergy pill.

I'm sorry at the loss of your friend. Life has got to have some kind of meaning, the suffering we go through sometimes...

DF... breathe.

Love you all

Hang in ther Souljah, one second, minute, hour, and day at a time. I fully understand the fatigue and the way I deal with it is to just get the fuck up and get fucking moving because the longer I sit here the worse I am gonna feel.

Fake it till you make is my motto and Soul, you aint faking nothing, you got this, I know you do!
Best wishes and it'll get way better, trust me, I know

Thanks G! I certainly thought I was cool, except for the damnable smoking... Again I say, too bad I can't tell my 32 yo self to just quit, what a dipshit I was/ am (because some things never change especially being a dipshit)

Findings from the New England Journal of Medicine published yesterday:

"People who kick the habit by the age of 40 reduce
their risk of smoking-related death by 90 per cent,
giving them a near-normal life expectancy. People
who stop smoking at 45 to 54 years old gained about six
years of life, compared with those who continued smoking,
while those who quit at 55 to 64 gained about four years
of life.... '

This thread ought to keep us on track...

Thread: Smokers Screwed Again......

Scary. I don't agree with it.

Ok, I think I am out of the woods now, had no pain meds today and head clearing up. It has been a hell of a ride. I see people are still on track and for one that succumbed has been reassured of our commitment to them. Thanks guys for all the love sent my way. DF

*

Hey Desert Fox, since your section of ureter got abraded inside, go easy on taxing it. I hope you're drinking filtered water, because some city water is very hard(high in mineral content like calcium). A little bit of cranberry to acidify your urine will help cut down on a potential urinary tract infection post-surgery. NOT FULL STRENGTH. Dilute it. I hope the stone didn't tear any tissue in the kidney or bladder.

Pay real close attention to fever or burning and call your doc. Septra is really wonderful if you get a UTI and will knock it out FAST.

Last Edited by Don'tBeAfraid on 01/25/2013 12:17 AM

Well, congratulations friend. It is never to late to quit and it is never easy to quit. You are going to have to drag up every ounce of will power you have to beat the demon of nicotine. It can be done and many on this thread have done it, and will be on here to share with you what works and what don't work. Please scan the thread for valuable tips and reading material to help you be successful in you endeavor. There is a great support group here with much to add to help you. Good luck, and please come to this thread daily, at least for a while, and let us be a part of your battle. DF

Thanks, I am on Cipro, and drinking lots of water. The bad part is that I have to go thru this a few more times over the next few weeks. Hate the thought. DF

Good luck and God bless to all of you! I wish my dad had a support group he could have gone to with help to quit smoking. He finally quit a 50 yr smoking habit 3 weeks ago. He has always been very healthy for his age, 74, and had no major health problems. Then 3 weeks ago his legs swelled up and he was having trouble breathing. A trip to the ER and a few X-rays and tests later we found out he has extremely advanced lung cancer. There's a big tumor eating away his left lung, drowning his heart, and stealing his resources. He's lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks. He can't live without continuos oxygen. He is now starting to have pain. We've brought him home to die. His parents lived well into their eighties, but they didn't smoke. I wish I had ten more years with him, and my kids do too. God bless you in your efforts, but don't be too hard on yourselves. I only hope maybe my dad's story might help a little.

Good luck and God bless to all of you! I wish my dad had a support group he could have gone to with help to quit smoking. He finally quit a 50 yr smoking habit 3 weeks ago. He has always been very healthy for his age, 74, and had no major health problems. Then 3 weeks ago his legs swelled up and he was having trouble breathing. A trip to the ER and a few X-rays and tests later we found out he has extremely advanced lung cancer. There's a big tumor eating away his left lung, drowning his heart, and stealing his resources. He's lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks. He can't live without continuos oxygen. He is now starting to have pain. We've brought him home to die. His parents lived well into their eighties, but they didn't smoke. I wish I had ten more years with him, and my kids do too. God bless you in your efforts, but don't be too hard on yourselves. I only hope maybe my dad's story might help a little.