Afternoon, Friends -

Restless and irritable today. Feel like a bit of my guts have been scooped-out and I'm left with a cold hollow chill inside. An emptiness filled with niggling flutters of anxiety. At times, almost a feeling of free-floating fear.

I don't like it. Don't want to sit with it.

Don't want to attempt to fill it with a smoke. With a lie and quick-fix that, ultimately, won't deliver. Fuck that.

So....I'll move a muscle to change the thoughts. Do some work. Ride it out.

It's a fleeting cold chill of anxiety. But it's forming a patch. To help the fear skate across my perception. Across my day.

So I'll make I blanket as I may and move along with the day. But I don't like it.

When I get anxious or fearful, I get angry. I know anger. Can work with that. But when all is said and done, fear always drives my anger. Fear is the well-oiled engine powering the anger train across rickety tracks to nowhere but despair. Last stop resturants and thick muddy coffee.

Did I mention I don't like it?

Bob and weave. Shadow boxing's easy. Being still is sometimes hard. And lonely. Like a rock, or a stick. An empty vodka bottle. Lonely things.

Can't sit still today. Not there yet. So I'll move. Get my mojo workin.'

Best to all.