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I Met A Toad In The Rain Today

 
Illogician
User ID: 15915405
United States
10/13/2012 03:36 PM
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I Met A Toad In The Rain Today
I was smoking a cigarette on my porch in the rain this morning. I still don't know if it was just quicksilver on the brain or water from the sky, but the distinction between ex- and in- ternal has evaporated within or without me, so it really doesn't matter or it does, I don't know. It was raining.

After 3 Newports, and 1/3 of another, my eye perceived some movement in the dirt. I like dirt and motion, so I decided to use my detective skills to investigate this anomaly in the front yard.

A very dirty toad was traversing the earth. I went to him, he spoke. He began mumbling, very unsure of himself, but then I heard some music, and he began to sing to me:

"Bend down low, and let me tell you what I know, Ohhhh, Bend down low, let me tell you what I know now"

Any Toad that has good reggae chops, is one to converse with, at least that is what I've been told, as I really don't know a damn thing about Reggae Toads, but I bent down low, and listened, which is something I haven't done much of in the past.

I rolled up a spliff, and the Toad told me what he knew. She told me he was a hooker and a nun. He told me she was both an interpreter and the messenger.

I then realized I had been fucking myself for so long, it was about time I made an honest woman out of me, so I decided to marry my feminine side, and though we still fight, she is helping me understand that there is no distinction between the logical and illogical. The Toad left, but I've never been so low and high at the same time. But then I realized I was standing on my head, so the earth was up and the heavens down. I am not sure what "up" or "down" mean.

Can anyone tell me the difference?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25487862
Ireland
10/13/2012 03:37 PM
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Re: I Met A Toad In The Rain Today
How are the toads these days?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25487862
Ireland
10/13/2012 03:37 PM
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Re: I Met A Toad In The Rain Today
I met one in my youth or was it a frog?
Illogician (OP)
User ID: 15915405
United States
10/13/2012 03:53 PM
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Re: I Met A Toad In The Rain Today
I did ask if I could lick herhim, as I've heard that some Toads produce phantasms and wonders, but Mrs.Mr. Toad was not in the mood to be tasted. I tasted some of the dirt Toad was perched on, but It felt way too cannibalistic and when I began to chew the ground, for some reason I could feel something gnawing on my sinister arm.

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