I wish to join the David Wilcock fanboys

I am a huge fan of Edg- err, David. I really think he's a positive spiritual influence in the world and every awakened person out there should check him out.

-I'm such a fan, I'm able to be proud of him for escaping his past as a gay-for-pay male escort in San Francisco. That must've been a hard, extremely service-to-self oriented life.

-I'm such a fan, I have stood with him as he faced such great adversity in the form of Edgar Cayce's estate distancing themselves from their reincarnated forebear and even going so far as to call him a fraud.

-I'm such a fan, I'm willing to spend thousands of dollars to follow him on 'tour' and sit through hours of his 'music.' I've also spent many month's paychecks on his books, albums, essays, documentaries and other information products that he is spreading for the good of all humanity. I don't believe the haters who claim that charging for spiritually important information is a sham.

-I'm such a fan, I'm willing to trust that David has a good reason for scheduling his conferences into 2013, as well as publishing a new book in 2013, despite everything he's written about how December 21st will change the world forever and we'll all probably Ascend.

-I'm such a fan, I realize that, in retrospect, his Ascension 2000 site was pretty much dead on, and the Ascension did happen in 2000 as he predicted...it was just on another timeline that the Illuminati split us off from. His new predictions of a 2012 ascension will be right, though!

-I'm such a fan, I admire David for not being afraid to express typically feminine emotions, such as when he cried and snotted all over himself on a radio show after having received death threats from the Illuminati.

-I'm such a fan, I also admire David for capitalizing on the untimely deaths of his personal friends in real life by claiming they were orchestrated by the Illuminati to serve as a warning to him. While many people would see this as a cheap, disrespectful move to lend a false sense of credibility to his stories, I see it as David being brave and calling out the shadow government on their evil.

-I'm such a fan, I also intently follow his colleagues like Ben Fulford, Neil Keenan, and Drake, all of whom have a near-perfect track record (like David) when it comes to predictions coming to fruition.

-I'm such a fan, I'm able to forgive him for causing the splitting up of Project Camelot after his on-again-off-again girlfriend Kerry Cassidy found him in bed with Bill Ryan.

-I'm such a fan, I truly believe him when he says that channeled information is generally false, even though his entire world view and writings are based on channeled information.

-I'm such a fan, I believe David when he says he's also the human incarnation of Ra, the famous channeled alien spirit he so admires - on top of already being the incarnation of Edgar Cayce. With credentials like this, it's impossible to believe that David is just an attention-seeker or a con man, because, after all, Ra was a positively-oriented soul group that would never lie for personal gain.

As you can see, I'm quite a fan of David. I truly believe in the divinity of his work here on Earth. Now that I've proven myself as being in David's corner beyond a shadow of a doubt, I'd like to be admitted to his elusive GLP Fan Club.

Is there a secret handshake or something I should know? Do we meet under the local bridge, by the rusted-out 1940s pick-up truck, at midnight every second Tuesday of the month?