hospice killed my mom

My wife and her sister had a big argument over hospice care. Her sister signed the contract they use and then refused to take care of her dying father. Instead she tried to force my wife who had control of the finances to pay for 24 hour care and she refused. End of story, end of relationship. Just go with hospice if you want the family to disintegrate. Hospice is evil.

We've been trolled. Only one post from OP. how pathetic to troll on this topic. Get a life OP.

my mom was just killed by hospice staff. forced to dehyrdate to death and then over medicated to control the pain casused by the lack of fluid. it was horrific. I never knew what hospice was until this, and they are murderers. my mom was a frail, vulnerable dementia patient murdered legally.

It is all about playing God. Many of you who support hospice think you have a right to decide about suffering and end of life. The suffering may be necessary for the next life. A lot of people do not agree with you:

Web Search: hospice kills with morphine
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Ten years ago, my family made a lot of bad decisions about giving my Dad chemo/radiation and then they made the decision for hospice to come in. My Dad said he did not want the morphine but they told us, "I don't think you understand why we are here". It is interesting that they made my mother give him the drops towards the end. Did my mother actually kill him? There was also a lady at our church who had cancer of the esophagus. She was alert and still had a quality of life. The people at the church put her in hospice and she was dead the next day. My daughter works in a hospital and she says they send some people to hospice and they joke around about a really harsh nurse who works there whom they call "angel of death". She has them dead within hours. People that live in this world are sick, sick, sick. No one has a right to decide when someone is born or when they die. That is for God.

I'm sorry.
Hospice is end of life care. Don't put loved ones into it if you don't want it to be the end.

That's easy for you to say when you're not suffering through the pain. How about for those who have suffered 10+ years "living" with cancer to the point where they just don't have it in them to fight anymore? It is their choice, not yours. And when they make their choice, how do you know God is not guiding them? My aunt fought cancer to the point it pretty much overtook her whole body. She chose to go to the hospice. A few months later, her husband did the same. They went there of their own free will, and the nurses/all the people who worked there, were angels. It takes a special human being to place themselves in an environment with such grief and sorrow and offer comfort to those who need it most.

That's easy for you to say when you're not suffering through the pain. How about for those who have suffered 10+ years "living" with cancer to the point where they just don't have it in them to fight anymore? It is their choice, not yours. And when they make their choice, how do you know God is not guiding them? My aunt fought cancer to the point it pretty much overtook her whole body. She chose to go to the hospice. A few months later, her husband did the same. They went there of their own free will, and the nurses/all the people who worked there, were angels. It takes a special human being to place themselves in an environment with such grief and sorrow and offer comfort to those who need it most.

My husband was dying of cancer....had it everywhere in all of his systems...one night the pain was so intense that his pain meds weren't helping at all. I called his oncologist, hysterical. He told me to up his dose, (I can't remember how much, but it was shocking compared to what he had been taking). I asked him if I'd heard him correctly and he confirmed the dose for me immediately. I did as he told me and my husband's pain receded greatly.

Later that night, he went into a half coma and by midday the next day he had passed.

The doc - in his wisdom, was helping my husband to pass peaceably. He had told me that it was going to be any day now. I was in terrible denial and wouldn't hear of any talk like that at the time. I would get almost violent whenver the doc would start talking about preparing for his death, etc.

At the time, if I had known what the doc was doing, I would have fought hysterically against it. Looking back years later, I am so grateful for the doctor's compassion. My husband was in excruciating pain - there was absolutely no saving him. My desire to extend his life by a couple of days was a selfish one.

I'm not saying that you are selfish, OP. NOT AT ALL!!!! But maybe, there is something to relate to in my story that might help you to put your own story in a different perspective.

Sometimes, it just takes some passing of time before we are able to see the death of a loved one more clearly.....

Morphine shuts down your systems. A hospital in town here makes sure to give most patients it when they enter ER. Morphine can throw you into full cardiac arrest. My mother has been forced into Hospice by my brother who ignored her written wishes & put her in it. She is not even end stage cancer. Hospice has denied her food, fluids, antibiotics for her pneumonia, diabetes monitoring & meds, etc. At this point if she dies, it wont be from the cancer but from being deprived from essentials for life. Im trying to rescue her but no one seems to care. Not the police, the adult protection services, etc.

They kill you slowly with dehydration and drug overdose. If they want to kill people it should be done with one shot not spread out over days. They are legal killers as long as family allows it. I watched them (actually pallative care),slowly over three days kill my father. I couln't stop it because my step mother was in charge. I will forever be scarred from what I witnessed and couldn't stop in time. Thirsting to death is a horrible way to die.

You have to raise hell to the hospital administration. I finally got them to put my father back on fluids only too late. You also have to have someone you trust to be there at all times to monitor what medicine is being given. Tell them you don't want her having any pain med unless she verbally says she wants it. Tell them you want to be able to communicate and have that right. It only takes about three days to kill them. I would put a little water in my dad's mouth and he would then try to talk but the pain med still made it where I couldn't understand him. The morphine and dehydration is what will kill them. You have to act fast to make a difference. By the time I understood what was going on it was too late. The hospital became very accomadating when they knew i had done my homework and refuted their arguments for the morphine and lack of care. They were afraid of being sued. Good luck. I know it is
painful. I hope you have better luck than I did.

You have to raise hell to the hospital administration. I finally got them to put my father back on fluids only too late. You also have to have someone you trust to be there at all times to monitor what medicine is being given. Tell them you don't want her having any pain med unless she verbally says she wants it. Tell them you want to be able to communicate and have that right. It only takes about three days to kill them. I would put a little water in my dad's mouth and he would then try to talk but the pain med still made it where I couldn't understand him. The morphine and dehydration is what will kill them. You have to act fast to make a difference. By the time I understood what was going on it was too late. The hospital became very accomadating when they knew i had done my homework and refuted their arguments for the morphine and lack of care. They were afraid of being sued. Good luck. I know it is
painful. I hope you have better luck than I did.

Are your hospice facilities part of your hospitals & not a seperate run building with its own rules? Here in Canada, our hospice is totally separate from any hospital. It is usually a large private home (estate sometimes) & frequently in residential neighborhoods.
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I guess I should have explained that my father was killed in pallative care. It's in the hospital. They wanted to send him to hospice but I prevented that. From what I've seen pallative care gets them ready for hospice. They work together with hopital. Hospital gets money for referring them to hospice.

Why didn't you take care of her then.

Often the entire thing can be turned around with better advice and care where the patient would recover, depending.

I'm going to assume here that the laws regarding Hospice is quite different in the US than in Canada.

The goal & philisophy of Hospice is to give the patient dignity & comfort coupled with compassion & kindness. The patient is their primary concern.

I'm sorry.
Hospice is end of life care. Don't put loved ones into it if you don't want it to be the end.

I'm sorry too, but TLUTD is right -- end of life care.

my mom was just killed by hospice staff. forced to dehyrdate to death and then over medicated to control the pain casused by the lack of fluid. it was horrific. I never knew what hospice was until this, and they are murderers. my mom was a frail, vulnerable dementia patient murdered legally.

We've been trolled. Only one post from OP. how pathetic to troll on this topic. Get a life OP.

So if you want to find out what a given hospice will really do, whom do you ask and what question do you ask?

Is there a way to get someone to tell you the truth?

my mom was just killed by hospice staff. forced to dehyrdate to death and then over medicated to control the pain casused by the lack of fluid. it was horrific. I never knew what hospice was until this, and they are murderers. my mom was a frail, vulnerable dementia patient murdered legally.