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So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...

 
pinkshirtguy

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10/25/2012 01:45 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
Comforter? WTF? American boys are soooo romantic...loool

Don't get it. Must be an american thing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1113166


aren't we though?

As a guy, shopping for sentimental gifts are not my strong suit. I backed off the dating scene for years and it looks like this Xmas I'll be shopping for a girl. She's already hinted at things that she wants like gym shorts and what not, but im not getting that... Its gotta be something meaningful... Im with you OP. However, maybe you've been talking about wanting a new one and he thought it'd be perfect. Plus, when it gets cold this winter make a point and reverse the sentiment. If you let him know that you prefer sentiment over material, maybe he'll get the idea. Romantic home made dinner with a fire and cuddle up in the comfortor with him.... Maybe he will get it.
poyl
luckyophelia (OP)

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10/25/2012 01:46 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
you dont "think" hes autistic. holy shit

if i was your boyfriend and saw your ungrateful post and the words i dont "think" hes autistic

i would text you "its over" and thats the lamest way to break up evver, but you would deserve it

oh yea and i fucking hate cards. really you need a piece of paper to feel special? how about special words IN PERSON on more than anniversary occasions? oh thats not enough for you?

i dont like you already
typical american girl

selfish and stupid
 Quoting: Daersoulkeeper


whats wrong with saying "i dont THINK hes autistic" he has traits of aspergers/austism but id say its on the very small side of the spectrum but its possibly just his ADD. and i didnt get any special words...just an i love you which i hear everyday. yes those words are special and mean a lot, but just hearing what he loves about me or something would be nice...
eve incognito
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10/25/2012 01:47 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
and you guys are right. it is practical. a blankets nice and im grateful for it and never said i wasn't. hes treated me great but yes there are problems with his passive aggresiveness that's caused him to lie in order just to avoid confrontation. i should just be grateful and shut up
 Quoting: luckyophelia


No you dont need to be grateful and shut up.You need to consider finding another place to live and if you and he still wants to date then do so without the living arrangements involved.Sounds weird to me.You sleep in desperate areas,etc so its not like a 'living together' relationship.Family doesnt know about you etc.You a room mate with sex privileges.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26283284


well he was a virgin before we met...slept together after about 9 months but he made me promise that we'd be together forever if i took his virginity....it is strange.
 Quoting: luckyophelia


aw run like the wind. he is demented, clearly.sheesh.
Anonymous Coward
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10/25/2012 01:47 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
Ya know OP I would not think twice about the gift...I think it was fine. Hell last year for my birthday I got handed 150.00 dollars. He was like here ya go...no happy birthday nothing...I was upset by that. I would have prefered the comforter you got. I need a new one actually lol I think it's just different guys ways of giving gifts. I would be thankful he even took the time out to look for a gift for you. He could of took the lazy way out and just gave ya the money I don't know I didn't read the whole thread but just my 2 cents...

hf
luckyophelia (OP)

User ID: 18046556
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10/25/2012 01:48 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
its alright though. you officially accomplished your goal in making me feel like a selfish piece of shit bitch who doesn't even deserve a blanket to sleep on in a damn fema camp. thanks. maybe i needed it.
luckyophelia (OP)

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10/25/2012 01:49 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
Ya know OP I would not think twice about the gift...I think it was fine. Hell last year for my birthday I got handed 150.00 dollars. He was like here ya go...no happy birthday nothing...I was upset by that. I would have prefered the comforter you got. I need a new one actually lol I think it's just different guys ways of giving gifts. I would be thankful he even took the time out to look for a gift for you. He could of took the lazy way out and just gave ya the money I don't know I didn't read the whole thread but just my 2 cents...

hf
 Quoting: ~Angels~


thanks, its all good. its more about me feeling uncared for in other aspects of the relationship than it is the fact that he got me a blanket.
Anonymous Coward
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10/25/2012 01:51 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
Ya know OP I would not think twice about the gift...I think it was fine. Hell last year for my birthday I got handed 150.00 dollars. He was like here ya go...no happy birthday nothing...I was upset by that. I would have prefered the comforter you got. I need a new one actually lol I think it's just different guys ways of giving gifts. I would be thankful he even took the time out to look for a gift for you. He could of took the lazy way out and just gave ya the money I don't know I didn't read the whole thread but just my 2 cents...

hf
 Quoting: ~Angels~


thanks, its all good. its more about me feeling uncared for in other aspects of the relationship than it is the fact that he got me a blanket.
 Quoting: luckyophelia


I see...relationships are not easy at all sometimes...they take some work...good luck OP :)

hf
moot

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10/25/2012 01:51 PM

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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
Me and wife got a comforter for a wedding gift and I think it was the best gift of all time.
Wait until you're cold and need comfort.
Anonymous Coward
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10/25/2012 01:52 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
...


i would have rather had a macaroni gift. im not being facetious , it would have MEANT more because it would have been personal and something i would keep forever. im not going to keep this blanket forever...
 Quoting: luckyophelia



well now you're talking. wise cracking aside, is the boy like.. i dunno, a bit.. autistic? (for lack of a better word, this is not the word i am looking for) i mean.. it IS a very practical gift. is he creative? does he wax all poetically when he dotes on about you? i am assuming his dating history consists of you, and his ex, if he was a virgin for 9 months after you met. what i am getting at is like.. he may not be a very thoughtful or romantic person, in which case you can't really expect a thoughtful or romantic gift, and just because movies an shit play up that kinda romance, in all reality, if it comes down to a bad or serious situation, one may be better off with someone who is practical and logical minded.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1595910


I don't think he's autistic. He says he's ADD though. He grew up in a very religious household. He dated a woman in her 40s for about 9 years before meeting me. He doesn't really watch movies either so I do have different ideas on certain things. honestly and truly though, i was just expecting something a little more romantic, or at least the card to say something romantic, i dunno...
 Quoting: luckyophelia



again, autistic is not what i meant.. let me rephrase that.. emotionally retarded. let me rephrase that again.. not in tune with that lovey dovey poetic part of the human psyche. being romantic is like being tall, it's really hard to fake it if you were not born that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1595910


I disagree... and excuse the way I phrase this.

A woman that gets bent over the table and has her hair pulled while getting pounded from behind, dreams of being with somebody more romantic.

A woman showered with wine, flowers and romance dreams of being bent over the table , having her hair pulled while getting pounded from behind.

Women want what women don't have, and don't want what they do have.

hf sideways
Anonymous Coward
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10/25/2012 01:53 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
I don't understand why you are so disappointed. He is a man.

It was a thoughtful gift.
Anonymous Coward
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Czech Republic
10/25/2012 01:53 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
Am I the only guy here that sees a man that hates spending the night in his girlfriends dirty bed....

Clean your sheets more often was the message I guess.
bbristowe

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10/25/2012 01:53 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
Greedy OP.
bbristowe

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10/25/2012 01:54 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
Am I the only guy here that sees a man that hates spending the night in his girlfriends dirty bed....

Clean your sheets more often was the message I guess.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24643310


bump
luckyophelia (OP)

User ID: 18046556
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10/25/2012 01:54 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
...



well now you're talking. wise cracking aside, is the boy like.. i dunno, a bit.. autistic? (for lack of a better word, this is not the word i am looking for) i mean.. it IS a very practical gift. is he creative? does he wax all poetically when he dotes on about you? i am assuming his dating history consists of you, and his ex, if he was a virgin for 9 months after you met. what i am getting at is like.. he may not be a very thoughtful or romantic person, in which case you can't really expect a thoughtful or romantic gift, and just because movies an shit play up that kinda romance, in all reality, if it comes down to a bad or serious situation, one may be better off with someone who is practical and logical minded.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1595910


I don't think he's autistic. He says he's ADD though. He grew up in a very religious household. He dated a woman in her 40s for about 9 years before meeting me. He doesn't really watch movies either so I do have different ideas on certain things. honestly and truly though, i was just expecting something a little more romantic, or at least the card to say something romantic, i dunno...
 Quoting: luckyophelia



again, autistic is not what i meant.. let me rephrase that.. emotionally retarded. let me rephrase that again.. not in tune with that lovey dovey poetic part of the human psyche. being romantic is like being tall, it's really hard to fake it if you were not born that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1595910


I disagree... and excuse the way I phrase this.

A woman that gets bent over the table and has her hair pulled while getting pounded from behind, dreams of being with somebody more romantic.

A woman showered with wine, flowers and romance dreams of being bent over the table , having her hair pulled while getting pounded from behind.

Women want what women don't have, and don't want what they do have.

hf sideways
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26282656


i dont think its about one or the other. there can be a balance between the two...just like there should be a balance in the relationship emotionally
Daersoulkeeper

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10/25/2012 01:56 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
you dont "think" hes autistic. holy shit

if i was your boyfriend and saw your ungrateful post and the words i dont "think" hes autistic

i would text you "its over" and thats the lamest way to break up evver, but you would deserve it

oh yea and i fucking hate cards. really you need a piece of paper to feel special? how about special words IN PERSON on more than anniversary occasions? oh thats not enough for you?

i dont like you already
typical american girl

selfish and stupid
 Quoting: Daersoulkeeper


whats wrong with saying "i dont THINK hes autistic" he has traits of aspergers/austism but id say its on the very small side of the spectrum but its possibly just his ADD. and i didnt get any special words...just an i love you which i hear everyday. yes those words are special and mean a lot, but just hearing what he loves about me or something would be nice...
 Quoting: luckyophelia



now your complaining about hearing i love you everyday? this is the EXACT reason i REFUSE to say i love you often to my girlfriend, i know how your fucking minds work. i only say it when i genuinely mean it and only so often, and i almost NEVER say it back when she says it because it creates a HABIT, which she will find oh so not very special, just like you admitted. and of course you paraphrase it with (yes those words are special blah blah blah) clearly not.


bsflag

OMG goodbye

Last Edited by Daersoulkeeper on 10/25/2012 01:59 PM
the real reason most people on this planet are the most ignorant gullible people that have ever lived is a little thing called the

TELL-LIE-VISION

television

when you watch it, you put the I(you) in television and you get tel(i)evision

tell lie vision
Anonymous Coward
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10/25/2012 01:56 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
I'm not trying to be selfish and I really don't want to come across that way so if this is just irrational thinking then please let me know people

...I just really was expecting something a little more sentimental after a year. I'm glad he thought of the gesture and tha he took the time off his lunch break the day before to go get it for me, and I really love him, i just thought I'd get something a little more personal and intimate.

What do you guys think about this? I'm curious
 Quoting: luckyophelia


Why are women always so concerned with what your significant other buys them as a gift instead of what they do or say on a daily basis? Does he tell you he loves you every day? Does he take care of you when you are sick? Is a comforter really that important of an object to get upset about? These are things to think about before posting on a conspiracy forum.
luckyophelia (OP)

User ID: 18046556
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10/25/2012 01:57 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
i wanna thank glp for helping me process this. i couldn't quite figure out exactly what i was feeling, and all you guys have been helping me with that. i appreciate all of your opinions because they really made me think

hf
Anonymous Coward
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Czech Republic
10/25/2012 01:57 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
i wanna thank glp for helping me process this. i couldn't quite figure out exactly what i was feeling, and all you guys have been helping me with that. i appreciate all of your opinions because they really made me think

hf
 Quoting: luckyophelia


So you're gonna clean your sheets more often than?
luckyophelia (OP)

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10/25/2012 01:58 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...

you dont "think" hes autistic. holy shit

if i was your boyfriend and saw your ungrateful post and the words i dont "think" hes autistic

i would text you "its over" and thats the lamest way to break up evver, but you would deserve it

oh yea and i fucking hate cards. really you need a piece of paper to feel special? how about special words IN PERSON on more than anniversary occasions? oh thats not enough for you?

i dont like you already
typical american girl

selfish and stupid
 Quoting: Daersoulkeeper


whats wrong with saying "i dont THINK hes autistic" he has traits of aspergers/austism but id say its on the very small side of the spectrum but its possibly just his ADD. and i didnt get any special words...just an i love you which i hear everyday. yes those words are special and mean a lot, but just hearing what he loves about me or something would be nice...
[/quote
now your complaining about hearing i love you everyday? OMG goodbye
 Quoting: luckyophelia


you dont know our relationship so quit acting like you do please. someone saying i love you everyday can become redundant and then it feels after a while like its not even true. now pleae quit trolling my post

Last Edited by luckyophelia on 10/25/2012 01:59 PM
Anonymous Coward
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10/25/2012 01:59 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
...


I don't think he's autistic. He says he's ADD though. He grew up in a very religious household. He dated a woman in her 40s for about 9 years before meeting me. He doesn't really watch movies either so I do have different ideas on certain things. honestly and truly though, i was just expecting something a little more romantic, or at least the card to say something romantic, i dunno...
 Quoting: luckyophelia



again, autistic is not what i meant.. let me rephrase that.. emotionally retarded. let me rephrase that again.. not in tune with that lovey dovey poetic part of the human psyche. being romantic is like being tall, it's really hard to fake it if you were not born that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1595910


I disagree... and excuse the way I phrase this.

A woman that gets bent over the table and has her hair pulled while getting pounded from behind, dreams of being with somebody more romantic.

A woman showered with wine, flowers and romance dreams of being bent over the table , having her hair pulled while getting pounded from behind.

Women want what women don't have, and don't want what they do have.

hf sideways
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26282656


i dont think its about one or the other. there can be a balance between the two...just like there should be a balance in the relationship emotionally
 Quoting: luckyophelia


The balance IS men should be men, woman should be women. But this is all confused nowadays.

If a man OR woman has to try, it is fake. Be who you are an accept others for who they are. Plain and simple.
Anonymous Coward
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10/25/2012 01:59 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
I'm not trying to be selfish and I really don't want to come across that way so if this is just irrational thinking then please let me know people

...I just really was expecting something a little more sentimental after a year. I'm glad he thought of the gesture and tha he took the time off his lunch break the day before to go get it for me, and I really love him, i just thought I'd get something a little more personal and intimate.

What do you guys think about this? I'm curious
 Quoting: luckyophelia


OP, I don't know how old you are, but were you secretly hoping for an engagement ring maybe? Something that perhaps shows he's in it for the long haul? After a year, I could see thinking that way...and if so, you probably got your hopes up a bit. hf
 Quoting: Plan B


to an above poster, im definitely not going to say anything. i dont want to hurt his feelings. he got me a blanket and thats my gift and thats the kind of person he is. i dont see how im being selfish as another poster said because i really dont know how to feel about it.


im only 22 and yea jewelry would be nice and that 30 bucks could be spent on a nice little necklace or something. or even some survival prep stuff! just something a little more personal i guess. he says he wants to get married and i think hes a great guy, so maybe i was expecting something a little more
 Quoting: luckyophelia


Next time drop subtle hints while you both are shopping together, watching commercials on TV, etc. Let him know what you like.
Kirk

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10/25/2012 02:00 PM

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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
and no hes not creative however i do paint, play piano, write, etc. He just doesn't seem to have a strong sense of identity and I'm trying to help him with that but i guess i cant really change a person. i think change is the wrong word. i dont want to change a thing about him. i just think he could grow more, and being more assertive is part of that.
 Quoting: luckyophelia


you have problems too, sweet pea. You say he dated a 40 year old? Surrogate mother?
Born that way? - 90 plus percent are born loving but get it beaten out of them or repressed in some way. To change someone you have to understand the mechanics and I don't believe you have an inkling. It doesn't happen because you are nice. Really. You are ignoring the reaction you are having to your own frustrated expectations. Neither of you are grown up sweetie.Most of us are walking wounded. Seek healing and trust me - open communication, no secrets, no unvoiced wishes. Tell who you are. Ask who he is, and pay attention.
Worry is a misuse of the imagination.
Rowsdower
oh, the doomanity!

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10/25/2012 02:00 PM

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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
grumpy2

the only gifts i ever get are socks and underwear.

which is fine i guess cause those are the only things i won't buy from Goodwill lol
Anonymous Coward
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10/25/2012 02:00 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
I've been married many decades and when my hubby asks what do you want, I say "anthing in diamonds would be fine".
Anonymous Coward
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10/25/2012 02:02 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
You're boyfriend should read this post.

I think that will solve everything.
luckyophelia (OP)

User ID: 18046556
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10/25/2012 02:02 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
i wanna thank glp for helping me process this. i couldn't quite figure out exactly what i was feeling, and all you guys have been helping me with that. i appreciate all of your opinions because they really made me think

hf
 Quoting: luckyophelia


So you're gonna clean your sheets more often than?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24643310


lol i didnt see those posts
i do my laundry on a regular basis just like every other person and i dont cheat and i havent slept with anyone else in that bed or old comforter or sheets besides him so the trolls can back off

Last Edited by luckyophelia on 10/25/2012 02:03 PM
Get a Grip

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10/25/2012 02:03 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
grumpy2

the only gifts i ever get are socks and underwear.

which is fine i guess cause those are the only things i won't buy from Goodwill lol
 Quoting: Rowsdower


It is the best gift really, I love socks and underwear. Besides, I don't trust my wife when it comes to making decisions for me on electronics and tools, I'd rather do that myself. coffee4
Daersoulkeeper

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10/25/2012 02:04 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
you dont know our relationship so quit acting like you do please. someone saying i love you everyday can become redundant and then it feels after a while like its not even true. now pleae quit trolling my post
 Quoting: luckyophelia

TRUTH is not TROLL


put my whole post in quotes, i explained the redundant thing because thats a womans cursed mind,

"now your complaining about hearing i love you everyday? this is the EXACT reason i REFUSE to say i love you often to my girlfriend, i know how your fucking minds work. i only say it when i genuinely mean it and only so often, and i almost NEVER say it back when she says it because it creates a HABIT, which she will find oh so not very special, just like you admitted. and of course you paraphrase it with (yes those words are special blah blah blah) clearly not. "

Last Edited by Daersoulkeeper on 10/25/2012 02:07 PM
the real reason most people on this planet are the most ignorant gullible people that have ever lived is a little thing called the

TELL-LIE-VISION

television

when you watch it, you put the I(you) in television and you get tel(i)evision

tell lie vision
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/25/2012 02:05 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
he probably got it free lol
luckyophelia (OP)

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10/25/2012 02:06 PM
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Re: So my Boyfriend Got me a Comforter for my Birthday After 1 Year of Dating...
and no hes not creative however i do paint, play piano, write, etc. He just doesn't seem to have a strong sense of identity and I'm trying to help him with that but i guess i cant really change a person. i think change is the wrong word. i dont want to change a thing about him. i just think he could grow more, and being more assertive is part of that.
 Quoting: luckyophelia


you have problems too, sweet pea. You say he dated a 40 year old? Surrogate mother?
Born that way? - 90 plus percent are born loving but get it beaten out of them or repressed in some way. To change someone you have to understand the mechanics and I don't believe you have an inkling. It doesn't happen because you are nice. Really. You are ignoring the reaction you are having to your own frustrated expectations. Neither of you are grown up sweetie.Most of us are walking wounded. Seek healing and trust me - open communication, no secrets, no unvoiced wishes. Tell who you are. Ask who he is, and pay attention.
 Quoting: Kirk


hf

thank you

ive been in therapy 2 years now and still working on the healing part of things. he wasn't with a surrogate mother and didn't have one but the woman did hide the fact that she had 4 kids from him for 9 years, which just made me really freakin angry, not at him, for him.

i agree, commnunication is the issue here. thanks <3

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