I am an attorney who should be billing but instead is trolling GLP. Ask me a question.

If I bug bomb the rats in the attic and they end up being a homeless family instead, how much are you going to cost me to troll on GLP instead of dealing with my case?

What's the best way to get your company chosen for the IP trial team doing the demonstratives? Contact the partner? Send him the sides /animations from previous cases (when authorization from client has been given), bribe the associates with cash, food etc.? Assuming our team has major IP trial experience, a first class portfolio and are looking to expand the customer base into new firms.

There are a lot of firms and conflicts that take you out of the game for a large amount of work in said firm, thus I would like to know how best to break into other firms (and different types of matters) to reduce the chance of being conflicted out by serving the same clients all the time.

Any ideas or suggestions would be graciously accepted and appreciated.

None. I never troll GLP while I'm "on the clock."

I'm not a patent attorney and I don't do IP litigation. It sounds like you have some good ideas. Building relationships with key people is, obviously, the thing to do.

There are trees on right the property line with my neighbor. I want to put in a fence. Do I need his permission to cut down the trees?

If I am stranded with two other people on a life boat from a shipwrecked yauht in the south pacific, somewhere between the U.K and australia and one dude dies, and we eat him, how would you defend me in court against charges of murder/canibalism?

You have just proven that you're an attorney because you just perjured yourself!

T

Last Edited by <<FOCUS HARDER>> on 10/25/2012 02:13 PM

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Don't you have hot paralegals to do all that?

Pfffttt...we're getting $100+ an hour advice, at least include the Skipper.

Last Edited by The Loophole on 10/25/2012 02:15 PM

I can't give you legal advice over the internet.

Wow. This thread is just a bunch of law school hypotheticals. I've been to law school once already. I don't want to play.

My answer my whole life has been Mary Ann. But I might be bored. Ginger.

Just build your fence like this:
[link to dailypicksandflicks.com]

Well, what the heck.

Do lawyers ever hate each other during a trial, or is it just show?

Do all what? Now, if you want to talk about a hotty, let's talk about our office runner. Day-am.

There are many lawyers that I deal with who I dislike. If you see lawyers hating on each other, it's not because it's part of the show. It's because the hate is so strong that they were unable to keep it in.

Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

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A: Accountants know they're boring.

If you had 99 problems, what problem do you not have?

Me too. I charge $250 an hour but you people get my trolling at no charge.

Thanks again for the input, I had considered to seek out the senior partners on the case and send them a free ipad with the demo reel, case captions and references. The only reason I have hesitated was I needed to be sure it actually got to the partner. I'm sure that the material's quality and our experience would stand on its own, its just the problem of breaking into the partner's workload long enough to get the message across. Using an iBribe, I had hoped it would cause the material to at least be looked at. In general, what would be the most effective way to get the device into the partner's hands? Fed Ex a box in the blind is a big risk.. The folks I have worked with are biglaw patent attys who don't even have time for their wives and have more money and toys then a Saudi prince.. Trying to reach the associates, who are just as busy but a bit more approachable could be a more effective delivery but I am unsure of the level of influence they would have over the partner even if I could win their confidence. What is the primary method that vendors use to reach into your world?

Thanks again!

Do you agree that IRAC is a bunch of BS?

lol.lol.lol

Does a last will and testament have to be notorized to be legally binding?

.

If you had a franchise restaurant with an exclusive territory, and the franchisor sold a franchise inside your exclusive territory (yes it's opened and operating) what would you do?

As your attorney, I advise you to watch this pronto.

My criminal defense cousin is too scared to send collection notices or send clients into collect. He fears they will in turn complain to the state bar about unfair billing or fees or what have you.

Any way around all this besides simply not going after money owed? Should he set up his own collections operation too like I suggested?

I guess someone already complained to the bar because they didn't want to pay the rest of the agreed money, so my cousin still has to appear for them but if they haven't paid, it puts him in an awkward position.

How do I hire a HOTTIE female attorney? Those grey suited B-O-R-I-N-G males attorneys are just all boring and business like. I at least want some eye candy to look at when I am forking over $250/hr for routine legal work. In fact if some eye candy was thrown in I would probably pay a 20% premium (it's the company's money after all ... not mine). (specialized stuff ... well I'll deal with "boring", but lets face it 90% of what we send out is just routine stuff)

I challenge you to a duel...