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Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24945571
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10/28/2012 11:33 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
No need to forget ... you just a need to put it into perpsective.

You have wonderful feelings about that individual ... and you obviously had a wonderful time when you were together. Those OLD feelings and those good memories will always be there and always should be there.

Today though is many years removed from those times, and the person YOU were THEN is NOT the same person you are today and the person THEY were THEN is NOT the same person they are TODAY. You can NOT recreate those times and connection with that person today, even if you ran into them, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOW DIFFERENT PEOPLE AT A DIFFERENT STAGE OF YOUR LIFE and have been through VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES!!

Most people only genuinely "Fall in Love (ie: have the STRONG brain chemical addiction to another occure) 2 to 4 times in their lives. TREASURE the memories that you have of the person that it occured with, but also realize it for what it is, a Brain Chemical Addiction which acts on your brain just like any other adediction.

Once you put the OLD vs. the CURRENT situation into perspective and accept the fact that what you are dealing with is a Brain Chemical Addiction then you will be able to move on ... without also forgetting the specialness of what you previously experienced.

Best of luck! hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25450407


OOPS! Correction:

Yes...I did, five times. One was the father of my children, whom I married and divorced after 32 years. But there were four others that I wondered about. Over the years, I have contacted all four and have never regretted it. It sure is better than "wondering what he's doing."
train

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10/28/2012 11:36 AM

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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
Think of life like driving your car. You have such a large front window, but a very small rearview mirror for looking back.
Today is the oldest you've ever been, yet the youngest you'll ever be, so enjoy this day while it lasts.
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 11:37 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
Easy look them up and spend some time with them. Even if there married see if you guys could just all meet (you bring a date) somewhere. People change after all that time and you are in love with an image of who they were, or who you thought they were. It worked for me, thought i would get over him, over the years had he changed not even remotely the guy i thought he would be (physically and mentally). I was in love with the image i conjured in my head of what he did look like and the guy i thought he was going to be. He changed and i changed, so, I think most of the time if it doesn't work out there is a reason always, you just may not see if for a few years. So quit wasting your time and years pining for something that never was!


broccoli
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26300532


ohyeah
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 11:49 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
You will never forget ,i am also an example of this i created the problem i finished with her even tho' i didn't want too and i spent 25 yrs wanting to turn the clock back but was too pigheaded to get in touch ,i knew she wanted me back ,i knew i had the upper hand and i knew that everything was my fault . now its different she got in touch 2 yrs ago i told her my feelings and wanted to try again ,she took all my cash , wanted my house with no 'guarantees'on our getting back together she used my own feelings against me ,so i deserved it, beware turning the clock back opens wounds and revenge can show it's face ,i know what its like to love someone and for it all to kick you in the face .dont do it .forget them its all in the past
Dr.DoomLittle

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10/28/2012 11:51 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
Easy.
Look at a picture of her today.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18970863


this
Dr.DoomLittle

User ID: 6231580
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10/28/2012 11:55 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
that memory you hold in kaleidescope is associated to an emotional reaction.

that emotional reaction is now destructive.

...

and maladaptive.

worthless cognition... garbage.

this person is gone; and so are YOU.

neither of those people exist anymore, as was said before; including you.

mournful love and regret are the devils workshop; purely destructive.
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 11:59 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
I don't know that anyone forgets their 1st love. It will always a special place in your heart.

I hope you aren't hurting a current relationship with this pain.

Best of luck to you.

[link to www.2knowmyself.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26275898
Water Flower

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10/28/2012 12:01 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
from my experience, sometimes it's not the person you were with, but a deeper desire to be happier with someone else in which your current situation doesn't provide. this happens to me often, but it's more of an indication that i need to take a look at my current life and found out why i'm unhappy. anyway, happiness is only found within and not without. but please, do yourself and the other person a favor, don't become a stalker. my hubby's ex (not ex-wife or even baby momma, just a teenage crush) was a real 'pita' for about 17 years and i'm sure she's still around pining over him, just like i still don't trust her.
Dr.DoomLittle

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10/28/2012 12:01 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
I don't know that anyone forgets their 1st love. It will always a special place in your heart.

I hope you aren't hurting a current relationship with this pain.

Best of luck to you.

[link to www.2knowmyself.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26275898

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26464380


good example.

Its like keeping a turd in the toilet and not flushing it. when you go to take another one later, the bathroom stinks.

Last Edited by Intergalactic Diplomat on 10/28/2012 12:01 PM
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 12:04 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
At the end of th emonth just write out an $800 child support check payable to your old love and that should just about do it. Helps most people alot quicker than 25 years,
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 12:16 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
ECT
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 12:20 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
There's no cure for love. Try to avoid it at all costs. Only two things make a man weak: weapons and love. Stay strong.
Goob

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10/28/2012 12:35 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
Think of the dude that is pounding her A$$ right now and how she goes down on em.Hope it helps.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24627253


cruise

Not to mention the genital warts she probably has by now. Hell, having herpes or genital warts after the age of 40 is like having skinned knees being a skate boarder for 20 years.

Ya know what I mean?

Every time I think about banging a woman, I can't help but think how many peckers have been in her hole (s).

I've turned into a monk. Fleshlight FTW!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24512322
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10/28/2012 01:46 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
I was led on by this guy for 10 months, and I am scared of this. I'm scared to become this, to remember this person for the rest of my life.

Time heals, but you haven't gotten over them still after 25 years? I fear for my future.

In the 10 months of knowing him, I have avoided other guys, and I regret this.

We never got together, but he showed me he liked me, all the time while having a girlfriend that worked in the same building as us. I realize I went past regret, and realized I deserve a better guy that would probably cheat on his gf, and if we got together, would cheat on me.

I'm letting this inspire me to talk to more guys, plant more seeds, and I know there's someone I can feel just as intense with.
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 03:51 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?


Also remember, maybe you dodged a bullet with getting with them?
The Other Side
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10/28/2012 04:16 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
Well, I am on the other side of this whole equation. I was in a relationship 20+ years ago that lasted for about 5 years. As it turned out I was the enabler, as my boyfriend cheated on me and I was willing to put up with it. Boy, was I stupid. About 10 or so years after we broke up I found myself with a new love, and it's been fantastic since.

I met my old ex for drinks once, and he explained to me that he loved me terribly, and would do anything to get me back. He even said that his mother kept a picture of us on her bedside table because "I was the good one". Whew...I told him that I had moved on, and that we simply weren't meant for each other. He said he would never stop loving me. I could not say I loved him back, because I didn't. I forgave him...but no more. I knew I had moved on when my dreams about him stopped. I really hope, for his sake, that he has the courage to forget me and move on with someone else...making sure not to repeat the same mistakes that he made with me. That would be the best way to repay me for the crap he pulled.

Maybe you need to know how the other person really feels in order to move on. If you think you already know, then admit it to yourself and give yourself the opportunity to try again with someone new. You're not doing yourself any favors by thinking something is going to work when it most likely never will.
Strawberrymittens

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10/28/2012 04:18 PM

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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
I am unable to forget my old love 25 years ago. Any suggestions on how to forget it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13127957


Look them up, see how they're doing. See if there's still a connection. It may be that you have them so built up in your mind over the years that if you spoke with them in person it might not be the same. They might not even look the same or by the same type of person you fell in love with 25 years ago. Or, maybe they feel the same way and wonder about you too, there might be a chance of rekindling things if both of you are single at this point in your life. I'd look them up. Do it for closure.
The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition. - Carl Sagan
anotheranonymouscowar​d

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10/28/2012 04:27 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
No need to forget ... you just a need to put it into perpsective.

You have wonderful feelings about that individual ... and you obviously had a wonderful time when you were together. Those OLD feelings and those good memories will always be there and always should be there.

Today though is many years removed from those times, and the person YOU were THEN is NOT the same person you are today and the person THEY were THEN is NOT the same person they are TODAY. You can NOT recreate those times and connection with that person today, even if you ran into them, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOW DIFFERENT PEOPLE AT A DIFFERENT STAGE OF YOUR LIFE and have been through VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES!!

Most people only genuinely "Fall in Love (ie: have the STRONG brain chemical addiction to another occure) 2 to 4 times in their lives. TREASURE the memories that you have of the person that it occured with, but also realize it for what it is, a Brain Chemical Addiction which acts on your brain just like any other adediction.

Once you put the OLD vs. the CURRENT situation into perspective and accept the fact that what you are dealing with is a Brain Chemical Addiction then you will be able to move on ... without also forgetting the specialness of what you previously experienced.

Best of luck! hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25450407


As you can see, you're not alone. I still occasionally think about mine that was twenty two years ago- it was also the feeling of rejection that took me a long time to get over.
You've been given some good advice- I found the above particularly insightful. And as someone said, stop looking in the rearview mirror and look ahead. And look at the people/pets/activities that you enjoy and focus on them.
I don't know about you, but I find that one of the blessings of being older now is that I'm much more comfortable in my own skin and don't let my happiness depend on other people so much anymore, whether in friendships or romantic relationships.
You'll be okay. Best to you.
anotheranonymouscoward
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 04:40 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
I am unable to forget my old love 25 years ago. Any suggestions on how to forget it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13127957


Ask God to relieve you from the bondage of self.
Re-living old relationships, past mistakes, past plans and ideas...is part of being self centered.

You are uncomfortable thinking about bygone comforts. Don't let the 'committee' in your head take over all the space in your mind.

Live for today and stop trying to relive the past. In God's world everything happens for a purpose whether we percieve it as good or bad. It's not our purpose to judge or play God. If you can learn from your past and share your experience so it can benefit and strenghten others, then you will be happier.

Get out of the bondage of self and learn how to make someone else feel special and loved.
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 07:48 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?


I wish there was something, a sure way, to rid of someone who does nothing for you.
Terpsichore

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10/28/2012 08:54 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
I am unable to forget my old love 25 years ago. Any suggestions on how to forget it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13127957

Contact them and ask for a photo. He/she is probably hideous looking by now... j/k
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2012 09:00 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
I think my life would have been so different if it had worked out!

Seriously. My life is sooo fucked up! And I had so much love to give... Damn people. Fucked up people.
security70

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11/17/2012 11:52 AM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
over the past 25 yrs i have had many girlfriends and two became wifes, but i still dream about my ex from back then, she was my world and i miss her still, i dont ask why i just get over it and wish for dreams without her, sometimes i get down on my knees and pray, pray for a dream so as to prepair my mind for sleep, if i go to sleep without doing this she is there in my head, i have no hope of getting her back, most of all because i slept with her 18yr old daughter 2yrs ago, i could not help myself it was like a time warp, she looked just like her mum, now i am really lost, she is in my dreams and i can never talk to her again. time to live and dream of better things.

Last Edited by security70 on 11/17/2012 11:54 AM
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2012 12:04 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
I am unable to forget my old love 25 years ago. Any suggestions on how to forget it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13127957


Yep...

Grow up. That'll help.
security70

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11/17/2012 12:14 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
must be great being a complete arse hole.
security70

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11/17/2012 12:17 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
maybe you should look for a thread with the samaritans, it looks like you need them
MHz

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11/17/2012 12:19 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
Think only about the ones you loved 26 years ago and before that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1526835
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11/17/2012 12:31 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
simple "memory wiping technique" illustrated below. 100% effective, but not really a good solution:


suicide
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2012 12:32 PM
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Re: Any suggestions on how to forget an old love 25 years ago?
better pu%$^%& from 25 minutesw ago