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Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?

 
Barry Obama
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 03:04 PM
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Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Say I'm out of a job soon and found guilty of high treason. If they throw me in the grey-bar hotel would I get to select my cellmate after checking out their personalities?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
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11/02/2012 03:15 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Can't do the icon but that was ROFL funny!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
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11/02/2012 03:17 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Thanks for the 5***** and shameless BUMP
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
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11/02/2012 03:42 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Why wonít the agenda-driven media report on Barack Obama being gay, sexually harassing male actor Kal Penn, and frequenting Chicago bathhouse Manís CountryÖyou know, the way they leaped to trash Herman Cain with unsubstantiated sexual innuendo?


Read more [link to hillbuzz.org]


[link to hillbuzz.org]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/02/2012 03:43 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Everything people in Chicago have talked about for years related to Barack Obama being a closeted gay man into younger Pakistani guys must be true too, right?


Read more [link to hillbuzz.org]
catsscratchfever

User ID: 2199611
Canada
11/02/2012 03:45 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
It's all fun and game's Barry until you're eating corn of the COCK...
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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11/02/2012 03:45 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Prison sexuality deals with sexual relationships between confined individuals or those between a prisoner and a prison employee (or other persons to whom prisoners have access). Since prisons are separated by gender, most sexual activity is conducted with a same-sex partner, often in contradiction to a person's normal social sexual orientation. Exceptions to this are sex with an employee of the opposite sex, as well as conjugal visits.

[link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 03:51 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Prison Sex - Tool

(snip)

It took so long to remember just what happened.
I was so young and vestal then,
you know it hurt me,
but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive
even if signs seem to tell me otherwise.
I've got my hands bound and
my head down and my eyes closed,
half-closed, wide open.

Do unto others, what has been done to me,
Do unto others, what has been done to you?

I'm treading water,
I need to sleep a while.
My lamb and martyr, you look so precious.
Won't you come on up closer,
close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this,
I can't stand to burn too long.
Release in sodomy.
Oh, for one sweet moment I am whole.

Do unto you now, what has been done to me,
Do unto you now, what has been done?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 03:52 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
What It Feels Like...to Be a Prison Sex Slave

[link to www.esquire.com]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 04:19 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Thread: Sexual domination in relationships
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 04:51 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Tony Rezko, Obama's buddy, is going to prison for 10 1/2 years.

[link to freedomeden.blogspot.com]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 06:08 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Is it true what they say about dropping the soap? AskMen spoke with a former inmate to get the real story about life behind bars.

[link to www.askmen.com]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 06:09 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
How to Survive in Federal Prison

[link to www.wikihow.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26857421
United Kingdom
11/02/2012 06:09 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Bari J. Bounel will be "tossing salad", and not necessarily in the prison kitchen!

yak
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
11/02/2012 06:10 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
2 Years In Prison - A Man's Story

[link to www.teamliquid.net]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 06:12 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
OP do you have a Prison Fetish?

Should we Lock Up this thread?

Would that make you happy?
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


Helping the Bamster
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 06:15 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
HA Should have NEVER googled "prison life". History has been deleted.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24488287
United States
11/02/2012 06:20 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Say I'm out of a job soon and found guilty of high treason. If they throw me in the grey-bar hotel would I get to select my cellmate after checking out their personalities?
 Quoting: Barry Obama 26174514
What? Send you on a tax payer funded gay bath house vacation!?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22757720
United States
11/02/2012 06:20 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
If you think Obama is going to jail or even worse, going to loose the election, your fucking retarded.

bookmarked for reactions in 4 days
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 06:21 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
^^^Chicago Compromise^^^
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26095198
United States
11/02/2012 06:21 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25799108
United States
11/02/2012 06:24 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
I'm sure that there has to be at least one in Fort Leavenworth that has a taste for Kenyan.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26857421
United Kingdom
11/02/2012 06:28 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
I'm sure that there has to be at least one in Fort Leavenworth that has a taste for Kenyan.
 Quoting: Son of Thor


damned

yak
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 06:31 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
I'm sure that there has to be at least one in Fort Leavenworth that has a taste for Kenyan.
 Quoting: Son of Thor


damned

yak
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26857421


Taste like chicken they say
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26857421
United Kingdom
11/02/2012 06:31 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
I'm sure that there has to be at least one in Fort Leavenworth that has a taste for Kenyan.
 Quoting: Son of Thor


damned

yak
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26857421


Taste like chicken they say
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26174514


scream
CE1
*****

User ID: 26874652
United States
11/02/2012 06:32 PM

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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
Say I'm out of a job soon and found guilty of high treason. If they throw me in the grey-bar hotel would I get to select my cellmate after checking out their personalities?
 Quoting: Barry Obama 26174514


Eric Hinton Holder
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26857421
United Kingdom
11/02/2012 06:36 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
I'm glad I don't live in the USA.

People there get railroaded into prison all the time, and the tendency now is "for-profit" prisons, with guaranteed 90% occupancy.

damned

And, of course, you American persons have to put up with negros, many of which are in jail, just waiting for "new fish".

damned

If you go to jail in the UK, there are very few private prisons, if any, and you almost certainly won't get beaten up or fucked in the ass, unless you are a Jimmy Savile-style kiddy-fiddler, or a gay who wants to get fucked up the ass.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 06:43 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
I'm glad I don't live in the USA.

People there get railroaded into prison all the time, and the tendency now is "for-profit" prisons, with guaranteed 90% occupancy.

damned

And, of course, you American persons have to put up with negros, many of which are in jail, just waiting for "new fish".

damned

If you go to jail in the UK, there are very few private prisons, if any, and you almost certainly won't get beaten up or fucked in the ass, unless you are a Jimmy Savile-style kiddy-fiddler, or a gay who wants to get fucked up the ass.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26857421


Hereís hoping that you wonít find yourself imprisoned anytime soon, but if you tend to skirt the law or know someone whoís looking at some hard time soon, these are the five things you should know about prison, according to Prisoner F.
1- Prisoners are segregated by sexual orientation, crime and race, among other factors
"If all you know about prison is from what Hollywood portrays, then youíll be really surprised. First off, the homosexuality is way off. Homosexuals are in protective custody," says Prisoner F. When you first get processed, "they ask you if youíre gay. They also do a full physical, AIDS test, hepatitis test, etc. There are a lot of men with sex changes (boobs, ass, etc.). If youíre gay, they classify you in the "SNY YARD." SNY stands for Sensitive Needs Yard. SNY consists of prisoners who may be endangered in the company of the general population, and it often includes gays, gang dropouts and child molesters. I asked one officer about the SNY Yard, and he described it as Jurassic Park. And people like Charles Manson and Juan Corona are in a place called PHU, Protective Housing Unit, because they are high-profile people, and people want to beat them up."

[link to www.askmen.com]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 26174514
United States
11/02/2012 06:52 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
"As soon as you walk on the yard, you meet with the shot caller, the person who calls the shots, the leader of the gang, and then what happens is heís going to ask you for your paperwork, to make sure youíre not a piece of sh*t. They always give you paperwork when you go to prison because it has your rights, what you got in trouble for, whatever, this and that. You have to show him that, and if itís bad, theyíll beat him up.

"You have to join a gang no matter what. Either the shot caller or his other associates will teach you the set rules and discipline you must abide by. If you donít, or donít join a gang, what happens is you become an outcast, and you leave yourself open for people to mess with you. Being in those gangs protects you from being messed with; thatís why you stay together. You can socialize and you can make business with other gangs, but you canít go on their turf.

Would "O"/Eric join the black, white, Commie, African, Indonesian or Kenyan gangs?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26857421
United Kingdom
11/02/2012 06:55 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
I'm glad I don't live in the USA.

People there get railroaded into prison all the time, and the tendency now is "for-profit" prisons, with guaranteed 90% occupancy.

damned

And, of course, you American persons have to put up with negros, many of which are in jail, just waiting for "new fish".

damned

If you go to jail in the UK, there are very few private prisons, if any, and you almost certainly won't get beaten up or fucked in the ass, unless you are a Jimmy Savile-style kiddy-fiddler, or a gay who wants to get fucked up the ass.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26857421


Hereís hoping that you wonít find yourself imprisoned anytime soon, but if you tend to skirt the law or know someone whoís looking at some hard time soon, these are the five things you should know about prison, according to Prisoner F.
1- Prisoners are segregated by sexual orientation, crime and race, among other factors
"If all you know about prison is from what Hollywood portrays, then youíll be really surprised. First off, the homosexuality is way off. Homosexuals are in protective custody," says Prisoner F. When you first get processed, "they ask you if youíre gay. They also do a full physical, AIDS test, hepatitis test, etc. There are a lot of men with sex changes (boobs, ass, etc.). If youíre gay, they classify you in the "SNY YARD." SNY stands for Sensitive Needs Yard. SNY consists of prisoners who may be endangered in the company of the general population, and it often includes gays, gang dropouts and child molesters. I asked one officer about the SNY Yard, and he described it as Jurassic Park. And people like Charles Manson and Juan Corona are in a place called PHU, Protective Housing Unit, because they are high-profile people, and people want to beat them up."

[link to www.askmen.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26174514


That's kinda eye-opening!

So, if I was sentenced to prison in the USA could I simply claim to be gay, and get a cell to myself?

This goes against every prison movie I've ever seen, or book I've ever read.

For me, if I had to go to prison, I would prefer to do my whole bit in solitary, providing I had unlimited access to books.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26857421
United Kingdom
11/02/2012 06:58 PM
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Re: Can I Pick My Cellmates In The Pen?
"As soon as you walk on the yard, you meet with the shot caller, the person who calls the shots, the leader of the gang, and then what happens is heís going to ask you for your paperwork, to make sure youíre not a piece of sh*t. They always give you paperwork when you go to prison because it has your rights, what you got in trouble for, whatever, this and that. You have to show him that, and if itís bad, theyíll beat him up.

"You have to join a gang no matter what. Either the shot caller or his other associates will teach you the set rules and discipline you must abide by. If you donít, or donít join a gang, what happens is you become an outcast, and you leave yourself open for people to mess with you. Being in those gangs protects you from being messed with; thatís why you stay together. You can socialize and you can make business with other gangs, but you canít go on their turf.

Would "O"/Eric join the black, white, Commie, African, Indonesian or Kenyan gangs?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26174514


Theorizing about this (I'm not criminally inclined) and if I was railroaded into prison on a bogus charge, I would immediately seek out the Aryan Nation, and join up.

Not because I hate anybody - I don't, but for self-preservation, and maintaining the virginity of my asshole.

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